The <banned word filter activated> Shaming of Sikh Sisters by their own Sikh Brothers.

[Jonny101]

Living a life of Rehit is not the path of least resistance, it is the harder path. As such, individuals will embrace it to the degree that they feel that they can manage, and with Mahraj's grace will do better over time. Common sense would be to encourage those who wish to walk that path, and respectfully disagree with those that don't. Ultimately ones Rehit, or lack thereof is between the individual and Mahraj. Ultimately it is nobody else's business (unless of course the individual tries to misrepresent Sikhi, in which case an intelligent discussion is the way forward).

Too often people young and old take it upon themselves to be the Panthic morality police and conduct themselves in a way that simply makes them bullies. I have witnessed this first hand, and was surprised to have a young Amritdhari Singh who was too young to have any sign of a Daari refuse a handshake and haughtily inform me that it was "against his Maryada". He then went on to ask me where my Kirpan was, why it wasn't worn outside of my clothes, told me that my Daara should always be Prakaash and proceeded to sound off about how Sikh women dress "like Christmas trees" by wearing make up and jewellery , Facebook is for "Besharams"; and that was just him getting warmed up. This was clearly one deeply unhappy kid who was much more focused on hiding his insecurities from the world than anything else. It did not surprise me to later learn that he hand engaged in a campaign of terror against a young girl of similar age (whose Rehit did not meet his standards) by isolating her from her friends in Sangat. What he seemed to miss was that she was trying to move towards Mahraj, and he was doing a great job of pushing her the other way.

Having observed this behaviour in numerous different people, I can't help but feel there is the element of jealousy hiding under the self righteousness. Walking the path of Sikhi puts an individual in the minority. We experience judgement and prejudice from both inside the community and the world at large. It is natural that some people feel disadvantaged by the challenges that come attached to the unique roop Mahraj has blessed us with. Things may feel unfair, and people start to think "If I have it tough, why should they have it easy?".

I have seen bibiya gang up on girls for removing facial hair or threading eyebrows, Singhs gang up on guys for trimming, and everybody becoming fair game if they are seen to be fraternizing with the opposite sex. I have also observed that the holier-than-thou brigade do the same kind of fraternizing but are more adept at hiding it. One young Singh was proudly telling me about how he had been part of an internet smear campaign against another Sikh boy (for being interested in women God forbid!). Our panthic police officer went on to declare that marriage was not essential, and if so any discussion should be struck up by elders. If the youngsters had any desire to speak, they would have a brief conversation in Mahraj's Hazoori and under supervision. A few months later the same person is introducing me to "his Singhni" at a Gurdwara langar hall. How did they meet? She caught his eye while he was giving out Degh and he pursued it from there. There they were, fiances, yet unwed, and attending programs together. Where did the superior moral fibre go?

I think the majority of our angry panthic police have embraced something of a gang mentality and are exacting some kind of revenge on the kind of people they feel marginalised by. If they were who they profess to be, they wouldn't have the time or the inclination to bully those who are probably living a lifestyle of apparent freedom and broad acceptance that they are at some level envious of. It is said that "A man convinced against his will is a man unconvinced still". Nobody is going to be bullied or shamed into embracing Sikhi. If these people are ever going to embrace this path, then they will do so by being made to feel comfortable, accepted and wanted. Give them that and there is the chance that they will want to be one of us and amongst us. Treat them with hate, and we become a barrier between them and the Guru. The self appointed Panthic Police might want to consider if that is something that they want on their conscience.

Well, you speak of ganging up and intimidation tactics, I personally have not seen or experienced this, and if it does happen it is wrong. But the the part where you do the psycho analysis as to why Gursikhs do this is a flawed theory. I have my own theory. Since the last few decades Sikhs keeping a Sikh appearance have come a long way. We were the norm not too long ago, but now due to increasing apostasy those with a Sikh appearance are now a minority amongst the Sikhs themselves! This has made many religious Sikhs very defensive in order to gather and preserve what little we have left of the scattered saabat soorat Sikh community in the diaspora.

I think Punjabis by nature are probably the only such community who always feel under attack (this is true for both Gursikh and Patit Sikhs). If a Gursikh tries to encourage a mona to keep kesh or do Paath with very kind and loving words, the mona will get angry and say "how dare you say I should keep kesh and do Paath you bully!" coming from a family whose relatives were not religious due to communistic leaning I have too often seen this reaction.

The whole concept of sangat is that it will make you a stronger Sikh. If you join a Sangat, other Gursikhs encourage you to also keep more rehet, do more paath and simran because this will only benefit you not the Gursikh encouraging you. A Gursikh is suppose to encourage fellow Sikhs to get stronger in Sikhi when Gurbani says aap japo avro naam japavo. If a doctor gives health advice to someone out of concern the person getting the advice should not get overly defensive or angry for the advice, instead he should listen to the doctor's advice and thank him. Similarly when a Gursikh sees a jeev praani inflicted by the influences of Maya and Dhuniadhari that can lead to Churaasi Lakh Joons, the Gursikh out of compassion will advice that jeev praani to keep his kesh, read bani, do more simran and keep rehet. A siana purush will listen to the Gursikh and even thank him instead of getting defensive due to one's ego.