Jump to content

Fix Up Singhs!


Sukhmanii
 Share

Recommended Posts

though it may be small consolation, it is written in our karams who we will marry. some get married earlier, some later. in my case, my marriage date was set at age 30. but then again, i had insanely high standards and was not well networked due to coming into sikhi at a much later age.

your best bet is to do seva in sikh organisations or at the gurdwara as parents etc will notice you, go to youth group meeting ssa meetings, and focus on building yourself up. when people focus too much on getting a partner they worry a lot, instead shift the focus to building up your own value. work out, take up martial arts, do some hobby you're interested in, and focus on your education. and career. i would suggest also focusing on bani b/c it will give you peace of mind, poise, and confidence. these kinds of qualities do radiate out to others. the opportunities will come to you, and you will be better positioned to take advantage of them. and btw, plenty of sikh girls who are not yet gursikh are interested in sardars, not the majority, but still, more than enough. it's just a matter of finding them and of building up your own confidence and cachet.

Thanks for your suggestions. I think you make a lot of great points here. Getting involved in the community is probably a good idea, and it's also very important to try to keep the faith and focus on bani and not lose sight of the most important things.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

someone also mentioned about having goals, something to go for in life other than just getting married / having a family. girls are generally interested in guys who have something that they are passionate about, something bigger than themselves that they can devote themselves too, whether it be sikhi, charity, a career, or whatever. so long as it's not just the girl. i've seen this kind of stuff play out a ton of times in other peoples lives and in my own. if you don't care that much about what she thinks of you, that shows that you've got something going on in life and she's not going to be ''rescuing'' your life.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is false.

If Hari Singh Nalwa were alive today, he'd put his picture up on shaadi.com and every morning he'd check his email and read "SH4820702 has declined your interest".

No one would take the time to listen/read about how he got his nickname or what the Pathans think of him. The conversation would end right after it was clear he was a sardar.

lol ahhaah i don't think he would need a dating site to find a girl

but rather then excepting what needs to change sikhs would rather make excuses and take the easy route

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i completely agree with californiasardar. its not only the party girls that are not with the turbaned sikhs but some prominent sikh girls are also with not only clean shaven guys but rather hindu guys.

i didn't want to point fingers at anybody but just to provide some examples for confused and floating, i will mention couple of names here. nothing personal against these sikh women but since they have earned name for themselves in the community i thought i wll start with them. i know other examples too but those people are not as active in community as these two.

First contender is Valarie kaur. Very active in interfaith dialogue and sikh issues.http://www.valariekaur.com/. Check out her website and you will see how much work she does. On the other hand if you check her facebook profile you can figure out that she is in relation with a Hindu guy called Sharat Raju. Guy looks ugly to me but thats what this gem of our religion likes. Instead of a Amritdhari Singh, she likes a clean shaven black south indian guy.

Another big contender for me is Neha Singh Gohil of Sikh coalition. She is western region director for Sikh coalition. Working great for Sikh rights in USA but married to a Hindu guy.

There are countless other examples I can give, but such girls who are born in Sikh families and stand up for Sikh rights but still end up with clean shaven guys, tells you its not the only typical party girls who have problem with turbaned Sikh boys.

I also know of a Sikh girl from a prominent Sikh family in the US. The parents are well respected, her brother(keshadari) is a lawyer working for Sikh rights and the girl goes off and marries a Muslim guy. It's not just untraditional Sikh girls who go clubbing that are the problem, personally I don't give a second thought of such girls, but apneean who come from traditional keshadhari families who have name and fame within the community that are preferring to marry out and that is really screwed up. Even if they don't marry out, they will almost always end up marrying a clean shaven Sikh boy.

It's not hard seeing matrimonial adds from Sikh girls belonging to traditional families where they ask for a guy should be traditional, respect family values, religious, spiritual and also clean shaven. So in other words, they want a clean shaven boy who has all the qualities of an Amritdari boy, yet is clean shaven! what the...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's not hard seeing matrimonial adds from Sikh girls belonging to traditional families where they ask for a guy should be traditional, respect family values, religious, spiritual and also clean shaven. So in other words, they want a clean shaven boy who has all the qualities of an Amritdari boy, yet is clean shaven! what the...

Its amusing and terribly strange at the same time.

someone also mentioned about having goals, something to go for in life other than just getting married / having a family. girls are generally interested in guys who have something that they are passionate about, something bigger than themselves that they can devote themselves too, whether it be sikhi, charity, a career, or whatever. so long as it's not just the girl. i've seen this kind of stuff play out a ton of times in other peoples lives and in my own. if you don't care that much about what she thinks of you, that shows that you've got something going on in life and she's not going to be ''rescuing'' your life.

Possibly the best bit of advice I've read on this site. First class and something for us to seriously mull over.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Get a grip and stop feeling sorry for yourselves!

You guys are radiating the 'glass is half empty' mentality. There are plenty of girls who want to marry a Sardar but most of you people would not give those girls a chance.

If there are girls who don't want to marry Sardar then let them be and let marry a clean shaven guy and bring a weak child into this world. 30 years from now they'll be posting 'my husband does'nt care for me and he beats me after drinking a crate of Stella'!

In the mean time stop being so shallow when choosing your partners! This goes out to especially those men who play the 'Sardars can't find girls Card'!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is false.

If Hari Singh Nalwa were alive today, he'd put his picture up on shaadi.com and every morning he'd check his email and read "SH4820702 has declined your interest".

No one would take the time to listen/read about how he got his nickname or what the Pathans think of him. The conversation would end right after it was clear he was a sardar.

Haha this is funny

But on serious side it is wrong.Do you think that cricketer monty Panesar ,despite his limited success had problem in finding a Girl.

Also Cricketer Harbhajan singh who keeps very thin beard but also wear patka is known as playboy of Indian cricket team.Infact once Yuvraj singh( clean shaven jat sikh cricketer) Described him as his love guru .Now Harbhajan is in Relationship with a UK born Hindu girl who is doing modeling ,rumours are their that they will marry next year.Any Girl Sikh,non sikh will love to be his wife irrespective whether he keeps beard or not

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Haha this is funny

But on serious side it is wrong.Do you think that cricketer monty Panesar ,despite his limited success had problem in finding a Girl.

Also Cricketer Harbhajan singh who keeps very thin beard but also wear patka is known as playboy of Indian cricket team.Infact once Yuvraj singh( clean shaven jat sikh cricketer) Described him as his love guru .Now Harbhajan is in Relationship with a UK born Hindu girl who is doing modeling ,rumours are their that they will marry next year.Any Girl Sikh,non sikh will love to be his wife irrespective whether he keeps beard or not

It doesn't really make sense to use famous people as examples. I think any reasonable person would agree that Monty Panesar would have a different experience if he were an average joe with the same appearance and personality than he does in real life where he is a cricketer with a certain level of fame.

So, unless we all have a realistic chance to become famous (or extraordinarily rich or prominent in some way), these examples don't mean much.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It doesn't really make sense to use famous people as examples. I think any reasonable person would agree that Monty Panesar would have a different experience if he were an average joe with the same appearance and personality than he does in real life where he is a cricketer with a certain level of fame.

So, unless we all have a realistic chance to become famous (or extraordinarily rich or prominent in some way), these examples don't mean much.

You are 100% right here.Not all sardars can be celebrities ,I was just replying to your hilarous post that Hari singh Nawa's profile would also be rejected .

I also think this problem is a statistical problem specially in UK,North america men are becoming religious and keeping their hair while Girls are becoming westernised and liberal so it will be best interest of community if Singhs their start marrying any girl irrespective of religion with pre condition that the family will be raised as sikhs instead of dreaming that some Born sikh girl is waiting for them

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share


  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt


  • Topics

  • Posts

    • yeh it's true, we shouldn't be lazy and need to learn jhatka shikaar. It doesn't help some of grew up in surrounding areas like Slough and Southall where everyone thought it was super bad for amrit dharis to eat meat, and they were following Sant babas and jathas, and instead the Singhs should have been normalising jhatka just like the recent world war soldiers did. We are trying to rectifiy this and khalsa should learn jhatka.  But I am just writing about bhog for those that are still learning rehit. As I explained, there are all these negative influences in the panth that talk against rehit, but this shouldn't deter us from taking khanda pahul, no matter what level of rehit we are!
    • How is it going to help? The link is of a Sikh hunter. Fine, but what good does that do the lazy Sikh who ate khulla maas in a restaurant? By the way, for the OP, yes, it's against rehit to eat khulla maas.
    • Yeah, Sikhs should do bhog of food they eat. But the point of bhog is to only do bhog of food which is fit to be presented to Maharaj. It's not maryada to do bhog of khulla maas and pretend it's OK to eat. It's not. Come on, bro, you should know better than to bring this Sakhi into it. Is this Sikh in the restaurant accompanied by Guru Gobind Singh ji? Is he fighting a dharam yudh? Or is he merely filling his belly with the nearest restaurant?  Please don't make a mockery of our puratan Singhs' sacrifices by comparing them to lazy Sikhs who eat khulla maas.
    • Seriously?? The Dhadi is trying to be cute. For those who didn't get it, he said: "Some say Maharaj killed bakras (goats). Some say he cut the heads of the Panj Piyaras. The truth is that they weren't goats. It was she-goats (ਬਕਰੀਆਂ). He jhatka'd she-goats. Not he-goats." Wow. This is possibly the stupidest thing I've ever heard in relation to Sikhi.
    • Instead of a 9 inch or larger kirpan, take a smaller kirpan and put it (without gatra) inside your smaller turban and tie the turban tightly. This keeps a kirpan on your person without interfering with the massage or alarming the masseuse. I'm not talking about a trinket but rather an actual small kirpan that fits in a sheath (you'll have to search to find one). As for ahem, "problems", you could get a male masseuse. I don't know where you are, but in most places there are professional masseuses who actually know what they are doing and can really relieve your muscle pains.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use