Why Do We Do An Engagement Ardas?

[Lotus_Flower_]

Gurfateh!

With Maharaj's kirpa i am getting engaged in a few weeks and needed some advice.

why is it important to do an engagement ardas? what is the history behind it etc.i just want to understand why an anand karaj cannot just happend once 2 people decide they want to get married.

furthermore i understand that the girls parents go to the guys house and do some kind of kurmai and then they guy comes to the girls house and further things are done.

i know this is not an amritdhari thing to do but most amritdharis compensate by doing a kirtan darbar at both houses. is that even required?

so what exactly are the basic requirments for an engagement?

very confused person so would appreciate some help

thank you

[Daasakedaas]

Read this http://damdamitaksaal.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=80&Itemid=68&limitstart=20

or if that is too confusing then read this

http://www.sgpc.net/rehat_maryada/section_four_chap_eleven.html

[Tera]

VJKK VJKF...

For me and my Singhnee, pyaar had already been given between families when we all initially agreed to go ahead but we wanted to this to be approved/celebrated in front of Maharaj before the Anand Karaj (next year) - It all happening in front of Sri Guru Granth Sahib Jee Maharaj is what we'd class as the proper engagement.

We are both Amritdhari and so didn't want anything like the standard kurmai and chunni so we read through the Rehat regarding this and here is what we finally ended up doing.

We had a program at the Gurdwara attended by both sides - Asa dee Vaar Kirtan followed by Sukhmani Sahib Paath and then Katha and Kirtan. Started Asa Dee Vaar Kirtan at 7.30am and Sukhmani Sahib da Paath starting around 9.30am (although most sangat came for Sukhmani Sahib). Program finished after Kirtan and Katha at around 2.00pm I think it was.

During the program, straight after the Ardaas & Hukamnama (but before the Kirtan & Katha) the Kurmai Shabads were sung, after which a couple of members (male members as I was sat on the guys side) of the girls family came to me gifting me with Dastaar, Sri Sahib, Pyaar and Mita (something sweet - I told em no daate thing lol, but misharee would do so that's what I got). This was then repeated in which couple of members of my family (again, female members just as its easier as Singhni is on ladies side so my mum, grandma) went to Singhni gifting her with a suit, Dastaar, Sri Sahib, Pyaar and some Mita (she got ladoo - why didn't I think of that, not fair lol).

Seriously though, we all thought that Maharaj Kirpa Naal it went great. We invited a lot of sangat and it just seemed so peaceful and nice. It was all just very simple with no fuss or rush and think it showed equality on both sides.

Anyways, hope thats helped you. Oh and congratulations!