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well the old life is still seeming sweet, maby i need some more time to become stronger from inside, the outside and accepting of it will come later caus if im not doing this by heart i dont think i should do it ..

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it's all about sangat. there is a negative energy pervading the west that influences the mind towards this. you need to stop having sangat with friends/family that make you want to go back to the old way and start having sangat with those who have sharda in Guru ji's teachings. the positive energy of the positive sangat, and of regular sangat with the guru provides a lot of protection. try to find new sangat by going to sikh groups or just doing regular seva somewhere. If you can't find sangat, you are better off just going to the gurdwara by yourself every day to listen to katha or kirtan for a while b/c it will strengthen you. everyday do benti to maharaj for sikhi dhaan, more simran, and chardi kala, continual ardass helps a lot.

I've been through all this and lived in university when I was making the transition. I had no sangat at all for a long time and many times the old life seemed sweet to me too. Believe me, the change is doable and the mind will change, but you need to tend it like it's a garden.

Sow seeds of right thought with sakhis of puratan singhs, the Gurus, saints, seva, katha, kirtan, *****satsangat****etc rather than weeds of negative thoughts, tv shows that promote harmful things that you want, and bad sangat.Then over time the new life will seem much sweeter.

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but there is more than sangat... im not accepting the natural me ... its my inner fight for wich i need time..i think ive taken too fast steps,cant handle so much change at once, maby thats y i want to go back.. and even though there is enough sangat here.. the biggest obstacle is myself.. im not being true to myself ..thats y need to become stronger inside.. and need more time ... if i will die in this time.. maby its not meant to be, im not blessed with gursikhi jeevan..

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but there is more than sangat... im not accepting the natural me ... its my inner fight for wich i need time..i think ive taken too fast steps,cant handle so much change at once, maby thats y i want to go back.. and even though there is enough sangat here.. the biggest obstacle is myself.. im not being true to myself ..thats y need to become stronger inside.. and need more time ... if i will die in this time.. maby its not meant to be, im not blessed with gursikhi jeevan..

You may not get this chance agan for millions of years after your death on earth. You will die one day and when you do, you'll be in so much pain- the greatest pain is the cycle of births and deaths for us.

We were put on earth for one reason only, and that is to do bhagti and find Truth. We have been put in a great testing and learning ground, the earth realm. We have been deliberately been brainwashed by society(all gods hukam and tests) to believe that we are here simply to live life(pay off karams of dukh and sukh)- those who rise above this lie and truly believe and have faith embark on the path of the bhagat.

The fools in their pain indulge in the 5 thieves, they slander to settle their insecurities, they self indulge and become lustful, angry, jealous- they feed their 5 theives and add heavily to the kal of kalyug. Do you really want to be one of them, do you want to go back into the ways of satan or rise above them and become a gurmukh, winning over this life and the next.

The fools die and spend years upon years as lost souls, sometimes attached to their previous houses- influencing the houses new owners negatively, sometimes spend years in hell etc.

Be true to yourself, dont let the base mental state of kalyug influence you.

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p.s you don't need to be amritdhari to clean yourself up from within- Gurbani says we can take a million cleanising baths but if our insides are dirty there is no saving us.

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I think you are trying to move to fast to change the negativity. Rather than taking big steps take smaller steps like a journey and have breaks in between of what you like doing in your spare time which is something positive. Look at where you are now in life and where you would like to be. Once you have thought about that then you can measure the time in between and what you need to do in practice to get where yu want to be.

Only positive thinking and positive peoplearound you will help you on your journey to where you want to be. Noone said life is easy but it's a challenge that's why makes it exciting and then you have to adapt to that new change. Think about what your current life does and ralise negativity it creates are you happy in that? Try writing down what you want to change and the ways in which that can help you to lead a good Sikh lifestyle.

Remember we are all here because we went through 8.4 million life forms even this human life is tough can you really re live all the dukh and sukh again? a Sikh is a learner we all make mistakes but mistakes are good noone is perfect but it means we can learn from mistakes and better ourselves as individuals so that society looks at us different and recognizes oh yeah Sikhs are good people who help out anyone regardless of who or where they come from.

Be strong and never let anyone take you down, change will happen over time when you soon become to realize the true clean way of life.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I feel the exact same way... and also wanna go back to the old me... I have never touched any drugs or alcohol in my life so the, "old me" was just the same person without dastaar and dhari.. Since birth I was always into sikhi and in college I kept my hair and took amrit after desiring to do so for many years.... lately I want a change my outlook to the way I used to be.. lately I've been getting tired of people looking at me which is starting to make me uncomfortable... My parents never forced me or asked me to keep my hair, my fiancé has always been supportive from the time of keeping my hair to this point of being confused. I really never had any gursikh sangat, I dont know if thats playing any role in being little confused.... Like I get it, I get the history and everything that has to do with it, what I keep asking myself is that if God is one then God will love me regardless of my image and as long as I stay the same person as I am... Also I am the only child so sometimes it gets hard to talk parents about the stuff I am going through... I don't know if its school related stress is getting to me or what it is... I cant point a finger at it... its just I wanna be able to not wear anything on my head and just be sort of be free... My desire to change back is not any sort of attention from girls or a easier life ..... Please do provide any feedback...... sorry for the long post....

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hey bhenji,

The change is a lot. One thing that helps me is to focus on one small thing at a time.

We're like fighters, wrestlers against our desires. In a fight, if 5 people come at me at once, by fighting all at once I'm bound to fail. Instead, I must first back off and turn a little bit, so that they're not all around me at once. Make sure that one is between you and the others. Then attack with everything you have on that one until the person is finished. Now you only have 4 to deal with. Then 3, then 2, then 1.

One thing that helped was to focus on one thing I want to do or stop doing, and try it for 30 days. Then it becomes habit. In 1 year that's 12 things.

This video might help: http://tiny.cc/ax6g3

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DEAR BROTHER,I SUGGEST THE FOLLOWING TO GET SOME PERSONAL IMPROVEMENT IN YOUR DAILY LIFE

EVERY THING IN THIS LIFE CAN BE USELESS IF NOT DONE FROM THE INSIDE OUT

SO DETERMINE IN YOUR HEART AND MIND THAT YOU HAVE BEEN CAGED IN A BODY THAT REQUIRES DISCIPLINE AND CONTROL OTHERWISE IT WILL BE THE OTHER WAY AROUND,SO AS YOU WAKE UP DO EVERY DAY A SHOWER (DEPENDING WHERE YOU LIVE DO IT COLD IN WINTER AND WARM IN SUMMER),MASSAGE VIGOROUSLY YOUR BODY TO HELP WAKING IT UP,DO AT LEAST 5 DANDS AND 5 INDIAN PUSH UPS OFFER EACH ONE TO EACH OF OUR GURU'S AND BREATH AFTERWORDS A SLOW NASAL BREATH TO CALM DOWN AND AS IT HAPPENS SIT FOR YOUR DAILY PRAYERS BUT BEFORE OPEN AT RANDOM A PAGE OF OUR GURU GRANTH SAHIB JI AND READ YOUR DAILY ADVICE

TO BE A SIKH ALSO MEANS NOT TO BE A SLAVE OF ANYTHING OR ANYONE SO DO NOT ALLOW YOUR TRUE SELF TO BE ENCAGED BY A TRICKY MIND AND COMFORTS THAT HELPS SLUGISH BEHAVIOUR

BE WELL AND TREAT GOLD AND A PIECE OF CHARCOAL AS THE SAME

Z.S.A.

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asa di // is really really beautiful. when i'm thinking of partying and shaving cause i wanna wear short , remember asa di // . Its all about loving god and praising him and

it fills you up with compassion , love and reminds the of sikhi being better than the greatest treasure you can find on earth.

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