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i really want to change my lifestyle.... i want to sleep less, get up early do nitnem, and really lose some weight. i want to excercise have discipline eat healthy food. i want to study well ..i want to change. i dont know what to do. the key is ardas. but i dont know what to do or say. i feel so lost. i start follow this path.. but i feel like i cant handle this. sikhi isto hard for me, sometimes i want to go back to my old life....have my hair loose, my eyebrows done, wants to party...whats happening with me

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Wjkk wjkf.

You dont want to go bak!!!!! Amrit and a good life is the only way ur guna get out of 84,000,000 lives. Having ir hair loose and partying is bad as it is an shudnt be done in the first place.

In ardas say "hai waheguru ji maine sikhi sidak bakshna ta agay lae gyan bakshna ji"

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Guest singhkhalsa

relax for a moment.

live in the moment. each breath is a gift, without it u are dead. all the change is good, be in control of each action, be graceful and be holy in everything you do.

in your ardas be sincere, stop asking and asking and asking, all the 6 billion ppl just want more and more, for once be grateful in your prayer.

when you do ardas, stop and be calm listen to your soul, do benti to God to show you and lead you on the path.

read bani, and try to understand the meaning of what you read, what is guru ji teaching us? what is the meaning of mool manter, what is japji sahib tellin us, how can we implement it. the banis of rehiras and kirtan sohila.

all the time try to make ur self say vaheguru, when you see someone, say vaheguru, when you eat, be aware of what you eat, remember small amounts, if u feel hungry then eat again sooner but small amounts, dnt eat anything unhealthy, stay away from fried, sugary, fast food, stay away from white flour, if you do then limit it, aadd salad to your food.

when you sit and when you stand, just keep saying vaheguru, listen to kirtan all the time, listen to katha ... read about the gurus...

be kind, and compassionate, and be forgiving, watch your emotions.....remember you are blessed to be alive, you have a purpose, you must serve everyone and everything.

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Guest Sehaj dhari

Khalsa jio, i too felt the same- certain situations and circumstances forces one to think this way, if we believe in it then most likely it happens. phenj dont be down- have faith. i started thinking this too... but one must remember guru sahib is always forvever with you. forget the world. look inside you- thats the most important cheej. talk to guru sahib always and guru sahib will talk back. he is your true friend- no one else goes with you. remember this phenj - this is not to say ignore others. just dont let things affect you.

the user above has sed it all - and thats the main thing..

gurfathe jee

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Phenji I was like you, I was lazy as h*ll and only cared about my looks, guys checking me out etc(feeding my ego), used to go drinking and clubbing, but every single moment my heart cried out in pain. I could not understand what was wrong, I got called the most beautiful and asked out by the best looking guys, and had everything a young woman could want materially, but still I felt so incredicbly empty. I would go home after a night of clubbing, look at Guru jis photo and cry and cry.

Until the day I stated bhagti. Finally I filled the void that had been missing all my life, I cried out tears of joy and love- no more empty material shite, no more dealing with the lust, envy and jealousy of others, no more vanity and no more feeling alone. The darshans came and the beautiful samadhis started.

Penji I would rather die than have the life I had, one can truly have everything yet feel they have nothing- the emptiness I felt was all consuming, I used to cry almost every single night in my pain, I felt the scum of maya and the evil around me and it killed me, yet everyone thought I was so happy and fulfilled.

I would get attacked, paralysed and tormented by real demons at night and feel peoples kalyug during the day. I came to a point where I would not even be friends with a guy because I felt the lust and cut off my girl mates aswell, sensing the jealousy and the darkness it brought with it.

Do not be fooled by the maya and the bullsh*t image society, it is the devil in disguise seducing us to worship our own dark and demonic egos. Losing the lords love now would finish me, as bhagat ravidas said, I can get cut into pieces but if I lose my lords love, I would die.

I am not amritdhari, the hukam has not willed it, but looks etc do not matter to me, I would burn my face in fire and acid if need be.

Step on the path of loving devotion- bhagti- and love Him with all your heart Bhenji and he will bless you infinately.

God bless you.

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i also stopped caring bout looks but idk it all is sarting coming back, people would approach me, said im beautifull, that i got beautifull hair(got long curly hair) i liked the attention....and i want to get it back... it sounds redicilous but i miss it..at this point doing nitnem means nothing to me, nothing to gain from it, i miss the partying and dancing and socialising...a few months before i said i will never miss this crap but now it confronts me...im thinking to get off my keski and be th happy me again as hard it sounds... but im not having true happiness....i was feeling better when i had hair cut, believed more in god, now it feels fake wearing keski without nitnem

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i also stopped caring bout looks but idk it all is sarting coming back, people would approach me, said im beautifull, that i got beautifull hair(got long curly hair) i liked the attention....and i want to get it back... it sounds redicilous but i miss it..at this point doing nitnem means nothing to me, nothing to gain from it, i miss the partying and dancing and socialising...a few months before i said i will never miss this crap but now it confronts me...im thinking to get off my keski and be th happy me again as hard it sounds... but im not having true happiness....i was feeling better when i had hair cut, believed more in god, now it feels fake wearing keski without nitnem

i love the penjis post about how she rather die than be the way she used to be..

I have felt like crap too sometimes i am not amritthari yet but since i started wearing keski and didnt do nitnem i felt like i just had it for show. i totally understand where you are coming from. my story isnt different than yours. i used to do everything i wanted before i got more into sikhi but there was still this emptiness that couldnt be fulfilled... then after highschool before i started college.. i was spending more time alone.. i would listen to songs about shaheeds was very passionate about learning about shaheeds but then there was this weirdness... i was reading about those that died for sikhi yet i didnt do anything myself.... i didnt even keep my kesh... so after the realization i started keeping kesh

started doing paath but then the whole maya issues that held me back and still hold me back... i was soo scared that i would go back to how i used to be so i started wearing keski and thought it would really keep me on track....

then i started feeling horrible for being "keski wali" and having such a filthy soul.. i remember crying because of jealousy one time because i didnt know why i felt the way i did.. i stopped doing my paath... i knew i didnt do what a keski wali should be doing it was sooo annoying it was killing my self confidence. I am starting to get better at nitnem now but still stuck in maya

It is soooooo hard to be into sikhi away from Maya... although i knew i dont ever want to be the person i was i still sometimes would give in and say to myself... that ahhh... if i were the way i used to be i could do this and that..or why look like a singhni when i dont act like one..

everytime someone said ahh.....you are so much into sikhi or something close to that....or asked me when i am going to take amrit?? i would get really really upset.......

its because you dont want people to think you are something you are not.. and when you look like something you are not (bana and no bhakti - it gives you a lot of pain... ) but what I realized that although i know being away from sikhi is like HELL i start to go that way and only thing that can keep me from being that person is sangat. Sangat brings back that pyaas for amrit... and that pyaas is what makes you do nitnem and follow rehit

When i go to keertan i am sitting there with all that maya thinking bad about people around me and then seeing a gursikh pyara takes all that away.. and makes you feel humble..go to keertan, go to reinsabaiis... do seva... you will be fine

ijn@w idsMdiVAw durmiq vM\Y imqR AswfVy syeI ]

jinhaa dhisa(n)dharriaa dhuramath va(n)n(j)ai mithr asaaddarrae saeee ||

The sight of them banishes my evil-mindedness; they are my only true friends.

hau FUFydI jgu sbwieAw jn nwnk ivrly kyeI ]2]

ho dtoodtaedhee jag sabaaeiaa jan naanak viralae kaeee ||2||

I have searched the whole world; O servant Nanak, how rare are such persons! ||2||

Longing for keertan, vaheguroojee... bairaag... is what you get when you go to keertan.......and with that longing you get the desire for simran and paath

Try going to Reinsabaiii .. fly, take a train or w/e if you need to...

Be around sangat as much as you can..

Read about Shaheeds

Do ardaas

http://sikhitothemax...p?ShabadID=1512

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omg this is EXACTLY what is happening to me, i couldnt describe this better...phenji u feel me...arghh im just soooo insecure about what will happen with me.. my mind is running all ways....old life..new life.. ":(

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once u start walking on the path, the old life will not seem as sweet. Even if u give up and go back into that lifestyle, a part of you will always feel incomplete, no matter how much you drink and party, there will always be something missing from you, your soul will still be calling out for vaheguroo ji. You'll feel worse when you are drinking and partying because inside you will remember sikhi and what you should really be doing. (ive done what your thinking of doing, and eventually come back to the path of sikhi with maharajs kirpa). whats helped me is sangat, going to the gurdwara several times a aweek and listening to as much paath daily as i can.

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