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Disrespect To Turban At Gurdwara Matrimonials From Sikh Females


Guru_Da_Chella
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is there too much hate towards sikh turban in gurdwara matrimonials?  

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  1. 1. is there too much hate towards sikh turban from sikh females in gurdwara matrimonials?

    • yes
    • no
    • possibly
    • I do not know anything about gurdwara matrimonials


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I guess then why not have a small protest or something at the local gurdwaras that only amritdharis should be allowed to be part of the matrimonial service. It might close down for a few months (LOL) but then amritdharis will also start to use it.

Right now many amritdharis I know don't need the service as they have their 'sikh societies' to meet others and so many are marrying through that circle (right or wrong is irrelevant in this topic).

Please keep your laughable suggestions to yourself.

Matrimonial showing disrespect to the Sikhs' appearance and turbans

should be banned from Gurdwaras.

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If the girl has postive experiences of her Dad and Brother wearing turbans then she's more likely to be attracted to a boy who has a turban. If her Dad and Brothers are monay, then she's highly likely to be attaracted to a monay boy. If here Dad and Brother wear turbans, but are plonkers, then she'll probably not want to marry a boy who wears a turban.

The issue is deeper than the girls vanity, some of it may be based on a lame collective portrayal of the modern male Sikh image by modern male Sikhs themselves. Saying that, I know a few girls from complete non-Gursikh backgrounds who married Singhs because they admired the inner and outher qualities of the Sikh roop.

I agree with you on this. If the girl has bern around a lot of turban wearing men and guys she will have a different perspective than a girl who hasnt been around them. I will give u my example. For 10 years of my life i lived in a only white community and the only sardars there were my dad who wore a turban and my younger brother who wore a patka. I was about 16 till we were there and I had told myself I would only marry a mona because I was exposed to guys my age wearing paghs. Dad doesnt count! So we moved to Seattle which has a good amount of Punjabi community. And i would have thought there would be some guys my age wearings turbans but no. Most actually probably like 80% were monay and the others were either young and wore patkas or wore turbans like a maniac. So still i thought no way i will only marry a mona. So we went back to India for the first time in India at the age of 18 and I was so suprised at the guys wearing turbans. I know its more like a fashion trend but still they are wearing turbans. I was amazed how good a guy can look in a turban if its tied properly. And from then on my mind slowly started changing about marrying a mona over a turban guy. As we went back home in the next couple yrs i got even more determined that i would only marry a guy that wears a turban and thats what i did. A guy looks totally different in a turban than one as a mOna.

So basically it all depends on how much and what kind exposure one experienced in that particular category.

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I guess then why not have a small protest or something at the local gurdwaras that only amritdharis should be allowed to be part of the matrimonial service. It might close down for a few months (LOL) but then amritdharis will also start to use it.

Right now many amritdharis I know don't need the service as they have their 'sikh societies' to meet others and so many are marrying through that circle (right or wrong is irrelevant in this topic).

yes why not? I dont find it amusing. To be honest it time to take shock value actions as the polite approach, people are taking the mick out of the whole service. If people want to marry out of Sikhi, honestly good luck to them. Waheguru knew they had the strength to become Sikhs but due to their own actions, they leave. Cool, we can do without fake 'Sikhs' anyway, theres too many already.

Time for shock tactics...

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I agree with you on this. If the girl has bern around a lot of turban wearing men and guys she will have a different perspective than a girl who hasnt been around them. I will give u my example. For 10 years of my life i lived in a only white community and the only sardars there were my dad who wore a turban and my younger brother who wore a patka. I was about 16 till we were there and I had told myself I would only marry a mona because I was exposed to guys my age wearing paghs. Dad doesnt count! So we moved to Seattle which has a good amount of Punjabi community. And i would have thought there would be some guys my age wearings turbans but no. Most actually probably like 80% were monay and the others were either young and wore patkas or wore turbans like a maniac. So still i thought no way i will only marry a mona. So we went back to India for the first time in India at the age of 18 and I was so suprised at the guys wearing turbans. I know its more like a fashion trend but still they are wearing turbans. I was amazed how good a guy can look in a turban if its tied properly. And from then on my mind slowly started changing about marrying a mona over a turban guy. As we went back home in the next couple yrs i got even more determined that i would only marry a guy that wears a turban and thats what i did. A guy looks totally different in a turban than one as a mOna.

So basically it all depends on how much and what kind exposure one experienced in that particular category.

This is a very interesting story. Especially how you described going to India and for the first time seeing turbans in a fashionable light.

Most young men who wear turbans in Punjab trim their beards. But they tie VERY fashionable turbans!!

In the west, young men who wear turbans hardly seem to put any effort into tying them. They don't tie them right. Their turbans are not very impressive looking or fashionable.

I wonder if it might make a difference if guys in the west started wearing good looking pags.

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You guys are missing the point.

What will eliminating the "prefer clean shaven" option from gurdwara matrimonials accomplish?

either:

1. No girls will be allowed to explicitly state their preference, but it won't matter because as soon as they see the guy is a pag wala, the talks will grind to a halt

2. Girls who are mostly or exclusively interested in clean shaven guys will stop using the matrimonial service. Then there will be like a half dozen people left using it and it'll be a complete joke.

In any case, the fundamental problem is left unaddressed:

How do we reverse this disturbing trend where the dhari and kesh have become extremely stigmatized in our community?

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You guys are missing the point.

What will eliminating the "prefer clean shaven" option from gurdwara matrimonials accomplish?

either:

1. No girls will be allowed to explicitly state their preference, but it won't matter because as soon as they see the guy is a pag wala, the talks will grind to a halt

2. Girls who are mostly or exclusively interested in clean shaven guys will stop using the matrimonial service. Then there will be like a half dozen people left using it and it'll be a complete joke.

In any case, the fundamental problem is left unaddressed:

How do we reverse this disturbing trend where the dhari and kesh have become extremely stigmatized in our community?

It is you who is missing the point.

Why should Gurdwara matrimonials be used by the girls and their families

to shamelessly and publically show their shameless preference for " clean shaven" sirgums.

There are heaps of other methods for these shameless people to get their shameless preferences.

THE MATRIMONIAL SERVICE IN GURDWARAS SHOULD ONLY BE FOR KESHDHARI TURBANNED SIKHS.

Please open another thread to discuss for your so called "fundamental problem."

I don't understand why some people want to over dramatize an issue by making statements

like " where the dhari and kesh have become extremely stigmatized in our community."

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It is you who is missing the point.

Why should Gurdwara matrimonials be used by the girls and their families

to shamelessly and publically show their shameless preference for " clean shaven" sirgums.

There are heaps of other methods for these shameless people to get their shameless preferences.

THE MATRIMONIAL SERVICE IN GURDWARAS SHOULD ONLY BE FOR KESHDHARI TURBANNED SIKHS.

Please open another thread to discuss for your so called "fundamental problem."

I don't understand why some people want to over dramatize an issue by making statements

like " where the dhari and kesh have become extremely stigmatized in our community."

I agree with you that it's a shameful thing, but what what will restricting the matrimonial service to keshdhari turbanned sikhs accomplish?

As I pointed out earlier, it would become a joke: there would be like 7 people registered

Doing what you suggest would put an end to the shameless public display of clean shaven preference in one specific matrimonial service. But will it do anything to address the root of the problem? No.

This issue is not being over dramatized by me or anyone else. If you don't think there's a huge stigma attached to keeping your kesh and dhari in our community, then you've been living in a cave.

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I agree with you that it's a shameful thing, but what what will restricting the matrimonial service to keshdhari turbanned sikhs accomplish?

As I pointed out earlier, it would become a joke: there would be like 7 people registered

Doing what you suggest would put an end to the shameless public display of clean shaven preference in one specific matrimonial service. But will it do anything to address the root of the problem? No.

This issue is not being over dramatized by me or anyone else. If you don't think there's a huge stigma attached to keeping your kesh and dhari in our community, then you've been living in a cave.

So you want the shamefulness to continue to get more low quality, anti Panthic matrimonials

to increase the numbers of these advertisements at our Gurdwaras. No thank you.

As for your other over dramatized observation, I thought of this today,

WE ARE THE SINGHS, WE ARE THE KINGS.

WE ARE THE SINGHS WHO ARE PROUD OF OUR CROWNS.

WE DON'T CARE LESS FOR THE DRAMA QUEENS,

WHO FROWN AT OUR CROWNS.

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I'll try and sound more serious next time but I wasn't joking I was serious.

Ban non keshdharis from the matrimonial service. You shouldn't be allowed to come to the Gurdwara and request to meet clean shaven people.

But at the same time as someone mentioned above you have the separate problem continuing that a lot of people are moving away from sikhi and that's something that needs to be worked on as well.

I think men in turbans always look good but like some mona men they don't care for their appearance generally and that is obviously not helpful but you should have enough love for your religion to want to a turbaned sikh over a mona anyday

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What will eliminating the "prefer clean shaven" option from gurdwara matrimonials accomplish?

either:

1. No girls will be allowed to explicitly state their preference, but it won't matter because as soon as they see the guy is a pag wala, the talks will grind to a halt

2. Girls who are mostly or exclusively interested in clean shaven guys will stop using the matrimonial service. Then there will be like a half dozen people left using it and it'll be a complete joke.

Right firstly, I think girls should be able to use the gurdwara matrimonial services if they have neutral thinking, in that they are ok with non-turbanned guys as long as they are fine with turbanned guys as well.

Secondly, if they don't like turbanned guys, then they should be told to go elsewhere as it amounts to discrimination and a behaviour not suitable in a gurdwara.

Lastly, being told this, some girls will actually think twice. The problem is, many of the girls are coconuts (in the USA you have ABCDs). If they are made to feel that its a really bad and discriminatory thing to look at turbans in a bad way, then it will help them gain respect for the turban.

The problem is, no one is stimulating the females brains, and helping them with etiquette.

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