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guptkuri

Wake Up, Boys!

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I see this has turned into those "blaming girls topics". This time, dastaar wearing singhnia are bad? How refreshing!

You guys are obviously oblivious to how hard it is for a singhni to wear a dastaar in western society. It requires strength and love for the saroop of Guru Gobing singh jee. Accusing some of these girls of wearing it for "show" is a hurtful statement. Unless they have outright told you that it is the sole reason for them wearing it.

I believe every amritdhari bibi should wear a Keski anyway. It boosts your confidence, gives you pride for who you represent and I personally believe makes the struggle easier. People don't pressure you to do things against Sikhi principles as they understand you are serious in your Sikhi. They leave you be and respect you for it.

To conclude, the overriding reason for amritdhari bibiya to wear a dastaar is because I get really happy when I see a singhnia somewhere, randomly :)

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Perhaps you didn't read the whole thread. It has clearly been mentioned many times that only SOME girls do this. It has also been very clearly mentioned that guys do this as well.

While the statement can be hurtful to some that does not change the fact that is it true in some cases.

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Guptkaur1 jeeo, very well said.

There is no doubt that keeping Sikhi saroop is harder for bibiyaan. Its also true that not all Bibiyaan or Singhs are the same. The message here is NOT to malign dastaar wearing Bibis, nor to blame Bibis for the sad state of the Panth. We are walking on a very thin thread. We want to encourage Bibis to wear dastaar, at the same time, we want to alert all young and naive Sikhs that all that glitters is not gold.

This should come as a wake up call to both Singhs and Kaurs who wear Gurujee's Bana. The topic is "Wake up boys", however the waking up needs to be done by both. If you wear Gurujee's Bana, whether you are Singh or Kaur, you have a certain responsibility. Blaming a particular gender for your own shortcomings (whether you are Singh or Kaur) is only an excuse.

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While the statement can be hurtful to some that does not change the fact that is it true in some cases.
True say. But in any case, my head bows down to those Singhs and Kaurs who are serious about their Sikhi and consider Gurujee's Bana a blessing, not a fashion statement.

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I find it a bit strange that Sikhs with a dastaar (male and female) are forced to behave themselves because they need a dastaar on their head to remind them to do good. I would think those morals or principles come from within.

Unless we're talking about some youngsters who are prone to mistakes or being lead astray then I would agree.

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The topic started off with the bibi saying that more bibian should were dastaars to boost confidence etc, by giving a dirty body clean and fancy clothing doesn't make it clean, if you have a soul who is still working on his sikhi and is still prone to mistakes then he or she should refrain from wearing the dastaar to protects it izzat.

Coming to my point, singnia that wear dastaara are pride of our panth but when someone who isn't ready for the dastaar and still wears it the negative effect is as high.

For women who feel discriminated, should think that they are responsible for the soorme of the panth but when the woman does wrong they are also responsible for a stain that the panth will find hard to wash

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This topic was not started to create gender wars but because I got tired of seeing topics created blaming girls. So I created this topic which was suppose to remind people the benefits of a Sikh girl wearing dastar and reminding them to start at home. Not yelling at random facts but start with your family first and helping them become better Sikhs.

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I find it a bit strange that Sikhs with a dastaar (male and female) are forced to behave themselves because they need a dastaar on their head to remind them to do good. I would think those morals or principles come from within.

Unless we're talking about some youngsters who are prone to mistakes or being lead astray then I would agree.

Its our morals that help us be good but for me at least more than be good, a dastar reminds me to make sure everything I do is within sikhi. For example when I am wearing a dastar I go out of my way to help people, even when I am in hurry. When I wasn't wearing dastar it was more like if I thought they really needed my help. With a dastar it was like if I could help I am gonna offer. I wanted to make sure I never did anything selfish where I made Sikhs look bad. Does that make sense? I was more self conscience about everything I did because I knew I was representing my Guru ji.

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Its our morals that help us be good but for me at least more than be good, a dastar reminds me to make sure everything I do is within sikhi. For example when I am wearing a dastar I go out of my way to help people, even when I am in hurry. When I wasn't wearing dastar it was more like if I thought they really needed my help. With a dastar it was like if I could help I am gonna offer. I wanted to make sure I never did anything selfish where I made Sikhs look bad. Does that make sense? I was more self conscience about everything I did because I knew I was representing my Guru ji.

I understand, sister.

I guess wearing a dastaar is a good starting point for someone feeling their way into Sikhi and trying their darndest to do the right thing at all times. I was also trying to make a point about goodness coming from within.

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I am struggling with this issue, I did take Amrit about two years ago, wear the 5ks etc, but I do not wear a dastaar. I do not cover my head either. I am not a youngster and none of the ladies in my age group wear a dastaar, the ladies I 'hang' out with the ladies in the Gurdwara who do the cooking and cleaning mostly. Many of them wake up in the early hours of the morning to do so. I have never seen any girl with dastaar ever doing that. Many of the elderly ladies sing kirtan amazingly, they don't wear a dastaar.

Personally, the inside of me is begging me to cover my head, and I do it at home most of the time, but outside, I just can't I feel and I know I look like a Nihang and it hurts and if I cover my head with a cloth, I feel I look like a Muslim lady. I feel the girls who wear a dastaar belong to a particular group of Sikhi and you know I have never fitted in with any group of Sikhs, The entry requirements are high, you have to be either born into it or marry into one I have accepted rejection, but it has made my relationship stronger with Guru Ji.

The elderly ladies are nice they don't have any territorial issues about belonging to a particular group. But having said that, they are well-known for 'gossip'. I am not that old enough to fit with them either. I still am searching for my 'sangat' very often it the concept of sharing food, with all castes, which is what 'langar' was set up for, is experienced outside the Gurdwara settings. I have had many great experiences of sharing simple food with other groups within the community.

I do feel it is important to cover your head for spiritual reasons, but socially, I have seen 'ego' issues with both genders who wear the full bana, and failed to see the reasoning why they behave they do, having the choice, how do I 'wear' compassion? and 'care' these are actions, if only they were clothes, then people all over the world would bow to SIkhs.

But we our ACTIONs we have the highest skewed gender ratios, more than any other religion we kill more girl foetuses than any other religion. Let us sort these things out as a matter of priority, rather than worry about our outside appearances.

Apologises if I have offended anyone.

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this topic is useless, girls blame boys, boys blame girls. Meanwhile the issue in question does not get resolved. Take responsibility for your own actions, don't judge!

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Gurukameet

Gurmukho, the only benti we could do is to please cover your head at all times. We are no one to ask you how to cover it, as its best to follow what your Panj Pyaare asked you to do. Just because other Bibis around you don't cover their head doesn't make it the right thing to do, does it? If you have not seen a dastar'dhari Singhnee getting up early and doing seva, well, I guess that is just a coincidence. Just like not all dastaar'dhari Singhs/Singhnees are bad, same way not all dastaar'dhari Singhs/Singhnees are good. One's Rehit is one's personal relationship and commitment to Guru Sahib, so lets not paint an entire appearance, group, Jathebandi, Rehit Maryada with the same brush just because a few who you happened to interact with didn't turn out to be a pleasant experience.

bhul chuk maaf

ps: This thread has gone beyond off-topic.

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