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Amritdhari problems.

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I have someone close to me whose an amritdhari but he has massive anger problems. If he cannot follow rehat he blows his top, if something goes wrong he goes hulk. Yesterday something in his personal life went wrong and he said very offensive words to the Guru. He broke Rehat 4 times. In anger he ripped off his dastaar, abused Guru etc.

Hes now beginning to regret it but slowly. Hes still crying over the personal incident. What should he do? His anger is destroying him and I want to help.Does he have to go to panj Singhs and tell them what hes done? He is scared now. And how does he get rid of his anger?

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Yes he ought to talk this out with senior Sikhs especially panj pyareh who will advice him very lovingly.

However, I also suspect there are possible psychological or psychiatric issues involved here that need to be investigated. You should encourage him to go with you to his doctor and request to be seen by a psychiatrist and psychologist(this is the way you do it in UK) because you need to be referred by your GP. Getting angry and ripping turban, nxt day crying etc can be indicative of a few different disorders I prefer not to mention here. However, these are conditions that can be treated and it is free under the NHS in the UK.

Thirdly do ardas to Guru Maharaj as Gurbani teaches us ''eh bhiter te inh ko daroh, aapn nikt bolavoh'.

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Yes he ought to talk this out with senior Sikhs especially panj pyareh who will advice him very lovingly.

However, I also suspect there are possible psychological or psychiatric issues involved here that need to be investigated. You should encourage him to go with you to his doctor and request to be seen by a psychiatrist and psychologist(this is the way you do it in UK) because you need to be referred by your GP. Getting angry and ripping turban, nxt day crying etc can be indicative of a few different disorders I prefer not to mention here. However, these are conditions that can be treated and it is free under the NHS in the UK.

Thirdly do ardas to Guru Maharaj as Gurbani teaches us ''eh bhiter te inh ko daroh, aapn nikt bolavoh'.

Yes these seem to be increasing. When hes alone one minute hes fine, next hes roaring mad. But what does he do now? Do Japji Paaths and read Bani for forgiveness? Or does he have to wait for pesh?

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Yes these seem to be increasing. When hes alone one minute hes fine, next hes roaring mad. But what does he do now? Do Japji Paaths and read Bani for forgiveness? Or does he have to wait for pesh?

I would get him to see a doctor about this condition more soon than anything.

I don't think the worry should be about seeing the panj or his dharam more than gettting his medical condition addressed.

He is clinically not in a suitable state of mind and is having episodes of bipolar disorder which can get quite serious.

So before any harm is done, I you would personally see that you take him to get his condition assessed.

The welfare of his own health is th utmost priority at the moment, not the pesh or sacrilage.

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Ok I will see what I can do. He, it seems the problem started when he was told he has to go back to India to live there permanently as his parents are not residents. They have nothing, not even a house back there. He constantly did ardass and lived a or tried living a gurmukh lifestyle. It sort of worked people view him as a role model but this worry and stress has made him lose it. Biggest thing yesterday he was on about was that Waheguru never answered his prayers and wants to kill him.

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Back ground on him is that he tried living a Gurmukh lifestyle and was successful upto to an extent. Many Sikhs and non-Sikhs viewed him as a role model. Especially after taking amrit he changed. He quit pornography, excessive swearing etc. However his parents do not have residency and they are at their wits end (hes in New-Zealand) they have paid thousands upon thousands of dollars for his studies. He passed with top marks and left school but he cannot go to uni due to financial constraints. Now hes got a month left at the most in New-Zealand. He and his parents will have to go back to India, to basically nothing. No house, not even enough land. And this is where he snapped. At first it was ok he did ardass, but as time is drawing nearer he is having serious issues. Yesterday's incident was that Waheguru never answers his prayers. He then foul-mouted maharaj etc and that just made it worse. All I can think of is that if his ardass isn't granted he will probably bump a few people off and rot in jail. Hes a ticking time bomb. And when he swears or breaks rehat, it's more anger until well incidents like yesterdays one happened. He ripped off the dastaar, God knows what prevented him from taking off his other kakkars and cutting his kesh. He might one day seriously damage himself or hurt another Sikh in rage.

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He really feels betrayed by sacha patshaa.

When I say really feels, I mean that no matter what anyone says he knows you won't understand. Only he knows how much ''kamai'' he has done and shown to our Waheguru.

When something can hit a person this bad, they can easily lose it, lose all faith, lose all respect, lose dignity, and completely lose love for akaal purakh.

What you should do in this situation is prove to him that you will listen in the meantime while waiting for medical referral.

He needs to be reassured that he has NOT lost everything, and you are there to care even if he feels the lord doesn't anymore.

We ALL know the lord cares and it is all his hukam, but he is NOT going to be listening or be believing any of that with his current state of mind. So even trying to explain hukam may make him worse.

You really need to give him space and some time to listen and let him express his feelings calmly.

In most cases, they have these feelings that they can only express in anger and it is these underlying thoughts he has that he needs to bring out to someone close in a calm environment.

I hope all goes well, because I lost a dear young friend who commit suicide many years ago in a similar situation.

My regret is that I should have listened and been there.

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Veer Ji what can I do in a months time? I won't even be in India. Whats worse he doesn't get on along well with his relatives it will just be a word in the wrong place and he will be very violent. The only way I can see out is that somehow Waheguru should listen to him. Otherwise even if I take him for treatment in a month he will be gone. And in India they have barely enough money to fill their stomachs let alone go for a treatment. Yes he feels very betrayed. es gone to mahapurakhs and done what they have said but to no avail things look grim for him, and thats the crux of the situation. I believe even if he somehow gets treatment in India hes not going to respond to it.

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well

Dont stop the ardaas and have bharosa and talk to him and ask why he gets angry what light the flame?

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Guest dasguruka

Veer Ji what can I do in a months time? I won't even be in India. Whats worse he doesn't get on along well with his relatives it will just be a word in the wrong place and he will be very violent. The only way I can see out is that somehow Waheguru should listen to him. Otherwise even if I take him for treatment in a month he will be gone. And in India they have barely enough money to fill their stomachs let alone go for a treatment. Yes he feels very betrayed. es gone to mahapurakhs and done what they have said but to no avail things look grim for him, and thats the crux of the situation. I believe even if he somehow gets treatment in India hes not going to respond to it.

WaheGuru Ji Ka Khalsa WaheGuru Ji Ki Fateh!

I'm sort of in a similar situation but I think I have more than a month...not exactly sure how much longer it could drag for longer. The only difference is I don't blow up nor I blame WaheGuru for anything. I don't know how exactly I can help him but if it suits the situation then I am willing to talk to him?

I have no one back home either just a couple of Puaas. The bigger thing I see is that the family shouldn't leave the country because of him. I don't know how I can help out but maybe he could understand things or appreciate them when its coming from someone who's in a similar situation. Baaki WaheGuru is ever merciful

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Like humkire said, he should seek therapy.

However, you want to know what you can do as a friend.

It's the holiday season.

There are homeless shelters and charities working for the less fortunate.

You should both go and volunteer yourselves.

Perhaps helping people less fortunate than him, will show him that God has not forsaken him.

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WaheGuru Ji Ka Khalsa WaheGuru Ji Ki Fateh!

I'm sort of in a similar situation but I think I have more than a month...not exactly sure how much longer it could drag for longer. The only difference is I don't blow up nor I blame WaheGuru for anything. I don't know how exactly I can help him but if it suits the situation then I am willing to talk to him?

I have no one back home either just a couple of Puaas. The bigger thing I see is that the family shouldn't leave the country because of him. I don't know how I can help out but maybe he could understand things or appreciate them when its coming from someone who's in a similar situation. Baaki WaheGuru is ever merciful

I will see hes cooled down now and is doing simran and ardass.

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Like humkire said, he should seek therapy.

However, you want to know what you can do as a friend.

It's the holiday season.

There are homeless shelters and charities working for the less fortunate.

You should both go and volunteer yourselves.

Perhaps helping people less fortunate than him, will show him that God has not forsaken him.

Brilliant suggestion brother!

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