Depressive as a boy?

[Guest Senseless]

I live in Germany.... I feel ashamed to ruin the apperance of Khalsa.. that is why this paradoxical reason of Cutting Kesh entered my mind.. I seriously don´t want to cut it... This is the last culm that keeps me to SIkhi... If I am not offending anyone I am glad.. But I still have toughts of ending my life , in anyway.. I mean I everytime make a scenario in my brain ,where someone else is getting attacked or robbed... and I wouldn´t bother to jump in and give my life...

I esspecially called them Punjabis, because Punjabis are more sensible on this topic.. I myself am Punjabi ... I am not adopted or anything.. I just feel like a looser,, I mean as a BOY I got depression.... I dont understand all this.. I <banned word filter activated> try everything to get out of this but I am so tired... I mean Guru ji , is everything for me.. If I start readin Bani, I feel like someone understands me.. But when it comes to practice I fail hard... I am just like someone who can only talk... I am on counselling.. THe problem that bothers me much is that I am not going to school , or trying to avoid it as much as I can... and my teachers said if I don´t start coming to school , they will exclude me... I have a cumpolsory attendence rate..... I want to learn and go too school, I love it , but I can´t.. I feel like a [MOD EDIT].... I mean I want to be liberated from this world as fast as I can...

@Unbreakable

I can´t call Sikh Helpline... It is just to expensive, further I have an foreigner accent... Maybe they wont understand me... I would love to call... But I dont know..

I feel like a coward...

I think the world would be a better place without me...

[Guest what!!]

I feel that you have just lost hope. The last thing you want to be doing is worrying about your studies. I know from experience that studying can be quite tormenting at times but i advice you to ignore anything that makes you feel negative. Education is important but you are at a very dangerous time, youre thinking extremeley deeply. Maybe you need someone you love and close to you, like good chardikala singhz maybe.

I dont fully understand this part, you feel like your ruining the khalsa reputation, BUT, in all seriousness you have not done anything wrong!

Change your way of thinking. You dont realize how lucky you are singh, you have been blessed with amrit, you are a singh, a son of Guru Kalgidhar Maharaj. God bless you. I hope all the best for you, we are all here for you. Waheguru.

[Guest Guest]

Perhaps you could email the sikh helpline ji?

[Guest guest]

where has the boy gone????????? hellooooooo??????????

[Jangal Da]

Its good you are getting counselling - like I said, depression is usually curable, especially at your age. It seems that you are feeling so low because you cannot do your sense of Sikhi any justice. While you are depressed it will be hard and displaced guilt like this is again symptomatic of the depression. Do your Sikhi justice by pulling through it and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

Focus on the fact that it is highly likely given that this is your first presentation of the illness, your age and the reactive element of your depression (percieved lack of attainment educationally), that within 6 months you'll be in chardhi kalla again.

Now make sure you've seen your doctor and have a chat with your parents.

Fateh.

[Guest Senseless]

Hello,

thank you everybody for help,...

I am trying to change ... But I have fear.. If I stop

school I can´t participate again... Because the law here is different..

I try my best to change the way of thinkgig and stuff but I donßt know if it works... This situation is very bnad right now

[Guest learner]

I do feel that a lot of our community don’t understand depression and particurly when someone who is following the sikhi path goes through it. Going through depression can be a very lonely place and ppl can loose a lot, but just keep strong, take a step back and try to see whats good in your life and what you want to focus on and try to get away from any negativity in your life. Try to talk to ppl around you and sometimes it’s the simple things of ppl just udnerstanding what you are going through to support