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Suffering from depression


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duKu dwrU suKu rogu BieAw jw suKu qwim n hoeI ]
dhukh dhaaroo sukh rog bhaeiaa jaa sukh thaam n hoee ||
Suffering is the medicine, and pleasure the disease, because where there is pleasure, there is no desire for God. ang 469

You can read all the Gurbani you want, but it all depends on what you want in life. If you want worldly things then you will always be depressed. No doubt Gurbani heals all mental and physical wounds, especially Sukhmani Sahib. However Gurbani teaches the essence to life is to live for Maharaj. The above tuk can be understood in the most simplest way. When we fall (get depressed) then we remember God to help us out and when God gives us everything then we don't even say God's name by mistake. Go deeper with this tuk by asking yourself what is true pleasure and true suffering? Gursikhs will tell you even though they practice rehat to the fullest and are singing Maharaj's name 24/7, they are still suffering because their atma and God have not become one; are closer, but they don't want closer, they want Maharaj. Everyone else looks at them and says, what they got to worry about........Maharaj has done so much kirpa on them.........you don't need to do seva and simran all day...........we can take breaks. To truly understand Gurbani we need to step outside of ourselves (not follow, ignore the mind) and jump into Guru Sahib's lap (understand we are children of Maharaj and have no knowledge about how to live).

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VJKK VJKF

I feel more confused than ever before. I want this atma to be at one with maharaj... anything less is not enough but that i feel is up to maharaj.

the part i am really struggling with is desire for worldly things because we all have basic needs to survive food, water, shelter etc. we need jobs or some form of income to pay for such things long term anyway and well our guru's themselves had wives, children etc. it is my understanding that we have to marry so that we can continue the faith, if i had children, in my mindset they would be born and brought up to serve maharaj. so now is that a worldly desire?

i dont doubt i have worldly desires.. but what makes something a worldly desire? i just dont understand, should we be living in huts with just the basic essentials and have no desire for anything that is above essential?

I am not expecting all my pain and suffering to disappear, i would imagine that the more gurbani you read, the better you are at, with coping with lifes battles. i dont know how u can forget maharaj when he is there 24/7 but then what do i knw.

so kor bisarai jin sabh kuch deheea

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It is all about what you want and what you make of it.

Only five has given you a valid explanation above, I don't know what is confusing you about that ?

Everything, including how your income and raising your family come in, is all part of his Hukam.

You have to learn to let it be that way and let the hukam dictate. It's when we think that it is all our freewill, that we start to feel all the burden and problems. Because it is not our freewill it is ALL him and his hukam.

Accept and deal with whatever comes your way, is the way forward.

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VJKK VJKF

I feel more confused than ever before. I want this atma to be at one with maharaj... anything less is not enough but that i feel is up to maharaj.

the part i am really struggling with is desire for worldly things because we all have basic needs to survive food, water, shelter etc. we need jobs or some form of income to pay for such things long term anyway and well our guru's themselves had wives, children etc. it is my understanding that we have to marry so that we can continue the faith, if i had children, in my mindset they would be born and brought up to serve maharaj. so now is that a worldly desire?

i dont doubt i have worldly desires.. but what makes something a worldly desire? i just dont understand, should we be living in huts with just the basic essentials and have no desire for anything that is above essential?

I am not expecting all my pain and suffering to disappear, i would imagine that the more gurbani you read, the better you are at, with coping with lifes battles. i dont know how u can forget maharaj when he is there 24/7 but then what do i knw.

so kor bisarai jin sabh kuch deheea

Think back to when you were a little kid and you wanted something, which your parent did not provide as they knew it would only hurt you. I did not tell you or ask you to stop drinking water or don't marry. However let's take your water example. Since you're much older than me you would know drinking too much water is bad for your health. So would you offer your kids buckets of water and tell them go for it? Same goes with food. Also marrying the wrong woman can also be bad in various ways. We punjabis have a saying about a wife..............either she can make a house or break it. Think of your body as a house, would you invite something in your house that will cause you depression (ego) after taking medicine (Gurbani)?

What you are struggling with is not stress or depression. You are struggling with ego. You state above that I need this i need that. Okay fair enough, but who told you that you need it? I'm not saying you do this, but speaking in general. When a Sikh does not want to do something they state its up to Maharaj. However when their mind feels like doing something then they don't say its up to Maharaj. The Sikh goes out and does it. How come they do this? Again speaking in general, when it comes to taking a shot of alcohol its my mind feels like doing it..........party time bro But when it comes taking Amrit, then its.................thats up to Maharaj............Maharaj has not blessed me with kirpa.

Many people of today think that they can live in luxury and still follow Maharaj. All the Gursikhs that i have met live simple lives. They might have millions in their bank accounts, but not one person would say this Gursikh is wealthy. They are the dust of everyone's feets because they follow Maharaj's Hukam. If you sit with Gursikhs and hear them speak they will never say i need this or that. All they will say is I need Maharaj Darshan, Gurmukh pyares darshan to show me the way, sadh sangat so I can do their seva. Even when they state this.............they are following rehat to the fullest.

What are you worried about? Does a 6 month old baby worry about getting fed, it lays there shaking his little hands and feet in enjoyment? Maharaj told us three things: make a honest living, provide time for selfless service, and biggest task of them all meditate on Maharaj. While doing these be that 6 month old Baby enjoying the task. You'll find out very quickly, which you already have most likely, that the mind hates doing these three things............its like eating saag without mukhni or butter in it. Instead the mind wants delicious meals, a highing paying job to purchase nice things, good looking wife to stare at and the list goes on.

The ego has its own personality..................you don't give it what it wants, then it makes you suffer through depression. Give it what it wants and it makes you suffer in the long run.......get addicted and depend on many things to function in life. Satguru says don't fight it and don't suppress it. Buddha at first gave into the ego and had every luxury in life, but this made him depressed and did not satisfy his inner quench. So he went out and tried to destroy the ego. He tried many things, from hurting the mind and body to depriving the mind and body. The ego did not go away, but just got stronger. So instead Buddha sat and listened to what the ego wanted. Buddha had a conversation with the ego and the ego started to calm down and listen to Buddha. But the ego being the ego it wanted power over Buddha. Buddha sitting in meditation, the ego appeared as a demon. The demon wanted a fight. Buddha trying to speak with the ego and was telling it I don't want to fight. But the ego was not backing down. Buddha thought about ignoring it, but the ego got stronger. So he stepped back and acknowledged it. He thought about fighting it with the sword. After a while Buddha tapped the ground he was sitting on and the ego disappeared. If he had fought with the ego, then he would have lost because in the process of defeating the ego he would have thought I have defeated the ego. Instead Buddha tapped the ground truly acknowledging their is something bigger than me and that is nirvanna. Although Buddha said all desires are the problem, even the desire for God, but we can learn from his dealing of the ego. Just that Satguru says, saying all desires are the problem, is the ego. Satguru says to fix this, ask for what I tell you to ask for through Gurbani.

Best source to understand what is a worldly desire, ask Maharaj by contemplating over Gurbani.

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Dear Bhenji/Bhaji

To be fairly honest, meditation has helped me a lot. The reason being that it helps to de-clutter the mind and be able to focus on the stuff you really want to do.

The following links have been really helpful for me:

http://www.personal-development-coach.net/about.html

When I began meditating, especially with the motive to de-clutter my mind, I found it harder to concentrate on 'Waheguru', instead either observing the thoughts or completely ignoring them was a bit easier for me.
Do give it a try. :hug:

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Will recommend a few more things -

1. Try caffeine free Tulsi tea for stress relieving & energising. http://www.organicindia.com/organic-tulsi-teas.php'>http://www.organicindia.com/organic-tulsi-teas.php

2. As suggested go for long walk in the park. Fresh air and greenery has a positive effect on both mind & body.

3. Once in a while go to an expensive restaurant (enjoy good food & service).

4. Read jokes (laughter is the best medicine) http://www.unp.me/f36/and-2608-and-2673-and-2604-and-2622-and-2606-and-2631-and-2608-and-2631-and-2584-and-2608-and-2596-and-2635-and-2562-and-2581-and-2632-and-2600-and-2631-and-2593-and-2622-and-2596-and-2581-and-2616-and-2652-and-2581-and-2604-and-2595-and-2622-and-2598-and-2631-a-203117/

5. Check out women equals to problem page http://www.probabilityof.com/ICON/MATH.jpg'>http://www.probabilityof.com/ICON/MATH.jpg

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  • 2 weeks later...

worldly desires are ok for our current spiritual level. we need to eat, we need clothes, we need to pay our bills etc. nothing wrong with that. when we desire more than what we need, sometimes that can cause problems. we rise above desire through simran, seva, sadhsangat. but even then, until we reach a certain spiritual level, desires will come up automatically b/c of our past lives karmas. it's ok and nothing to worry about. there's nothing wrong with giving yourself an appropriate worldly reward if you wish, or pursuing an appropriate worldly desire. an example is pursuit of the desire to become a doctor.

the key message here is to understand that any lasting happiness will not come from the world and fulfillment of worldly desires. lasting happiness will come from dharm.

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worldly desires are ok for our current spiritual level. we need to eat, we need clothes, we need to pay our bills etc. nothing wrong with that. when we desire more than what we need, sometimes that can cause problems. we rise above desire through simran, seva, sadhsangat. but even then, until we reach a certain spiritual level, desires will come up automatically b/c of our past lives karmas. it's ok and nothing to worry about. there's nothing wrong with giving yourself an appropriate worldly reward if you wish, or pursuing an appropriate worldly desire. an example is pursuit of the desire to become a doctor.

the key message here is to understand that any lasting happiness will not come from the world and fulfillment of worldly desires. lasting happiness will come from dharm.

I understand ... thanks for putting it clear and concise... and I totally agree.

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