Why I have no female (Gursikh) friends?

[rrss]

On a serious note, whether male or female, how does one find Gursikhs to make friends with when they're not very many in your city? I've met some really great sewadars at events outside my region where I've volunteered but very few through other means.

[SeekingTheLight]

People will always be narrow minded. If they see a Singh talking to a Singhnee they are quick to judge and talk that there must be more going on. It is why girls are sometimes hesitant to be seen to sit or talk to Singhs. It is kind of annoying as I myself have male friends and this just makes things awkward. People are far too judgemental and ignorant, especially the older generation. Its a shame really.

Just my two cents. . . :happy2:

[Gurpreet14]

People will always be narrow minded. If they see a Singh talking to a Singhnee they are quick to judge and talk that there must be more going on. It is why girls are sometimes hesitant to be seen to sit or talk to Singhs. It is kind of annoying as I myself have male friends and this just makes things awkward. People are far too judgemental and ignorant, especially the older generation. Its a shame really.

Just my two cents. . . :happy2:

In my case dear..... I am very frank in nature so whenever i talk to singhs.... they think... kudi aa... line mardi saade te :D

Actually even Sardar munde feels a kind of shock when some girl talk to them in a funtush manner.. now u can image how can elders react positively if they see Gursikhs(boy/girl) talking

[SeekingTheLight]

In my case dear..... I am very frank in nature so whenever i talk to singhs.... they think... kudi aa... line mardi saade te :D

Actually even Sardar munde feels a kind of shock when some girl talk to them in a funtush manner.. now u can image how can elders react positively if they see Gursikhs(boy/girl) talking

Haha... :biggrin2:

Then Bhenji, I think your the exception. . . :happy2:

[Guest dasguruka]

WaheGuru Ji can we please be blessed with male/female Gursikh friends.

[rrss]

Anyone living in south east England want to be my friend (or based anywhere for email discussion) to talk about spirituality, God and Sikhi? PM me.

[Guest Heases]

Sat Siri Akaal Ji!

Thank you for all your replies! The reason why I asked is that - most of Behnjias are underrated - I mean their spiritual and mental level... Furthermore - they have a feminine view on things - So maybe I can discuss the issues with my male friends - but then this "feminine perspective" would be missing - and my goray female friends - aren´t really helpful - because they are no Sikhs - or agnostic or something...

I do respect Sisters as brothers - so NO SEXUAL intention! And like a Brother talks to his brother - Why I can´t talk to a Sister like a brother? I mean sikhi highlights equality - so why our Bajourgas (elders)are so much worried? We are no muslims or hindus or chrisians who make strict speration of femals and males... I mean SADH SANGAT concludes females like males... or not?

And on another note : Women do have sexual thoughts like men as well - so it is not only males... But men are often the initiators when they want to attract...

And about asking Guru Sahib ji for quuestion etc .. Yes you are right , thats why I do Hukamnama and stuff - but discussing can devolpe someone as well! (Remember : Sadh Sangat)

What do you think Behnjia - Are you ashamed or something if some Gursikh /Keshdahri or whatever talks to you?

[Guest Baljit]

I think the problem is that within the community it is frowned upon if a sikh chap or a sikh girl are seen talking to each other. People generally start getting the wrong idea and this in many cases is not the case. I think that it is a sham that we can't see to get over this barrier and as community try and be more open.

[Ragmaala]

I think behind the old traditions there might be some reality, especially when it comes to meeting of a male and female; just like when a north and south pole come together there is bound to be some attraction, similarly on a very subtle level, maybe deeper than the unconscious level, something always happens.

Unless you are a Brahmgyani, who has with the tap of his kamai burnt all his karams and get no furne, someone is always at a risk of slip.

Thats why it was an extra safeguard measure set up by old traditions.

But with that said, if you are treading on a Grihast marag, then such interaction is necessary to fulfill the worldy duties or to even engage in discussion or achieve perspective; i guess as long as the person is evaluating his mind based on the kasvatti of Gurbani constantly, he should do fine given guru kirpa.

[Guest kaurrrrr-roarrrrrrrr]

Vahguru. I think that if your parents trust you enough they will not frown upon anything. I have been blessed to have such understanding parents who know that I have nothing wrong in mind when talking to a Singh so they allow me. If I come home from college around 6pm with a school mate I get told off and lectured a bit, but if I come back with a Singh way later than that time, my parents especially my dad have a cup of tea with us and we have a good chit chat. I have not ever been stopped from going to a Singh's house, be it on my own or with other friends and family. Also, a thing I have noticed is that if you introduce you friend (male or female) to your parents and get them to know each other they will not stop you from talking. I get my friend to take my mum shopping so my mum likes him and so there is a strong bond and no wrong thoughts in anyones mind. We go on long drives together and so on, just to make parents understand that you can talk to the opposite gender without any wrong thoughts. And if people in the community see that your parents know exactly what is going on, no one will ever have the guts to make up any <banned word filter activated> about your life. So-ALL THE BEST!