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Help... Social problem, feel lonely( No friends)?


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WJKK WJKF Sangat ji,

I don´t want to sound like a pansy, so please try to undersand me...

I am 17 year old keshdhari boy liviing outside UK, canada( outside Sikh populated country)... I am the only Sikh boy at my school and locally.. In my live I only almost had Gore/ arabic/ turkey friends etc.. not really sikh firends.. and everything was fine until 3years ago .. I had many friends at my school and in my class and stuff.. we all were close and had lot of fun until e graduate and splitted up.. After that all got worse.. I often felt lonely.. and noone could really understand me.. I don´t know it was like the happiness in my life was gone.. So I come closer to Sikhi - and after some time this happiness come back.. I did many of researcha and stuff... And I almost agreed with everythin in Sikhi.. But sincec last -4 months this happiness is gone again.. I often feel lonely .. and like I have no real/true friends that understand me and that I can talk to.. I have some close friends but we rarely meet.. only 1- 2 x in a month.. and if we meet we just watch a movie or stuff... but don´t talk about deeper things like we did before.. It is like we drift apart.. I knew them for about 7-8 years know.. and since we split up after school.. we rarely met.. and so we drifted apart... It is like.. I want a person I can share my thoughts view and feelings with and have lots of fun...I am usually a crazy funny guy.. but in the last years my mood was very depressive... I never went out... only 2-3 in a months... I am just sitting in front of the computer.. and surfing web and all the stuff.. So I thought I can mae some friends in the Gurudwara.. maybe they feel like me .. Although we are a small community here... I think they must went´some other brothers must went through this as well... So I started having some conversation with other sikh boys.. The problem is that there aren´t many.. and if there are some they have already friends.. I mean they are all close to each other , like they are in a clique or something ( the sikh boys in gurudwara).. So I tried having some good time etc.. and I had some great laughs with them.. that go on for some time about 3-4 months... But no one really wanted to meet with me... I don´t understand why.. I am not douchebag or something.. It is just like I am the fifth wheel... And they don´t want to have some one more in their "group/clique" whatever.. So I am in kinda dilemma... I have no real friends... I can met at 7 pm and relaxx out, having a conversation about life and stuff.... or something.. My mone /gore friends... become moer domestic as well.. they don´t want to meet and stuff... They rather want to play Playstation/Xbox and stuff.. So I am only at home.. and I don´t want to go out alone... I don´t know what should I do.. this makes me really upset.. I know Waheugur is everywhere... and stuf... but do you understand what I mean?

Please help...

I am grateful for all responses...

thanks....

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sBu jgu clqau pyKIAY inhclu hir ko nwau ] sabh jag chalatho paekheeai nihachal har ko naao || The entire world is seen to be passing away; only the Lord's Name is lasting and stable. kir imqRweI swD isau inhclu pwvih Twau ]4] kar mithraaee saadhh sio nihachal paavehi t(h)aao ||4|| So make friends with the Holy Saints, so that you may obtain a lasting place of rest. ||4|| mIq swjn suq bMDpw koaU hoq n swQ ] meeth saajan suth ba(n)dhhapaa kooo hoth n saathh || Friends, acquaintances, children and relatives - none of these shall be your companion. eyku invwhU rwm nwm dInw kw pRBu nwQ ]5] eaek nivaahoo raam naam dheenaa kaa prabh naathh ||5|| The Lord's Name alone shall go with you; God is the Master of the meek. ||5|| crn kml boihQ Bey lig swgru qirE qyh ] charan kamal bohithh bheae lag saagar thariou thaeh || The Lord's Lotus Feet are the Boat; attached to Them, you shall cross over the world-ocean. ByitE pUrw siqgurU swcw pRB isau nyh ]6] bhaettiou pooraa sathiguroo saachaa prabh sio naeh ||6|| Meeting with the Perfect True Guru, I embrace True Love for God. ||6||

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Guest a a sikh

ya im a rehitdhari sikh and I have like no true friends and people make fun of me and stuff but i try not to care what country are you in?? do ardaas and stay in chardi kala!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hate school i get bored at lunch lol. waheguru waheguru :)

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we all go through such phases ...i hope you are not emotionally dependent on others ,if thats the case learn to be emotionally independent and then meet other people ,you will appear more confident and satisfied with your life ,thats how i m feeling ,try to make friends with common interests and yeah ,have some self respect ,and carry on your spritiual path and you will meet your friends on the way,or u can meet new friends in gym,other hobbies ,gud luck buddy

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Hey singho don't worry about it.Friends bring you down.I dropped out years ago because I don't really need friends and education.Im just at home reading gurbani,listening to katha,etc.I have grown closer to sikhi then I have ever had.Read bani and you'll be just fine :)

Which country do you live in?

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I know wat u are going thru, it hard being alone and not havin no friends. the friends i had, dont want to know me nomore coz of my health condition, but then i think they are not friends if they dont want to know. I am kind of stuck in th middle, i am not amritdhari, so its hard to make amritdhari friends, I dont drink or go out or do much fashion like i did b4, and th other friends are either goin holidays, or want to go to pubs etc, or meet up in restaurants which i dont do.... And then there are women that have children, so i have nothin in common with them, but i try to keep myself busy throughout th day at home, there is always something to do, and in th comfort of ur own home, nobody can hurt u or say anything to offend u...which i used to get a lot, if they did not like my views on certain things or if im not modern enough for them. Im not boring its just that ppls attitudes change and there will always be somebody that comes into my life and go, rather than the same ones that stay around forever. but then i think this is gud for me, i dont have to be obliged to nobody and seen diversity of people and personalites in my life that would not have if i had friends.

Waheguru is a friend u can rely on, if u feel lonely or down, talk to them, they do listen...i even cry to them sometimes, but thats ok coz i know they are the only ones that listen to me, whereas others run away, and they are not the ones to be friends with.

Lookafter the gems and dont go looking around for stones. :waheguru:

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I know wat u are going thru, it hard being alone and not havin no friends. the friends i had, dont want to know me nomore coz of my health condition, but then i think they are not friends if they dont want to know. I am kind of stuck in th middle, i am not amritdhari, so its hard to make amritdhari friends, I dont drink or go out or do much fashion like i did b4, and th other friends are either goin holidays, or want to go to pubs etc, or meet up in restaurants which i dont do.... And then there are women that have children, so i have nothin in common with them, but i try to keep myself busy throughout th day at home, there is always something to do, and in th comfort of ur own home, nobody can hurt u or say anything to offend u...which i used to get a lot, if they did not like my views on certain things or if im not modern enough for them. Im not boring its just that ppls attitudes change and there will always be somebody that comes into my life and go, rather than the same ones that stay around forever. but then i think this is gud for me, i dont have to be obliged to nobody and seen diversity of people and personalites in my life that would not have if i had friends.

Waheguru is a friend u can rely on, if u feel lonely or down, talk to them, they do listen...i even cry to them sometimes, but thats ok coz i know they are the only ones that listen to me, whereas others run away, and they are not the ones to be friends with.

Lookafter the gems and dont go looking around for stones. :waheguru:

You and I are like peas from a pod. Keep yourself busy at home and loneliness won't touch you. I usually read books, youtube Sikhi things, try learning kirtan, listen to kathas, or just talk to family members...day passes like water from a jug to a cup.

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do none of you people have jobs lol!

singh dont worry more you worry more you will be affected by this issue. Just be yourself and friends will come trust me your young yet u have lots of people to meet in your life try going along to different things like football stuff etc stuff you can bond over!

as for clique groups in the gurdwara ive been saying for years that its the worst part of the gurdwara the singhs/snghnia all know each other and arent generally very inclusive of others. but im sure the longer u spend their the more they will include you

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Friends will come and go but Maharaj will always have your back, listen when you need someone and through Bani, Ardas and Naam simran will support you when you are sad. Go to your local Gurdwara and make friends there in sangat. Then you will have mates to 'chill' with as well as support in Sikhi. Win, win situation!

As Bhaiji above said, be yourself and don't change for the world.. Laugh and love. Life is too short to dwell on what we haven't got or who we don't have.. connect with your family and the people you already do know.

Just my two cents.. :happy2:

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