Please help me

[jasdeepsingh2k125]

it's funny because the above 'guest'poster doesn't realize that some of us may know who is under that disguise !! :biggrin2: sssshhhhhhhhhhhHHHHH!!!!!

kon hai veerji?

[luckysingh99]

kon hai veerji?

I can't !!!!

Everyone deserves a little privacy here and there I suppose :cool2:

[VanHelsingh]

^^^ militant

please dont hijack some people as taking the piss to this bollywood op as a sign that everyone thinks like the above.

dont agree with the bf/gf culture bit if you like a girl for a long time as friends then get married then u r technically bf/gf doesnt seem that bad. also plenty of ppl amritdharis here with love marriages and i would guess the vast members who visit here disagree with you

its people like u who make people think twice about becoming amritdhari because u have to live an immaculate life, probably the same people who didnt allow divorce only suicide as a way out of a bad marriage, you need to realise being amritdhari is a step on the rung of sachkand dude,

I like your posts Khalsa Ji, but labelling the post above yours as militant is a bit harsh.

I actually think his post wasn't fanatical, but rather harked back to a time when honour (not the "izzat" nonsense the Western media has latched onto), respect for others, and a sense of noble decorum was nothing to be sniffed at. The lines of conduct were clearly delineated, and that isn't a clever way of saying "Everyone knew their place", but instead everyone knew HOW to behave. Just because some would decry these systems as antiquaited doesn't mean they were false or impossible to live up to. I just don't think the will is there anymore.

Of course I agree with your point about it being impossible to live an immaculate life, but I don't think living without blame or blemish is what 'ss' meant. His point about loving yourself is extremely valid. Until we open our eyes and realise what we, the individual, is all about, then trying to latch onto another person in the hope he/she will "complete us" means we're onto a loser everytime. Then to spoon into the mix generous dollops of spirituality, supernatural occurences, and general hear-say into a kind of Sikhi pick 'n' mix, and try to use the sum of this hot-podge by linking it to Sikh principles and an attempt to justify such behaviour (which is what the OP has done) is a complete distortion of what the Sikh faith is.

Yet I actually don't think it's fair to condemn the OP! She's young, and lord knows young blood is a curse as well as a boon at times, lol. Nevertheless the cynical nature in which the follies committed by young Sikhs are attempted to, at worst, be justified as some kind of divine act of providence is a bit too much for me to take.

[Gurpreet14]

Being young is not curse....

Falling in luv is not being convict.....

I guess no one can stop his feelings to emerge...unless he is a true saint

Now if u start liking someone I don't think u will say to u ur heart- I WILL SLAP U IF U WILL LUV HIM OR I WILL KILL U U.....BLOODY HEART N DEN DHISHUM DHISHUM THA THA FIGHTING . ...n then ur heart will say ok if u will fight I will stop working problem is finish Lol

Life is not about forcing ur mind n heart to luv god bcoz u r GURSIKH but being Gursikh is obeying what ur heart n mind says n then silently make them understand that they r not right....

U can finish of ur luv for someone in a sec....it takes time....

Let Jaspreet think n counsel herself what is gud for her.....she is teenager everyone agrees that she is very young to take decision...buy Sangat g...have u seen one thing...she luvz that guy coz she is inspired by his sikhi...d way he follows Sikhism.....

Atleast she luvz a khalsa n is not like other sikh girls who r ready to move out of Sikhi for other religion following Guys....

[Khalistani187]

Yoo end this post already just like Sat has said just been talking over nd over for the love of God (literally) go talk to the guy and get it over with! I think ur being way to insecure bout urself just give it a try it not gunna be the end of the world...

[VanHelsingh]

...Atleast she luvz a khalsa n is not like other sikh girls who r ready to move out of Sikhi for other religion following Guys....

Good point. Whilst I'm not comfortable with Maharaj's darbar or premises being used for Amritdhari romantic escapades like a desi Pride and Prejudice, you do make a good point, sis.

[MKaur89]

I wonder if some of the people posting here would give the same advice if it was their sister or daughter in the same situation as the OP...

[luckysingh99]

I wonder if some of the people posting here would give the same advice if it was their sister or daughter in the same situation as the OP...

Very good point !!

Then it becomes a different issue because you think you know them better and know what they should and shouldn't be doing!

When we discuss these issues, it's always about the ''other'' person, because you always fell that it doesn't happen to you.

A very similar issue is the acceptance of gays !????

Because many of us will openly and fairly say... ''I have no problem with gays...blah..blah....blah..'' OR ''They shouldn't be nasty or reject their son because he's queer!!''

BUT when t comes to their OWN child, then it's a different ball game altogether !!

Then All of a sudden it becomes ''Unacceptable"" and the comments are '' Your not sure, you don't really know, you think your gay, you need some time to think about it...etc..''

For the record, I'm quite old fashioned in the sense that I do have a problem with all these gay rights and gay marriages...etc...

I know it's not the Sikh way, but I can't help it, it is another weakness that I should try and conquer.

I just can't look at someone and carry on with a conversation whilst knowing they are gay!!

I don't say anything, but like the majority of us out there, I think we all THINK it and Unintentionally discriminate in our Minds and with our thoughts !

[Guest ss]

^^^ militant

please dont hijack some people as taking the piss to this bollywood op as a sign that everyone thinks like the above.

dont agree with the bf/gf culture bit if you like a girl for a long time as friends then get married then u r technically bf/gf doesnt seem that bad. also plenty of ppl amritdharis here with love marriages and i would guess the vast members who visit here disagree with you

its people like u who make people think twice about becoming amritdhari because u have to live an immaculate life, probably the same people who didnt allow divorce only suicide as a way out of a bad marriage, you need to realise being amritdhari is a step on the rung of sachkand dude,

I think your jumping the gun here dude, saying I would only allow suicide instead of divorce - do you know me? So how can you say I would allow that.

Name me one thing what I have said wrong in my post? Would you allow your daughter to have b/f? the part of being long term friends I agree. But actually going out with one another is that right?

Whats wrong with living an immaculate life? Taking Amrit is not a joke thing...Furthermore you say bf/gf is right, is that why so many amrithari's are going pesh for having sex before marriage... the problem with b/f g/f thing is that one thing can lead to another.

I agree with you on being ong term friends and getting married is a sensible manner but not on actually being b/f g/f bro..

I wud appreciate it if you dont make assumptions on my post

BTW if asking ppl to live there life with honour and dignity is ''militant'' then ''militant'' I am

[kullykhalsa]

apologies for making assumptions on your post but you have assumed all love marriages are based on people not loving themselves

as a self proclaimed mona who "used to chase girls" did you come round to sikhi with someone preaching at you and calling you "bescharam" or did you come round because of the pyaar that you saw in sikhi

although i do agree with you the whole bollywood bf/gf thing has gone to far in sikhi but id rather it happened at the gurdwara then in a club the lesser of 2 evils?