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Married A Girl From India


superduper
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Veer Ji

I don't watch Bollywood. I read Gurbani. Waheguru resides in all. I see Waheguru in my partner. Is it wrong to love my Waheguru partner?

No not all. I just think sometimes young people get carried away with the bs that bollywood puts forward, especially the girls. Boy meets girl...they fall in love...they can't be together because of some drama....then, in the end, love conquers all. That kind of brainwashing makes girls run off with random guys, or guys mess up their lives for some silly girl. The saying ''love is blinding" holds truth.

Love for waheguru is on a different level completely. God bless you.

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Speaking of Bollywood Movies I have never watched them but I know quite a bit of what happens. Last year I lived in one of those real bollywood movies. I had people say so many things including her mother taking me to some head cop and wanting me to file charges against the girl for fraud. I just sat at this cops house and my mind just went dead. One day I am sure I will look back and say it was funny. Speaking of Girls leaving well I know people both girls or a boy get marrited just to please their parents and then leave their married spouse to the person they loved in their early age. These things happen in the western world. I am sure it happens in India. So give the girl a chance, Go see a counciller. Seek some advice how to deal with people. You might be lacking something in your knowledge on how to be in a relationship. It will be good for you in the long run. One thing that we punjabis lack is how to deal with downs in a relationship. Don't worry everything will be just fine.

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The best thing is to talk to your wife as much as possible. It is only through communication that you both will get closer. Also, another thing that many fraud brides do is that they don't want to have a baby until they become Pakkaa in their adopted country. Once they become Pakkaa the fraud bride runs away. So don't be afraid of start planning for a baby. If she is hesitant and says she wants to "wait" a few years (real reason until she becomes Pakkaa) then you should start having doubts in my opinion.

Also get involved with her family. Get to know her uncles and cousins. Talk to them over the phone as well so they know that you are not a bad guy. Usually what Fraud brides do is, before they runaway they like to start telling lies to their extended family/relatives of how abusive and bad guy her husband was. So if all the relatives know you and are familiar with you she atleast will not be able to claim you were a bad guy. That way tables will be turned on her and it will be her(and her family) who will be badnaam amongst the relatives as being frauds and dishonest.

I know of a girl from my relatives who was a fraud bride. She married an American NRI. This American NRI was a nice guy. He would speak to us and other relatives of his wife over the phone. Well like all fraud brides, the wife did not want a baby supposedly for some BS reasons(real reason was so she can runaway once she is Pakkaa). Well just before she ran away she began telling lies about her NRI American husband. Since everyone was already familiar with the American NRI, no one believed her. As a result everyone know that she and her mom-dad are a bunch of frauds.

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Superduper, It is really hard for any of us to actually tell you what to think or do. All we can share with you is our own experiences. Its up to you how you process that information.

Marrying a girl from Punjab can either be the greatest thing ever to happen to your life or....the worst thing. It is rarely something in between. For myself, it has proven to be the most positive thing ever. It completely changed my life for the better and made me such a better person. But.....I've got to be honest with here. When I went out there for marriage I knew full well how there is a complete breakdown of morals in rural Punjab and having seen first hand how some of the brides from India in my own extended family have behaved after gaining permanent residence. So...when I went out there I knew I had to play this game well. I knew what I was doing. Firstly....I made it clear that I did not want to marry the most attractive model types they tend to put in front of you when you go out there for marriage. Secondly, I said I preferred a girl from the khoo rather than the pend....because the girls that live on the khoo tend to be the smartest and hard working. They have to be. People can come there with no notice and being isolated, these girls have to know how to very quickly phatta phatt source food, prepare food and serve food. Now I'm not being sexist here. I'm merely pointing out how they are not generally lazy like the people that live in the actual pend. Thirdly, when I made the provisional choice I started asking drivers etc from her village and surrounding villages about her character. These people tend to know everything about everybody. The feedback was extremely positive. Then, and only then, did I give my final 'yes'. (now...I hold my hand up and admit, if it wre the other way 'round and she was doing a background check on me....the results would not have been too good at all) But.....everything happens for a reason. My wife changed this southall innit geezer into a good family man that doesn't drink or stay out.

You just have to hope for the best my friend but because you seek advice my advice for you is this : Speak to drivers etc from her village and surrounding villages and kasbahs. Ask them if there was ever any talk of her having 'friendship' with any particular boy. If she did.....then I can guarantee that both she and he are working in collusion with a plan. The plan being for her to divorce you once she gets citizenship and bring him over. p.s......the bad girls from Punjab don't care less whether or not they have a baby with their husband here. Kids, to them, are mere tools in gaining good divorce settlements. If they have this evil plan, having a kid with you won't tie her to you.

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Getting married in India is infinitely more challenging than getting married in the West despite any contrary opinions. Girls of loose or questionable morals in the West conduct themselves pretty much in the open and is common knowledge, as opposed to girls in Punjab showing a face of decency in public but privately a different story all together.

There are a couple of things I can recommend when attempting to get married in Punjab:

1) Make sure that you have relatives that you can trust, a very difficult task nowadays, people always have an ulterior motive for their actions.

2) The younger the girl the better the chances of them not having any previous history, or "friendships", yes note the "s"!!

3) Conduct some independent investigations into the character of not only the girl but her family, use any links you can. The character of both the mother and father and siblings can be used as a partial indicator.

4) Girls in Punjab are becoming lazier by the day, much like the guys, make sure you don't use educational credentials they hold as an indicator of hard work or effort, everything can be bought in India, including educational qualifications.

5) Try to find out whether the family that the girl belongs to is looking to specifically get married to a guy from the West, not a good indicator.

6) If possible look for girls with little to no family/friends abroad, less scope for any problems with eloping or interference/disruptive influence

7) Marry a total Pindu with no scope of learning any English or new skills!!! OK, maybe going overboard but avoid marrying a girl who is educated or working at the same level as you, make sure they are a few pegs down the food chain.

As for the Superduper, seeing as your already married, you could confide with family or friends who can mediate between both families. Also can you elaborate on exactly what is suspicious with her behaviour and why you think something is not right? It's important you share this information before anyone including me can really give you any sensible and meaningful advice, either by posting on here or sending me a personal message. I certainly don't endorse the advice of talking to her if you already suspect her, sorry to say this but women especially from Punjab are very shrewd and clever, keep quiet and don't give her anything on your personality or state of mind that she could use against you.

I want to help you brother but need this extra information.

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Getting married in India is infinitely more challenging than getting married in the West despite any contrary opinions. Girls of loose or questionable morals in the West conduct themselves pretty much in the open and is common knowledge, as opposed to girls in Punjab showing a face of decency in public but privately a different story all together.

There are a couple of things I can recommend when attempting to get married in Punjab:

1) Make sure that you have relatives that you can trust, a very difficult task nowadays, people always have an ulterior motive for their actions.

2) The younger the girl the better the chances of them not having any previous history, or "friendships", yes note the "s"!!

3) Conduct some independent investigations into the character of not only the girl but her family, use any links you can. The character of both the mother and father and siblings can be used as a partial indicator.

4) Girls in Punjab are becoming lazier by the day, much like the guys, make sure you don't use educational credentials they hold as an indicator of hard work or effort, everything can be bought in India, including educational qualifications.

5) Try to find out whether the family that the girl belongs to is looking to specifically get married to a guy from the West, not a good indicator.

6) If possible look for girls with little to no family/friends abroad, less scope for any problems with eloping or interference/disruptive influence

7) Marry a total Pindu with no scope of learning any English or new skills!!! OK, maybe going overboard but avoid marrying a girl who is educated or working at the same level as you, make sure they are a few pegs down the food chain.

As for the Superduper, seeing as your already married, you could confide with family or friends who can mediate between both families. Also can you elaborate on exactly what is suspicious with her behaviour and why you think something is not right? It's important you share this information before anyone including me can really give you any sensible and meaningful advice, either by posting on here or sending me a personal message. I certainly don't endorse the advice of talking to her if you already suspect her, sorry to say this but women especially from Punjab are very shrewd and clever, keep quiet and don't give her anything on your personality or state of mind that she could use against you.

I want to help you brother but need this extra information.

Malwai brother, I agree with everything you wrote 100%! This is the best post on this thread so far!

1.relatives in India are full of ulterior motives. As you said, the relative themselves have to be trustworthy.

2. True, the younger the girl the less Shataan she will be. She will be more innocent/masoom as she has not seen so much of the world.

3. BOTH mother and father's reputation should be investigated. Sometimes, many people marry the girl based on the father's good reputation but if the mother is a real dodgy/shataan character in the family and if the girl takes after the mother then the NRI boy will be in trouble.

4. The worst thing is when NRI boys look at the "education" of the girl. Even if she is a Phd her Indian education will hardly be recognized in the west. So education should be not even be a factor when finding a girl in India in my opinion. Real qualities of the girl that should be looked at is she homely, modest, chaste or has Sharam. These are the real Shingaars of a Punjabi girl.

6. Another good point. Unfortunately, you can hardly find a girl in most areas of Punjab who does not have relatives in the west.

7. I think this point was one of the truest and best points. No one can better elaborate than what you have wrote.

And another point is to all the brothers here, do not marry a girl from the cities! only girls from the Pends are good and that too who fit all the 7 points made by Malwai. A survey conducted in India a few years ago shows that 75% of girls from the cities are not even virgin during the marriage night. Besides this, they cannot cook or clean and they also become the biggest coconuts when they arrive in the west completely forgetting that they are even Indian. So if a city girl's rishtaa is being proposed run miles away.

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