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Guest kaur
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That sums it up really.

I feel so sad.

I feel so lost.

I have everything yet have nothing.

I have friends yet I am lonely.

I do pray but still are 'baechain'

I cry.

I weep.

I yell.

I just wait for each day to pass.

i just wait for each week to paass.

each year to pass.

...as if I am waiting for something. but im not.

I do not know.

I have no positivity.

depressed.

help me?

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She needs someone to talk. That really understand her. Some deep conversation, where she can talk about all her feelings and troubles. Bhenji, there seem to be roots of your conflict - please tell us - what do you think about your situation - life etc... There is some trigger for your SItuation.Just freely talk. What kind of faith do you have? Praying alone doesnt help anyone - you need to contemplte the words of gurbani -- understand them - in thedepth and then integrate it to your life. You seem to have a uni polar depression and mood swing. DO you do Sports or any physical activity?

Your anonymous - feel free to tell us ANYTHING. I will try my best to help..

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Not sure if this has direct relevance but a Penji of mine sent me an email when I had similar feelings.. Here it is...

When you feel like giving up...

The thing that helps me the most is the thing that Gurbani says hardly anybody does - remember death! If we always had it on our minds, we wouldn't go wrong and the truth is we'd dedicate every breath and every thought to the remembrance of Vaheguru, because He's the only One who can save us in the end. It stops us from being lazy, it'll get us out of bed when we're tired and it'll stop us from making so many mistakes... death is inevitable, everyone likes to ignore it, but we all know it could be around the corner for any of us. Remembering this, we don't have time to waste- what if I die tomorrow? I will have wasted all this time I've used sitting around on the internet, and that's it. Life's gone. You'll regret it but you won't have the chance to do anything about it... now is our time, unless we wanna face the scariest thing ever or lose our chance at meeting God- our father, mother, friend, our everything- and be thrown into another life form. Gurbani portrays the experience of dying and afterwards to be brutal...

baaki vaalaa talibeeai sir maare jandar jeeo
One who has karmic debt to pay off is summoned, and the Messenger of Death smashes his head.

Our physical bodies can only endure a certain amount of pain before we pass out or die, but our souls will have to endure pain that we can't even comprehend. Only will we have God's help after we die, and all the way through this life which in itself is described to be a treacherous ocean, if we give up the worldly attachments and dedicate ourselves to serving God... that means living in rehat, showing your love for God through following His hukam and worshipping Him. If we truly do this, in return he'll look after us and ultimately save us... "jan naanak aesa har sevia, anth lai shadaiaa". Even on this journey, after we've taken Amrit, if we follow rehat Guru Gobind Singh promises to be by our sides always. Could there be anything more amazing?.. That should give everyone something to work towards. Guru Sahib says:

thaerae galehi thouk pag baeree
The chain is around your neck, and the cuffs are on your feet.

thoo ghar ghar rameeai faeree
The Lord has send you wandering from house to house.

thoo ajahu n chethas chaeree
And still, you do not meditate on the Lord, O soul bride, slave.

Thoo jam bapuree hai haeree
Death is watching you, O wretched woman.

We don't have an unlimited amount of time and Guru Ji says that whatever you have to do, do it now... we have one chance to make it, we can either win or lose. Also, I remember that this whole world and everything we see is simply an illusion- nothing is real, nothing. Everything we've experienced, everything that happens to us every day, it's all a false show set up by Him... so pain and pleasure is only in our minds. Every hardship is a test to see whether we'll still hold on to Vaheguru. Every happiness is a test to see if we'll still remember Vaheguru. When we realise that, everything else becomes less significant and we can focus more on Him and forget all the other thoughts buzzing around our heads...

gur saevaa thae bhagath kamaaee || Serving the Guru, devotional worship is practiced

thab eih maanas dhaehee paaee || Then, this human body is obtained.

eis dhaehee ko simarehi dhaev || Even the gods long for this human body.

so dhaehee bhaj har kee saev ||1|| So vibrate that human body, and think of serving the Lord. ||1||

bhajahu guobi(n)dh bhool math jaahu || Vibrate, and meditate on the Lord of the Universe, and never forget Him.

maanas janam kaa eaehee laahu ||1|| rehaao || This is the blessed opportunity of this human incarnation. ||1||Pause||

jab lag jaraa rog nehee aaeiaa || As long as the disease of old age has not come to the body,

jab lag kaal grasee nehee kaaeiaa || and as long as death has not come and seized the body,

jab lag bikal bhee nehee baanee || and as long as your voice has not lost its power,

bhaj laehi rae man saarigapaanee ||2|| O mortal being, vibrate and meditate on the Lord of the World. ||2||

ab n bhajas bhajas kab bhaaee || If you do not vibrate and meditate on Him now, when will you, O Sibing of Destiny?

aavai a(n)th n bhajiaa jaaee || When the end comes, you will not be able to vibrate and meditate on Him.

jo kishh karehi soee ab saar || Whatever you have to do - now is the best time to do it.

fir pashhuthaahu n paavahu paar ||3|| Otherwise, you shall regret and repent afterwards, and you shall not be carried across to the other side. ||3||

so saevak jo laaeiaa saev || He alone is a servant, whom the Lord enjoins to His service.

thin hee paaeae nira(n)jan dhaev || He alone attains the Immaculate Divine Lord.

gur mil thaa kae khulhae kapaatt || Meeting with the Guru, his doors are opened wide,

bahur n aavai jonee baatt ||4|| and he does not have to journey again on the path of reincarnation. ||4||

eihee thaeraa aousar eih thaeree baar || This is your chance, and this is your time.

ghatt bheethar thoo dhaekh bichaar || Look deep into your own heart, and reflect on this.

kehath kabeer jeeth kai haar || Says Kabeer, you can win or lose.

bahu bidhh kehiou pukaar pukaar ||5||1||9|| In so many ways, I have proclaimed this out loud. ||5||1||9||


Remember to be at the stage you're at now in your Sikhi is a blessing and few people get this gift. If Vaheguru didn't think you could go the full way you wouldn't have been given this opportunity! You might feel like you can't do it or that you're not worthy of it, or that you'll never get there... I feel like that a lot too... but we simply can't do anything ourselves. We can only do this with Guru's Grace. So do ardaas and ask- beg for help. If we keep thinking about how crap we are and how we can't do this, we'll waste our lives doing this. Just keep looking forward and taking small steps every day, or week!

If you want to motivate yourself you can do things like; watching one video a day, a talk or katha, eg. from Khalsa Camp. It really helps you remember all this and you go to bed thinking about it, wake up for amrit vela easily because you've been thinking about it. Also, you learn loadss in a short space of time! Another thing, which might be difficult and not really your choice, is to keep yourself in good sangat as much as you can... people who will stop you from drifting away from Sikhi and people who'll inspire you to go forwards! We all have friends who chat about useless things and keep your mind thinking about Maya, and thinking that the world is real. A lot of Gursikhs say that it's imperative to ask for Gursikhi sangat in your ardaas... really does make a big difference when you and your friend are always talking about Sikhi and helping each other, rather than talking about TV or w/e!

Hope this helpeddd in some way, even a bit of it! Sorry if I said anything irrelevant or wrong
Hope you're okay :)

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it's your innerself yearning for waheguru ji.....it could be "bairaag"

do deep breathing......anytime....no particular position.......

do ardas........read children story books....like panchtantra etc...or read Guru ji's or mahapurkh's jeewans........you'll get through it....

you know what......try this....listen to "Sant Waryam Singh ji Ratwara Sahibwale" on youtube.......the way mahapurkh convey the ideas is very simple and you'll feel like keep lstening to him.....your mind will be engaged in it...you'll feel blessed and peaceful

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Waheguru. Thank you for the replies. Yeah I should have told a bit about myself first. I have taken amrit, i am 18, studying, listen to katha and kirtan regularly. Nothing dramatic has happened in life, thankfully. I cry constantly, day and night, literally.

A poster above said to remember death. Being very very truthful to you all and myself, I actualy think i look forward to death. I don't mind dying.

i just see the whole world-purpose of being here- all just blank really, i don't know how to say it. like I do no care at all .

I try and do sewa and simran when i can.

even my own parent don't care. and it doen't even bother me now. Gods sake I just feel like smashing my head against a brick wall and ripping myself apart.

Before anyone asks the reason to that...I do not know myself. Feel so sad, for a reason which I myself do not know, if there even is a reason.

waheguru.

Sorry if I have said anything wrong. just been trying to poorly express my feelings.

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Bhenjee try doing Sukhmani Sahib pathh everyday. If you can do panj granthi. I have been in the same place as you, not knowing what in the world what made me sad. And then I realized my Atma is sad because I was not feeding it Baani. Please bhenjee try doing Sukhmani Sahib path atleast for a week..You will see a difference, I guarantee. Also make sure your Amritvela is strict. You might need to put an effort in doing some bhagti, but it will all work out. :)

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