Feeling A Bit Down

[Guest ehauehuaehu]

why do Sikh families look down on the turban/beard so much? My cousins from India phoned me today after seeing a picture of me, for the following reason

"trim your beard down, it looks gross"

I was shocked. I politely told them to leave me alone and that it didn't bother me.

A few weeks ago we were at my cousins wedding. My brother is a mona who was convinced to tie a turban that day. Everyone kept coming up and telling my brother how great he looked, then came up to me and told me to learn how to "clean up" based on how my brother looks. My parents also always comment on my brothers appearance, while never saying anything positive about mine. Ever.


These little things are starting to bother me even though I know they shouldn't. I feel like my confidence is slowly being picked away at, part by part. Being told these things mess with you subconsciously and I just need some help. When your own family does these types of things it just feels so weird..

Thanks

[Akaal Purakh Di Fauj]

Wahegurujikakhalsawahegurujikifateh,

Negative sangat - family or not is like poison to a Gursikh.

Do ardas for them, increase your abhiyaas, place all your faith in Guru Sahib and if necessary remove yourself from such a negative environment - lest you do something you end up regretting all your life.

May Guru Sahib bless you with his mat.

Btw in Sri Suraj Prakash Granth, Kavi Santokh Singh Ji has written that Guru Gobind Singh Ji has advised his Khalsa to avoid 12 different type of people. If sangat of these people is done then you are likely to find yourself in narak in this world and the next.

Guru Sahib Kirpa Karo

Wahegurujikakhalsawahegurujikifateh

[navsangeet]

i think its maya in play...through your family u r being tested..

but u need to stay strong because its ur actual parents mata sahib kaur and guru gobind singh ji that u need to keep happy and to whom u r answerable and not any worldly being who are putle of maya...

don't worry brother do ardass to maharaj to keep u strong and think of chote sahibzaade...if they didn't loose faith how are u supposed to do that....

[ekgurjaskhalsa]

Start doing Sangat of Gursikhs, you will see the difference... Hang around like minded people.. start by volunteering at local Gurdwara Sahib.. you will make new friends

[GKaur1315]

Wahegurujikakhalsawahegurujikifateh,

Negative sangat - family or not is like poison to a Gursikh.

Do ardas for them, increase your abhiyaas, place all your faith in Guru Sahib and if necessary remove yourself from such a negative environment - lest you do something you end up regretting all your life.

May Guru Sahib bless you with his mat.

Btw in Sri Suraj Prakash Granth, Kavi Santokh Singh Ji has written that Guru Gobind Singh Ji has advised his Khalsa to avoid 12 different type of people. If sangat of these people is done then you are likely to find yourself in narak in this world and the next.

Guru Sahib Kirpa Karo

Wahegurujikakhalsawahegurujikifateh

Who are these 12 types of people?

[Akaal Purakh Di Fauj]

Wahegurujikakhalsawahegurujikifateh,

Read/listen to katha on Sri Suraj Prakash Granth for a detailed list.

Of the top of my head the list includes:

Kazi, One who deals with alcohol, One who deals in falsehood, Brahmin, Kaami, One engrossed in the 5 Kalishas, Mayadhari etc

Wahegurujikakhalsawahegurujikifateh

[navsangeet]

brahmin, baniya, munshi and bachpan...

i heard it from kam1825 veer ji's site http://kam1825.podbean.com/?s=people+to+avoid

but i don't know how bachpan is engrossed in maya...but thats another topic

[Wicked Warrior]

Tell them you wear your beard like Guru Nanak Dev Ji.

Do not look to others for "acceptance". This is what you're after by wanting people to say nice things about you. In looking for acceptance, you have to look like them - cut hair, no beard, etc. If they would make you jevan mukt in return and merge you to the Guru, it would be a worthwhile sacrifice. They can't. They're engrossed in Maya. Rise above it. Let them say what they want and let it go past you with affecting you.

A true Sikh looks to his Guru for inspiration and for reward. Go to Him to seek validation and acceptance.

[Only five]

Basically, Gurbani will lift your spirits up. Devote your time in reading Gurbani, following Gurbani and in return Guru Sahib will run 1000 steps toward you. No need to use harsh words or tell others how to conduct themselves. Get up and change the negativity that lies in you by devoting time with Gurbani. Insecurity lies in you.

Some say it can't be that simple, but it is that simple. Simran (reading Gurbani/singing Gurbani/contemplating over Gurbani, repeating Vaheguru, repeating a Shabad over and over, repeating Mool Mantar), Seva and honest living by Guru Sahib's guidance and your mind will be cool and calm no matter what someone says or does to you.

[kullykhalsa]

i find these type of questions are a constant here maybe we should have a sticky

bhaiji the whole reason you are affected by these things is because of your own emotions, or lack of control of them, its one of the hardest things to master (not that i have done it)

only you control the way you feel, you are in charge, if you know the real reason you keep your kesh then it should never affect you

i hope you feel better tho!