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Guest dasguruka

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru ji ki Fateh. This has been happening for ages now. i'll be happy one minute then suddenly it just hits on me and i feel extremeley down. I tr yand try to look happy and i think of happy things, but then i just give up and am back to my normal self. almost depressed. I just start missing people suddenly, not anyone, but gursikhs that i've met, like really good raagis and chardikala people, then i dont know i just cry and listen to kirtan all night. I'm an amritdhari girl, in high school starting collenge next year but i don't even want to. I mean, what if you die tomorrow then what is studying going to help me. I know these are negative thoughts, but im saying the truth, thats what i think. people do notice, like parents, and i just lie, i know thats wrong, saying im tired thats why my eyes are red, or i say i got face wash in my eyes and they're stinging. i say to my parents that im studying and i just listen to raagis hours upon end, all styles, akj, classic, tunes etc. sometimes i dont even know it and im actually crying. I do pray and do simran. i want to start learning kirtan but parents say that i have to study first. I know for a fact that im going to fail, but the worst thing is that im not even bothered, so i dont even know why i mentioned education in this post. When i sometimes see a singh or singhni in bana, ijust think wow, just feel inspired but upset that there are so many bad people in the world and poor people.

So the main thing is that i feel really down, i will just listen to lots of beraag shabads, this week i've been listenening to the history of the Sahibzade and i just cry and cry. People tell me that i am too emotional, but that isn't the case. if someone is nasty to me i do stand up to them and have had many fights, so i'm not feeling sorry for myself or anything, it is just that even when the atmosphere at the gurdwara is rally happy, and everyoone is really happy at home, i still don't feel happy. I'll google a picture of a shaheed singh and just stare at it and cry without even realising. I dont think its anything to do with beraag, becaus thats a good thing. I just feel down, and always upset. I can't remember the last time when i was smiling from inside, i just do it to make my parents think i am okay. They ask me whats wrong, but how can i tell them whats wrong when i dont even know myself what wrong. I know i sound confusing but i would like to know does anyone know whats wrong with me. i have been told to eat more and sleep more but i feel like my heart is beating really fast, consistently. i also feel really impatient sometimes, and think why don't Maharaj come back today, like right now! in the same form, and bring back all the puraatan singh with them, i dont know, just get lots of really weid feelings. i just want to catch the first flight to amritsar and hug a chardikala gursikh as hard as i can and not let them go. youcan laugh at me, but these are the things that i feel. i want to be surrounded by gursikhs for the rest of my life. i have no energy to do normal things like shopping or eating, just feel lost really. Ive just been crying a lot. i dont want people to feel sorry for me, just tell me whats wrong with me, and im not going to the doctor becaise all i will be told is to have lots of water, that doesn't help me in any form. have any of you's thought like this or felt this way maybe.

WaheGuru Ji Ka Khalsa WaheGuru Ji Ki Fateh bhenji! First of all I would like to share that I've been through the same phase and do not be discouraged or depressed. Its just a phase of spiritual realization. Instead of thinking that there is something wrong with you, think the opposite. You're on the right path! Do not go to the doctor. The body that WaheGuru Ji has blessed us with does not need anything but NAAM and NAAM only. Unless you feel there is something seriously wrong with a limb or something then you may need to go but I don't think that seems to be the case. Please do realize that we need to go through this world and still be detached. So keep up with your studies but also remember WaheGuru all the time. It seems that you are really close to the Shaheed Singhs. They have done their duty and we need to do ours! Give yourself some alone time and "listen" to yourself. Our consciousness has been conditioned by the world ever since we're born so may need to get rid of all the garbage and realize that the jot or the light that WaheGuru has placed in us is FREE from sorrow and diseases and sin! Overall I think this is just a beginning and not something that is miserably miserable. Take Care!

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thank you again, i have been doing that path aswell as others, such as malas of gurmanatar/moolmantar and even sometimes do extra japji sahibs and assa di vaar and anything i can really, i started doing ardas and i stood there for ages just crying. i do not have a clue what to do. i just feel in my own world. when no one is at home or around me i cry and scream . i just think of this for some reason, that if i cry enough at one time in one go, i wont have to cry again, but silly me doesn't realise that in reality, tears don't stop. please maharaj. i just can't forget 1984. !!!! its around new year and i still see sharabees at the gurdwara, why caant they look at all the sacrifices that Guru ji has made for us. US?? We don't evem thank him. the one who saved us! What hasn't maharaj done for us, but no. sikhs, forget the rest, SIKHS DO NOT EVEN REMEMBER HIM. Sikhi is full of shaheeds that gave up their own life, for the panth. never mind giving up our lives, we can''t even come in sikh saroop. is this not crazy? god help them stonehearted people that are born into sikhi and yet don't become part of the khalsa panth. Why/ Why don't they understand for godssake, why!! im just, i dont know, just typing without thinking , sorry, no clue

Waheguru ji ka Khalsa Waheguru ji ki fateh

The solution to your problem can be found in Japji Sahib. Kindly give greater consideration to last three tuks.

ਅਸੰਖ ਮੂਰਖ ਅੰਧ ਘੋਰ ॥ Countless fools, blinded by ignorance. ਮੂਰਖ ਅੰਧ ਘੋਰ = ਪਰਲੇ ਦਰਜੇ ਦੇ ਮੂਰਖ, ਮਹਾਂ ਮੂਰਖ। (ਨਿਰੰਕਾਰ ਦੀ ਰਚੀ ਹੋਈ ਸ੍ਰਿਸ਼ਟੀ ਵਿਚ) ਅਨੇਕਾਂ ਹੀ ਮਹਾਂ ਮੂਰਖ ਹਨ,

ਅਸੰਖ ਚੋਰ ਹਰਾਮਖੋਰ ॥ Countless thieves and embezzlers. ਹਰਾਮਖੋਰ = ਪਰਾਇਆ ਮਾਲ ਖਾਣ ਵਾਲੇ। ਅਨੇਕਾਂ ਹੀ ਚੋਰ ਹਨ, ਜੋ ਪਰਾਇਆ ਮਾਲ (ਚੁਰਾ ਚੁਰਾ ਕੇ) ਵਰਤ ਰਹੇ ਹਨ

ਅਸੰਖ ਅਮਰ ਕਰਿ ਜਾਹਿ ਜੋਰ ॥ Countless impose their will by force. ਅਮਰ = ਹੁਕਮ। ਜੋਰ = ਧੱਕੇ, ਵਧੀਕੀਆਂ। ਅਤੇ ਅਨੇਕਾਂ ਹੀ ਇਹੋ ਜਿਹੇ ਮਨੁੱਖ ਹਨ, ਜੋ (ਦੂਜਿਆਂ ਉੱਤੇ) ਹੁਕਮ ਤੇ ਵਧੀਕੀਆਂ ਕਰ ਕਰ ਕੇ (ਅੰਤ ਨੂੰ ਇਸ ਸੰਸਾਰ ਤੋਂ) ਚਲੇ ਜਾਂਦੇ ਹਨ।

ਅਸੰਖ ਗਲਵਢ ਹਤਿਆ ਕਮਾਹਿ ॥ Countless cut-throats and ruthless killers. ਗਲਵਢ = ਗਲ ਵੱਢਣ ਵਾਲੇ, ਕਾਤਲ, ਖ਼ੂਨੀ ਮਨੁੱਖ। ਹਤਿਆ ਕਮਾਹਿ = ਦੂਜਿਆਂ ਦੇ ਗਲ ਵੱਢਦੇ ਹਨ। ਅਨੇਕਾਂ ਹੀ ਖ਼ੂਨੀ ਮਨੁੱਖ ਲੋਕਾਂ ਦੇ ਗਲ ਵੱਢ ਰਹੇ ਹਨ

ਅਸੰਖ ਪਾਪੀ ਪਾਪੁ ਕਰਿ ਜਾਹਿ ॥ Countless sinners who keep on sinning. ਕਰਿ ਜਾਹਿ = ਕਰ ਕੇ (ਅੰਤ ਨੂੰ ਇਸ ਸੰਸਾਰ ਤੋਂ) ਚਲੇ ਜਾਂਦੇ ਹਨ। ਪਾਪੁ ਕਰਿ ਜਾਹਿ = ਪਾਪ ਕਮਾ ਕੇ ਅੰਤ ਨੂੰ ਤੁਰ ਜਾਂਦੇ ਹਨ। ਅਤੇ ਅਨੇਕਾਂ ਹੀ ਪਾਪੀ ਮਨੁੱਖ ਪਾਪ ਕਮਾ ਕੇ (ਆਖ਼ਰ) ਇਸ ਦੁਨੀਆ ਤੋਂ ਤੁਰ ਜਾਂਦੇ ਹਨ।

ਅਸੰਖ ਕੂੜਿਆਰ ਕੂੜੇ ਫਿਰਾਹਿ ॥ Countless liars, wandering lost in their lies. ਕੂੜਿਆਰ = ਉਹ ਮਨੁੱਖ ਜਿਨ੍ਹਾਂ ਦੇ ਹਿਰਦੇ ਕੂੜ ਦੇ ਟਿਕਾਣੇ ਬਣੇ ਪਏ ਹਨ, ਝੂਠ ਦੇ ਸੁਭਾਉ ਵਾਲੇ। ਕੂੜੇ = ਕੂੜ ਵਿਚ ਹੀ। ਫਿਰਾਹਿ = ਫਿਰਦੇ ਹਨ, ਪਰਵਿਰਤ ਹਨ, ਰੁੱਝੇ ਹੋਏ ਹਨ। ਅਨੇਕਾਂ ਹੀ ਝੂਠ ਬੋਲਣ ਦੇ ਸੁਭਾਉ ਵਾਲੇ ਮਨੁੱਖ ਝੂਠ ਵਿਚ ਹੀ ਰੁੱਝੇ ਪਏ ਹਨ

ਅਸੰਖ ਮਲੇਛ ਮਲੁ ਭਖਿ ਖਾਹਿ ॥ Countless wretches, eating filth as their ration. ਮਲੇਛ = ਮਲੀਨ ਮੱਤ ਵਾਲੇ, ਖੋਟੀ ਬੁੱਧ ਵਾਲੇ ਮਨੁੱਖ। ਖਾਹਿ = ਖਾਂਦੇ ਹਨ। ਭਖਿ ਖਾਹਿ = ਹਾਬੜਿਆਂ ਵਾਂਗ ਖਾਈ ਜਾਂਦੇ ਹਨ। ('ਭਖ' ਅਤੇ 'ਖਾਹਿ' ਦੋਵੇਂ ਸੰਸਕ੍ਰਿਤ ਦੇ ਧਾਤੂ ਹਨ, ਦੋਹਾਂ ਦਾ ਅਰਥ ਹੈ 'ਖਾਣਾ'। ਤੀਜੀ ਪਉੜੀ ਵਿਚ ਭੀ ਇਕ ਇਹੋ ਜਿਹੀ 'ਖਾਹੀ ਖਾਹਿ' ਸੰਯੁਕਤ ਕ੍ਰਿਆ ਆ ਚੁਕੀ ਹੈ)। ਅਤੇ ਅਨੇਕਾਂ ਹੀ ਖੋਟੀ ਬੁੱਧੀ ਵਾਲੇ ਮਨੁੱਖ ਮਲ (ਭਾਵ, ਅਖਾਜ) ਹੀ ਖਾਈ ਜਾ ਰਹੇ ਹਨ।

ਅਸੰਖ ਨਿੰਦਕ ਸਿਰਿ ਕਰਹਿ ਭਾਰੁ ॥ Countless slanderers, carrying the weight of their stupid mistakes on their heads. ਸਿਰਿ = ਆਪਣੇ ਸਿਰ ਉੱਤੇ। ਸਿਰਿ ਕਰਹਿ ਭਾਰੁ = ਆਪਣੇ ਸਿਰ ਉੱਤੇ ਭਾਰ ਚੁਕਦੇ ਹਨ। ਅਨੇਕਾਂ ਹੀ ਨਿਦੰਕ (ਨਿੰਦਾ ਕਰ ਕੇ) ਆਪਣੇ ਸਿਰ ਉੱਤੇ (ਨਿੰਦਿਆ ਦਾ) ਭਾਰ ਚੁੱਕ ਰਹੇ ਹਨ।

ਨਾਨਕੁ ਨੀਚੁ ਕਹੈ ਵੀਚਾਰੁ ॥ Nanak, the lowly, gives description. ਨਾਨਕੁ ਨੀਚੁ = ਨੀਚ ਨਾਨਕ, ਨਾਨਕ ਵਿਚਾਰਾ, ਗਰੀਬ ਨਾਨਕ। (ਹੇ ਨਿਰੰਕਾਰ! ਅਨੇਕਾਂ ਹੋਰ ਜੀਵ ਕਈ ਹੋਰ ਕੁਕਰਮਾਂ ਵਿਚ ਫਸੇ ਹੋਣਗੇ, ਮੇਰੀ ਕੀਹ ਤਾਕਤ ਹੈ ਕਿ ਤੇਰੀ ਕੁਦਰਤਿ ਦੀ ਪੂਰਨ ਵਿਚਾਰ ਕਰ ਸਕਾਂ?ਨਾਨਕ ਵਿਚਾਰਾ (ਤਾਂ) ਇਹ (ਉਪਰਲੀ ਤੁੱਛ ਜਿਹੀ) ਵਿਚਾਰ ਪੇਸ਼ ਕਰਦਾ ਹੈ।

ਵਾਰਿਆ ਨ ਜਾਵਾ ਏਕ ਵਾਰ ॥ I cannot even once be a sacrifice to You. (ਹੇ ਅਕਾਲ ਪੁਰਖ!) ਮੈਂ ਤਾਂ ਤੇਰੇ ਉੱਤੇਂ ਇਕ ਵਾਰੀ ਭੀ ਸਦਕੇ ਹੋਣ ਜੋਗਾ ਨਹੀਂ ਹਾਂ (ਭਾਵ, ਮੈਂ ਤੇਰੀ ਬੇਅੰਤ ਕੁਦਰਤਿ ਦੀ ਪੂਰਨ ਵਿਚਾਰ ਕਰਨ ਜੋਗਾ ਨਹੀਂ ਹਾਂ)।

ਜੋ ਤੁਧੁ ਭਾਵੈ ਸਾਈ ਭਲੀ ਕਾਰ ॥ Whatever pleases You is the only good done, ਜੋ ਤੈਨੂੰ ਚੰਗਾ ਲੱਗਦਾ ਹੈ, ਉਹੀ ਕੰਮ ਭਲਾ ਹੈ (ਭਾਵ, ਤੇਰੀ ਰਜ਼ਾ ਵਿਚ ਹੀ ਰਹਿਣਾ ਠੀਕ ਹੈ। ਤੇਰੀ ਸਿਫ਼ਤ-ਸਾਲਾਹ ਕਰ ਕੇ ਅਸਾਂ ਜੀਵਾਂ ਲਈ ਇਹੀ ਭਲੀ ਗੱਲ ਹੈ ਕਿ ਤੇਰੀ ਰਜ਼ਾ ਵਿਚ ਰਹੀਏ)।

ਤੂ ਸਦਾ ਸਲਾਮਤਿ ਨਿਰੰਕਾਰ ॥੧੮॥ You, Eternal and Formless One. ||18|| ਹੇ ਨਿਰੰਕਾਰ! ਤੂੰ ਸਦਾ-ਥਿਰ ਰਹਿਣ ਵਾਲਾ ਹੈਂ ॥੧੮॥

Waheguru ji ka Khalsa Waheguru ji ki fateh

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  • 2 weeks later...

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa
Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

Bhenji, i can totally understand you! :) I was at this stage ones! I wasnt amritdhaari but had intence longing for Waheguru, His Love, His blessings, ... and Amrit!

I would be quite the whole day, and do naam simran in mind. My parents even wanted me to take to a doctor. Let me tell you, its always good to go to doctor and counsellor (trust me) , but i knew there was no medical problem with, i was just so in love with Waheguru! I used to sing - Mera Baid Guru Gobinda ^_^ . I experienced all that because, it was just the longing of Amrit, time of adolescence where you are finding who you are and your goals!

I am proud of you!!! You, my Soul Sister, have so much pyaar for Guru Sahib! Guru ji must be very happy with you!
But Guru ji's children are always in Chardi kalla... why arent you? Guru ji's children have faith, love , acceptance of his Will and a never-ending companionship with Waheguru! You should too right?

Im telling you, get Sangat! Sangat is a huge blessing where Guru ji's children grow more pyaar together. Aee Mil Gursikh Aae mil, Tu Mere Gur Ke Pyaare :l: Go to Gurdwara Sahib and do lots and lots of Seva, see the peace that will prevail in your mind! Talk to people there, and talk about Waheguru with them!

You are at a stage where you are finding who you are finding yourself, your goals. I am happy that you love Waheguru in this age!!!! so you are developing Gursikh Values!!!

You know our soul... is God. There is no difference in God and us. BUT, because we have gathered so much karam and dirt because of maya, we have forgotten ourselves! We have forgotten that God is experienced inside, just inside.. and He is the never-ending treasure for happiness, peace , love, compassion. All these are His qualities!! That is why Gursikhs are so in Chardi kaala and have so much pyaar for everyone and never ending peace!

You are sad because your soul is sad. It has begun to realize that you are part of Waheguru, and has been separated You have to merge back in Him. This sadness comes, see you are finding yourself here. You have to know your goal in life as a Sikh.

But do you think crying in front of screen works? NO! Convert that energy to something better! Start doing Naam Simran when you feel that way! Maharaj ji is always here! What are you talking about?? Go meet Guru Granth Sahib ji and talk to them with Hukamnama and baanis! Why are you saying Guru ji isnt here!!! Read inspirational stories of Bhai Randhir Singh. Listen to a story how even in darkest jail, Bhai Sahib was still not alone, with Guru Sahib.



Just wondering, have you taken Amrit? If not, then why?
Do you wake up at Amrit vela and do full nitem? Nitnem is very important. You have lots of eneergy in yourself that you are putting towards negetive things like crying, direct this energy to build yourself! Do hours of Naam simran , (start from less time)

Another thing, to be honest, even I used to feel that why do I study? When Dharamraj is going to ask me for my accounts, it wouldnt matter how much wealth i accumulated or how many PHDs I have. It would matter if daas has enough naam simran and abheyaas. But you know, worldly studies are important too. No doubt that Gurbani abheyaas is always more important! But Guru ji will not like if we leave everything and only do paath. Remember Guru ji wants us to live in Grehast jeevan, in maaya but yet detached from it! Its amazing! And Guru Angad Dev ji gave us Gurmukhi letters! Ofcource study is important that is why Guru Sahib ji gathered those letters so the normal public understands Guru's Bani and follow it. Guru ji wanted to spread knowledge to people. One of my inspiration to work and study way, I want to be a teacher and teach at Khalsa School! This way I would be always with Guru Granth Sahib ji , and i ll get seva to teach youngsters about Waheguru! Also, I would be able to give dashwand and contribute to Panth! I want to play a part too. So study properly, Guru ji wants you to pass and be successful.

Waheguru Ang Sang!


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  • 1 year later...
Guest OhDearMe

Awwwww this is a really sweet and amazing post to read. I feel ashamed at myself when i compare myself to you. there's nothing wrong with you! You more than fine and actually your at an advantage, I really wish i could be like you. I'm just looking at myself and thinking omg why dont i feel anything when i look at the saheed singhs or the sahibzade. I do feel a sense a proudness looking at them but i WANT to feel what you are !

Also another thing to remember is the sweet shabad "thir ghar baiso har jan pyare, satgur tumre kaaj saware" (spellings may be wrong please forgive me ) This shabad basically tells us that we dont need to worry but just remain immersed in the lord and the supreme lord will sort all your other chores or work out! But this does not mean dont care about education or work ! It means remember maharaj with whatever you do .

An amazing example is Guru Nanak Dev ji who worked at that supermarket and weighed everything by saying "tera tera " Guru ji has taught us that do not renounce the world but renounce all the badness and replace it with the love of the almighty.

AND remember that Guru Hargobind ji said that we need meeri and peeri. I know in the day and age of kalyug its best we just focus on ourselves and leave the world to do as they wish but you need to remember that you need all this knowledge.

Dont leave your education think this , if you do well and get a good job then you can earn and BUY a ticket to amritsar and spend your holidays there. A really good institution for education and sikhi together is Baru sahib. Amazing kids <3

Additionally beloved sister whenever you feel that you cannot express what you feel or people tell you to go to the doctor remember the shabad "tujh bin surath karo ko meri" (again not sure about spelling ) remember this it means oh waheguru ji who else apart from you is there to look after me ?...

you have so much kirpa and this is maharaj being with you and allowing you to have the experience that others dont ( i reaaaallly wish i could feel what you are feeling ) so your lucky

finally THANK YOU ! reading your post has just help me think things through and reflect on myself as ego follows us around and we begin to get the sense sometimes that we a awesome but actually theres better people out there and always someone you can aspire to . Also keep away from ego because like it says in baani with haumai everything is wasted and you get no reward for sewa or paath that is done with haumai .

Gid bless you sweet sister, Im sorry for any mistakes

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  • Posts

    • yeh it's true, we shouldn't be lazy and need to learn jhatka shikaar. It doesn't help some of grew up in surrounding areas like Slough and Southall where everyone thought it was super bad for amrit dharis to eat meat, and they were following Sant babas and jathas, and instead the Singhs should have been normalising jhatka just like the recent world war soldiers did. We are trying to rectifiy this and khalsa should learn jhatka.  But I am just writing about bhog for those that are still learning rehit. As I explained, there are all these negative influences in the panth that talk against rehit, but this shouldn't deter us from taking khanda pahul, no matter what level of rehit we are!
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