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Guest Idontknow

Help me, problem with job/interests...?

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Guest Idontknow

SSA Sangat ji...

I am still going to school making my A levels.... In the last. Recently I have many toughts about my future.. I dont really know what I want to be!! I mean I have no real interests... I just play some games on computer, and search trough Sikhi (Sikh videoes, kathas all stuff about Sikhi)after I come home from school... then I watch some youtube videos.. and the day is over.. On weeknds I go jobbing... Almost every day is the same! My grades are average/good .. I don´t study at all .. I just pay attention to the lessen.. and get my grades.. I am the kind of person who never learns or very rarely learns for tests and stuff.. And if I have to hand out homeowkr I alway do it on the deadline! For example I have to hand out an presentation at the 20.th december, I will start on the 19.th at 9 pm and will finish it at 1 -2 am .... I dont know why?!?! I try everything to do my work earlier but nothing helps... I always end up doing my work a day before deadline ! What is wrong with me?? I just browse youtube and read stuff related to Sikhi , Sikhi is my only REAL interesting... Why is this so?? I sometimes think to stop my a levels and just search for a job ... But I fear my parents.. they want me to become a docotr or stuff...

They would never accept a bad occucipation for me... but I just want to work.. I am done with school and stuff this is just annoying for me... I mean my parents would be very sad if I would become a secreterial or something like that..

I just dont know...

everything is fckd up

please help me...... and give solutions...

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I can very much relate to you as this is exactly how I felt when I went through my A'levels and through my degree and a lot of my friends who now have jobs feel exactly the same... that lack of motivation you have to do your college work etc earlier is not a rare thing... even through my degree I would only start assignments the day before and a lot my brainy friends in the morning a couple of hours before deadline!!!!

My advice... 1st - Carry on with your A'levels. Work as hard as you can. Try your best to the extent that you wont ever look back and regret the lack of effort you put in! Believe me... having good A'levels is very important!!!

2nd - You are too young to think about what you are going to become, especially if academically you are lacking motivation. When applying at University pick a subject you are passionate about... now you said Sikhi... you can link Sikhi to a Politics Degree, Journalism, International Relations, Media... remember at uni you have a dissertation so you can always link it back to Sikhi... use your passion for Sikhi and channel it into academics! But remember to fully look at what Uni you are applying to and what the course structure is like that allows you to do this!

3RD - AND VERY IMPORTANT!!! Get a part time job... in anything and try and "move yourself up" try and get promoted... work like a dog during summer holidays maxing out on hours, 40 +.... NOW,even if you do manage to get a job in this tough jobs market you will come to the realisation that isn't so easy doing a job that requires low qualifications with very low wages... you feel f'ed up with A'levels and college? Just try and imagine working minimum 9-5 being treated like dirt doing very menial or intensive physical/mental work for little money that gets taxed....BUT you need to do this experience because you will have this attitude as most teenagers do to just give up on education and you can just work and it cant be that bad! I took a year out before I went Uni and it was the biggest kick up my backside when I realised I needed to educated because I was getting nowhere with the crappy job I was doing... hardly had savings and couldn't get anywhere else with no qualifications...

You may come across people that have become successful without qualifications but in this day and age they are the exception... Stick at it and try and get a part time job... then you will appreciate what college/uni can do for you!

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Don't give up on your A levels. Push yourself. Around 2.5 million 16-24 year olds are unemployed. Its hard to get jobs without grades. Even cleaners need to have good grades these days! If you want a good life for your parents and yourself do well at school. You must have been on work experience. I found mine really boring, doing the same routine crappy jobs every day. If Sikhi is your biggest interest do a job where Sikhi can play a large role. Maybe go to the gurdwara, help the elderly sangat, talk to them. This is good experience. Keep yourself occupied rather than bumming around all day. I think Sikhi is really pushing me to do well, motivating me. I want to go into medicine, its my aim to go to Punjab and other impoverished countries and set up medical camps etc there. Perhaps, you could do something like this. Your grades are good, carry on.

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Dearest _Idontknow_,

First of all I pray to Gurujee to guide you in your life because you are young and confused about education and the future. I come from a background where I was very very involved with Sikh youth camps at your stage. Almost all the Sikh youths I knew were so involved in Sikhism so they had a clean life, no drugs, smoking, alcohol etc and so they were able to focus on their studies and most of them became graduates, doctors, lawyers, engineers etc because when you are not in bad company doing wrong things your mind is clean, body is strong , and good friends to encourage you on, so you wont miss school and colege and will be good at school and do well.

Also, I am so happy you posted on this site because there are so many people on this site who dont know you, but really love you deeply as their younger brother and will help you. That is a fact. So keep posting and you will get a lot of help here. You have many many experienced veerjees and bhenjees on this site who will take care of you.

As you said earlier after you get back from school you love to see Sikh videos etc. This is very very good. Hopefully you can also go to gurdwara regularly, start to learn tabla or harmonium so you have some music hobbies and learn punjabee and how to read Gurbanee, attend rehnsbhaeees, kirtan darbars, simran sessions, youth programmes etc so you are making many new Sikh friends everywhere and learning and progressing in Sikhism. I think there are Sikh youth camps in UK but you can find out.

As for your studies I completely understand you because I used to be the same. Coming back home and lazy to do my homework, always doing it last minute and passing it up last minute. I was not clever in organising myself and my dad thought I was studying but I was reading books on Sikhism every night haha. However, I passed my A levels because I studied very very hard last minute so I went to university. So my advice is try to carry on doing your A levels.

In the gym I go to there is an English white guy called Alex who is 17 years old. He told me he prefers to build his muscles at the gym every evening but I advised him to carry on doing that, but also to study and pass his two AS subjects he is repeating, and the other A 2 level subjects he is doing this year. So hopefully you too can pull yourself together and pass your A levels I did. Then you can think of uni.

Also, you have not mentioned about any physical activities you do. If you are already not doing it, make sure you are learning swimming, and going to a gym , learning martial arts like gatka, TKD, etc because a Sikh has to be strong not just in mind but body too. It will help you to play less computer games. A university student who works for me and is doing his Masters in Mathematics, does cross country running, rock and mountain climbing, swimming, marathons and so many other physical activities. Another guy who works for me does kayaking, rowing and water polo etc. So you need to be absolutely physically active. If I met you I would like you to have strong muscles all around your body and look brave like a soldier.

So, do not worry about your future. I never think much of my future because I always concentrate on doing the right thing TODAY, NOW. Today, I made sure I did my aquafit and swimming and gym and today I made sure my business is running fine and today I prayed to God, and today I made sure I helped and showed love to other people. Gurujee will look after tomorow if I am good today.

So, my dearest brother, focus on being physically strong, get close to Sikhism and push yourself to carry on studying. You are not done in studies yet and seriously everything is not destroyed for you, because you are only around 17 like a spring chicken haha.

Studies in any subject are absolutely interesting because they tell us about God's power, and how God does things and makes the universe. So think of your studies in a different way. As we study each subject our mind gets to understand how great God is and what a great scientist, mathematician, doctor, engineer and architect God is. All those chemicals you study about in chemistry, and how plants and other living things are created and live in biology and all the laws in physics and the beauty of this planet in geography and the history of everything in history. Sikhism encourages us to learn about the beauty and power of God and how He does things. It is very fascinating. I wish I understood this when I was your age then I would have found school so much more exciting and would have been gagging to go to school every day in stead of pretending to be sick hehe.

So do not ever worry about the future. Just make your life more exciting and interesting now. You will be fine. Keep typing here too as you progress.

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Check out alan watts audio - if there was no money

at the end of the day studying isnt for everyone, the wost thing we do as punjabis is compare our kids to each other and the one who became a doctor wins

you should look at experiencing life and seeing what you do like doing, as alan watts says its absolutely stupid to carry on doing something you dont like to carry on living to carry on doing something you dont like!

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And as to what ''kullykhalsa'' has said, yes sometimes we have to abandon that which is no use to us, but we have to be sure it is really of no use to us. When I was in my late teens, I too got very fed up of studying and felt confused and went to a gyani who I respected a lot. He said, no, my son you should finish your studies and do your exams and then we can discuss this again. I finished my studies on his advice and today I am so thankful I took this gyani's advice and continued studying.

When you are in your late teens around 17/18/19/20/21 your body and mind are undergoing 'volcanic eruptions style' fast upheavels and changes because from a boy you are fast becoming a man. The main switches of your genetic control board are flickering fast, old ones are getting turned off and new ones are getting switched on and new hormones begin to flood your brains and body. Your physio-psychological make up starts to change. Acne starts appearing on the face, hair starts growing every where, and muscles too, the voice deepens and the face starts becoming rugged. All these changes are not only in the body but mind too which starts thinking differently and more deeply. Thus it is a period where you can feel confusion and start thinking about your future as a man. This is because you are switching from thinking as a boy to thinking as a man. This can make you feel very uneasy about anything and everything, from how your parents talk to you as if you are still a child and try to control you, ... to things to do with your hobbies and studies.

Hence my humble advice is that the best way for you is to concentrate on becoming strong at all levels... physically, spiritually, intellectually, emotionally, academically so you are facing the challenges of manhood not by sitting a long time just indulging in escapism by playing long computer games and watching videos. Rather, be a strong Khalsa and focus on sports, martial arts, becoming a wonderful Sikh and talking a renewed deep interest in education. Try to focus on becoming a saint-scholar-soldier. This will take away all your confusion and make you are a very very confident, strong, happy and powerful man in the future.

Education is very very important because it enlightens you . It teaches you how to understand things, how to analyse, how to think critically and how to think logically. It teaches you about things and helps you gain knowledge and insight and gives you skills for life. So do not abandon education for anything.

In life you have to go beyond your feelings. Feelings for anything are like flirty clouds. Today I like this, tomorow that. Instead, plan for your future the Khalsa way. There are many things I do, not because I feel like it, but because I have to. In this cold UK weather we dont feel like getting up in the cold morning, and it feels like a waste of time to get up to shower and do prayers and go to school or to work but it has to be done else we will get no where. So don't go just by your feelings but be smart and think ahead and get out of your comfort zone so you are not becoming lazy and complacent. Try to switch from becoming confused to becoming motivated.

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Guest idontknow

Thank you for all your answers....I am just confused and don´t know.... I have such weird thoughts... I often ask myself - Why I am living by this system? Why I can´t be free... Without any prejudice ... God damn.... I just don´t know how to explain...

Humkire -I guess you understand me....

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