How Should I Approach My Shy Wife After Marriage

[Guest pandu]

I am getting married but my singni is very very shy. I remember when parents told her to hold my hand to engagement then she was not ready to hold it. when forced whe started crying.

I was wondering how should i proceed on wedding night. we have been talking for baout 9 months but she is very shy.

Should i just talk to her little and just sleep normally for few days and wait for her to get comfortable. Or i should wait untill she tell me. I am confused.

Frankly speaking after waiting for very long time , now my urgew for sex has been finished and i am very less interested in it.

I can even spend months without touhcing her.

But then will the girl feel bad about that , or she may think i have some sexual problem.

What should i do

[m4ndy]

Well i dont think its a shy problem maybe she feels awkward around you, maybe you have given her some impression that she finds hard to deal with. If you have been talking to her for the last 9 months then generally speaking you must know a lot about each other by now to avoid being shy or being pushed away from you. Every girl is different at the stage of marriage its hard for a girl to fit in life after marriage. You have to make sure she feels welcome, marriage isnt always about touching you know maybe instead talk to her about having children in the near future that might help. It might just be a confidence issue being centre of attention being around people can be an anxity for certain girls. I think communication is key you need to talk to her about issues she feels uncomfortable with. You have noticed that she is shy then help her overcome this problem together dont ignore it.

[MsShergill1991]

I think you have to try to be her friend first and her sexual partner second. A key to a successful marriage is communication. If you are able to talk about anything with each other than you will become comfortable with one another. Take her places that are not to romantic and are not too crowded but allow you two to have a great time as well as get to know one another better. Think of it as a new friendship that you hope to one day turn into a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. She has to feel comfortable around you and everyone else, such as your family, friends and coworkers. She will slowly come to you must be patient.

[kullykhalsa]

Dont mean to be harsh but if sh cant even hold your hand after 9 months sounds fishy? Equally shes your wife ask her about sex nothing to be embarrased about!

[VanHelsingh]

There's two schools of thought on this particular subject.

1) You be a gentleman and respect her wishes. You're confident in the knowledge that you're married so she'll eventually come round one day. Plus she'll respect you for being so caring and understanding.

2) She thinks you're a mug for being so meek because you aren't displaying macho, alpha-male behaviour, and she won't ever respect you for as long as you're married. The fact that she's wrung every bit of desire for contact on your part without even saying a word is just.... :respect:. She's started a war of attrition and she is the ultimate commander!

Seriously, depends on what kind of person she is. Can you judge what type of person she is? If not, get on the blower to the bacholeh and ask 'em to have a word with her parents. :biggrin2:

[HDSH]

If she is like this with her Parents and Siblings as well, it may be indictive of other deep rooted issues.

[KhalistaniGunMan]

arent you supposed to consumate the marriage on the first night?..

[HDSH]

arent you supposed to consumate the marriage on the first night?..

:huh2: I do not sense any sarcasm in the post. But I'm really REALLY hoping you were being sarcastic there.

[hsisingh]

Dude....this isn't 1812...it's 2012.

If she won't even hold your hand...is there a chance she is not interested in men?? Seriously, I would ask.

Also, you should consumate the marriage on the first night after the wedding..tell her, its like eating sprouts the first time...just open your mouth and chew and worry about the taste later... and after that you love them (anyway I love sprouts).

If you are unsure, there is plenty of material on the internet that offers advice on such matters.

[West London Singh]

Dont mean to be harsh but if sh cant even hold your hand after 9 months sounds fishy? Equally shes your wife ask her about sex nothing to be embarrased about!

Thats not what he said. He merely stated how she was shy of holding hands for the photos at the engagement ceremony. Thats totally understandable, coz me and the wife were a bit uncomfortable with that aspect for the photos too.....especially with photographers these days constantly asking you to get all cuddly feely in front of your elders. He hasn't mentioned any 'holding hands' issues 8 months into the marriage. He's merely talking about consumation of the marriage.

If I'm totally honest with him.......It is more than enough time bruvs. Really, her mum, aunties etc should have sat her down and explained the situation to her by now. But seeing as they haven't, you both need to sit down and have a chat about the whole point of marriage. In my opinion, 2 weeks would have been a perfectly acceptable and understandable amount of time to let a shy person feel comfortable. 8 months is way too long. Sort it out fella.