I Have Had Pre-Maritial Sex, Help!

[gurdssingh]

^^ As per Sikhi, a physical relationship between a couple should occur only after anand karaj. Period.

Ok - from non sikhi view - what makes sensec to have relations with someone you have known in hours and be expected to sleep with them or someone who know for months and mutually you wan to do it?

[gurdssingh]

I am sorry to add, evident from post on this site there seem to be a number of members on this site who not noly indulge but feel the need the to share their experiences on this site. So many people guys (may girls as they may alos), post about mas*****g, well that is also cheating as you must imagine somone who like or something else.

LETS JUST SAY THAT ISAKIN TO PRE-MARTIAL SEX AS YOU ARE IMAGINING YOURSELF WITH SOMEONE SO PLEASE STOP.

sikhI we only do it with our partner so stop doing these things concentrate on other activities.

[HDSH]

Ok - from non sikhi view - what makes sensec to have relations with someone you have known in hours and be expected to sleep with them or someone who know for months and mutually you wan to do it?

Payareo, this is a Sikh forum. Obviously we should be putting Sikhi view forth, especially to youngsters. It is never wise to look at such a sensitive and important topic from a non-sikh viewpoint. A Sikh should make every attempt to look at any and all topics/experiences in light of Sikh principles.

PS. Please do not go off topic

[Guest for]

I don't want to sound harsh here, but if your old enough to engage in sexual intercourse then your old enough to marry the girls whose purity you took...

Actions have consequences, one day that girl if she marries another guy he will find out.. Solution deal with the consequence and marry her...

You can't take someones purity that is absurd.

If someone falls due to kaam, thats their own fault, noone elses.

[Guest Guest]

kaam is one of the most stubborn of the five vices to overcome singh ji.

Do you wear a kashera singh ji ll sikh youth must get into habit of wearing kasheras.?

first of all you should wear a knee length kashera which should be white only with breaka and should be 2 and half yards waist width atleast. i presume you wear boxer shorts at present.

wear sarb loh ghatra walee kirpan, sarbloh kara, kangha,choti dastaar.

go pesh befoe guru roop panj pyare and take khandeh waleh amrit and receive naam the daat from them

tell the Guru roop panj pyareh what has happenedi.e i have indulged in sex before anad karaj which is against sikhi. take the girl along with you and encourage her to take amrit too. i suggest you take amrit fron the soho road birmingham gurdwara amrit parchaar smagam as the panj pyare there aer very helpful and jeewan wale.

[Mrkhalsa007]

Fateh, If i was in your shoes 1st: Go to your gurdwara and do a ardaas there with humility near or infront of the SGGSJ, 2nd Take amrit, 3rd, Go to a gurdwara in amritsar called Gurdwara San Sahib, Guru ji made a baak there that whoever mata deckes there all of there sins will finish (Long story short about the Gurdwara) Fateh!

[Guest Spiritkaur]

I know a guy who did weed, drank and had sex but as he got more into sikhi he stopped all that, took amrit and now hes a happily married amrithdari singh. His wife honestly accepts and respects him for who he is as he was honest with her right from the beginning about his past and that is what every sikh boy or girl should be with each other before they get married. Swagsingh you did make a mistake but the fact you have admitted it is a huge step in the right direction. Be honest with the girl and tell her how you feel (like you have on here) but most importantly go do ardaas and speak to guruji as only he has the right to judge you and i am sure he will forgive you. To control your mind from these lustful thoughts engross yourself in bani and naam, surround yourself with good sangat, go to the gurdwara, if you feel yourself getting weak speak to guruji and ask him to keep you strong. Well singh i wish you all the best and i hope everything works out for you and remember we all make mistakes but the important thing is that we learn from those mistakes to prevent ourselves from making that same mistake again. Goodluck and may guruji keep you strong on your path to sikhi. If i have said anything wrong then please forgive me ...vaheguru ji ka khalsa vaheguru ji ki fateh.

[Guest late_marriages_bad]

and there you have it, the failed experiment of marrying late in our community. It has literally caused the chaos we are in now, and has done more harm than good!

[Guest suhaag_dharam]

Ok - from non sikhi view - what makes sensec to have relations with someone you have known in hours and be expected to sleep with them or someone who know for months and mutually you wan to do it?

From cultural perspective, once partnership has suhaag night, that is when relations MUST start, otherwise there are some issues possibly to do with honour or respect or something; I am not the expert...

However, in puraatan times, when people and our Guru Sahibs got married young, sometimes the marriage was done at pre-teen age, but the bride didn't go to husband's home until perhaps 17 years old.

[innergear]

Don't suppressin the feelins make u in2 a crazy man? :)x x x can't u get married now?