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Female Friend In Stress


bhujhangi
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sangat ji, from last few days my hindu female friend is in extreme stress. the problem is that she liked someone and had trust on him. unfortunately,that boy broke her trust. she was so broken now that she does not want to talk to anybody now. she cried sometimes as well. she does not give any response on calls and deleted her fb account. now the thing is that she treats me as her best friend and respects as elder brother. she told me now everything via e-mail wat had happend due to enormous pressure from me. none of her female friend knows about this. both of us are in different countries. so,now please advice me how to give her moral support and care in terms of gurmat way and as best friend/brother. in previous times as well,in sadness,she used to share her problems with me. help me with ur thoughts.

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The world has bigger problems than some girl crying over some boy. People are dying of starvation poverty, guru ji beadbi going on everywhere I'm not trying to be harsh but it's reality relationships shouldnt even happen before marriage and then Noone would have any problems of this kind. what is love everyone departs from this world, the only true love is with god.

Tell her arranged marriages are there for a reason tell her to respect her family... Just tell her to accept and move on and consentrate on whats best.

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Ask her permission, with some pressure if necessary, to tell one of her other caring female friends about what she's going through. This is preferably a friend who lives closer to her, but if it's a good friend farther away, fine as long as they can communicate.

She is vulnerable, unless you are gay or 85, this is generally not the time for a male friend to console her...don't you watch movies?

Also she needs to talk to another woman to get to the point of talking about the stupidity of men, or at least that man.

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Sometimes you got to learn the hard way.

She has not confided in her female friends because most likely she knows her friends will tell her that ahe shouldn't have gotten herself involved in this bakwaas relationship.

You talking to her is not going to help. She will only start to 'develop feelings' for you then were back to square one.

Just give her some advice once and let her get on with it.

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The world has bigger problems than some girl crying over some boy. People are dying of starvation poverty, guru ji beadbi going on everywhere I'm not trying to be harsh but it's reality relationships shouldnt even happen before marriage and then Noone would have any problems of this kind. what is love everyone departs from this world, the only true love is with god.

Tell her arranged marriages are there for a reason tell her to respect her family... Just tell her to accept and move on and consentrate on whats best.

brap that comment lol =P

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The world has bigger problems than some girl crying over some boy. People are dying of starvation poverty, guru ji beadbi going on everywhere I'm not trying to be harsh but it's reality relationships shouldnt even happen before marriage and then Noone would have any problems of this kind. what is love everyone departs from this world, the only true love is with god.

Tell her arranged marriages are there for a reason tell her to respect her family... Just tell her to accept and move on and consentrate on whats best.

copy paste that response to all these dimwits with "problems"..

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I was in in the sam boat as your female friend a few years ago. I wanted to be with someone so badly and was so heartbroken that he started going out with someone else that I cut off all my friends and associates and didn't want to keep living.

Then I started reading paath and read the instructions for us to do naam simran and started doing that. After a few weeks of amrit vela naam simran I was completely healed! I started to forget about the guy and later on couldn't even remember what he looked like properly! It was like a miracle. A few years on and my olnly love is god, guys have tried to start relationships with me over the years but I've sent them away, knowing nothing could ever truly fulfill this sinner more than the nasha and love of god and his will, the nasha of naam/truth is truly uncomparable.

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Look sangat ji, this problem is not with me. i am living my own gursikh jeevan. this particular hindu female friend expects moral support from me in her bad time.i already told she see me as best friend and regards as elder brother. should i explain her with logic and bring her into right path or should i say go to hell and don't bring these type of aashqi pange problems to me?

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Gurfateh jio

First of all...a gursikh never turns away from

A plea for help.

Secondly a gursikh is here to serve wahegurus creation regardless of background.

Its not pleasant that this bhenji has no one else to confide in and nor do we know the reasons behind her pains of not being able to tell others.the one person she has turned to shouldn't turn away either as this I feel would be wrong

However paaji, I think u need to be very careful about how you handle this one as kaljug may be testing you to see if u break....

I think as your sister, id advise you to encourage this bhenji to turn to waheguri for help...however that may be for her bring Hindu. If she has belief in guru Nanak dev jis teachings then maybe encourage her to read baani which will help her n give her strength.

Male n female friendships can turn difficult at such times as u do not want to get on a level where she or you may start to develop feelings for eChother. You can't solve her problems for her but only help her deal with them.

I think it would be a good idea for her to speak to s female family member or friend about this matter which will hopefully give her comfort too

As per Sikhi,baani has answers to everything so maybe you should put your concerns to maharaj and ask for a huksmnsmma to help you realise how u cam help this bhenji...and maybe just read a chaupai sAhib path a day with ardaas for maharaj to help this bhenji through a tough time may be an option

Gurfateh jio

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Your not helping her bhujanghi.

Believe it or not your actually making things worse for her.

Let her deal with it her self even if she has to learn the hard way by herself.

She will only start to 'fall' for you then she's back to square one.

Believe me she will get over it even if it takes a year. She will get over and she will realise that:

A) It wax plain stupid to get caught up in this in the first place.

B) It was even more stupid to dwell on this and loose sleep over some guy who has moved on.

Everyone makes mistakes and learns from it. Give her advice once and leave her alone to get on with before she gets attached to you, then your going to get caught up on this mess. Before you know it your both going in circles.

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