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Kind Of Sad, I Don'T Know Why


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hello all. I am a singh, and thought I had found a very good singhni.. I have never been attached to a girl in my entire life, this was the only one I ever had feelings for since I got such a good vibe. However, I have promised to myself since day one that I would not get too involved with a girl pre-marriage (as it almost always leads to kaam then sex).

I had a sit down talk with this girl, she told me she felt the same way about me. Ive known her for about one year. I told her I did as well just that I am busy in my life at the moment (university and family issues) and that a relationship should hold off until we were a bit more mature. She agreed. We kept in very close contact.

Fast forward to today (2 months later) out of the blue shes dating (and has a very physical relationship including having sex) with a forgein exchange student from Africa haha.. I don't know why it just feels bad.. nothing against the guy. This guy obviously has no Sikhi values or anything.. blows my mind how a singhni I thought I knew so well could do such a thing.

Just had to get this off my chest and maybe hear opinions how to get over it.... thanks

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Woah if this singhni is amritdhari and she is having sex before marriage she is in big trouble, that's a big sin committed and even if she aint amritdhari for a Sikh girl to do this before marriage is very wrong and any future husband she marries will find out that's a fact. You should know better not to fall into a trap where your going to have sex with a girl before marriage. I don't know whats wrong with youths these days relationships before marriage if they are to happen both families should know about it that's my beliefs anyway.

You have only known this girl for a year it's hardly a lifetime and plus these relationships are false, you do know that god has blessed everyone with someone you should wait for that blessing the traditional way and not let your heart rule you, leave that to waheguru. she can't be a family girl if she is doing things like that a true Sikh girl wouldn't do that. So you got to think about it like that you really want to be with a girl who has lost her purity as a Sikh woman? You should read Gurbani to help ease your mind. You do know there is enough going on in the world, much more extreame than relationship stress only the other day 3 Muslims died because of the riots think about how their families must feel?

If you are thinking of finding another girl, may I suggest you don't do anything of the kaam sort and if it was serious why not tell your families? Why keep it a secret? Are you doing this for fun?

I hope I didn't offend you just trying to make my point.

Have a good evening.

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^^^ No, appearance means nothing, it is not permanent, god lives in a state of Nothingness(the void in gurbani), this is our Real and Only appearence, the All the rest is an illusion of maya...

Many have shown themselves to be wolves in sheeps clothing, in Maha Kalyug(present day) even most who appear to be disciplined and holy are not, you'd better get used to it, this day and age is about the image society...

To the poster, don't worry, leave everything to god, even if he brings pain to you, keep loving and trusting him and one day you will achieve the supreme state which is the true bliss..

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Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

Can i ask how did you come to know ?

Don't think that the girl in question told you straight.

Frankly there is no other way to confirm, it all comes down to Who you choose to Trust !

Anyways Five vices are Very Strong and can attack Anyone Anytime.

Waheguru ji is our only Saviour.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

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Guest Unknown

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

Can i ask how did you come to know ?

Don't think that the girl in question told you straight.

Frankly there is no other way to confirm, it all comes down to Who you choose to Trust !

Anyways Five vices are Very Strong and can attack Anyone Anytime.

Waheguru ji is our only Saviour.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

Actually the girls friend told me. I think they planned it. She messaged me asking if I'd seen the new couple, then she told me to go look at her facebook and there were pictures of them hugging etc. Next the girl asked if I'd remain a virgin till marraige, I said yes. She said wow thats crazy I don't think anyone finds that attractive. I said it didn't bother me and that her friend was doing the same. She laughed and said her friend (the girl I was into) had sex with this man plenty of times

I don't really care anymore at all. I don't know why I did then. Gym and school took my mind off her now.

Shes like all the other women out there... I'll wait for a special one to come

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Actually the girls friend told me. I think they planned it. She messaged me asking if I'd seen the new couple, then she told me to go look at her facebook and there were pictures of them hugging etc. Next the girl asked if I'd remain a virgin till marraige, I said yes. She said wow thats crazy I don't think anyone finds that attractive. I said it didn't bother me and that her friend was doing the same. She laughed and said her friend (the girl I was into) had sex with this man plenty of times

I don't really care anymore at all. I don't know why I did then. Gym and school took my mind off her now.

Shes like all the other women out there... I'll wait for a special one to come

Absolute disgrace, this "Singhni" needs to be exposed....shes a fake and dont worry u will find someone!....i hate this, i keep find that all these religious girls majority who wear paghs who r the worst and sleep around because nobody suspects them and they know it!......this made me angry....

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Absolute disgrace, this "Singhni" needs to be exposed....shes a fake and dont worry u will find someone!....i hate this, i keep find that all these religious girls majority who wear paghs who r the worst and sleep around because nobody suspects them and they know it!......this made me angry....

no actually a lot of girls that wear "paghs" aren't the worst and dont sleep around!! stop judging because of this one girl who is, you are disrespecting a lot of other singhnia out there that deserve respect for wearing a "pagh" that lot of the men are giving up!

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  • 3 weeks later...
Guest Singhni

no actually a lot of girls that wear "paghs" aren't the worst and dont sleep around!! stop judging because of this one girl who is, you are disrespecting a lot of other singhnia out there that deserve respect for wearing a "pagh" that lot of the men are giving up!

Agreed. :D

This shows if one singhni does something we will all get blamed. :(

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The ones that fall into kaam are out there. But don't let this build a perception of all Dastar wearing Singhnia. If this was the case then all Dastar wearing Singhs would be labeled in the same way.

Don't get attached to any girl. Once you get married to a girl, treat her as your wife and love her like your wife. But whatever you do, don't get attached. Thats when you lose sense of Satguru. Attach yourself to the one who will carry you across the world ocean; Sri Waheguru ji Maharaj and NO ONE ELSE. Same goes for girls. Humans are full of mistakes. They will let you down (if attached to them), whether in life or at the end of their life, when they are not here no longer. Unless your spouse is a Gurmukh. Focus on simran, Gurbani, seva, and school or work (honest living).

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But don't let this build a perception of all Dastar wearing Singhnia. If this was the case then all Dastar wearing Singhs would be labeled in the same way.

Attachment to imagery is false, hence one caring about ones looks (wearing a dastar) is attachment. Guru Ji had rid himself of all Attachments, when one rids themselves of all identity then everything is simply God's hukam, we merge with God and he works through us, his eternal slaves of No image accept that they are Nothing in 100% surrender at the feet of truth.

If one wears a dastar now, it is simply hukam, if one walks out in nothing but a blanket, thats also God's hukam. If god commands one to shave their head bald, it will be done, every single action and movement is driven by God himself, there is no more sense of 'Me', it is God and the Truth seeker together.

So many wear the dastar and ruin it with their ego and sense of pride, this age is becoming darker and more attached and deluded by imagery.

If one can wear it and not think about it, and their external appearance, then fine- because the Entire Aim of Sikhi and Gurbani is the Silencing of the mind. It is only when one takes serious steps towards doing this that one actually physically begins to realise God/ Truth. Until then we are simply procrastinating, digger ourselves deeper into the false imagery and maya sh**t of ego and pride, the sense that I am doing this and that- Noones doing anything, we're just puppets played by the puppetmaster.

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If one wears a dastar now, it is simply hukam, if one walks out in nothing but a blanket, thats also God's hukam. If god commands one to shave their head bald, it will be done, every single action and movement is driven by God himself, there is no more sense of 'Me', it is God and the Truth seeker together.

As to what i understand of Satguru's Bani, it is not what we do or don't, but about following Satguru's Hukam. Satguru's Hukam would never go against Sri Waheguru ji Maharaj Hukam. So Sri Waheguru ji Maharaj Hukam would never be shave the head bald to anyone. In the above i think you used the terms God's Hukam to describe how Akal Purakh has created his play (the creation). There is no doubt that God does everything, but his Hukam is different to his creation. The creation is under his control (control and Hukam are not the same thing),but does he need to give a Hukam to his creation? I think the term Hukam gets used here because we don't understand Akal Purakhs play so we just classify everything as Hukam. When a puppet master pulls the string of his puppets does he really have to give an order (Hukam) to the puppet? Does the puppet master have to think what order (Hukam) to give out to the puppet? Sri Waheguru ji Maharaj does not need to issue a command to control his creation. He controls as he wishes, without any desires, thought process, or anything (even the word control is wrong here because Sri Waheguru ji Maharaj doesn't need to control anything. Best words here would be.....as is). Sri Waheguru ji Maharaj Hukam is very hard to understand and we can't refer to these manmat practices as Hukams. These manmat practices like shaving your head bald are part of the play, but can never be Hukams. A Hukam is something like Satguru ji has given us, which came from Sri Waheguru ji Maharaj.

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  • 2 months later...
Guest dataSingh

Some girls can be very stupid ! ofcourse I am not saying all of them , but some of them are really irritating and always like to be "the weak , take care of me" kindof thing .

Sikh girls eloping with muslim men ( of for any men for that matter ) and now this amritdhari girl having relationships with this guy ..

I have a theory for this ::

Those girls who are usually confined to 4 walls or are discouraged from talking or flirting with men are more prone to eloping or sudden behavior changes . The reason being that their sexuality and their desires are suppressed by our traditional society .

From a very early age , the girl is made to feel that she is not as superior ( ?) as a boy and that for her to be moral she shouldn't even think of other men . This is absurd . Such a natural instinct as attractions towards opposite sex , when confined usually does more bad than good .

Most eloped sikh girls who were daughters of our family friends eloped , not because they were regularly going out with guys , but because they usually were confined to 4 walls and when they got opportunity as college freedom , their desires gushed out and then you have things like girls eloping , having sex before marriage and what not !

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  • 2 months later...

Damn, that is deep. Well I guess it is over for you 2, move on she didn't really feel that way. Loads of girls in uni feel kind of insecure and lonely so they say things to hold guys on the hook on the side, so you were plan b the side dish. Guess she couldn't wait and this other guy and the girl were on a different wave length from you.

You seem like some into sikhi find someone who feels the same way. What I will say is forget girls concentrate on your studies zone out of silly people, go train, go gym, work - gain some work experience. Don't waste time with girls enjoy your life, she might be shallow but your deep so be the great guy you can be and when you have a job, working and money a secure stable guy loads of girls will run your way, you are young enjoy working out, reading books, doing art, listening to music, body building, take some cooking, ace your exams get into the best companies or run the best business you can. Keep on track with your career.

Loads of girls like that are waste, just fall for that fail uni or don't do well just do whatever they want. You two were not meant to be, so brush it off, forget the scars and keep on. This is kaljug, lies are truth and truth is lie. You get janam in the house of guru nanak after 100 life times, be proud of yourself and build yourself upwards. Go gurdwara do your paath, pray to mahraj, learn gurbani off by heart, learn kirtan, learn gatka. So much to do in the short time we have in life.

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