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What If Someone Does Not Want To Be Gristhi (Married)


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I believe Sant Ji's sons were born before Sant Ji got given Sevaa of Taksaal. After being given Jathedaari, they were fully committed to Panthic Seva.

I agree but that doesn't diminish the fact that the duties they had to perform for the Sikh panth had been given to Sant Ji by a higher force whether they knew it from the outset or not. As such they still agreed to marriage even at a time when maybe the extent of what they had to do as a Sikh was not clear to them.

What I'm trying to say is that Sant Ji had wisdom and foresight, and if they felt that marriage wasn't for them - even at a time when they weren't active in the Taksal - they could've easily refused.

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Obeying parents is not a sansari rituals. Im quite shocked at this quite frankly, to think that this is what young people think like these days. Obeying your parents and respecting them is your dharam. This is snatan dharam not ritual. All the Gurus obeyed and respected their parents no matter what.

Thanks chatanga!!

I just realized that I wrote this too. I did not mean it. I think I meant something else but definitely not this. I think my state of mind was just too upset when I posted this topic. Thanks everyone for help.

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+1 to that!

Gristi does not only mean marrying and having kids etc. In a broader sense, it means being a contributor to Society. Also, taking care of parents, especially as get old is a mahan seva!

After talking to a few Gursikhs I firmly believe that a married life is a must in Kaljug. It only makes things easier as it gives you goals to set both at a worldly level and at a spiritual level as well. Not to mention it keeps you occupied. There is a saying in Punjabi, khali man shaitaan da ghar hunda. Translation: an idle mind is the devil's workshop.

The concept in Sikhi is not to shun all worldly activities, that is sanatan thinking. The concept is clearly defined in Gurbani

hwQ pwau kir kwmu sBu cIqu inrMjn nwil ]213]

haathh paao kar kaam sabh cheeth nira(n)jan naal ||213||

With your hands and feet, do all your work, but let your consciousness remain with the Immaculate Lord. ||213||

Whether you get married and lead a gristi life or not, life will always present it's challenges. It is childish to think that if one is not married then the amount of problems will magically be reduced. They will still come, albeit in a different form. Every challenge is there to be faced and to overcome, this makes you as a person stronger and helps in the long run.

Thanks a lot

This is the most helpful reply I ever read.

Mind changing.

Close the topic.

No more need.

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One thought that has crossed my mind since participating in this topic is the situation regarding kaam in terms of being married and having a partner - NOT the other kind might I add.

Am I right in saying that Gurmat specifies that sex should only be a means of reproduction and NOT giving into your "kaamic" urges? Is this correct? If so, who but the greatest brahmgyanis and mahapursah are able to regulate their urges and output them in such a way?

Theoretically we are all supposed to follow this instruction but who actually does follow it to the letter? Obviously you can't go around surveying Gursikhs about this unless you want your head smashed in, but I'm curious to know if your average Gursikh couple who are trying to just get on with life and raise a family amongst a whole myriad of other life issues actually pay attention to this particular aspect of Gurmat.

One thought that crossed my mind is that wouldn't it better to kill the urge for sex completely (through Naam Simran / meditation) rather than indulge yourself in it's waters and then say "The reason I'm not affected by sexual urges is because...I....have sex". Surely that defeats the whole purpose of trying to reach a spiritual state whereby sexual urges do not affect the individual?

Is it like saying "The reason I'm not drawn to drink alcohol is because I drink a few glasses of wine a month"? I'm probably wrong aren't I?

Forgive me if I've spoken out of turn but its something I thought I should clarify. I can't ask anybody else!

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