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Why I have no female (Gursikh) friends?


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Sat Siri Akaal,

I have an awkward question.


Why I have no female Gursikh friends? I mean, everytime I am in Gurdwara etc. I see many Gursikh females and non Gursikh females, but I have no real female gursikh friends... I mean, I am not after Kaam or something, I just want for example, in an discusssion an gursikh feminine opinion. I have lot of white female friends . But no Gursikh , I dont´understand why , I mean i am very openminded and love to talk about everything esspcially about Sikhi , Guruji Sikh history etc...

So I thought going to a Sister in Gurdwara and try to start a conversation, but wouldnt that be awkward?

And again, I am no pervey or something . I am trying to be good gursikh and dont fall in kaam - it is just you know there is something missing - in my discussions with friends.

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Well one reason is that many people might get the wrong idea and think you and your female friend are involved with each other. Also you may be a genuinly good guy with good brotherly intentions but most Indian guys are perverts/luchay and Indian girls know this and try to avoid getting too friendly with an unmarried Indian man.

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Well one reason is that many people might get the wrong idea and think you and your female friend are involved with each other. Also you may be a genuinly good guy with good brotherly intentions but most Indian guys are perverts/luchay and Indian girls know this and try to avoid getting too friendly with an unmarried Indian man.

Site note: That is assuming that the OP is Indian, not all Gursikhs are Indian.

But yes that is true, younger Gursikh girls of Asian origin tend to talk less freely with male counterparts for a number of reasons, especially because family and relatives are present in the Gurdwara and older generations see girls and boys being friends as taboo. Also don't forget that Gursikhs are an orthodox people and generally more reserved. In the West its not uncommon for friendships to develop into relationships and in Sikhi it is very wrong if that happens, so if a Gursikh girl feels like she is better of not having male friends because of the risks then so be it. Equally, not having female Gursikh friends may be as much a fault in your approach than that of your sisters. You say that you have mastered lust but perhaps on an unconscious level you have avoided making friends with sisters till now because of your being uncomfortable with approaching the opposite sex, which means you haven't controlled lust (assuming that you have tried and failed to make friends with sisters). Also, I make the assumption that your 'white female friends' are not Gursikh.

Secondly, don't worry about these things. We're not here to strike a balance or achieve a quota of any sort. Male or female should not make a difference, you should not feel the need to specifically make friend with girls just for the sake of redressing a perceived imbalance. Make friends with Gursikhs for their qualities.

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Do not worry, I am a female and hardly have any female gursikh friends. I am amritdari but most singhneys just hate other singhneys. Singhs are a lot more laid back and don't get fussy talking t the opposite gender but singhneys just take it to a next level. I have actually come to decide that i prefer Singh friends rather-they are much more kind from past experience.

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Sat Siri Akaal,

I have an awkward question.

Why I have no female Gursikh friends? I mean, everytime I am in Gurdwara etc. I see many Gursikh females and non Gursikh females, but I have no real female gursikh friends... I mean, I am not after Kaam or something, I just want for example, in an discusssion an gursikh feminine opinion. I have lot of white female friends . But no Gursikh , I dont´understand why , I mean i am very openminded and love to talk about everything esspcially about Sikhi , Guruji Sikh history etc...

So I thought going to a Sister in Gurdwara and try to start a conversation, but wouldnt that be awkward?

And again, I am no pervey or something . I am trying to be good gursikh and dont fall in kaam - it is just you know there is something missing - in my discussions with friends.

cool, topic, my question would be what would you do even if you have female gursikh friend ? just a discussion? about guru, sikhi? what if i say to do those things you can sit by yourself and ask questions to yourself, you will get all answers, sawaal ek dukh hai and guru nanak ji says- nanak dukhiya sabh sansaar, so why not ask guru about your questions and doubts, its just something requires more concentration on Naam, Simran,

if you ask questions to others they may be able to give answers or may not be, so it depends why u really want a gursikh female friend look inside you and ask this question to yourself first

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Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa
Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

If you are involved with Panthic project, Gurdwara projects or such where male and female both are involved, it might be easier to be friends that way. And, its still fine if you dont have female frnds ^_^ it just makes u more far from kaam if u already are! Guru Sahib's blessing!

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Sat Siri Akaal, I have an awkward question. Why I have no female Gursikh friends? I mean, everytime I am in Gurdwara etc. I see many Gursikh females and non Gursikh females, but I have no real female gursikh friends... I mean, I am not after Kaam or something, I just want for example, in an discusssion an gursikh feminine opinion. I have lot of white female friends . But no Gursikh , I dont´understand why , I mean i am very openminded and love to talk about everything esspcially about Sikhi , Guruji Sikh history etc... So I thought going to a Sister in Gurdwara and try to start a conversation, but wouldnt that be awkward? And again, I am no pervey or something . I am trying to be good gursikh and dont fall in kaam - it is just you know there is something missing - in my discussions with friends.

Why do you want a female Gursikh friend, you can very well approach a Gursikh guy for opinion.

If there is nothing physical, then get a female pen pal, simple as that :-)

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On a serious note, whether male or female, how does one find Gursikhs to make friends with when they're not very many in your city? I've met some really great sewadars at events outside my region where I've volunteered but very few through other means.

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People will always be narrow minded. If they see a Singh talking to a Singhnee they are quick to judge and talk that there must be more going on. It is why girls are sometimes hesitant to be seen to sit or talk to Singhs. It is kind of annoying as I myself have male friends and this just makes things awkward. People are far too judgemental and ignorant, especially the older generation. Its a shame really.

Just my two cents. . . :happy2:

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People will always be narrow minded. If they see a Singh talking to a Singhnee they are quick to judge and talk that there must be more going on. It is why girls are sometimes hesitant to be seen to sit or talk to Singhs. It is kind of annoying as I myself have male friends and this just makes things awkward. People are far too judgemental and ignorant, especially the older generation. Its a shame really.

Just my two cents. . . :happy2:

In my case dear..... I am very frank in nature so whenever i talk to singhs.... they think... kudi aa... line mardi saade te :p :D

Actually even Sardar munde feels a kind of shock when some girl talk to them in a funtush manner.. now u can image how can elders react positively if they see Gursikhs(boy/girl) talking :)

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In my case dear..... I am very frank in nature so whenever i talk to singhs.... they think... kudi aa... line mardi saade te :p :D

Actually even Sardar munde feels a kind of shock when some girl talk to them in a funtush manner.. now u can image how can elders react positively if they see Gursikhs(boy/girl) talking :)

Haha... :biggrin2:

Then Bhenji, I think your the exception. . . :happy2:

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