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Messed Up In The Head


Guest Turbanated
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you will never really fit in even if you get rid of kesh and dara.. you can never make everyone happy.. not even the posh indian women LOL people that hate always pick one thing or another.. you cant ever be perfect for the world.. just care about being perfect with the one who will never desert you

This is so very true. Wise words indeed. The world will always look for faults in an individual no matter how "perfect" that person may appear to be.

I mean look at this way: All those white youngsters / teens who feel disenfranchised and lost - what's their reason for feeling the same way as you? They haven't got kesh or anything like that, yet they still feel as if the world hates them, or girls aren't paying attention to them, etc.

You need to let go of the excess anger and stop blaming your Sikhi-ness for your problems. Think outside the box.

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Nah, some of you don't get it.

Sunsingh, i'm not necessarily interested in these women (i am sometimes but its not the point), its the look i get from them while i'm walking past them or whatever. Why should I be getting so much hate, what have i done? Thats what ticks me off.

Passing Cloud, I don't want to be hated. Its not a good feeling. I don't want to remove my kes to remove peoples hatred but to avoid feeling like a bomb which is about to go off. What you say about skin colour and still not being accepted is true though, I imagined that myself.

Kaljugi, I feel my sikh - ness has contributed to my mental problems. I'm sorry i'm not as blessed as you and have the strength to look passed them.

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Nah, some of you don't get it.

Sunsingh, i'm not necessarily interested in these women (i am sometimes but its not the point), its the look i get from them while i'm walking past them or whatever. Why should I be getting so much hate, what have i done? Thats what ticks me off.

Passing Cloud, I don't want to be hated. Its not a good feeling. I don't want to remove my kes to remove peoples hatred but to avoid feeling like a bomb which is about to go off. What you say about skin colour and still not being accepted is true though, I imagined that myself.

Kaljugi, I feel my sikh - ness has contributed to my mental problems. I'm sorry i'm not as blessed as you and have the strength to look passed them.

honestly i think i know what you mean... i think its because you need to go to smagams as much as you can.. if you dont you will never know where you belong because you actually belong in sangat..... dont know what i would do without sangat..

i went to california and staying there with my relatives and no sangat i was going insane... i was crying for sangat.. cos i was going away from sikhi..

i am not even amrit thari.. yet so i do know what you mean i always say to people that i am sooo afriad that i wont have sangat.. if i dont have it i can see myself going away from sikhi because i am so weak myself eventhough i know i would hate to be what i used to be when i wasnt into sikhi it was seriously hell!! :\

Suggesstion is Take a Vacation and go get some sangat go to TO Reinsabaii that is next week or just go to gurudwara where there is always keertan and lotta gursikh sangat!!

I am sure that will help if it doesnt work then come back and write here

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Bhai-Anokh-Singh-Babbar-5.jpg

One day Bhai Sahib was arrested by Vairoval Police in the Amritsar area. For many days Bhai Sahib was kept hanging upside down in the police station. Foot-long metal rods were heated up and hammered into his legs, from the heels upward. A pin was put through his private parts and an electricity connection was attached to it so that he could be shocked. Hot metal rods were also passed through his chest. But the Guru's Singh took the tortures calmly. All the torturers heard was "Vahiguru". No cries of pain, no screams.

After the torture, Bhai Sahib was left on the ground, unable to move. The time for Rehraas arrived. Bhai Sahib opened his eyelids but the sockets that held his eyes were hollow. His beautiful beard was soaked in blood. Those eyes which were once lost in deep meditation had been taken out by the dushts.

Bhai Sahib called out, "Sentry! Bhai Sahib jee, what time is it?" He felt around himself with his hands to find the guard.

"It's 7.15 Babio. What? What has happend to your eyes??"

The Sentry looked at Bhai Sahib's face and felt frightened.

"Oh, it must be time for Sodar then. Sodar tera kayhaa..." Bhai Anokh Singh began to recite Rehraas Sahib lying on the ground. Even though his body was shattered, Bhai Sahib recited the paath in a sweet voice. The Sentry too felt the vairaag.

After Sodar, Bhai Sahib, still lying on the ground began Ardaas. It was a daily part of his routine. "Ten Gurus, Punj Pyaaray, Chaar Sahibzaaday, The Guru's Jhanday and Boongay..." Bhai Sahib then began his personal ardaas: "Hay Akaal Purakh Suchay Paatshah Guru Nanak dev Gareeb Nivaaj Satguru, the day which rose in your bhaaNaa has passed in happiness, meditating on your naam. Suchay Paatshah, night has arrived, may it too pass while remembering your Naam and in your BhaaNaa....Satguru, May I be a Shaheed...Suchay Patshaah, save me from becoming a traitor...Satguru, may the Sikhi and kesh you have given me last with me till my final breaths...Such Paatshah, have mercy on all....Bolay So Nihaal...Sat Sree Akaal!!"

The Jaikara Bhai Sahib sounded echoed throughout the police station.

The Sentry ran to the station-head and surrendered his rifle and tabled his resignation.

"I can't do this job that forces people to kill saints...I can't..." He kept repeating himself.

The SSP cursed, "They are all magicians...another of our officers has left the service because of this paath!!"

And then another atrocity was committed. Bhai Sahib's tongue was cut off using a metal cutting saw. Streams of blood flowed from Bhai Sahib's mouth but the faithful Singh raised his hands in Ardaas and thanked Vahiguru.

In the end, the police became tired of all this and shot Bhai Sahib in the station. When the shot was fired, a motor cycle was started so that the gun could not be heard. Over night, Bhai Sahib's body was thrown into the river Beas.

singhs like bhai anokh singh ji inspire us. singhs went thru so much torture but their sikhi didnt die.. how can we let down our sikhi just because of the certain way people look at us.

if you go on with that belief that you are a weak person you will never know your strength

his story is mind-blowing !

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Guest Turbanated

honestly i think i know what you mean... i think its because you need to go to smagams as much as you can.. if you dont you will never know where you belong because you actually belong in sangat..... dont know what i would do without sangat..

i went to california and staying there with my relatives and no sangat i was going insane... i was crying for sangat.. cos i was going away from sikhi..

i am not even amrit thari.. yet so i do know what you mean i always say to people that i am sooo afriad that i wont have sangat.. if i dont have it i can see myself going away from sikhi because i am so weak myself eventhough i know i would hate to be what i used to be when i wasnt into sikhi it was seriously hell!! :\

Suggesstion is Take a Vacation and go get some sangat go to TO Reinsabaii that is next week or just go to gurudwara where there is always keertan and lotta gursikh sangat!!

I am sure that will help if it doesnt work then come back and write here

Thanks for the advice. I may try that. Yeah, I haven't got any gursikh sangat at all, maybe that is part of the problem. I've tried making friends with gursikhs in the past but I don't fit in. Maybe it was those ones in particular. I don't know. Anyway, i'll try going to a Reinsabaii maybe. Thanks again.

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I understand exactly what you are saying Turban Singh. you feel people are always staring at you wherever he goes because he stands out with his turban. I can also understand that even our asian community ie Some Hindus will give Sikhs dirty looks. And make you feel uncomfortable with their snidey looks.Its like because you have the turban on. you always have to have a happy face on and you constantly on show to the world. And everyone is judging you.

As a mona I have also noticed this kind of behaviour from the fellow asian community. White people on the whole dont mind. whenever I have my Kara on I seem to get nosey people looking at me contantly. especially the older generation of the asian community. even fellow Sikhs.

turbanated, but take it from me you have it easy. I am a sikh male and I have no sight in my right eye. This bring alot of problems for me. one I have the obvious problem of no sight. then their is the squint. which people cant help but stare at me. people dont usually look at my eyes. but when they see my Kara they start to have a good look at my eyes. and it makes me feel uncomfotable. its not easy going out their with one eye. you have two eyes. use them.

I think you should hold your head up high and eventually you will not even notice anyone looking at you. because you just dont look at them.

And listen to this song

Sikhs are very well respected and succesfull people. Dont let anyones snidey looks get to you! back in india all our sevants ar indian hindus who work for us. I think these people resent this fact and it comes out in giving you a dirty look or something.

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Thanks for the advice. I may try that. Yeah, I haven't got any gursikh sangat at all, maybe that is part of the problem. I've tried making friends with gursikhs in the past but I don't fit in. Maybe it was those ones in particular. I don't know. Anyway, i'll try going to a Reinsabaii maybe. Thanks again.

v

veerji yh try going to the smagam. i used to go when i was moni it was a really good feeling unconsciously it helped me get into sikhi more. before i didnt really care about keeping gursikh sangat i would attend reinsabaii the sangat here would take me with them to smagams that took place 6hrs or even 12 hours away. after keeping kesh i feel like i can hang out with people that arent into sikhi but not for too long i start to lose the sense of myself and start feeling lost.....i dont know if you feel the same way but i tend to get uncomfortable then i randomly go to gurudwara if i dont have sangat just to have sikhi environment around me...

yh like gupt veerji said i have problem being around desis more than gore because desi pick on you more if you are religious...best thing is to ignore unless they are doing bezati of guru sahib. desis do stare a lot at anyone who doesnt fit their expectations if you dont look like most teenagers they stare... now days a lot of kids dont care about sikhi so i bet they stare because you are one of the few who has kept your kesh.... once you go into sangat you will start to feel pride with ur sikhi roop.

http://akj.org/skins/one/ they usually have reinsabaii updates here (they arrange a place for you to stay if you go for a whole week)

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Guest Turbanated

I understand exactly what you are saying Turban Singh. you feel people are always staring at you wherever he goes because he stands out with his turban. I can also understand that even our asian community...

Mod note: Please do not quote long posts

Sorry to hear about your vision my friend. Thanks for the advice.

Kharkooartsy, thanks.

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I feel what your going through, its like you feel that just because you notice people looking at you, you think they are looking down on you basically thinking you are less than them, you think the girls think your ugly, and the white folk are thinking that ur muslim and are scared, and you hate it right??

I went through the same and still do, But by reading gurbani i have realized that it doesnt matter what all these "other" people think of me, I am comfortable in my own shoes, I dont need someone to tell me how good i look or if my turban makes me less good looking, or think that im muslim, because for me the only person who can judge me is waheguru =god . These people who your talking about they keep coming and going, all the time. Does your family have a problem with the way you look?? no. do your friends have a problem? no.

Try embracing yourself for who you are at this point. by the way your decribing yourself you seem to like your turban and your kesh, but you havent embraced yourself for being handsome singh with the crown of his guru. It seems as if your looking for a excuse for cutting your hair, and some reason for your psychological disorder as in why is it that bad. Your psychological disorder is not that bad but you yourself are making it bad by thinking that every person that looks at you is just hating on your turban, which gets you angry.

I say brother EMBRACE YOURSELF,its your identity, its what makes you who you are. Remember ONLY WAHEGURU CAN JUDGE YOU, no one else because they dont matter, they were born the same way as you and are gonna pass on the same way.

hope this helped :)

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Guest Turbanated

Avnit, thanks for the reply.

Its not really white people to be honest, in fact I get good feelings from them (generally) when I have my turban and beard. Its when I wear a patka that I get dirty looks from them, not looks of fear but looks of hate. From the front, the patka I guess can look like a cap that the muslims wear.

My mother actually does have a problem with the way I look. She's always banging on about how my beard makes me look old and ugly and that I should cut it. I had an idiotic friend who always used to diss singhs but I keep away from him now. But it just showed if he can think like that, then there's loads of people just like him who have this perception of singhs, and that really ticks me off. Why the flipping hate man?

Sometimes I can't deal with the anger that makes me feel. I don't know if anyone's ever watched Falling Down starring Michael Douglas. Thats what I feel like. I feel like going on a rampage and doing damage to things and people.

Mind you, I guess theres hope, I don't always feel like this. Today I went out with my turban and beard and I felt fine. Its a state of mind that fluctuates.

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