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University And Weirdos


Guest GuptKaur
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Guest GuptKaur

Wow, there have been some brilliant responses, thank you so much. A lot of varied opinions... I feel much more encouraged and in a position not to care so much about it now.

Firstly, I don't just keep to myself and give anyone reason to act weird- I speak to them all the time and they know me pretty well. I've had Sikhi conversations with them when they've asked me about it andd I get on really well with one of them -I don't close myself off from them or give them reason to think I'm weird, or anything like that! They know me and they treat me as though I'm totally normal. Hence the reason I said, "I thought my flatmates were cool". They've given me awkward and shocked reactions to certain things, like that which I mentioned in my original post, but I thought nothing of it. But now I'm starting to see that people are very two faced, and a couple of my flatmates, when with these boys, use me as something to joke about and make fun of. That's obvious to me.

For the record, I DON'T live in a mixed flat - I live with all girls, but one girl in particularly always brings different boys back to the flat.

Just a different opinion:You should stand up for yourself and have a word with them and state (nicely) you feel you are being disrespected. Otherwise you may well be the butt of jokes for the rest of the year.

Also. Just because your lifestyle is different to theirs does not mean you have to come across as weird or an outsider. You still need to be able to have a laugh and relate to them regardless - ignore the above posts - it is not OK to be treated as an outcast - either work on improving your personality to relate better to people and be more fun to be around, or perhaps your flatmates are all generally nasty people ( unlikely if its more than 1 or 2 of them doing this ) .

I think this shows why it isn't always right for amritdhari singhnis to live alone, in mixed accomodation with boys. Puratan gursikhs would be shocked at the idea of a khalsa singhni being in such a situation in the first place.

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Guest GuptKaur

Also. Just because your lifestyle is different to theirs does not mean you have to come across as weird or an outsider. You still need to be able to have a laugh and relate to them regardless - ignore the above posts - it is not OK to be treated as an outcast - either work on improving your personality to relate better to people and be more fun to be around, or perhaps your flatmates are all generally nasty people ( unlikely if its more than 1 or 2 of them doing this )

I feel a little offended by this -_- I'm being made fun of so it must be due to my personality and my lack of ability to relate to them? I understand you're coming at it from a different perspective, but that's not the case at all dude- we have a laugh, we chat, I just don't go out with them because all the places they go involve partying and drinking. Thus, on freshers week, they all made a group of friends and while they still act nice to me, I'm not part of it. That's okay. But I don't make myself out to be an outsider or anything of the sort- and they don't usually treat me like one.

Well, that's what I thought, anyway. And granted, it's not all of my flat mates, just one of them and the masses of friends that she brings back to the flat.

Usually I smile at whoever comes in or introduce myself, but that guy that was running around shouting my name always ignores me when he sees me. Eyes glued to the floor as he walks past, as if he's trying not to look at me, even though he's in my own flat.

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Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

Invite Tyar-bar-tyar Singhs & Singhnis

dscf8921.jpg?w=1655&h=1157

to your place for Sukhmani Sahib paath and Cha-samose !

This will help uplift your spirits and neighbours will come to know that you aren't alone.

They would think twice before messing around.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

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wjkk wjkf,

Pehnji,

time you lay down the law.

make it clear you don;t want to be disturbed after a certain time.

You don't want people sleeping in common areas, (living room) etc

Don't act like your offended, or intimidated by them.

Bring Sangat round. Even though it may not be ideal place, but if you bought a few people round once in a while- they will know that your not a lone soldier.

If you amritdhari, wear your shastr with pride. Adore your room with shastr.

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Ask yourself; those who engage freely in lust with whoever, intoxicate themselves, eat corpses and do not even look after their bodies (Kesha di beadbi, etc), are they acting like animals or humans?

mmm, lets look closely at this.

lust : humans yes, animals , no. Humans are affected by lust. Animals have a natural cycle for reproduction that doesnt involve lust.

intoxications : humans yes, animals, no. i havent heard of any animals that get intoxicated.

eating corpses: humans yes, animals, yes.

dont look after thier bodies: humans yes and no, animals, yes, they have an instinct to clean themselves and dont get their fur cut for nothing.

so, really you are advising bhenji to act more like an animal, yes?

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Guest Naam Jap

Talking from experience of University and being a person in sikhi roop. It is always hard.

The whole path of Sikhi is tough because if you adopt the proper roop then there are going to be challenges as you will stand out.

Many people will say things to you in life, in all areas and all places. People always hold views, and are quick to judge a book by its cover.

Gurbani teaches us that this path is thinner than the thinnest hair and sharper than the sharpest sword. That is why we always make so many mistakes. All we can do is rember that these challenges will be faced in life. This is not just at universtiy but is happening to Sikhs all around.

However, many keep it inside and get really sad, It is good you have asked for support of the sangat.

Try to avoid this affecting your self esteem and making you think you are low or look bad with a dastar. This isn't true. Try to have self confidence, even though it may be hard.

If there is a gurdwara local to you, try go there as much as possible, even if there is lack of sangat, try to get guru jees darshan as much as possible. This should provide some comfort.

If there are any other sikh bibiya in university, approach them and make friends with them, you may be able to share some of your difficulties with them. If not, then look for good sangat in genral, maybe course mates etc, and even invite them over to your flat, these are all just ways of distracted the mind.

All suffering/sadness comes from the mind. But the mind is a very hard thing to control. That is why there are so few who have become sants. But when people laugh at you, try think of a particualr gurbani thukh that may make you happy... even i have used this technique and it has worked very well. In situations where you get sad or angry, try thinking of this thukh:

fareedhaa jo thai maaran mukeeaaa(n) thinhaa n maarae ghu(n)m ||

Fareed, do not turn around and strike those who strike you with their fists.

aapanarrai ghar jaaeeai pair thinhaa dhae chu(n)m ||7||

Kiss their feet, and return to your own home. ||7||

The above is very strong. It shows the amount of humility baba fareed jee had. He says those who hit you kiss their feet. So if you are being laughed at, you should still try to not take it to heart.

another 2 thukhs that may help are:

fareedhaa burae dhaa bhalaa kar gusaa man n hadtaae ||

Fareed, answer evil with goodness; do not fill your mind with anger.

dhaehee rog n lagee palai sabh kishh paae ||78||

Your body shall not suffer from any disease, and you shall obtain everything. ||78||

These will hopefully help to keep you calm around these people and people who say things to you.

As you said above about detachment. People talk as if it is easy. Detachment is the avastha of a bramgyani. We should aim for this, but not talk as if it is something we can easily do. To be honest I have not completly read your reply to the other comments. But if you are friends with your flatmates then thats great. I think you said they are on a level with you. so thats good.

When it is time for amrithvela, start doing naam abiyaas inside and have a little courage in going to do ishnan which you said teh showers are across the hallway. Gur sahib is jaanee jaan - all knowing. He wont let people say anything to you when you have recieved teh blessing of waking up at amrithvela.

Ensure that this issue does not affect your sikhi. As sikhi is priceless. If it begins to affect it then please seek further help in gurus charan.

Keep keertan on in your room or something that is uplifting. Try to indulge yourself in as much bani and simran as possible..In fact that is obviously the cure to all troubles. However, I know that this is easy to say and hard to do. Also try and attend as many keertan programmes as possible, as sathsangat is very important. This should make you feel a little happier, and may take your mind of this problem.

Daas has little knowledge so please forgive me for anything that I have said out of line with gurmat or that may have offended you or anyone else.

Keep your head up…

man kio bairaag karehigaa sathigur maeraa pooraa ||

O my mind, why are you so sad? My True Guru is Perfect.

Vaheguru ji ka khalsa, vaheguru ji ki fateh.

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mmm, lets look closely at this.

lust : humans yes, animals , no. Humans are affected by lust. Animals have a natural cycle for reproduction that doesnt involve lust.

intoxications : humans yes, animals, no. i havent heard of any animals that get intoxicated.

eating corpses: humans yes, animals, yes.

dont look after thier bodies: humans yes and no, animals, yes, they have an instinct to clean themselves and dont get their fur cut for nothing.

so, really you are advising bhenji to act more like an animal, yes?

I used the word lust as I did not want to be explicit, my main meaning was having multiple sexual partners as opposed to one spouse, as for intoxication I meant indulging in any sorts of pleasures, having no discrimination (Bibek-budhi) when consuming anything (now you will say animals only eat what their bodies are adapted for, blah blah..) The human body was given to us for a specific purpose (meeting Vaheguru) not to just indulge or sustain it. Lets try reading between the lines next time.

Are you trying to say that keeping in rehat makes one more like an animal than a human? That is a very disrespectful thing to say.

catnip.jpg

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Guest RavindaSingh

Vaheguru ji ka Khalsa Vaheguru ji ki Fateh

Dont get phased by this behaviour Penji when i was in 1st year this kinda thing happened to me but jus plow on with your daily routine immersed in Gurbani BUT you do have to give them some rules and tell them if they've got a problem to tell it to your face sometimes you have to be assertive to get your point across .... also find some friends in uni who are gursikhs and get to know them so u can live with em in 2nd year things are much easier ive noticed when your around peeps who are like yourself. Just keep your Sikhi strong n things will work out for the best 1st year is hard because of all the maia surrounding but you'll pull through :)

Vaheguru ji ka Khalsa Vaheguru ji ki Fateh

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