Marriage-Kids

[Guest Gupt_singhnee]

VjkkVjkf

I come here to seek advice. I have been married for just over 2 years. I am now at a stage where I am ready to have children. Problem is, my husband completely shuts me down saying we will never have kids. I am deeply heart broken. My family has also talked to him and explained that in grist jeevan, having kids is also important.

I just don't know what to do. I just feel like crying. I wish it mattered to him to see how much this is killing me on the inside.

I know there isn't much anyone can say to help but I just felt like posting to get some comfort cause I feel so alone on the inside

[Guest Guest]

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

Do you know the reason or did he tell you why "no kids" ?

There could be a number of reasons

1. Financial

2. Don't want additional responsibility

3. Loss of freedom

etc

So unless you know and tell what Exactly is his problem, it would be Unwise to give any suggestion.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

[Guest Guest]

With Guru Sahibs Kirpa we have never actually struggled financially we be did want to ensure we we had enough saved up. That was done as we were both promoted in our careers. He never takes on any responsibilities and constantly states "I just want to chill". He tried convincing me that raising kids is a burden and too many responsibilities.

[harinder kaur]

VjkkVjkf

I come here to seek advice. I have been married for just over 2 years. I am now at a stage where I am ready to have children. Problem is, my husband completely shuts me down saying we will never have kids. I am deeply heart broken. My family has also talked to him and explained that in grist jeevan, having kids is also important.

I just don't know what to do. I just feel like crying. I wish it mattered to him to see how much this is killing me on the inside.

I know there isn't much anyone can say to help but I just felt like posting to get some comfort cause I feel so alone on the inside

I was once in that position. Pm me if you want to talk.

[HeatSikhingMissile]

With Guru Sahibs Kirpa we have never actually struggled financially we be did want to ensure we we had enough saved up. That was done as we were both promoted in our careers. He never takes on any responsibilities and constantly states "I just want to chill". He tried convincing me that raising kids is a burden and too many responsibilities.

Don't you think the questions like "ideally where do you see yourself, your spouse and your family in the next 2, 5, 10 years etc." should have been asked BEFORE you went into marriage with this person? :huh2:

[Guest Guest]

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

Don't worry have faith in Almighty, will ONLY recommend that you do Sukhmani Sahib Paath on daily basis, take season fruits as offering to the Gurudwara and wash dirty dishes in Langar.

Guru Sahib aape mehar karenge ji.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

[VanHelsingh]

Speaking from a guys POV, maybe if he's so against the idea of LOTS of kids, you could try convincing him that you only want one? Try not to floor him immediately and just take it easy? I'm not sure about his desire for chilling, but raising ONE child and all the associated costs (financially and otherwise) are so much higher in the kind of world we live in today. Although you say you're flying in your respective careers so I don't think money is an issue.

Sounds like a typical guy really. I don't think you've got much to worry about. If he's still relatively young (under-30) I can understand his desire to chill. If he's saying kids are TOTALLY off the table forever, then you're in a bit of a pickle. I don't know why he'd be so against bacheh.

[SarabjeetS]

Penji , first try to know why he does not want to have a child ?

Is he afraid to have a baby girl ?

Is he only interested in having a baby boy ?

Do you both have a bad chemistry between both of you ?

I am only 21 yr old but mature enough to understand where u are coming from ..

Try talking to him . After all , he's your husband ...

And mine is the case that I was born when my dad was 40 yr old or something ... and now he's grown 60 and I am still not self-dependent ... not a job , not completed my studies yet ..

So , my point is that he can still enjoy his life with wife and baby ... But , if you guyz get too late to have a kid , then you may grow older before your kid is settled well ... foreseeing is important here !

[UKnihang]

Talk to him. Get ur parents and his parents to sit and talk with him. Im sure bothe parents want grandchildren and want the generation to carry on.

My friend had something goin on lyk this. But the girl didnt want kids. <edited>

Whatim saying is........dont force him.

[DalbirSingh]

The greatest wealth a guy can have is children, to carry his own lineage. Perhaps someone from his family can talk to him, perhaps his dad or someone. You could ask him about it or you could do what loads of women do which is seduce the guy into it. So it happens without the planning.