Top 10 Tips To Beat Lust

[Guest NotSoGood]

I was wondering what are the top 10 tips to beat lust and kaam and to change and become a better person

[simran345]

1. Control your mind

2. As above

3. As above

4. . As above

5. . As above

6. . As above

7. . As above

8. . As above

9. . As above

10. . As above

[Wingz23]

GO TO A FOREST... SOMEWHERE DESOLATE... AND SCREAM :respect: :respect:

[simran345]

Do seva of those that truly need it. The poor, disabled, elderly. Give to charity. Pray to god.

Have nimrata, and say god you did it not me.

Helping somebody that truly need it will give you dua, good wishes and blessings which will make you become a better person if you dont get ego that you did it for somebody else. Always think god gave u the opportunity.

[N30S1NGH]

Only after bhramgyan one can totally negate mind before that we are all affected by mind/thoughts which is made out of rajo, sato and tomo.

However, we can minimize bad thoughts in our mind...Here are some of the tips which may help you:

1. Divide your mind in two. One has dya, dharam, sat, santokh, gyan and other one effected by kaam, krodh, lob, moh, ahankar..whenever bad thoughts come in/5 vices, let your other portion of mind of good attributes dya, dharam sat, santokh, gyan to take control of your other portion of mind effected by five vices. Control kaam with gyan, if you are getting kaam thoughts, instead of looking at his/her body or act, look at the light behind him/her and look at the body with the reality how its made of five elements which will be reduced to dust one day or another.

2. Listen to gurbani, memorize some of gurbani tuks which talks about kaam, take sahara of guru maharaj to remove the thoughts of kaam.

3. Do self inquiry, always question whenever bad thoughts effected by 5 vices comes in, ask to whom is it for? is it for my body or mind/egoistic mind and do self inquiry right away -my real self is beyond body and mind so its not for me as my real soul does not have even have mind made out of rajo, tamo and sato let alone bad thoughts.

4. Dont pay attention to bad thoughts, let them come in- don't enforce anything, perceive everything comes from the light and start seeing light behind everything, you will notice after a while bad thoughts like waves will go away by itself. For eg- water just like waves in pot always moves in open sun light .Hence we cannot see sun light reflection from sun but once we ignore waves and focus on light behind it, after a while you will notice only light in the pot nothing else will move your perception.

5. Keeping doing ardas to guru maharaj and these thoughts effected by 5 vices are not for me, please make them go away.

6. Make your mind busy with other good things, never let mind sit bored to let your thoughts accumlated in your sub consciousness mind attack you.

7. Don't suppress the thoughts neither let them go loosely, sit in resonance of vahiguroo/ikongkar mantra visualize as if everything is folding itself back in ikongkar...these thoughts are being destroyed and everything merging/folding itself all in all in ONE- IkONGKar and thats the source of everything so focus on Ik0ngkar.

8. As soon as bad thoughts came in, visualize yourself as light, above ground where you can see earth liquaditing or disapearing itself into multi universe...where are bad thoughts? no where, just beautiful view of Vahiguroo's creation.

9. Always have gurbani on headphones or speakers..don't just listen but also imagine each akhar into real story for eg Bisar gayi sab tat paraie or among others ..visualize it or think about this stage which gurbani talks about.

10. Keep your socializing to very minimal whether it be regular joe blow freinds, t.v, ads, movies if you are begineer. It will easily sway you away from your real purpose of being sikh....always keep doing sangat of elder gursikhs or mahapursh to clear further doubts or sansas.

11. Finally, cheer up life aint bad..present is very actual moment of all moments- neither past or future..what matters what you do now in present neither past or future.

[Guest st55]

And also, why is masturbating wrong? For female btw, because its not intercourse so is it still forbidden for amritshkya singni

[taran0]

some tips for our teenage brothers!

noone starts off perfect or without the 5 chor, if we coudl control the mind then we would be brahmgyanis - that is teh battle we are here to fight - so the aim is to one day get there, keep trying and dont be disheartened its going to take time and meditation, wont happen overnight

try to keep yourself busy and your mind occupied, which keeps your mind from wandering down the wrong path, the aim is not to maybe cut out completely in one go but to slowly come to the point where it attacks you less and less until it completely calms down

"the more you feed the dog, the more he will come back hungrier and wanting more" so the idea is to cut it down slowly until the dog calms down

sports are a good way of exherting energy from the body

also keep away from things that are going to set you off - if you know a certain film or tv program takes your mind that way then try to refrain from it.

stay out of situations where you think you might go to far and end up doign soemthing even worse - keep a bit of distance from the opposite sex (i dont mean run away from them or sit in diferent rooms - but yes keep it minimal and with other people around)

take one step at a time - and never give up trying

and finally sex is not evil or bad, lust is bad - sex is a part of life and in a loving married relationship is healthy and pavittar. so get married young and have a healthy and spiritual life fulfilling your family and commmunity duties and also fulfilling your spiritual life, ( plus we could do with more fauj! )

this is why MARRIAGE is such an important part of life - too many youngsters think they badmans and say im not guna get married (as if they too pavittar or it or its dirty) even when our gurus got married themselves - then they end up getting into all sorts of trouble

the reality and fantasy are completely diferent things - the anti Dasam people have the same complex, they think they are purer then their own inherent nature, which is why they reject charitropakhyaan - when in reality kaam has burnt the whole world

understand your own nature and with meditation conquer the mind

guru gobind singh ji gave practical advice to the singhs

nijh naree se nit badheyo, Par nari ki sej, bhul supne hun na jayo'

“Love your own wedded wife ever so more, but do not go to another woman’s bed even in a dream.”

— Guru Gobind Singh J

ultimately keep doing ardaas - http://www.sikhitothemax.com/page.asp?ShabadID=2673

jio jaanahu thio raakh har prabh thaeriaa || Save me, any way You can; O Lord God, I am Yours. kaethae gano asa(n)kh avagan maeriaa || My demerits are uncountable; how many of them should I count? asa(n)kh avagan khathae faerae nithaprath sadh bhooleeai || The sins and crimes I committed are countless; day by day, I continually make mistakes. moh magan bikaraal maaeiaa tho prasaadhee ghooleeai || I am intoxicated by emotional attachment to Maya, the treacherous one; by Your Grace alone can I be saved. look karath bikaar bikharrae prabh naer hoo thae naeriaa || Secretly, I commit hideous sins of corruption, even though God is the nearest of the near. binava(n)th naanak dhaeiaa dhhaarahu kaadt bhavajal faeriaa ||1|| Prays Nanak, shower me with Your Mercy, Lord, and lift me up, out of the whirlpool of the terrifying world-ocean. ||1||

[N30S1NGH]

Great post taran veer.

And also, why is masturbating wrong? For female btw, because its not intercourse so is it still forbidden for amritshkya singni

Masturbation(thought or feeling) both male and female alike are connected to our body obviously, but also connected to our senses (gyan inderes) it incites our mind and senses which further makes us slave to sheer pleasure of body and senses. Female may not feel necessarily feel lustful(towards men) when they masturbate but trapped in their own "vanity of having pleasure', this desire of having pleasure or actual action of pleasure are turned into strong desires or unfulfilled desires in our sub consciousness mind which determines our future or next life..Hence, one is still trapped in birth and death cycle of reincarnation. And that is not just limited to lust or masturbation, pretty much any strong desire fulfilled or unfullfiled which are can be connected to 5 vices- lust, anger, greed, attachment and ego.

Gurbani says- bhai prapat manukh dehuriya gobind milan ki eh teri varie- After long you have gotten this human life, this is your chance to meet God and there are many place in gurbani where it talks towards human worldly pleasure just to compare with divine pleasure just so human can relate to it, at the end of day- be honest with yourself and you know more yourself more than anyone else besides vahiguroo, one already has engaged in many worldly pleasures, so time for one to compare it, go towards divine and start striving for divine bliss..once one start getting drizzle of divine bliss..just honestly compare that with your worldly pleasure..you will answer the question yourself....!!

[13Mirch]

In order to give up masturbation, an offshoot of kaam, a new methodology has been adopted by the Animal Wellfare Society. Porn videos are inserted with images of tortured animals to assist u in stopping. If u continue however then u r a very sick individual, remember those animals!!!!!!!!!!! REMEMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[simran721]

Hello veerji

First of all, you are not alone in your temptations. Every human on the face of planet, even the saints in may other religions such as Christianity have had such temptations. All of us know how difficult they can be to overcome and deal with. Temptation is not something that you beat and then cast aside as a defeated foe, but rather something that we must countinally battle day after day and as all us sinners know, we don't always win.

First and foremost is to accept the fact that we are human beings and do not always succeed in living in a pure life no matter what it may be. You're going to fall and this is the reality you must accept. That is why we have ardas, so you can ask or confess you're sins to Waheguru. You must learn to forgive yourself and your moments of weakness for Waheguru already has done so before your ardas and I'm sure they understand the trials and temptations you go through each day. Do not get frustrated, do not get angry and above all do not hate, It is good that you dislike what you do, but do not hate yourself for it.

Okay, now for the very practical aspects of how to control your urges and deal with Kaam.

First and foremost is ardas, then prayers, followed by more prayers. These are the most important things by far, and asking Waheguru to help strengthen your will to overcome this temptation. Waheguru will grant you the grace, but it will still be difficult at times. When you have the desire to urge, start to pray and concentrate on Waheguru. Exercises are an important factor in reducing hormones and in general using up sexual energies. Running, swimming, dance, tennis, golf, gym, yoga, gym etc. should help your urges to a certain extent. Part of your desire and needs to be fulfilled are a result of your body's natural response to possibly procreate. Essentially your body is trying to tell you its time to start to start considering some sort of relationship with the opposite sex. Not to say that you need to get married right away or start having sexual intercourse, but to merely state that your body is pushing you in that direction. Although it could be many, many years off perhaps female companionship (platonic) would help alleviate some of this sexual tension. With such temptation veerji, it is not necessarily a good idea to go 'cold turkey' as it were. Its a lot like trying to quit smoking, drinking or swearing. although with smoking, your body's addiction to nicotine, tar or whatever else these cigarette contain nowadays can be broken down with patches or chewing gum. While your aim should be to stop immediately, doing so might be more difficult than it appears and thus you may feel even worse when you return to old thinking/doing habits. Instead, try to set goals and time periods. Set a certain number of weeks or days and a maximum number of times and then gradual increase weeks and decrease the number of times. This is by no means an endorsement, but merely a suggestion if you have difficulty stopping such thoughts or actions immediately. After a while you may be able to reduce your mind or your body's dependance on it or simply find that in conjunction with everything else you do, you simply no longer have the desire. Veerji try not to watch anything that might cause you to have impure thoughts. In this day of age with the internet, TV, magazines etc, it is extremely difficult to avoid graphics containing sexualised/pornographic images, but nonetheless this is something that should be attempted to as best as you can. Many people might be trying to tell you that this type of thing is natural and normal to sin, but that does necessarily make things right. Masturbation reduces you to a source of pleasure even the thoughts as your body responds to what your mind thinks, almost a thing. Sexual intercourse is a good thing, but only in the context of marriage, when the person you are sharing it with is the person you love and not a 'thing' or a means to an end of a short term pleasure.

Unfortunately this is something that you have to deal with for a while. You must accept the fact that you are not a bad person nor should you hate yourself for this. It will take us quite a long time to be able to eventually conquer this vices. Do not get frustrated, do not get angry, but continue to fight this constantly asking for Waheguru's help and doing paath regular. Also keep yourself busy and be strong in the mind.

Please excuse me for any mistakes.