Singhs Who Treat Kaurs Like Anything But Princesses

[Guest Guest]

Singhs Who Treat Kaurs Like Anything But Princesses

During a Sikh camp a Singhni approached an older Gursikh who had a white flowing beard. She asked him if they could talk in private for a moment. They moved to a corridor just outside a hall, which contained the rest of the campers. She pointed out a young man, dressed in Khalsa blue from his Dastaar to his Chola. He looked beautiful in his bana and his face was radiant.

“Do you see him?” asked the Singhni.

“Yes I see him,” replied the Gursikh.

“I’ve been seeing him for a while now, but last night he beat me up,” said the Singhni.

Quite rightly there is much awareness about our Sisters waking up and staying alert from misguided men from other backgrounds with malicious intent. There have been many cases where Kaurs have fallen for their charms and unfortunately the outcome has been traumatic and devastating. But it is even sadder to say that even some Singhs are treating our sisters like anything but princesses.

I’m sure there are many stories similar and perhaps even more disturbing than mentioned above and every Singhni needs to be on guard with every Singh they encounter. For instance there have been cases where Singhs have simply used a Kaur just for sex and discarded of them when things have gotten too complicated for them.

Appearance means nothing and even though it’s tough not to have ideas of what someone is like by the way they look, you need to stay neutral and alert. A lot can be told by tuning into to people, taking in their energy, how their words come across, their body language, and most of all their actions. Unfortunately a lot of these signs can be hidden if your focus is on their physical appearance their charm and smiles. It’s so easy to get caught up in getting attention and the chemistry taking over, being showered with compliments and being fed what you want to hear.

When it comes to Singhs and especially considering a connection beyond friendship, ask yourself, would my Guru approve of this person. Think about the values that the Guru wants to instill in us all, Gurbani always on the edge of our tongue, selfless service, sweet speech, always acting with grace and respect. These are just to name a few.

The best thing is to be prepared instead of trying to wake up from the spell that some Singh’s can put on you. Using their proclaimed identity of being a Sikh as a camouflage to do what he wishes with you. When you’re in the thick of emotions perspectives and common sense is hazed and what takes over in that moment is the feelings you have developed about that person instead of what is right and best for you. Take action now, equip yourself with this mentality everyday and don’t be one of the Kaurs who have been burned by so-called Singhs.

Sometimes when Kaurs are burned by Singhs in these circumstances it’s hard for them to trust another Singh and this could even deter them from considering a Singh again and it’s so sad, because I’m sure there are so many genuine Singhs out there with beautiful bright souls and it hurts to know that they may not be given the opportunity to meet them.

We can only pray that the Guru Ji guides our Sisters, gives them strength and protection.

Hugging me close in His Embrace, He protects me, and now, even the hot wind does not touch me. ||18| - Guru Nanak Dev Sahib Ji

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[hsisingh]

so the message of you rather lengthy posting is that a man will put on an act to sleep with a woman and not all people are as they may appear to be.....tell us something new.

[lowest of the low singhni]

vaheguru ji ka khalsa vaheguru ji ki fateh

Very apt topic which is increasingly relevant nowadays. I would say that although emphasis has been placed on physical disrespect, many other forms of disrespect are rife and because of their subtlety, often harder to combat.

I would hope that my brother above would alter his derisive response if he knew he was speaking in the presence of any Kaur in one of the aforementioned situations. I would also say, that disrespect is not just a problem between Singhs and Kaurs, but between all brothers and sisters, as this forum too often shows us.

vaheguru ji ka khalsa vaheguru ji ki fateh

[hsisingh]

vaheguru ji ka khalsa vaheguru ji ki fateh

Very apt topic which is increasingly relevant nowadays. I would say that although emphasis has been placed on physical disrespect, many other forms of disrespect are rife and because of their subtlety, often harder to combat.

I would hope that my brother above would alter his derisive response if he knew he was speaking in the presence of any Kaur in one of the aforementioned situations. I would also say, that disrespect is not just a problem between Singhs and Kaurs, but between all brothers and sisters, as this forum too often shows us.

vaheguru ji ka khalsa vaheguru ji ki fateh

You use the word disrespect like some street gangster.....having a difference of opinion with someone or challenging their position is not disrespect.

The original post was an overly simplistic and idealistic view on men/relationships. If you are beaten by your 'boyfriend' it is assault and you should contact the Police - I don't think men with white flowing beards will be of much help.

[SeekingTheLight]

Waheguru. Reading over previous posts in this section I have seen many incidents in which trust has been abused and awful actions committed. I think the more aware people become of these issues the better. Looks can be deceiving so we should all learn to look way beyond this and see the person for their actions and language just as the OP has said. Personally, I have come across many cases in which young sisters have been sexually, physically and verbally assaulted by Singh's that appear to be Gursikhs. It is a shame to hear however the more the Sangat blocks out these issues the worse it is going to get... we should all understand and be made aware of what is going on behind closed doors and bring these problems forward :mellow2:

[VanHelsingh]

I'll be honest, this is the first time I've ever heard of anything like this. I'm rather shocked.

[SeekingTheLight]

I'll be honest, this is the first time I've ever heard of anything like this. I'm rather shocked.

Precisely my point. . . :happy2:

[VanHelsingh]

You'd expect the Singhs in cholla and bana to be the best the faith can offer across the board. Of course, nobody is suggesting these guys are the finished article and I'm not naive enough to have unrealistic expectations of these guys because not everyone is perfect. But I'd say someone who says "I'm not the perfect Sikh but I'm trying to get there" is referring to trying to curb kaam, krodh, moh, lobh, ahnkaar, OR trying to increase their nitnem or their understanding of scripture. But to beat a Singhni and indulge in related practices is off the chart. Just unthinkable.

[Super_Singhni]

First and foremost I think Kaurs need to start treating themselves like Princesses. This is no excuse for things that happen as the OP has written about however would these situations happen if Kaurs had the strength, courage, self-esteem they have in them but do not yet recognise?

[Guest Lines. oupptio]

It's even sadder that these kind of singhs target younger, naive singhnees who are probably just coming into Sikhi or having issues at home etc. The singh becomes her friend; she thinks they are big brother, little sister but in his head unknown to her he sees are in ways he shouldn't. He eventually starts manipulating her to such a extend she believes everything he says as he does so much Seva (talking from what i have seen) so she doesnt realise the reality of what is happening. Then when his got into her head to a point she can't see any wrong in him he becomes free to do as he pleases be it sexual or mentally. Then once his had enough of her he just throws her away like she's come trash & continues to act like the innocent singh who wouldn't hurt a fly.