Her dad want's true sikh

[Guest Arjun Monga]

Sat Shri Akal ji..
i love a girl whose family is sikh , even she's Amrit thari(chhulla basically). And my family is arora , we basically go to gurudwara sahib , we even do path of japji sahib and we also go to madir.
Basically we follow sikh religion , though am not the true sikh because i don't have long hair and wear tuban , but what i believe is

" kite pandit kre bakhan,
kite monna thari lave thyan "

i really wanted to marry this girl , she also love me very much , we are in relation from 3 years, but we hav'nt done anything yet because we want that " whatever we'll do , we should do after marriage with complete right " . But i know her parents wont agree.
Her dad wants to marry her in true sikh family because he don't want her daughter to loose her sikhism(which she wont and i wont let her , but still parents would be worried because its their daughter's life).
i just want her dad to understand us... so pls tell me how can i make him understand us
help us plz!

[Mehtab Singh]

This is something your parents and her parents need to meet up and seriously talk about. Have you told your parents? Has she told hers? A 3-year relationship is not worth it if it means hurting the sentiments of your and her parents and offending both family's religious convictions as well. Everyone would want to marry their son/daughter within the same faith, and why shouldn't they? You both need to decide what is your priority in life. Religion (which you got from your parents?), or each other (who you know only for 3 years).

[savinderpalsingh]

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa !!

Waheguru ji Ki Fateh !!

If her Dad is an Amrit Dhari

38th hukam of Sri Guru Gobind Singh ji from 52 hukams

38)- Sir munae noo kanaiaa nahi daeni. Uos ghar daevni jithae Akal Purukh di sikhi ha, jo karzaai naa hovae, bhalae subhaa da hovae, bibaeki atae gyanvaan hovae - Do not given a daughter's hand to a clean shaven. Give her hand in a house where God's Sikhi exists, where the household is not in debt, is of a good nature, is disciplined and knowledgeable.

I am sorry i do not want to be rude but this is a hukam

if her dad abides by all 52 of them he wont do it

Also , An Amritdhari cannot have a physical relation if his/her partner is not amritdhari.

[Raaj.Karega.Khalsa]

Bhaji,

I think you meant these tuks:

ਕਬਹੂ ਹੋਇ ਪੰਡਿਤੁ ਕਰੇ ਬਖ੍ਯ੍ਯਾਨੁ ॥

Sometimes, as scholars, they deliver lectures.

ਕਬਹੂ ਮੋਨਿਧਾਰੀ ਲਾਵੈ ਧਿਆਨੁ ॥

Sometimes, they hold to silence in deep meditation.

I don't mean to put you down bhaji...but the word mondhaari is for one who practices silence. It doesn't mean the punjabi word monna.

Bhaji, what the above post states is actually true. The Amritdhari dad isn't really supposed to give his daughter away to someone who doesn't practice rehat etc.

[Guest guest]

Nothing is wrong with them marrying because she has only had chulla. Not full amrit so there should be nothing wrong. I think what the family have a problem with is you going to the mandir. I am not causing conflict or anything, but in todays day and age we all sikhs have a full understanding of issues such as 1984 and what hindus did to us, even though it wasn't all of them. Personally I would be deeply hurt of my child was in relation with hindu/muslim.

So if you have love for sikhism you wwill not be able to even think of going to worship for another religion. If you stop going to the mandir and take chulla aswell that is absoluteley fine. Also, chulla means you have o keep as much rehat as you possibly can, even though it is not full amrit shakna.

[nanosecond]

If you love her truly and you said you anyways follow Sikhism, then become a true Sikh. Whats stopping you? I think her dad wont have issues if you show him your true love for his daughter as well as Sikhism.

[Mehtab Singh]

If you love her truly and you said you anyways follow Sikhism, then become a true Sikh. Whats stopping you? I think her dad wont have issues if you show him your true love for his daughter as well as Sikhism.

Not sure if its the right way to come into Sikhi if its because of a girl he is in love with? We don't refrain from degrading our own Sikh boys/girls when they convert to other faiths due to romantic relationships, so lets not bend the rules when the tables have turned.

[nanosecond]

I agree with you Mehtab veerji. I guess this is really a difficult situation for everybody. Seems like everybody is correct. Somebody somewhere will have to make a compromise.

[Guest singh]

In the end please don't hurt the parents sentiments. Over time I've realized that religion/tradition lost over love/friendship isn't really worth it. Been through process. In a tough situation brother. Do ardas before WaheGuru!

[Raaj.Karega.Khalsa]

Not sure if its the right way to come into Sikhi if its because of a girl he is in love with? We don't refrain from degrading our own Sikh boys/girls when they convert to other faiths due to romantic relationships, so lets not bend the rules when the tables have turned.

Mehtab Singh Bhaji,

Although I clearly agree with what you've said, as I've 'liked' the post as well....I simply couldn't stop thinking about this video that was linked onto Gurmat Bibek forum.

Don't get me wrong bhaji, it's a very inspirational video but Bhai Saheb ji say that after a month of keeping bibek, his body got weaker than before....also because he didn't know how to cook very well. So, after someone's advice, his mata ji got Amrit as well...so that Bhai saheb would agree to eat the food prepared my his mother.

Now, I'm totally not saying it's wrong. In fact it is wonderful....like bhai saheb explain in the video that because of Bibek his mother got Amrit...then his father...then brother....and now 11 members of the family are Amritdhaari and strictly Sarbloh bibeki.

What I can't stop thinking about is...that Bhai Saheb ji's mother also got Amrit coz of the reason stated above?

Would it be wrong?

The final outcome's amazing! But that single decision that mata ji made, to take amrit...so that she could feed Bhai saheb....I dunno.... What are your views about it?

Hope I made a bit sense to get my point across. :huh2: