Martrimony Lists

[Guest Anon]

Hi,

I'm just wondering if any of you have used Gurdwara matrimony lists?

Have they been any any good?

Are there any other Sikh places that people can recommend?

[Wicked Warrior]

I signed up to our local one. Was good - meeting girls and their families. It can be a lot easier than relying on word of mouth.

I tried the online sites and found them to be useless (didn't seem to find anyone I got on with or who wasn't vacuous). Your experience may be different.

[GKaur1315]

Oh! I need to join this Gurdwara list but i'd be too nervous to.

I couldn't handle meeting the whole family the first time I meet the guy.

[VanHelsingh]

Does the family come along with the guy? For real?

[savinderpalsingh]

yes they do

first the families talk amongst themselves then, the guy and girl are asked if they need some time along to talk amongst themselves

[GKaur1315]

As bad as this sounds, that would actually deter me from joining the Gurdwara list.

It's already nerve racking having to meet a stranger without having to meet the whole family too!

[savinderpalsingh]

relax they're not going to eat you

you need to over some your phobia

[VanHelsingh]

yes they do

first the families talk amongst themselves then, the guy and girl are asked if they need some time along to talk amongst themselves

So if the two families have gelled, then it isn't entirely necessary for the girl and boy to be married to have a chat?

I'm well aware in most South Asian cultures the process of marriage is not just about bride and groom compatibility, because our unions also encompass two family units coming together, but I'd imagine it's common sense to allow the prospective bride and groom (who will, ultimately, be sitting in Maharaj's hajoori come the time of the Anand Karaj) to gauge whether it is worth proceeding with any further discussion of marriage, way before the parents from both sides get a bit too attached to each other. Hey, but if it works then fair play. I've honestly never heard of it been done this way in all my years.

[savinderpalsingh]

it depends on the boy and girl

if they feel ok about each other

if no , then its a no deal

[Wicked Warrior]

It's not as scary as it sounds. The parents can chat to get an idea of each other - the girl's family will want to know what kind of family their daughter might be going into and the boy's family need to know what kind of background the girl's come from.

As a boy, I've been grilled by the father, mother, grandparents and siblings of the prospective girls. It's more scary to meet and chat with the girl in my experience.