Kissing

[Guest curious singh]

Waheguru ji ka khalsa,Waheguru ji ki fateh

I have been married for some time now and was wondering if kissing is allowed. I am amritdhari but my wife is not amritdhari. Is it to indulge in kaam if I kiss her? Please only sensible answers.

[Wingz23]

if youre only kissing youre wife and noone else then i dotn think there anything wrong with that... you love her she loves you... just keep kissing dude

[kullykhalsa]

your married singh surely this is a discussion you should have with your wife...asking sangat if you should kiss your wife is a bit weird

[N30S1NGH]

Griisthi should have mindset of- sabh gobind hai sabh gobind hai. No doubt, for student this thought of oneness(higher reality) itself is double edge sword and its but of slippery slope but based on the avastha, but at the end you know who you are deceiving, you deceiving yourself as you know about your mind than anyone else...use your intellect(buddhi) as a witness to see perception of our mind upon kissing your spouse.

There is an major difference between love and attachment. If you kissing her from dristhi kaun (perception)- sabh gobind hai sabh gobind hai and showing affection then its fine she comes under "sabh gobind hai sabh gobind hai" but if you kissing her with bhog birthi (fullfilling your desires) than yourself have to be honest with your own mind and stop pretending..!!

Be honest with yourself and you will see things more clearly..its all about one's perception..!!

[Only five]

She is not Amritdhari, then you cannot have any physical relations with her. These are directions of Punj Pyare and not made up by anyone. What you can do is focus on your jeevan to understand what it means everyone is God. Many times we hit brick walls trying to understand it. But the idea is to keep growing in Sikhi.

When it came to Sant Baba Jarnail Singh Ji Khalsa and seeing his family. Sant ji made no special arrangements. Sant ji told his immediate family that he will see them in the sangat just like how he sees rest of the sangat. I know what a typical wife or husband would say to this behaviour (im their spouse, so im special), but don't pay attention to public opinion. Focus on Maharaj's feet! Those who have studied some of the Upanishads will see a similar teaching. Such a state is very hard to attain, even coming close to this state brings a person to bliss. Rise above these lower energies that make an atma fall into cycle of birth and death.

In todays world just wearing a kirpan, a dastar, Bana does not make a person, Satguru's beloved. So many are listening, so many are singing, so many are speaking, so many are caught up in the love of maya in these ways. Who causes a person to listen, sing, and speak? No effort has to be made to do any three. All take place by his command. By Satguru grace only a few realize how to listen, sing, and speak. Satguru's grace starts to happen when we start follow Gurbani teachings. One step at a time and the mind can be conquered. Some run to Guru Sahib and they claim victory faster.

Bad habits can be made in 2 minutes, but it takes a life time to break these bad habits.

[alias]

to origional poster.. ideally, you shud be amrit dhari before u get married. avoid these predicaments. (tbh with u, rehet is there to avoid predicaments).

but, ur marrid. so yes. anything goes (most prefferably and hopefully as per gurmat) that both you and your wife concent. you as a couple can either increase, or decrease together. but as you are marrid, anything you both agree on, is accepted. (bear in mind, even if it is accepted, it doesnt mean its right.. as i said, you can both decrease as well as increase)..

[Guest original poster]

She is not Amritdhari, then you cannot have any physical relations with her. These are directions of Punj Pyare and not made up by anyone. What you can do is focus on your jeevan to understand what it means everyone is God. Many times we hit brick walls trying to understand it. But the idea is to keep growing in Sikhi.

When it came to Sant Baba Jarnail Singh Ji Khalsa and seeing his family. Sant ji made no special arrangements. Sant ji told his immediate family that he will see them in the sangat just like how he sees rest of the sangat. I know what a typical wife or husband would say to this behaviour (im their spouse, so im special), but don't pay attention to public opinion. Focus on Maharaj's feet! Those who have studied some of the Upanishads will see a similar teaching. Such a state is very hard to attain, even coming close to this state brings a person to bliss. Rise above these lower energies that make an atma fall into cycle of birth and death.

In todays world just wearing a kirpan, a dastar, Bana does not make a person, Satguru's beloved. So many are listening, so many are singing, so many are speaking, so many are caught up in the love of maya in these ways. Who causes a person to listen, sing, and speak? No effort has to be made to do any three. All take place by his command. By Satguru grace only a few realize how to listen, sing, and speak. Satguru's grace starts to happen when we start follow Gurbani teachings. One step at a time and the mind can be conquered. Some run to Guru Sahib and they claim victory faster.

Bad habits can be made in 2 minutes, but it takes a life time to break these bad habits.

You are saying I can't have any physical relations with her so does that mean I can not have children? Also what do you mean by bad habits?

[Guest original poster]

your married singh surely this is a discussion you should have with your wife...asking sangat if you should kiss your wife is a bit weird

I think this post is beyond your intelligence. I said only sensible answers

[tuhintuhin]

Waheguru ji ka khalsa,Waheguru ji ki fateh

I have been married for some time now and was wondering if kissing is allowed. I am amritdhari but my wife is not amritdhari. Is it to indulge in kaam if I kiss her? Please only sensible answers.

waheguru ji I wasn't actually feeling like saying anything in this topic......but don't know somebody just made me write ,,,,

waheguru ji kaam ton bina duniya nahin vadegi.....kaam jaroori hai par "sanjam" naal.....but this is not the topic here....

since you are married and you accepted your wife in front of Guru Sahib.......you are two bodies one soul now.......amrit shakna is not some kind of course....that you take admission in and pass ..........this happens by Guru Sahib ji's kirpa..........tuhade te ho gayi ona te aje nahin hoyi......no worries....jadon ona da time auna one te vi ho jani aa........you can start your grehsathi jeewan with her by all means as long as she wants the same which is obvious I think unless this marriage was not forced on her and she doesn't want to go ahead in this relation is a different thing,,,,,...

,,,,,tuhade sanjog waheguru ji ne ona naal likhe si...that's why your are married to her...........

Bhul chuk maaf

[Only five]

You are saying I can't have any physical relations with her so does that mean I can not have children? Also what do you mean by bad habits?

As one poster has said....kaam is needed.............once your thinking switches to this, then you have failed already. Satguru tells us those who sit together are not husband and wife. Your wife has both feet in the worldly boat because she has not taken Amrit (better know as the cycle of birth and death in Sikhi). You on the other hand have one foot in Guru Sahib's boat and then are fighting whether to put the other foot in the worldly boat or give it to Guru Sahib. You want to show your wife that you care, but then don't want to break your tie with Guru Sahib by doing something against Guru Sahib. Parents always use this concept with their kids.....tough love. They make their kids do something or forbid them from doing something that will benefit them in the future, while their kid needs to 'sacrifice' what they desire today. Guru Sahib is showing you tough love right now.

Let me make my last post more clear. When i said people are suck in maya by listening, speaking, and singing. I was not speaking about those who are not Amritdhari. But speaking about those who are Amritdhari and do their nitnem and all, but are still deeply stuck in maya (at the Gurdwara biggest chola and kirpan, not at the Gurdwara the chola and kirpan come off and they are in skirts, dresses making a mockery of the Sikhi Saroop while they dance to lustful music). The above poster points out that we need kaam to increase the world. Read Sri Japji Sahib and we can find out such statements are made because of maya (read Sri Sukhmani Sahib and such statements are fully rejected). By his command we are listening, by his command we are speaking and singing. Who needs to speak and who needs to listen? Amritdharis do nitnem (speaking Sri Vaheguru Ji Maharaj's praises) because Sri Vaheguru Ji Maharaj made them by his command and they did not to it by their own efforts. Is man and women the tool or the creator for creation? trick question they are neither. Everything is happening because of his command. This gets fustrating because if everything is taking place because of his command then what can we do? This answer is given right in Sri Mool Mantar Sahib. By following Satguru's teachings we are doing what we need to do. We don't need to indulge in kaam to increase anything. If we did then Satguru would have given this teaching to us. Never did and never will. The mind is racing and wants the quickest way to satisify its desires. Someone starts yelling at you and the mind wants to yell back and win the yelling war...........get some better insults in. Someone wants more of something..........can't happen because the mind fights back and makes sure it gets it. The mind can't be satisfied with worldly desires. More you feed it worldly desires and the more it will desire. Only way to quiet the mind, bring it under control, bring some peace and mind into life is by following Satguru's teachings.

Your wife should understand taking Amrit for her is a must, if she wants the marriage to be stable and bring some good karma in your life and her life. The good karma only helps life become more easier for you and her. If she wants to stay in her ego and avoid taking Amrit then make it clear you are putting both feet in Guru Sahib's boat by explaining why you choose to do so. Put in the offer to help her along in Sikhi and come to the stage of taking Amrit. If she still stays stubborn, then its your bad karma catching up with you (shouldn't have married a girl who was not amritdhari) This ties in with the bad habit bit...............see what kind of situation you have got yourself in........

Talk to your wife with humility, but don't be passive where you end up doing acts which Guru Sahib doesn't approve of. Be very patient (your wife realizing Guru Sahib's path can take years) and stay content with whatever outcome occurs with both of your feet in Guru Sahib's boat. Act without hatred and without fear. Don't hate your wife for being stubborn and don't fear her either.