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Strange Question...looking For Answers. (Serious)

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Guest Vigillance

This is a tough question I need to ask, but I have been suffering with this for a long, long time.

I have a certain mental issue...I've been dealing with for as long as I could remember. It causes me to lose control of my inner thinking. Sometimes I say (in my mind), and think of things that I would never truly mean. I can't control these thoughts. I'm far too embarassed to tell anyone about it.

I'm a Sikh and, of course, I respect God (of course, again.)

This is going to be tough to explain, because it's really embarassing to reveal too much, but...

Sometimes this mental issue causes me to say (in my mind), and wish for things I would truly never, want to happen.

Sometimes it causes me to insult the lord (even though I have no reason to, and would never even ponder doing in my life). Sometimes it even causes me to "swear by God" to wish for something bad to happen.

I try my best to counter this thought and divert my attention to something else. I apologize and apologize relentlessly for being unable to control my thoughts, and I feel like God is going to punish me and make these horrible things come true.

I try to think that God knows that I have this mental condition, and that those horrible thoughts I think are truly uncontrollable...but a part of me thinks that I will be punished for this anyway.

I've been apologizing every time my condition takes over my mind, but I'm getting depressed and I feel like God is dissapointed in me.

Even worse, I feel like God will make those horrible things I wish for, or swear for, come true. It pertrifies me, and I feel helpless, even though the "true me" would never wish for anything horrible like that.

Please, tell me that God understands the suffering I'm going through. I have so much I want to do in life. I want to help humanity, leave a legacy, and make the world a better place. This is the only thing that is holding me back.

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Guest indi singh

Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh! Dw , there's not a single thing god doesn't know , he knows ur true desires and wat ur truely are thinking so if its just the illness then off course waheguru will understand. The fact that u haVe so much pyar for waheguru by apolojizing for something you have no control over is amazing man, lool jus wanted to let u know and if u find it fustrating there's one straight solution, gurbani! Recite bani and do seva and ardaas,den maharaaj will even help you control the thoughts 100 percent without a doubt!

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the mind can be a great trickster when its allowed to go unrestrained, thinking all sorts of things

I would say there is a need to keep the mind occupied, either by work, seva, bani, simran etc, keep doing something dont be inactive and especially do not let the mind become inactive, always work on a project,

Or, get a line from Gurbani and dwell on it over and over again and contemplate the meanings of it, this might help

the other thing I would say is, try bringing the mind inward, into the heart,, dont let it 'outside' so to speak

feel the heart, the love, think of the Guru and keep it centred inside, give it a try and see how it feels

On another level, when you get these kind of thought, think of something to counteract them. If you think of something bad, reverse it and think of the opposite.

The more you do this, the more you train the mind out of this habit and it should start to ease away hopefully

Also, read Gurbani and learn about what the Gurus say about the mind, how to control it, go to Sikhitothemax and do some searches

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Guest Reveal

My friend you are displaying classic signs of Pure OCD. Look it up. CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) will help you tremendously with this. Find a therapist. I had this for years too, I am much better now.

You are not the only one. Stay away from medication (antidepressants). They will only mask the problem and take away your emotions in the process. Go for CBT.

Best of Luck

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My friend you are displaying classic signs of Pure OCD. Look it up. CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) will help you tremendously with this. Find a therapist. I had this for years too, I am much better now.

You are not the only one. Stay away from medication (antidepressants). They will only mask the problem and take away your emotions in the process. Go for CBT.

Best of Luck

This is the best reply. You need to seek professional help. It's all very well saying recite bani etc. which is very good but sometimes you need to seek a trained professionals help. Like if someone had a heart attack would you recite bani or get a paramedic or doctor to resusitate the person. End of the day it is Wahegurus hukam but sometimes you need to do something yourself and seek extra help to get the desired result. Like you can't pass your uni exams or driving test without actually studying for it, you can't say well just do namm simran and I will pass as you wont.

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Guest Vigillance

This is the best reply. You need to seek professional help. It's all very well saying recite bani etc. which is very good but sometimes you need to seek a trained professionals help. Like if someone had a heart attack would you recite bani or get a paramedic or doctor to resusitate the person. End of the day it is Wahegurus hukam but sometimes you need to do something yourself and seek extra help to get the desired result. Like you can't pass your uni exams or driving test without actually studying for it, you can't say well just do namm simran and I will pass as you wont.

I understand completely and I know getting help is the best way to approach this.

I just wanted to ask this because I want to know if what I am suffering from is being offensive to God. I know I cannot control myself, but I am always afraid that God will be upset for the out of control things that my mind is saying.

From what you guys have said...I feel a little more comforted and I think the next step would be getting professoinal help.

If you have anything more to say, please do. I really thank you all for your help.

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Again, I suggest you read up on Pure OCD and what it entails as well as getting CBT. All the things you have described are typical of this condition - they are straight out of a textbook. When you read up on OCD, you will understand why you are having the thoughts. Often, they play on our deepest fears. OCDers are opposite of what these thoughts are (they wouldn't act on them). If what I have learnt about OCD is true and what present literature says about the subject, God is not going to be angry or offended at all (as you don't mean the thoughts). They happen to alot of religious people, you would be surprised how common it is.

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I agree with other posters that you would benefit from seeking professional help from a psychologist via your GP if you can. What you have described sounds like you are experiencing intrusive thoughts (which are actually very common) but understandably can be disheartening given their intensity. Contrary to other posts, it would only be classed as OCD if you are having these thoughts prior to feeling like you need to undertake a certain action/job I.e. flicking the light switch a certain number of times or until it feels 'right'. Intrusive thoughts can occur without the compulsive part of OCD. Furthermore, CBT is helpful but is one of many therapies designed to overcome such problems and as long as you go in motivated to overcome this, with Maharaja's Kirpa you will undoubtedly succeed :)

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Yes profesional help is needed.

to me it sound like schizoprania, especially because you wish for bad things to happen.

Schizopranics have thoughts where they wish to hurt themselves or others.

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not offence not2cool2argue but i dont think you should be handing out advice if you cant spell schizophrenia

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I agree with other posters that you would benefit from seeking professional help from a psychologist via your GP if you can. What you have described sounds like you are experiencing intrusive thoughts (which are actually very common) but understandably can be disheartening given their intensity. Contrary to other posts, it would only be classed as OCD if you are having these thoughts prior to feeling like you need to undertake a certain action/job I.e. flicking the light switch a certain number of times or until it feels 'right'. Intrusive thoughts can occur without the compulsive part of OCD. Furthermore, CBT is helpful but is one of many therapies designed to overcome such problems and as long as you go in motivated to overcome this, with Maharaja's Kirpa you will undoubtedly succeed :)

But the fact that he is having intrusive thoughts non stop could actually be seen as a form of compulsion itself. He may be bringing up the thoughts (without knowing it) to know that he can have them and not act on them. (In a sense testing without actually knowing he is testing). This may or may not be the case. OCD can get very very complicated. However, the fact that he is apologising to God each time he is having them could be a compulsion in itself. A compulsion in OCD is not always something physical. My sister has OCD too and each time she has an intrusion, she does a certain number of mool mantras. Prayer is good but if you are doing it each time there is an intrusive thought or belief, you could actually be reinforcing the intrusive thoughts and guaranteeing that they come back. This sounds like a classic case of OCD to me.

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Yes profesional help is needed.

to me it sound like schizoprania, especially because you wish for bad things to happen.

Schizopranics have thoughts where they wish to hurt themselves or others.

This does not sound like schizophrenia. For schizophrenia to be present, one would need to have a whole load of other things going on such as hearing voices, being deluded etc. It sounds like intrusive thoughts which have developed into an obsessive compulsive disorder problem.

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Set up an appointment with a therapist and see what they think. In the mean time, relax. There is no such "God" judging you or your thoughts. That is all in your mind. Accept yourself, be calm, let the thoughts run through and let them go. When you feel disturbed, take a little time to sit quietly, breath deeply and very slowly, and just listen to and focus on your breath.

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I think it would be interesting to know more about the behaviour that you do/thought that you have after thinking these things about God as its not been clear in the original post. At the end of the day its not so much about being a given a diagnosis but about you recognising there is a way out. Good luck :)

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sounds like you have some bad karams / habits that cause some rather nasty and intrusive thoughts. keep doing seva simran and satsangat and over time they will decrease. the key is, focus on bani, not on the bad thoughts. let the bad thoughts come and go as they please. if you try to suppress them they will likely increase. so ignore them and keep the focus on naam. thoughts in and of themselves do not have much power. over time they will decrease and even go away. it may help you to find some activity that requires disciplining the mind. for example, you may have noticed that such thoughts are much less during exam time. this is b/c studying is a tapasya and helps to purify the mind. attending sangat regularly is huge. asking for maafi for the thoughts is a good idea, however, don't stress over it b/c it truly is not in your hands. just keep making efforts and LIVE YOUR LIFE and over time they'll go away without you needing to worry about them.

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