Provisioning In Anand Karaj Maryada ?

[chatanga]

Questioner . you have raised a very good point, the thing is that Gurdwara committee's are reluctant to put their foot down, for fear of offending the families. as neo bro has said, we need to step a fine line in upholding maryada without driving people away.

As I have said may times before, young sikhs need to be more involved in committee's and managament, but they are too weak, too scared of commitment to the gurdwara, too selfish as well, that they just dont get involved.

[proactive]

Thanks for your post proactive veer..since you are senior singh out of all of us and understand our punjabi sikh community much better than anyone else here....can you please also shed some light or ideas how to approach this- how can we upheld the anand karaj maryada without make further divisions between mona's and amritdharis or without creating situation which can turn hostile quite easily or without unintentionaly putting people off from sikhi? How can we approach it sensibly so both sides can be happy?...What you think about provisioning in anand karaj maryada ie- providing sikh chaplain service to these people which was mentioned in the thread.

No offence but I don't your idea of using a Gutka would take off. The majority rightly believe that the Anand Karaj is the real wedding and the registry wedding is just something to do because the law requires it. No one will go for the watered down Anand Karaj. Possibly the answer to this issue is a combination of things.

1. Make both couple sign an agreement that there will no other religious marriage ceremony apart from a civil one before or after the Anand Karaj. This would foil the type of things that happen where the Anand Karaj is followed by the Hindu or Christian wedding ceremony making a mockery of the Anand Karaj.

2. There will have to be some discrimination with regard to how the non-Sikh bride is handled as opposed to a non-Sikh groom. As the likelihood is that the female follows the religion of the male or at least does not attempt to convert him to her faith, then probably a declaration from her that she will follow the Sikh lifestyle should be sufficient.

3. For the non-Sikh groom, it would have to be different. Probably a formal comversion to Sikhism. This will root out some of the unsavory characters whose sole aim is to convert the girl to their religion.

[Harmindersingh]

Biased story in local newspaper

http://www.swindonad...racial_wedding/

[N30S1NGH]

Thanks proactive for your candid post. I agree with all of your points..just need clarification on 3rd post:

For the non-Sikh groom, it would have to be different. Probably a formal conversion to Sikhism. This will root out some of the unsavory characters whose sole aim is to convert the girl to their religion.

Conversion as in khanda batta da amrit or amrit (the one which is given to kids - in preliminary stage)? Anyways i think i m getting ahead of myselfor getting too technical already..i hope sikh youth sevadars can have meeting with jathedars can discuss your points and among others by sarbha da punjab and we can get somewhere with this..!!

[Jonny101]

WOW how the girl's family is pumping up the propaganda machine by contacting all the Gora media out there. In future when ever such operations occur is it highly recommended that the Sikhs record the whole thing so such unscrupulous elements do not misinform the whole world on what really happened.

And great post by Proactive Jee. You have made very good points.

[N30S1NGH]

As jonny said, we need to be smart here guys, when we approach any commitee member of any gurdwara or couple regarding anand karaj..we need to record whole discussion or meeting...put that in clause as well!!

[N30S1NGH]

In the heap of talking about anand karaj maryada. I though i share the actual anand karaj translations which i was able to translate by maharaj kirpa from gyani thakur singh ji katha on anand karaj

Anand Karaj is fully divine in nature.The whole four lavan in anand karaj are actually four states couple together supposed to walk on. For eg- 1st lavan- Embracing the righteous code of dharam, 2nd Lavan - listening to guru's discourses and acting up on it - being imbued in naam simran as result unstruck resosance of shabada resonates in couple's inside - 3rd Lavan - couple having sangat of soceity of saints and true bairaag is known, followed by fourth lavan- heart blossoms forth in the Naam, and there is full union with husband lord. Symbolically, couples are considered bride and true husband- Vahiguroo.

Now everyone ask yourself is it wise to suggest to perform anand karaj of sikh marrying non sikh where the whole updesh given in anand karaj is collective(both individuals) to walk on path of guru (explained in four lavan- anand karaj)??. After marriage, in Sikh thought, both partners become one and follow through these four states. Sikh (student) marrying non sikh would literally be like putting one feet in one boat and other feet in another boat as updesh given in anand karaj is to both partners as one jot. Sikhi does not encourage sikh to marry someone from different dharam, because updesh (guidance) given in anand karaj is collective guidance given to an couple to walk in the path of sikhi together, thats the whole point of anand karaj..Sikhi preaches if you want to be hindu be true hindu, muslim be true muslim (both feets in one boat) ..this has nothing to do with race or discrimination or anything like that but everything to do with the whole philosophy behind anand karaj itself. Anand karaj maryada came from anand karaj itself, its not invented from thin air..just because no one said anything before or hesitant to point out mockery of anand karaj happening every weekend does not make it norm...sikhs have every right to preserve sanctity of anand karaj off course this has to be approached sensibly through education of anand karaj!!

You can read translations for anand karaj here with vaikhiya here:

source: http://www.sikhaware...aj-translations

~ Anand Karaj Ceremony ~

~ Lavan Vaikhiya ~

(Original Vaikhiya in Punjabi by Gyani Thakur Singh Khalsa damdami taksal):

Gyani ji says, Sri Guru Ram Das Ji Maharaj give discourse of ekta (unity) between jiv(Being) and paratama(supreme soul) in four lavans. These four lavans are four states towards Bhramgyan (Supreme Divine Knowledge). In First state, Guru ji give updesh (discourse) to jagiaso (bride and groom) on reading gurbani, meditate on Naam. Upon doing, slowly but surely in the second state, this jiv atma falls in love with Naam of God .When that happens mind starts getting free from all the doubts and fears and this jiv gets more aware of their actions. In third state, jiv becomes bairaagi (emotionally inclined towards divine). When in the mind, seed of bairaag started to grow and flourish then this jiv meets with saints or society of saints. After meeting with saint or soceity of saints, this jiv start meditating on Vahiguroo. In Gradual pace, Vahiguroo's resonance started in this jiv (being) mind and heart and this jiv started listening to celestial resonance inside. Slowly travelling through all three stages, this jiv (being) prepares firm capacity where Vahiguroo gives its full parkash. After receiving three states, in the fourth state this jiv gets sehaj avastha which makes this jiv automatically love his divine name. In this fourth state, desire to meet Vahiguroo is fullfilled. Jiv Roop Istari (in form of being, wife) meets with husband lord. Where couples- husband, wife as jiv together merges with true husband lord).

Gyani ji says, these four states are described in four lavans (rounds) which husband and wife together perform around Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji.

Soohee mehlaa 4.

Soohee, Fourth Mehl:

har pahilarhee laav parvirtee karam drirh-aa-i-aa bal raam jee-o.

In the first (parkarma) round of the marriage ceremony, lord shows parvirtee(world is maya/illusion) then Lords shows nivarti as in self-realization to realize that illusion and stay detached(nirlaip) while leaving in this world.

banee barahmaa vayd Dharam darirhHu paap tajaa-i-aa bal raam jee-o.

Bhrama talks about embracing the righteous conduct of dharma in vedas and renounce sinful actions. Gurbani also as well says to embrace the righteous conduct of dharma and renounce sinful actions (4 cardinal sins considered in Sikh dharma).

Dharam darirhHu har naam Dhi-aavahu simrit naam drirh-aa-i-aa.

Real essence of Dharma is to meditate on the Lord's Name; embrace and enshrine the contemplative remembrance of the Naam, even the simritas(many scriptures) have talked about importance of Naam.

Gyani ji says: Person should have balance between keeping rehat maryada and doing naam simran (meditation). Maryada is of no usage, if dharmi does not meditate which is main essence of dharma.

satgur gur pooraa aaraaDhahu sabh kilvikh paap gavaa-i-aa.

Worship and adore the Guru, the Perfect True Guru, and all your sins shall be dispelled.

sahj anand ho-aa vadbhaagee man har har meethaa laa-i-aa.

After worshipping and adoring the Guru, by great good fortune, slowly one gets attuned towards sehaj avastha, celestial bliss is attained, and the Lord, Har, Har, seems sweet to the mind.

jan kahai naanak laav pahilee aarambh kaaj rachaa-i-aa. ||1||

Servant Nanak proclaims that, in this, the first round (state) of the marriage ceremony, the marriage ceremony has begun.

har doojrhee laav satgur purakh milaa-i-aa bal raam jee-o.

In the second round of the marriage ceremony, When Akaal Purkh leads you to meet the True Guru by listening to guru's discourses.

Gyani ji says: Above tuk talks about Sikh (jagiaso-husband/wife) how their mind is purified after meeting the true guru.

nirbha-o bhai man ho-ay ha-umai mail gavaa-i-aa bal raam jee-o.

Fearless Lord (Sat guru) eradicated the fear of God, hell, angels of death in the mind and eradicates the filth of egotism in this being.

nirmal bha-o paa-i-aa har gun gaa-i-aa har vaykhai raam hadooray.

Immaculate Lord then puts immaculate fear( type of fear which consider God or Guru higher than this being) inside this being, under which this being sing the Glorious Praises of the Lord, and behold the Lord's Presence before anything.

har aatam raam pasaari-aa su-aamee sarab rahi-aa bharpooray.

The Lord, the Supreme Soul, is the Lord and Master of the Universe; He is pervading and permeating everywhere, fully filling all spaces.

antar baahar har parabh ayko mil har jan mangal gaa-ay.

Deep within, and outside as well, there is only the One Lord God. Meeting together, the humble servants of the Lord sing the songs of joy.

jan naanak doojee laav chalaa-ee anhad sabad vajaa-ay. ||2||

Nanak proclaims that, in this, the second round of the marriage ceremony, the unstuck sound current of the Shabad resonates in couples mind. ||2||

har teejrhee laav man chaa-o bha-i-aa bairaagee-aa bal raam jee-o.

In the third round of the marriage ceremony, the mind is filled with Divine Love and longing towards God.

sant janaa har mayl har paa-i-aa vadbhaagee-aa bal raam jee-o.

Then meeting with the humble Saints of the Lord, I have found the Lord, by great good fortune.

nirmal har paa-i-aa har gun gaa-i-aa mukh bolee har banee.

I have found the Immaculate Lord, and I sing the Glorious Praises of the Lord. I speak the Word of the Lord's Bani.

sant janaa vadbhaagee paa-i-aa har kathee-ai akath kahaanee.

By great good fortune, I have found the humble Saints, and I speak the Unspoken Speech of the Lord along with the saints.

hirdai har har har Dhun upjee har japee-ai mastak bhaag jee-o.

The Name of the Lord, Har, Har, Har, vibrates and resounds within my heart; meditating on the Lord, I have realized the destiny inscribed upon my forehead.

Gyani ji says: In this state, naam simran starts inside within the body and it vibrates and resounds with its resonance all the time even though working, talking to someone.

Gyani ji gives further example how mother's concentration is always on her infant child even though she is working in house. Just like that in this state, this being inner concentration is always attuned to resonance happening inside.

jan naanak bolay teejee laavai har upjai man bairaag jee-o. ||3||

Servant Nanak proclaims that, in this, the third round of the marriage ceremony, the mind is filled with Divine Love and longing (bairag) towards God.

Gyani ji says there are nine types of bairaag(longing)- Above verse talks about 8th type of bairaag in its third state towards spirituality.

Nine types of bairaag.

1. Karan Bairag: Cause bairaag. For example- There was a raja(king) parthar, there was his queen pingal who was extremely beautiful. Someone gave her amar phul which is divine blessing to stay always young and beautiful. Queen pingal betrayed king by sharing her blessing, wealth, time to king's servant. When King came to know about this secret, king went through emotional shock and left his kingdom and did immense meditation, he also wrote 100 shaloks in book called - Bairaag shatak. This book is full of bairaag after reading this and contemplating on it ones becomes fully bairaag/tyaagi.

2. Mand Bairaag- Longing due to the lack of worldly materials, leaving the family and set up small ashram with small numbers of followers.

3. Ek Indra bairaag- To see, listen, talk about desire full things whether it's paraie women, car, house, party with senses. In this type of bairaag one does not do action as in engaging themselves in desire full activities but just seeing them. If one manages not to engage themselves in actions/act that they tend to spent all their life seeing, listening, talking, such person is called Ek Indrae Bairaagi.

4. Yatman Bairaag: This bairaag is to distinguish between Truth and Lie.

5. Vetrek Bairaag: This type of bairaagi (person belongs to vetrak bairaag state) to think about merits and demerits in congregation.

6. Vasikar Bairaag: This type of bairaag is controlling over ten sense organs and mind.

7. Teebar bairaag- This type of bairaag renounces desire for paradise and worldly comforts.

8. Teebar tar Bairaag- This type of bairaag renounces desire for heavenly paradise and heavenly comforts.

9. Tar Teebar tar tam bairaag- This type of bairaag to renounces the objects of inder lok, shiv lok, Bhramlok [Realms of three deities). There are no desires left in this final state of bairaag. Not even for salvation but only to fully merge with the beloved."

har cha-utharhee laav man sahj bha-i-aa har paa-i-aa bal raam jee-o.

In the fourth round of the marriage ceremony, mind has become peaceful; I have found the Lord which has taken away all my anxiety and worries.

Gyani ji talks about meaning of sehaj avastha; Sehaj Avastha is state when person -who feels no happiness upon gaining materialistic things in this world or status, also feels no sadness upon loosing any materialistic things or social status in this world. Sehaj Avastha when person's state is samh (steady and stable free from materialistic happiness and sadness).

Gyani ji further clarifies that this four state or round of lavan, being reaches the highest state of bairaag. Ninth and last bairaag is known as: Tar Teebar tar tam bairaag

gurmukh mili-aa subhaa-ay har man tan meethaa laa-i-aa bal raam jee-o.

I have met Mukhi (Supreme) Guru, with intuitive ease; the Lord seems so sweet to my mind and body.

har meethaa laa-i-aa mayray parabh bhaa-i-aa an-din har liv laa-ee.

The Lord's Naam (Name) seems so sweet; I am pleasing to my God. Night and day, I lovingly focus my consciousness on the Lord.

man chindi-aa fal paa-i-aa su-aamee har naam vajee vaaDhaa-ee.

I have obtained my Vahiguroo, the fruit of my mind's desires. The Lord's Name resounds and resonates.

har parabh thaakur kaaj rachaa-i-aa Dhan hirdai naam vigaasee.

The Lord God blends with His bride(couples/partner), and her heart blossoms forth in the Naam.

Gurbani says:

Jab Hum Hotaie Tab Tu Nahi, Ab Tuhi Mein Nahi ||

jan naanak bolay cha-uthee laavai har paa-i-aa parabh avinaasee. ||4||2||

Servant Nanak proclaims that, in this, the fourth round of the marriage ceremony, we together have found the Eternal Lord God.

~ Lavan Vaikhiya Sampuran Sampati ~

[SarabhaPanjab]

[Guru_Da_Chella]

Meanwhile, have a look at how the Gurdwara matrimonial services (Singh Sabha Havelock being a big contributor to this!!!) are helping the coconuts increase Anand Karaj ignorance, by allowing females hostile towards turbans to register and virtually take over the list !!

http://www.sikhsangat.com/Index.php?/topic/62606-disrespect-to-turban-at-gurdwara-matrimonials-from-sikh-females/