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How Should I Approach My Shy Wife After Marriage


Guest pandu

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its so funny seeing "little kids" talking about adult things. Acting like they know what they are talking about. You have NO clue! If you don't know, just be quiet!

Well i dont think its a shy problem maybe she feels awkward around you, maybe you have given her some impression that she finds hard to deal with. If you have been talking to her for the last 9 months

Dangle the carrot of cooked meals at relatives homes in-front of her, and then when she begins to warm to her husband introduce her to the harsh realities of married life......THE REALM OF THE KITCHEN

I knew a Singh who held the opinion you've stated above and refused to consumate his marriage as he didn't want to conceive a child on his "first night" but also didn't want to give into kaam even though "it" was the expected thing to do on the first night.

His missus made a fuss of the situation and said he had "problems". Both families are at loggerheads a few days after the marriage, with the girl's side blaming the groom's side for hiding his medical dysfunction, lol.

It ended horribly and nobody understood the Singh's stance even though the girl's side were from India and the lass was also amritdhari. 2 years down the line Singh got remarried and has 2 kids now.

So there's a few realities that rear their heads when the theory seems straightforward enough. It would be great if both bride and groom are on the same page before getting hitched in regards to this particular issue. If both are in agreement then nobody else should have a problem.

BTW, for those of you with suspicious minds the above Singh isn't me, lol. I'm not doing one of those "I have a friend..." posts. :lol2:

What a great Singh, sticking to his convictions like that!

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Having a pop? i was just laughing at the joke he made, which to be frank was actually pretty funny.

Apologies if i have caused you any offence.

I should've added a smiley. I meant my comment to be entirely humourous my friend! I forget this is the Internet and things can be taken the wrong way on occasions. :biggrin2:

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Guest -advisor-

Gurfateh.

The topic seems to have diverted onto something completley different however back to the original post.

It is a very personal relationship between husband and wife. She might have been shy in front of all relatives holding hands etc.but you dont need to take that as a rejection or cause for concern. She has only known you for 8 months and your not married atm.

Only you can gauge where you both are in the relationship both mentally and physically. It is for you both to decide how you should move your relationship forward. There are some helpful suggestiosn but the best way forward would be to speak to her about it, if you can wait it out at least wait until you are married. I am not sure how many bibia would be happy to speak about physical relationships before marriage.

You seem like an understanding and respectful person so perhaps just giving her some space until she can settle into your home and family before discussing your relationship.

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sorryji, for the diversion, its innergear's vocabulary, bless him.

YEs ur right @ advisor, not many would speak b4 marriage. One has to understand the reservation that has to take place b4 marriage.

I dont think u have any problem, its just that u feel u have been knocked back by her, as she cried. Dont think its because of you, its not.

Its probably because her being a Singhni that she has been very reserved, and been standing by her morals, and respect for herself, which is very great.

Try to understand it from her side too, that It is very difficult for her to all of a sudden adapt to a stranger, when all her life, she has been with her family.

Not all girls are confident in talking, or their interpersonal communication may not be as u expect it to be. Thats all because of the environment that she has been in, and as a person she is a shy person.

Just be urself on your wedding day, dont worry about physical relationship too much, as that will stress u more and u dont want that b4 your wedding.

You could try to talk to her on a one to one basis, and just tell her how u feel. But say it so as not to offend her. Tell her how that u feel low, and that you think its coz of u, as u have told us here.

Also give her moral support, tell her u will be there for her no matter wat, and in sukh and dukh, she probably is very very nervous about the whole situation as u are. And the crying maybe part of a panic attack. The more she will feel less vunerable to watever she is fearful of, the more comfortable she will feel around you.

Good luck and may waheguru give u happiness in ur marriage.

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Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

I would recommend reading a book named "Grahsat Dharam Sikhiya" written by Master Tara Singh Ji which is a must read for everyone single or married. I haven't read this book yet, but I have heard a lot about it. The content of this book is heavily based on the following books as mentioned by Master Tara Singh Ji on the very first page:

  1. Science of a new Life
  2. What a young man ought to know
  3. Confidential talk to a young man
  4. Human Physiology

This book is available to read at Panjab Digital Library for free at the following link:

http://www.panjabdig...t+Dharm+Sikhaya

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Sewak

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