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[Guest Guedt]

Waheguru ji ka khalsa waheguru ji ki fateh. Recently I got the shock of my life. My husband is cheating on me for almost 2 years. We have been married for 7 years now.. We are both amritdhari and he is cheating on me with an indian (hindu) colleague. I had this doubt and confronted him. He told me everything while crying. My whole world is shattered. People c him as a chardikala singh. He is very active in spreading sikhi. Sewa in gurdwara. I am totally broken. I also lost my nitnem. I dont go to the gurdwara anymore i feel ashamed. He feels like i should forgive him but i cant. Divorcing is no option because I dont want my family to know about this. Ive asked for advice to some but it feels like they want to hide this fact. They say forgive him and dont tell anyone else.

[luckysingh99]

You can forgive him.

But he has to convince you that he won't do it again.

These things happen and I once knew an amritdhari singhni that was doing the same and seeing some dude at her work !!!!

The problem is that when you ask him ''WHY????''

He probably won't even know the answer himself !!!

Most men end up doing it because ''they CAN!!!" or because the opportunity was there and they thought that NO ONE will know or find out !

What kind of man would do this ??

Any man that likes taking risks or get's a thrill out of doing something a little taboo or forbidden.

This can be as simple as driving rough and taking risks to keeping and cashing a cheque that wasn't meant to be yours !!

[TuhadaDaas]

vahguru ji ka khaksa vaheguru ji ki fateh

dear sister i am so sorry to hear this. the solution is this: go to the panj pyare together as a couple during the next amrit sanchar, so that you can tell them what happened to get marriage advice as well your husband asking for amrit again.

[Guest Guest]

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

Kaam, Krodh, Lobh, Moh, Ahankaar can strike anyone.

I think you should speak to someone at

http://www.kaurageous.com/kaurnect

Carry on your Nitnem and Sadh Sangat.

Read the article at

http://www.sikhnet.com/news/transforming-problems

If needed, go for NLP therapy or counselling.

Waheguru ji ka khalsa

Waheguru ji ki fateh

[Guest Helping Gursikh]

Sorry to hear that jee.

Sorry for what I have to say, but if I were you I would leave him. Fair enough if you are both Amritdhaari and you do not want your families to find out but the foundation of any relationship is trust. If he could cheat on his wife for 2 years then what does that say about the marriage?

You should not feel ashamed at all as none of this is your fault, it's his. He has commited a bujjar kurehat. This may be hard to accept but it is the right thing to do. If you "forgive" him how do you know he will not do it again? People do not change.

I am saying all of this out of experience.

Bhul chuk marf,

Do the right thing!

[Guest Help]

I dont know. How eill i assure he wont do this again. He has taken amrit again. But now he thinks all is set..

[Guest &_&]

Read Chritar 33 from Sri Charitorpakhyan. Here is a link to it:

http://www.scribd.com/doc/13262747/English-Translation-of-Chritropakhyaan-From-Dasam-Granth-Vol1

[GurujisDaughter]

Bhenji,
take a Hukamnama Sahib. Guru Sahib ji is the Biggest judge. And let him decide for you too. you are safe in His hands.