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Serious Problem In Family About Me


SSingh96
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Vaheguru Jee Ka Khalsa

Vaheguru Jee Ki Fateh

Having a serious problem with my family especially my dad so basically my dad ties like a siddi dastaar like a triangle one then on the otherhand i want to tie a dumalla but my dad is totally against it saying he would throw me out the house if i started tying it.

Secondly I want to go to rehansbhais but my dad is completley against me going i went to last year manchester rehansbhai after asking for about 6 months.

Thirdly my dad doesnt want me to wear a bana but i want to wear one.

Also my dad dosent like me wearing kirpan.

What can i do sadh sangat im only 16 years old and i have been wanting to start wearing bana and tie dumalla and take amrit since i was 14 but my parents arent letting me and if i do they will throw me out the house :'(

What should i do please help

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although you will hardly take my advice here i go anyway;

1. Its your duty to respect your fathers wishes

2. This is hardly a serious issue as compared to say say violence/alcoholism

3. If your wearing a simple nok dastar stops fighting in your home then just wear a simple nok dastar, a dumalla or a nok dastar are both acceptable

4. Wear your siri sahib under your clothes hence it is not visible

5. If your father doesnt want you staying up all night at rehnasbhai just go for a littlw while say till 9pm the come home - there are usually divaans every day at the Gurdwara, nobody will go to them but emphasis is placed on the annual international mega rehansabahi with the attendance of "great musicians"

The bottom line is that you are young and hence your parents tend to be more over powering wait till your say 23/24 they will chillout, in the mean time accept your fathers wishes and do ardas and kamai before Satguru Siri Guru Gobind Sahib Ji that he may give your parents higher thinking.

SSingh96, the above is possibly the best advice anyone can give you. Your young, 16, your parents want to control your every action for what they see as your own sake. been there, worn the t-shirt.

Dumalla or nok dastar, a dastar is a dastar veer. If your parents want you wearing a 'tradtional punjabi' dastar then go with that. its not about looks veer. Keep your parents happy and slowly they'll 'back off'. and dont worry, im sure your parents wont throw you out of the house...heard this threat as a youth many times haha...

As for your sri sahib and rehnsbhai, PAL 07 gives you the best advice.

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Waheguru.

Singh, don't panic or get yourself down over this. Trust me i speak from experiance as i went through exactley the same situation. PAL 07 paa ji's advice is the best .

My dad used to say i can not grow my dhara when i was in my late teens. Stick to your ardas and keep faith. What ever you do DO NOT ARGUE with your parents.

I now have a Full Dhara. Wear a Dhammala with Shastar in it and best of all my dad has started to grow his Dhara as well !!!!!!!

These are all challenges from Maharaj to see how much we really want it!!

Maharaj Kirpa !!!

WAHEGURU JI KA KHALSA WAHEGURU JI KI FATEH !!!!!!!!!!

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although you will hardly take my advice here i go anyway;

1. Its your duty to respect your fathers wishes

2. This is hardly a serious issue as compared to say say violence/alcoholism

3. If your wearing a simple nok dastar stops fighting in your home then just wear a simple nok dastar, a dumalla or a nok dastar are both acceptable

4. Wear your siri sahib under your clothes hence it is not visible

5. If your father doesnt want you staying up all night at rehnasbhai just go for a littlw while say till 9pm the come home - there are usually divaans every day at the Gurdwara, nobody will go to them but emphasis is placed on the annual international mega rehansabahi with the attendance of "great musicians"

The bottom line is that you are young and hence your parents tend to be more over powering wait till your say 23/24 they will chillout, in the mean time accept your fathers wishes and do ardas and kamai before Satguru Siri Guru Gobind Sahib Ji that he may give your parents higher thinking.

Great advice from Pal 07 paaji...

I would also say that try and find commonalities with your family, not just differences. It sounds like you are on a good path, so try and help others join you on that path and you will enjoy the journey more. Try and help your dad see the error of his thinking by "positive actions" not just by rebelling against everything he says, just because "you want to do it your way". The power of Gurbani and Ardaas will help in so many ways, so practice, practice, practice and practices every moment you get some "you time".

Waheguru's kirpa young brother!

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