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Top 10 Tips To Beat Lust

Guest NotSoGood

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Only after bhramgyan one can totally negate mind before that we are all affected by mind/thoughts which is made out of rajo, sato and tomo. However, we can minimize bad thoughts in our mind...Here ar

1. Control your mind 2. As above 3. As above 4. . As above 5. . As above 6. . As above 7. . As above 8. . As above 9. . As above 10. . As above


Do seva of those that truly need it. The poor, disabled, elderly. Give to charity. Pray to god.

Have nimrata, and say god you did it not me.

Helping somebody that truly need it will give you dua, good wishes and blessings which will make you become a better person if you dont get ego that you did it for somebody else. Always think god gave u the opportunity.

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some tips for our teenage brothers!

noone starts off perfect or without the 5 chor, if we coudl control the mind then we would be brahmgyanis - that is teh battle we are here to fight - so the aim is to one day get there, keep trying and dont be disheartened its going to take time and meditation, wont happen overnight

try to keep yourself busy and your mind occupied, which keeps your mind from wandering down the wrong path, the aim is not to maybe cut out completely in one go but to slowly come to the point where it attacks you less and less until it completely calms down

"the more you feed the dog, the more he will come back hungrier and wanting more" so the idea is to cut it down slowly until the dog calms down

sports are a good way of exherting energy from the body

also keep away from things that are going to set you off - if you know a certain film or tv program takes your mind that way then try to refrain from it.

stay out of situations where you think you might go to far and end up doign soemthing even worse - keep a bit of distance from the opposite sex (i dont mean run away from them or sit in diferent rooms - but yes keep it minimal and with other people around)

take one step at a time - and never give up trying

and finally sex is not evil or bad, lust is bad - sex is a part of life and in a loving married relationship is healthy and pavittar. so get married young and have a healthy and spiritual life fulfilling your family and commmunity duties and also fulfilling your spiritual life, ( plus we could do with more fauj! )

this is why MARRIAGE is such an important part of life - too many youngsters think they badmans and say im not guna get married (as if they too pavittar or it or its dirty) even when our gurus got married themselves - then they end up getting into all sorts of trouble

the reality and fantasy are completely diferent things - the anti Dasam people have the same complex, they think they are purer then their own inherent nature, which is why they reject charitropakhyaan - when in reality kaam has burnt the whole world

understand your own nature and with meditation conquer the mind

guru gobind singh ji gave practical advice to the singhs

nijh naree se nit badheyo, Par nari ki sej, bhul supne hun na jayo'

Love your own wedded wife ever so more, but do not go to another woman’s bed even in a dream.

Guru Gobind Singh J

ultimately keep doing ardaas - http://www.sikhitothemax.com/page.asp?ShabadID=2673

jio jaanahu thio raakh har prabh thaeriaa || Save me, any way You can; O Lord God, I am Yours. kaethae gano asa(n)kh avagan maeriaa || My demerits are uncountable; how many of them should I count? asa(n)kh avagan khathae faerae nithaprath sadh bhooleeai || The sins and crimes I committed are countless; day by day, I continually make mistakes. moh magan bikaraal maaeiaa tho prasaadhee ghooleeai || I am intoxicated by emotional attachment to Maya, the treacherous one; by Your Grace alone can I be saved. look karath bikaar bikharrae prabh naer hoo thae naeriaa || Secretly, I commit hideous sins of corruption, even though God is the nearest of the near. binava(n)th naanak dhaeiaa dhhaarahu kaadt bhavajal faeriaa ||1|| Prays Nanak, shower me with Your Mercy, Lord, and lift me up, out of the whirlpool of the terrifying world-ocean. ||1||

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Great post taran veer.

And also, why is masturbating wrong? For female btw, because its not intercourse so is it still forbidden for amritshkya singni

Masturbation(thought or feeling) both male and female alike are connected to our body obviously, but also connected to our senses (gyan inderes) it incites our mind and senses which further makes us slave to sheer pleasure of body and senses. Female may not feel necessarily feel lustful(towards men) when they masturbate but trapped in their own "vanity of having pleasure', this desire of having pleasure or actual action of pleasure are turned into strong desires or unfulfilled desires in our sub consciousness mind which determines our future or next life..Hence, one is still trapped in birth and death cycle of reincarnation. And that is not just limited to lust or masturbation, pretty much any strong desire fulfilled or unfullfiled which are can be connected to 5 vices- lust, anger, greed, attachment and ego.

Gurbani says- bhai prapat manukh dehuriya gobind milan ki eh teri varie- After long you have gotten this human life, this is your chance to meet God and there are many place in gurbani where it talks towards human worldly pleasure just to compare with divine pleasure just so human can relate to it, at the end of day- be honest with yourself and you know more yourself more than anyone else besides vahiguroo, one already has engaged in many worldly pleasures, so time for one to compare it, go towards divine and start striving for divine bliss..once one start getting drizzle of divine bliss..just honestly compare that with your worldly pleasure..you will answer the question yourself....!!

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In order to give up masturbation, an offshoot of kaam, a new methodology has been adopted by the Animal Wellfare Society. Porn videos are inserted with images of tortured animals to assist u in stopping. If u continue however then u r a very sick individual, remember those animals!!!!!!!!!!! REMEMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Hello veerji

First of all, you are not alone in your temptations. Every human on the face of planet, even the saints in may other religions such as Christianity have had such temptations. All of us know how difficult they can be to overcome and deal with. Temptation is not something that you beat and then cast aside as a defeated foe, but rather something that we must countinally battle day after day and as all us sinners know, we don't always win.

First and foremost is to accept the fact that we are human beings and do not always succeed in living in a pure life no matter what it may be. You're going to fall and this is the reality you must accept. That is why we have ardas, so you can ask or confess you're sins to Waheguru. You must learn to forgive yourself and your moments of weakness for Waheguru already has done so before your ardas and I'm sure they understand the trials and temptations you go through each day. Do not get frustrated, do not get angry and above all do not hate, It is good that you dislike what you do, but do not hate yourself for it.

Okay, now for the very practical aspects of how to control your urges and deal with Kaam.

First and foremost is ardas, then prayers, followed by more prayers. These are the most important things by far, and asking Waheguru to help strengthen your will to overcome this temptation. Waheguru will grant you the grace, but it will still be difficult at times. When you have the desire to urge, start to pray and concentrate on Waheguru. Exercises are an important factor in reducing hormones and in general using up sexual energies. Running, swimming, dance, tennis, golf, gym, yoga, gym etc. should help your urges to a certain extent. Part of your desire and needs to be fulfilled are a result of your body's natural response to possibly procreate. Essentially your body is trying to tell you its time to start to start considering some sort of relationship with the opposite sex. Not to say that you need to get married right away or start having sexual intercourse, but to merely state that your body is pushing you in that direction. Although it could be many, many years off perhaps female companionship (platonic) would help alleviate some of this sexual tension. With such temptation veerji, it is not necessarily a good idea to go 'cold turkey' as it were. Its a lot like trying to quit smoking, drinking or swearing. although with smoking, your body's addiction to nicotine, tar or whatever else these cigarette contain nowadays can be broken down with patches or chewing gum. While your aim should be to stop immediately, doing so might be more difficult than it appears and thus you may feel even worse when you return to old thinking/doing habits. Instead, try to set goals and time periods. Set a certain number of weeks or days and a maximum number of times and then gradual increase weeks and decrease the number of times. This is by no means an endorsement, but merely a suggestion if you have difficulty stopping such thoughts or actions immediately. After a while you may be able to reduce your mind or your body's dependance on it or simply find that in conjunction with everything else you do, you simply no longer have the desire. Veerji try not to watch anything that might cause you to have impure thoughts. In this day of age with the internet, TV, magazines etc, it is extremely difficult to avoid graphics containing sexualised/pornographic images, but nonetheless this is something that should be attempted to as best as you can. Many people might be trying to tell you that this type of thing is natural and normal to sin, but that does necessarily make things right. Masturbation reduces you to a source of pleasure even the thoughts as your body responds to what your mind thinks, almost a thing. Sexual intercourse is a good thing, but only in the context of marriage, when the person you are sharing it with is the person you love and not a 'thing' or a means to an end of a short term pleasure.

Unfortunately this is something that you have to deal with for a while. You must accept the fact that you are not a bad person nor should you hate yourself for this. It will take us quite a long time to be able to eventually conquer this vices. Do not get frustrated, do not get angry, but continue to fight this constantly asking for Waheguru's help and doing paath regular. Also keep yourself busy and be strong in the mind.

Please excuse me for any mistakes.

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Prayer is the only way and by Guru ji grace, otherwise there is nothing any one can do, but try to avoid situations that bring kamm /lust on,

The panj chor are very powerful only maharaj ji can help beat them !!

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Totally agreed on prayer and guru's ji grace are the must. However, If we don't do when gurbani in various compositions tell us to do, regarding thoughts, understanding nature of mind with bibek buddhi then in my opinion one is simply copping out, taking easy way out by justifying they are doing one bit just prayer and ardas and feel don't have to do anything with controlling thoughts in mind ( i did that for years before )- everything takes birth from thoughts, thoughts are first concepted in mind, and turned into desire, desire turn into actions,action turn in to karam good or bad.

No one is saying its easy, biggest dharam yudh or jung or biggest battle of man kind is jung of mind, to having control over mind.. to have control of mind is like making strongest enemy/opposition to eat "lohai da chanaie", off course without full grace of guru is not possible. But first portion of grace from guru maharaj is already given to us in form of bibek buddhi and good attributes (dya, sat , santokh, gyan, prem), we all got good attributes, to discriminate good from bad to analyze, to do self inquiry...its a different matter if one has not invoke it or not aware of it, but first portion of guru's grace its there already within, take sahara of that and keep doing ardas along the way..as i said its not easy- i m nowhere near it, struggling with thoughts as well, but ardas/guru maharaj grace, self inquiry and those tips are helping.

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Guest ijaysgee

Hello veer ji...

From medical point of view its not masturbation but the guilt of it is disturbing.............it imposes a psychic effect..

Both men and women encounter d same desires, n masturbation is an usual solution to a very common problem, overdoing it enhances your guilt and degrades your health and self esteem, as gyani maskeen ji said:- its nt bad to have bad thoughts bt remaining entraped in 5 vices is bad,,

whenever u get such thoughts , try to return to normal i.e divinity ASAP,


dont regret cause our guru ji would never wanted us to....

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It's very simple, even from a Sikh point of view.

1. Get Married :p . There is no limit on sexual interaction as long as its with your husband/wife.

2. Get some hobbies and do sports, keep yourself busy. The more enjoyable activities you have filling your life, the less you'll feel inclined towards lust (you just won't care anymore). Exercise in particular releases 'feel good' hormones.

3. Masturbate, and take full control of your body. Your body has a built-in natural ability to make itself happy through masturbation, which releases 'feel good' hormones. Eating food and sleeping also releases these pleasure hormones (so some people get addicted to eating and become obese). You could very well argue... why do you even need a sexual partner when you can do it yourself? The answer would obviously be companionship and children.

There is nothing in Sikhism against masturbation that I know of. This is not Islam, where boys and girls need circumcisions to destroy sexual pleasure forever, where women need to be covered in a big black sheet so we don't instantly want to rape them.

In Sikhism, you are EXPECTED to be able to control yourself. If masturbating means you're taking full command of your own hormones and can take your mind off sex for other things, I personally don't see what's wrong with it.

Sure masturbation may not be a very saintly act, but Sikhism is also all about finding true happiness without needing to bother with things that are ACTUALLY LEGITIMATELY HARMFUL and can ruin your life (like alcohol, tobacco and multiple partners).

That said, some people choose to reject any form of sexual activity (this is called 'NO FAP' on bodybuilding and other forums) and feel far more focused and productive with their lives. You could try that.

Also PORN is PROVEN to be bad for you. It mainly leads to a very corrupted view of sex (porn is all fake of course) that can seriously damage self-esteem and future relationships. It can lead to depression, porn addiction, desensitization and because of that apparently even temporary erectile dysfunction in extreme cases. Also lots of wasted time, that part is inevitable.

So yeah... I wouldn't recommend that even if I wasn't on a Sikh forum :p , but I felt it had to be covered if there actually ARE any impressionable teens reading this. You aren't missing anything.

These are just my opinions of course, no offense intended. I'm sure more religious people are gonna outright say ignore lust and forget you even have genitals :p .

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