Disrespect To Turban At Gurdwara Matrimonials From Sikh Females

[singh135]

We all know the problems. We need solutions. We need to kick out the Gurdwara Committee members who have no love for Sikhi.

How do the youth do that?

[genie]

Gursikh men should be for gursikh females only and vice versa so whats the problem? if a sikh woman who isnt dastaar wearing / gursikh / keshdhari and wants the same in a partner i dont see the problem that way too. If a family or a guy is so concerned that majority of western born Sikh females do not want a turban wearing guy for a marriage partner then find one from aboard? (ie india).

The love and respect for the turban and beard must start from the home...and first a guy needs to love his turban and beard instead of feeling inferior or superior / oppressor to others who arent the same......he must accept his condition as a slave of the waheguru and guru ji's teachings and not to a woman or earthly person. Also females need to be taught the love for turban and beard as they are a sign of deep devotion to the Sikh faith which has to gain respect and brownie points.

Too often females are put off because they see guys in beards and turbans acting like clowns or morons. If a guy doesnt respect his own religious dastaar and dhari and takes it in places like clubs, pubs,etc then dont expect anyone else to.

[POODNA]

A 'Sikh' without kesh is not Sikh. Guru Gobind Singh Ji is explicitly clear about this. 'Rehat bina na Sikh kahave' - Guru Gobind Singh Ji. Without rehat one is not Sikh. I find it absurd non-sikh's are using Sikh matrimonial websites to look for non-sikhs - while pretending to be Sikh all along. This is absurd!

if a sikh woman who isnt dastaar wearing / gursikh / keshdhari and wants the same in a partner i dont see the problem that way too. If a family or a guy is so concerned that majority of western born Sikh females do not want a turban wearing guy for a marriage partner then find one from aboard? (ie india).

The love and respect for the turban and beard must start from the home...and first a guy needs to love his turban and beard instead of feeling inferior or superior / oppressor to others who arent the same......he must accept his condition as a slave of the waheguru and guru ji's teachings and not to a woman or earthly person. Also females need to be taught the love for turban and beard as they are a sign of deep devotion to the Sikh faith which has to gain respect and brownie points.

Too often females are put off because they see guys in beards and turbans acting like clowns or morons. If a guy doesnt respect his own religious dastaar and dhari and takes it in places like clubs, pubs,etc then dont expect anyone else to.

[sandhubobby]

sikh men with turbons who are alpha males have no problem attracting females its the once who arn't alpha males who scare girls away when they approach them

go to the gym work out

work on your confidence

work on your social skills

[Guru_Da_Chella]

I just saw someone start a similar thread here: http://www.sikhsangat.com/index.php?/topic/75142-girls-views-on-guys-with-turbans

I said I would upload a list of the problem, this list is from Singh Sabha Havelock Southall from 2011. You will see on the very first page that there are 2 women that are actually over 40 that dislike/hate turbans! You will see girls with mixed preferences, but bare in mind the ages of them as well. Obviously some of them may change their preferences as they get old and desperate, but look there are two 40 year olds that still hate turbans, so who knows?

I haven't heard anything and have not been actively involved recently, I wonder if anything has been sorted in this gurdwara and in others that partake in similar activities.

NOTE TO ADMIN: If there is any problem with the list just let me know so I can edit it, it is not a list of recent members, and contains no forenames!

Girls-Mailing List-Oct 11.pdf

[californiasardar1]

I just saw someone start a similar thread here: http://www.sikhsangat.com/index.php?/topic/75142-girls-views-on-guys-with-turbans

I said I would upload a list of the problem, this list is from Singh Sabha Havelock Southall from 2011. You will see on the very first page that there are 2 women that are actually over 40 that dislike/hate turbans! You will see girls with mixed preferences, but bare in mind the ages of them as well. Obviously some of them may change their preferences as they get old and desperate, but look there are two 40 year olds that still hate turbans, so who knows?

I haven't heard anything and have not been actively involved recently, I wonder if anything has been sorted in this gurdwara and in others that partake in similar activities.

NOTE TO ADMIN: If there is any problem with the list just let me know so I can edit it, it is not a list of recent members, and contains no forenames!

Interesting list

I guarantee that most of the girls who are listed as indifferent (i.e. have specified that they are open to guys who wear turbans as well as guys who don't wear turbans) in reality will only consider clean-shaven men.

It is quite common for parents to submit their daughters' profiles to matrimonial lists (or try to set up rishtas). These parents are often unaware of their daughters' preferences. They themselves don't see anything horribly wrong with wearing a turban, so they assume their daughters are ok with it.

I also bet that a good portion of the girls open to turban-wearing guys are in fact only open to "trim singhs"

So in all likelihood, the proportion of women on that list open to turbaned guys is greatly inflated.

[jkvlondon]

LOL every groom comes to the wedding wearing a turban with a kirpan so hard to prove.

A lot of women prefer non turbaned 'sikhs' these days but banning them from the anand karaj is perhaps a step too far as then they will say why is the other person allowed to get married in the Gurdwara who is amrit dhari but eats meat and then the meat debates start etc etc LOL.

I think the real issue is not that all sikhs are allowed to marry at the Gurdwara but that many girls prefer guys that are non turbaned. If girls prefered turban guys they would all be tying turbans.

I went to Singapore on my honeymoon and the Muslim friends I have there took me to Gurudwara Sahib there where it is specifically displayed that no NON-SIKH person can get married by Anand Karaj at that site , obviously people being manmatti they would find a way around by trying to take prakash to marriage hall by the committee at that time would refuse to allow it to happen . I don't know how things are now but I was impressed.

I propose that we stop our sisters looking at Bollywood guys images by replacing them with positive good looking turbanned Singh and Singhian as promoted on Singh and Singhni FB page , also gaining more media coverage e.g. like the Gap and GQ photos . There is a section of PARENTS who say they wouldn't want there daughters to go into an Amritdhari household as it would be too challenging restrictive of their daughters, and there is the old prejudices that a turbanned skh can't be a success in the world blah blah blah.

I also propose that all turbanned sikh men promise to honour their Gurskh counterparts and try to find and accept an amritdhari girl and to kill the whole daaj thing dead. Guru Gobind SIngh said his sons would never ask such a thing so prove it ...and gain the respect that is due a Gursikh

Don't wait for the girl to want a turban before tying it , tie it with confidence all of you then she will be swayed

[S1ngh]

Wow @ the list. Thanks for posting the list. Gave a bit of reality jolt to me.

[TurbanGuys]

you always blame girls that they being sikh girls they don't like sikh guys... but I wanna let you know Sikh guy is not for everyone... Only karmaa waali will get a king and be known as his princess.......

[ShasterSingh]

Why don't Sikh girls go to clubs then why even consider stepping into a gurdwara when they clealry state 'I don't want a Sikh turban guy' they might as well marry out of religion anyway I have never heard of matrimonials going on in gurdware doesn't even sound right, forgive me I live in the midlands!

Any Sikh girl who disrespects ain't a Sikh! End of you have to earn being a Sikh doesn't come with birth just becuse one is born into a Sikh family, like everything in life earn and the rewards are great also I see many people who are hypocrites and wear long khande chains and smoking what the hell!

You are right.

Sikhs aren't born, they're made.