Sikh Girl Marrying Non-Sikh

[Sewadar]

If anyone from the UK knows how to resolve this peacefully, please come forward and assist. We've had instances in the past where similar news was put up on Sikhsangat.com and there was a law and order problem at the Gurdwara Sahib. Yes, this happened in the UK a few years ago.

I've removed the image of the wedding card as it discloses personal details, and have also edited out the name/location of the Gurdwara Sahib for security concerns. Those who can genuinely find out a way to check on this, please post.

[DalbirSingh]

Simple answer is raise kids better especially the daughters. With all of these female infanticides and eloping it seems the sikh population will go down the only way to stabilize it is for men to marry out aswell like marrying the polish women who actually respect their husbands and sikhi

[Jonny101]

Inter religious marriages are not Gurmat. One should teach their children about Sikhi and raise them with Sikh values so they do not marry out of the faith. If they find someone then atleast the other should be willing to adopt the Sikh faith and raise the children in Sikhi. There is no other way. When we do not teach our girls to do Paath everyday, learn Saakhis of the Gurus, Bhagats and Saints then they will more than likely identify with the values she see's non Sikhs practicing.

Sadly our own Granthis, Kirtanis have become weak. They know the rehit yet they turn their back on the rehit every time they perform an inter religious marriage in a Gurdwara just so they can fill their pockets with money or out of fear that they will lose their job in the Gurdwara.

[TandooriSingh]

Damn, I got here too late to read the actual names

Fact is.

ANY Gurdwara that performs the Anand Karaj ceremony for a non-Sikh is misleading their sangat and insulting the faith. A non-Sikh CANNOT walk around the Guru Granth Sahib and proclaim it as the centre of their universe. To suggest they can is a LIE, a JOKE and PAKHAND.

Not to mention it goes against the Rehat Maryada, our code of conduct.

It's a free country, Sikh guys and girls can do whatever the hell they want, but you DO NOT force your personal wishes on Sikhism. It came long before you, and it will exist long after you are dead. If you truly love Sikhism, then you will accept it for what it is. You can either follow it perfectly, follow it as best you can and hope your good actions make up for your inadequacies, or NOT follow it at all. It's just that simple.

If you're with a non-Sikh, you can either educate them and get them to convert, or forget about having that beautiful Anand Karaj of your dreams. Sikhism doesn't owe you a perfect wedding if you can't give anything back. If someone converts and then converts BACK to whatever they were originally, then you'll know you married a scumbag.

Chances are the Sikh marrying the non-Sikh was never a good Sikh in the first place. The children will likely not be taught Sikhism. It would be stupid of a Gurdwara to celebrate this event.

To stop this kind of thing happening in future?

First, we ACTUALLY teach our kids our Sikh religion and our powerful Sikh/Punjabi history and culture, give them the protective pride they DESERVE to have. This will keep them in the fold. Going to the Gurdwara every once in a while is not enough.

Second, assuming there was no foul play involved, then it's also the fault of Sikh guys for not being superior and not getting to this particular girl first.

To the Sikhs who are aware of this event and want to do something about it...

Grab a bunch of people, roll up to the Gurdwara, make them feel uneasy and create as big a noise as possible to ruin their wedding videos forever. If they don't respect Sikhism, then why should anyone respect their 'big day'?

Don't do anything stupid and get in any trouble, and don't get angry. Just stage a protest and cause a bit of mischief. Try singing over the ceremony or something. Troll the living crap out of them.

[N30S1NGH]

There is two way of approaching this- one gurmat way and other aurenzeb taliban fascist way. Sikhi is neither right or left wing, so we should avoid super imposing human tendancies/fascist traits on Gurmat.

Gurmat way: Peaceful pressure should be put on gurdwara committes before hand by giving them options and not cancel the event outright last minute - wedding is very stressful time for both families lets try to strike a right balance ..rather make other alternative arrangements within gurdwara While upholding sanctity of anand karaj providing them chaplain service -generic vows and anand sahib is recited and they are blessed by hakumnama from guru sahib/parchar guide and kara parsad. Sri Guru Gobind Singh Maharaj darbar had quite bit of diversity ie- 52 kavi poets from all back grounds in his darbar...i seriously cannot imagine if couples came to be blessed by guru sahib, sri guru gobind singh ji maharaj would reject them and not giving them their blessing. So stop turning our guru maharaj into one of your own kind, atleast spare guru maharaj..we already know if satguru nanak maharaj come back in his sargun saroop to test his sikhs- fascist element in our panth will jail him and stone him...so yeah give it a break.

Other way is solely based on mob way- crash the wedding- ruin the wedding, add more stress on two families, ruin the big day for two naive innocent couples just do keep in mind- everything has adverse effect not only this will make us look sikh extremist which i m sure we are not as community reason it appear so because of 1% of people make big noise and nobody is standing against their fascist views, anyway not only it will make look us sikh extermist but also we will segregate/divide people even more and from parchar stand point we loose potential generations of sikhs.

[DalbirSingh]

Inter religious marriages are not Gurmat. One should teach their children about Sikhi and raise them with Sikh values so they do not marry out of the faith. If they find someone then atleast the other should be willing to adopt the Sikh faith and raise the children in Sikhi. There is no other way. When we do not teach our girls to do Paath everyday, learn Saakhis of the Gurus, Bhagats and Saints then they will more than likely identify with the values she see's non Sikhs practicing.

Sadly our own Granthis, Kirtanis have become weak. They know the rehit yet they turn their back on the rehit every time they perform an inter religious marriage in a Gurdwara just so they can fill their pockets with money or out of fear that they will lose their job in the Gurdwara.

I knew an uncle who said women don't have any zaat in response to his son who eloped with a muslim girl, he told him to bring her home and not worry. It's seems to largely stem more from men than it does from women our 10 gurus were men, the panj pyare men, shaheed singhs men, all the gianis, raagis, kirtanis all men.

As for what is and what ain't gurmat, what do you think happened to women who were abducted as concubines by the mughals and rescued by sikhs, they came from a mixed group including muslims, their mothers and fathers didn't accept them back, nor did our ancestors want them held against their will to be living incubators for the pleasure of muhammadans. It's suggests those muslims women would have married early nihang singhs had children raised to be nihangs and true singhs. The only prohibition we can directly find on this behaviour is sau sakhis which seems man made, then we have our rehat of give your daughter to another singh not a moneh.

btw does anyone know why so many polish women are attracted to sikh men? Like they really love Sikh men more then even sikh women do

[proactive]

btw does anyone know why so many polish women are attracted to sikh men? Like they really love Sikh men more then even sikh women do

I've lost count of the number of freshies married to Polish women. Although the first thing that comes to mind is that this is just a marriage of convenience by the freshies so they can settle in this country but many can be just attraction between two people in a foreign country who have similar experiences of migrating into another country,

Just as we may lose some id.iots to conversion to other religions we gain converts from other religions so just as we lose one gaddhi who marries a non-Sikh, we get a non-Sikh female marrying a Sikh.

[Only five]

Can anyone show that Satguru Sri Guru Gobind Singh or any of the former Gurus blessed an union of any sort that did not come under Gurmat. People are being emotionally blackmailed here and pinned against a corner. What happened to open, honest post that don't manipulate the reader. N30 Singh, I honestly thought you did it on purpose, but now I am beginning to believe that you just don't know any better. You are just hardwired to manipulate others into believing what you believe. I say this with the most love in the world. Please brother get some real professional help.

If you want to take a Hukamnama then be prepared to listen to what the Hukamnama will teach all. A Hukam is not some beautiful poetry just to fascinate the hears. It needs to be absorbed into the mind and then practiced. Not a single Hukam from Maharaj blesses duality unions. And inter religious marriages base is duality. I believe in the Koran as the message of Allah, you believe in Sri Guru Granth Sahib as the message of Waheguru, both contradict each other, but we can get married because we have physical attraction for one another which we classify as love.

I don't hold the view that only Amritdharis should be allowed to be married by Anand Karaj. Reason why is because everyone is going to and has made mistakes. But what really matters when standing before Satguru is whether or not in that moment of complete hopelessness the Sikh bows to Satguru and ask forgiveness. Some have their boots stuck deeper in maya and every step is much more of a struggle and some have less mud around their boots and they can raise their boot one at a time quicker out of the mud.

I have met the real hardcore atheist that come to the Gurdwara just because a family function was held at the Gurdwara. These are the people who have no regard for Maharaj or anything in the Gurdwara. For these people Anand Karaj should never be done. These disrespectful people should never be tolerated for one second. However not every person that cuts his hair, drinks, parties, and only comes to the Gurdwara in a blue moon are going to fit in this category. Deep down majority of these Punjabis are still Sikhs as they still come and bow before Satguru regardless of how many mistakes they have made. To not let this group of people have an Anand Karaj is really pushing Satguru aside and dictating who can be married and who cannot based on mistakes.

As an Amritdhari, I cannot remember the many times I have stood before Maharaj and felt completely helpless, even though everything is better than fine in life. This feeling of complete surrender to Maharaj just doesn't exist in Amritdharis. I believe the line should be drawn at inter religious marriages. This is clear disobedient to the most fundamental teaching of Sikhi and there is zero tolerance for people that choose to go in this direction.

[13Mirch]

I knew an uncle who said women don't have any zaat in response to his son who eloped with a muslim girl, he told him to bring her home and not worry. It's seems to largely stem more from men than it does from women our 10 gurus were men, the panj pyare men, shaheed singhs men, all the gianis, raagis, kirtanis all men.

As for what is and what ain't gurmat, what do you think happened to women who were abducted as concubines by the mughals and rescued by sikhs, they came from a mixed group including muslims, their mothers and fathers didn't accept them back, nor did our ancestors want them held against their will to be living incubators for the pleasure of muhammadans. It's suggests those muslims women would have married early nihang singhs had children raised to be nihangs and true singhs. The only prohibition we can directly find on this behaviour is sau sakhis which seems man made, then we have our rehat of give your daughter to another singh not a moneh.

btw does anyone know why so many polish women are attracted to sikh men? Like they really love Sikh men more then even sikh women do

Got any Polish friends??? :biggrin2:

[SikhKosh]

Sikh children need to be grounded more, a good pendu style thappar if needed when raising them. Besides, I have thought about it, but the fact that the non-Sikh partner agreed to a Gurdwara wedding shows something no? Shouldn't we go a step further and encourage the non Sikh partner to embrace Sikhi in Sehajdhari form and also raise the kids as Sikhs?

As for the Sikh boys marrying non Sikhs, I've seen Sikh parents often tend to shun boys who marry Gorian or Sullian (or any other non-Sikhs), while they should instead be couraging to bring them into Sikhi and also the children. Theres many times the girls are even ready to convert but the parents don't agree.