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Marrying A Girl From India .... Oops?


Guest The Super VanVander
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Guest The Super VanVander

OK - i married a girl from india, I am from the UK, about 2 months ago and she is still over in india. However, I've heard lots and lots of stories about girls from india comming over to the UK / CANADA / USA whatever and causing problems and in many cases divorcing their partner.

for example, i just learnt that somone i know married a girl from india. She came and lived here for 6 months before telling her husband that she wanted to return home and she demanded that he take her back to india himself. Once they reached india she phoned the punjabi police, made an allegation of mistreat and abuse, and had her husband arrested, she also had his relatives in india also arrested after claiming they had also abused her.

this story is on top of the dozens of other ones i have heard in recent weeks. i don't know, maybe people are just trying to scare me but I am worried. I believe that i have found a nice girl, but all those who have been played probably thought the same thing.

so does anyone have any advice, any suggestions about how to play this.... should i start being strict with her (not sure how i can do this over the phone) and give the impression i will take no crap from anyone or what....

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do ardas and take a hukamnama before you do anything, act according to how Guru Sahib says.

Also, how do you know that that guy didn't mistreat her? Acting strict is hardly going to help. Show such pyar and gursikhi qualities that she would not want to leave you. If you keep Gursikhi as the focal point of your relationship it should HOPEFULLY help to prevent any problems.

You have gone infront of maharaj and made your promises together to remain with each other for as long as the other lives, remember maharaj is more powerful than anyone, keep doing your ardasa to him. read lots of bani etc. read bani and do simran with your wife, do ardas together for success in your marriage.

Also, always remember, if you two are amritdhari then you can always go to the panj pyare together in the case of any relationship problems.

Sant Jarnail Singh Ji said: "If we speak to someone with hatred and try to assert our superiority, it will create hatred in the minds of everyone. So long as we have the spirit of love, so long as we have the support of Satguru Hargobind Sahib, the Master of Miri and Piri, is there any power on earth that can subdue us?"

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Koi gal nahee. just cos a few Indian nutcases divorced their husbands soon after marriage it doesn't necessarily mean she's one of them just cos she's from India. Relax bhai, drink some nice indian cha, put your feet up, watch india destroy England in the cricket test match that started today. :)

Good luck on your marriage goals in 2011 OP

:)

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Guest Guest

Be respectful and loving but firm and in control. Obviously raising your voice, being unreasonable or OTT strict is no good, but your wife needs to be able to respect you as the head of the relationship . Relationships often fail either because the husband is insecure and overbearing on his wife, leading to abuse etc, but more commonly because he is a pushover who the wife can boss around, which means internally she will never respect him. Strike a balance

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OK - i married a girl from india, I am from the UK, about 2 months ago and she is still over in india. However, I've heard lots and lots of stories about girls from india comming over to the UK / CANADA / USA whatever and causing problems and in many cases divorcing their partner.

for example, i just learnt that somone i know married a girl from india. She came and lived here for 6 months before telling her husband that she wanted to return home and she demanded that he take her back to india himself. Once they reached india she phoned the punjabi police, made an allegation of mistreat and abuse, and had her husband arrested, she also had his relatives in india also arrested after claiming they had also abused her.

this story is on top of the dozens of other ones i have heard in recent weeks. i don't know, maybe people are just trying to scare me but I am worried. I believe that i have found a nice girl, but all those who have been played probably thought the same thing.

so does anyone have any advice, any suggestions about how to play this.... should i start being strict with her (not sure how i can do this over the phone) and give the impression i will take no crap from anyone or what....

Wow, the quote in bold is funny.

No you should not be strict with her, humans are equal. Men have no rights over women, but she should probably be Strict with you and maybe kick some sense into your sexist self.

Husbands who treat their wives as unequals dont get a pat on the back by god we can all be sure of that.

I've heard alot of stories about guys from England, how they go clubbing and touch up and sleep with girls (Singhs very much included), and stories of amritdharis who drink and also go to clubs.

So maybe when I marry one from here I should be strict with him and make sure he knows whos boss.

See how this works?

Now understand gurbani and how it says we should All be the lowest of the low (most humble). How is being strict with someone being lowest of the low, you are merely trying to show your manmat authority, and who gives you this supposed authority? The black demon of Ego.

So when your wife comes, touch her feet and treat her like royalty (higher than yourself|) becuase god resides in her. If she treats you badly, respond to her with kindness and according to gurmat as gurbani tells us to becuase she is god teaching you a lesson.

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Guest Guest

Bhai ji,

Tension mat lo !

Once i met a jolly good chap from London at a wedding.

He was brought up in England and married a girl from Amritsar.

It made me wonder so i asked him frankly WHY, as i thought they were not compatible.

Guy honestly said that you can never really Trust a British born or brought up girl.

Even after getting married they would still meet up with other guys.

I said nowdays even Indian girls have boy friends so what you gonna do about it ?

He replied once you get married and bring her to U.K all she can do is call her old boy friend at the Most !

Mean while Do Your Thing and get a baby out of her within 9 months.

After that she won't get time i.e would be busy taking care of the baby no time to FOOL AROUND.

Hope this gives you something to think about.

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unfortunately i personally know of 2 people whom have had marriages to people in india and it didnt work out. This one person is a doctor, he has been married 3 times. His first 2 wives were from india. The first was a dentist, once she did her dentistry equivalent exams here she left him. The second left him to go back to india. The 3rd marriage is with someone from england and touchwood things are going ok so far. They make a good couple.

The 2nd person i know married somebody about half his age from india. They even have 2 kids. A few days after she got her permanent residency, she left him. She also made claims of abuse at one point. She doesnt even care about her own kids and only see's them once a week.

You've got married, and there are plenty of marriages from india that do work out. You have made the commitment so stick with it! theres no reason to think she isnt a nice girl. Ask maharaj for guidance and help and im sure ther marriage will be fine. All the best!

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