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What If Someone Does Not Want To Be Gristhi (Married)


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Is it a right decision to not get married by someone who understands that his/her life will be spent working day and night just to take care of his family, buy house, paying mortgages and all that and very very less time to concentrate on what the actual purpose of this life.

Someone who has spent his/her 25 years forced following sansari rituals like gaining education, looking for work, obeying parents etc and then coming to a stage realizing that this will continue forever and will get worse after he/she get married. That is more sansari stuff, more bonds, more moh, more of everything worse they been through.

PLUS WITH A SURE CONFIDENCE THAT IT WILL

BE A CHEATING IF THEY GET MARRIED TO SOMEONE.

And then planning for living a life of true student of guru.

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I am older than you and not married. I will not marry til I feel grounded in the truth of all that is.

It is so easy to get caught up in marrying, kids, job, mortgage and pretty soon your whole life has passed and your left wondering where did the time ago. My advice would be to trust yourself, don't rule out marraige but don't blindly fall into marraige just because your parents/relatives think is the right move for you. Only you know you.

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isnt it hard for everyonee.. sometime i just think not to marry will be a easy way out but what is written in ur life by guru ji will happen, but wont it be better if u have extra sangat, husbandd/ wife doin amrit vela, nitnem ,sharing same value to find waheguru, n how each others will help each other to build their spritual level for example if im failing badly, startin to build up doubts abt life n sikhi, then sumtime ur partner understands u will direct u and vise versa, butt its really important that ur partner life goal is same as u or else like ma mom she wants amrit so badlyyy n keepin her rehit(she has taken choola dont knw if i spelled it right), doin sehaj path whereas my dad drink, eat meat and cut his hair, n don't listen to bani or thinkin amrit is not yet his goal..

sighhh watchin ma mom i dont think i want to spend ma lifeee like hers, im lucky that im already amrit dhari n not even botherd if i will find partner or not cause what matter is waheguru will give u what u deserves hunna i dont mind where i go as long as waheguru is there just embracing life as it goes, as we dont know if there is nx breathe or not, other matter guru ji will guide

bhul chuk maff

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It's a personal choice even though the Guru Sahibs encouraged Gristhi Jivan. I believe the Giani who is in charge of the seva of Dama Dami Takhsal is not married? correct me if I'm wrong, he concentrates on doing the Seva of Dhan Guru Gobind Singh Jis Shastars etc.

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If I was going to live in the dal I probably wouldn't get married. Then I would just follow kshatri(Warrior) dharm as opposed to grihzti dharm. Same with sadhu sant type dharm, many sadhu sant aren't married, and therefore don;t follow grihzti dharm and kshatri dharm, although some, especially in sikhi, do follow kshatri dharm as well.

Hmm if we had loads of children we could reintroduce the tradition of sending our first born sons to the dals to train to be Singhs, in which case a lot of first born sons may never be married?!

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I think about the many Singhs that are steeped in seva and devotion and they aren't married. But then I think that Sant Jarnail Singh Ji had a wife and a family. Then I wonder that if someone of that stature found it important to get married - considering the duties and responsibilities they had on their shoulders - they must've seen something of value in a gristhi life.

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I believe Sant Ji's sons were born before Sant Ji got given Sevaa of Taksaal. After being given Jathedaari, they were fully committed to Panthic Seva.

I agree but that doesn't diminish the fact that the duties they had to perform for the Sikh panth had been given to Sant Ji by a higher force whether they knew it from the outset or not. As such they still agreed to marriage even at a time when maybe the extent of what they had to do as a Sikh was not clear to them.

What I'm trying to say is that Sant Ji had wisdom and foresight, and if they felt that marriage wasn't for them - even at a time when they weren't active in the Taksal - they could've easily refused.

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Obeying parents is not a sansari rituals. Im quite shocked at this quite frankly, to think that this is what young people think like these days. Obeying your parents and respecting them is your dharam. This is snatan dharam not ritual. All the Gurus obeyed and respected their parents no matter what.

Thanks chatanga!!

I just realized that I wrote this too. I did not mean it. I think I meant something else but definitely not this. I think my state of mind was just too upset when I posted this topic. Thanks everyone for help.

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