Jump to content

Dating With Turban And Beard


AmanSingh1867
 Share

Recommended Posts

we do not date women like that , its against our rehat. treat all women as our sister/mother and daughter .

if you cannot its simply your fault. stay true to guru dont modify things as per your needs .

mashallah brother you are really keeping the ulma of allah alive.

Bro people don't just marry the first person they see these days, if you do that you could marry someone you can't get along with because of differences like you can't stand your wifey cutting you off

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest I m Singh

Another post criticising Punjabi women. Maybe the problem is if you're looking for someone to date/girlfriend then you'll approach Punjabi girls who have no interest in Sikhi. The Punjabi girls who respect Sikhi are less likely to be interested in dating, sounds like some people on this forum want the best of all worlds. Its no surprise that white girls are the ones you will end up with as they're willing to be long-term girlfriends. If you wish to have white girlfriends that's your choice but please don't say its because Punjabi girls are not interested in Sikh men. I go to the gurdwara and there are plenty of decent Punjabi Sikh girls/women who respect Sikhi . I suspect a lot of this is due to Punjabi men wanting to enjoy the single life with their white girlfriends and justfying it by blaming Punjabi women.

The question is why every sikh guy (having beard and turban) is moving to non sikh girls today???? why non sikh girls are finding sikh guys attractive and handsome? Have you ever thought Since 20th century How many Singhs Have been killed by Kaur just because she wants to have some stereotype or a guy who looks like a girl today??

I don't say all sikh girls are in that way but most of them are really we cannot deny it and preferring clean shaven faces. Sikh Matrimonial are the biggest proof of the hypocrisy of such girls...How much they love their own faith they are clearly saying there with this line " clean shaven sikh guy preferred ".

So the guys who are living with sikh identity should cut their hair and lose turban because we all know Sikh girls next preference is cleanshaven face.?

if a sikh girl herself says proudly "Yes I want my singh. I want my dashmesh pita's Singh, I want my Sardar because I m Sardarni" I bet out of 100, 80 will come back to sikhi,

Where our sikh girls dont hesitate to draw their dream boys from bollywood movies and songs do you think They would prefer their better half as sikh turbaned guy??

Sometimes I wonder If no any sikh guy cuts his hair what would they do? moving to non sikh guys for cleanshaven face? it means they would not mind to their own sikhi even it gets disappeared in future.wow.!!

sometimes I think why did our Gurus give you that much respect? so thats what sikh girls giving back to sikhi making useless assumptions like " sikhi is followed by heart,,not by hair" is this? when everybody knows Bana and Bani are two different things So why are girls so being hypcrites?

Go search the google or youtube or books or magazines or society you ll see the negative attitude of of sikh girl towards sikh guys and sikhism. and sikh girls are being attracted to Hindus muslims or white guys. Where the modern world is showing us a sikh girl is being pornstar with a famous name Sunny leone and attracting to entertainment media and glamour then how can she dream of her Singh? how can she think she is a sikh girl?

In last 5 years in uk and usa 1500 sikh girls married to hindus and muslim guys The reason was sikh men have turbans and beards ..when with the name "why sikh girls dont find sikh guys attractive" live shows are coming on BBC uk anchoring sonia deol and a call on phone comes in the show where a muslim guy says he is dating an amritdhari sikh girl from last 3 years.would you still say this is not a big issue?

I know probably that muslim guy was lying but dont you think that at last what a sikh girl is doing in society actually that every other guy is speaking about her? why everybody says sikh girls are easy to groom and make her fall in love...why other guys usually call her bimbo?

I share my personal experience I was in some pub jamming with my friends a muslim and white guy came to me and one of them said to me "Sikh girls are such a cheesy who is ready to lay down with any guy just need to have face without beard and that turban on your head." That guy was beaten badly by me but the words he said will always in my mind and and ask me why did he say like that? The answer of this question is YES ,,Most of the sikh girls are really in that way in the society because same as like other girls they also want to live the world not a sikhi.and when someone tries to give them nice advice, lol They use the most likable line by them that protects their hypocrisy I think they have only found the best line in the whole SGGS. The line is " We cannot judge others".

Yes you will find plenty of decent sikh punjabi girls in the gurdwaras..infact everywhere who respect sikhi..but for a quick survey ask them that how many of them have Sikh boy friend..I m pretty sure you ll get enough girls who will have sikh boy friend but at the same time ask them how many of them have sardar boyfriend and how many of them have cutsurds.. .I hope you will get your answer.

Myself being born and raised in multi racial society of london always been respected by non sikh girls .I have taught my turban to many girls and got hundreds of compliments from them for my outstanding look and if other people give me such a real respect without any hypocrisy my heart would really burst with pride. Sikh guy wants a girl who can accept him who is he ,Can accept his sikhi ,,Can accept his sikh identity . Can accept to raise her kids as sikh.

Yesterday I met a fashion designer named Jasleen Kaur Gupta ..I got this thing that she married to hindu guy. In fact I had nothing against her interfaith marriage but The thing that was notable was If kaur was so dear to her then why was not Singh dear to her? why did she move to other guy? okay if she moved then what hypocrisy she wanted to hide with her name? or what she wanted to tell other sikh girls that she married to Hindu guy so you can do too? everybody Knows her coming generations will not grown up as sikh now..I had opinion not to use Kaur if you married outside.

I have born in non religious sikh family but my mum was hindu so I know how a non sikh girl (being outsider to sikhi ) could realize the importance of sikhi in her life..she gave her best.My all sikh friends are cutsurds but because of my good upbringing by mum I m still sikh guy. I was ten years old when I felt sikh girls are not doing good with sikh guys. ..

No one is blaming a punjabi women..she is herself responsible for such a miserable situation with her own acts. In the modern world she has herself made his royal status level as served by our Gurus to Zero level and you say we are living our single lives with white girls? Then I say they get attracted to our beard and turban and give much respect than any hypocrite sikh girl.. I never seen in my whole life a sikh girl saying "Hey see there what a sexy and hott Sikh guy" I know they use these terms but only for Cutsurd guys..But other girls do it for sikh guys if they aint racist ..

I love sikh girls especially baptized ones even I would love to marry one of them no doubt but only those who are really honest to their sikhi without a single self interest .without any hypocrisy.

Go and study the issue first by being honest to this major issue If you are a nice sikh woman then you should not come to cover the hypocrisy of most of the sikh punjabi girls.

If someone sikh guy is blaming a sikh woman then there are strong reasons for it.. you ll realize them later

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes there are Punjabi girls who are not interested in someone if he wear’s a pagh just like there are non-Punjabi girls who are not interested. The OP was referring to dating, if a girl respects Sikhi she is less likely to be interested in dating – its just double standards to critisce Punjabi girls for not being Sikh enough because they don’t date you, whether you have a pagh or not.

You sound genuine and I wouldn’t give up on meeting a decent Punjabi girl, and avoid developing bitter feelings as expressed by some of the posters on this forum. From some of the examples in your post, you seem too eager to paint a negative picture of Punjabi girls – its like saying all Punjabi men are like Monty Panesar after his recent behaviour? Its easy to get influenced by others especially on these forums where there seems to be a hate campaign against Punjabi girls. I don’t need to look at google to see whats going on around me –most of the men wearing paghs at the gurudwara I go to are married, and they generally look smarter than those without a pagh. I agree with the OP that confidence counts, girls/women are attracted to personality and sense of humour not just looks. Perhaps the people who are complaining on these forums are themselves influenced by Bollywood and want the more superficial types of girls who focus more on their appearance rather than Sikhi and are overlooking the more simpler modest girls.

Women in general in our culture are not valued as highly as men and so its easy to blame them when things don't go your way and that explains some of the vicious comments on these sites. If men wish to date and end up with white women that's their choice and shouldn't make feeble excuses blaming Punjabi women who have been bought up not to date whether you wear a pagh or not.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks to the last poster - could not have said it better myself. About time someone put in an Unbiased perspective up in here

As a girl raised with sikh values in Australia I want to share my 2 cents worth

I was brought up not to date guys, I am 25 now; never ever had a bf. It was probably for the best because I dont think you are fully capable to understand love when you are so young. Most likely its purely physical attraction, a fitting in strategy or a way to beat insecurities. That being said now that I am mature I know about me, I know what values are dear to me and what I look for in a guy to be my life partner.

I was brought up to understand and truly respect sikh turban and therefore I would NEVER even consider dating any guy without a turban and beard. My personal opinion is that the Punjabi/sikh guys that have chosen to cut their hair/ dont tie a turban actually have no balls to go out in public and display their sikhi. They are cowards to me (sorry but thats me). When I see a turbaned full beared guy I think wow! it shows me you commitment to sikhi and fact youve got guts to withstand the general publics looks/judgments.

So yeah us girls we do exist, we are waiting for our mr singh!- but there are some barriers that prevent us which is killing our race these include

I tots agree with OP abour your confidence level, I get asked out by non-Punjabi guys or guys with cut hair but never from turbaned guys. Why? I know you are interested but most of you dont have the confidence to just come and talk without sounding like you having an alternative motive. Just talk to us casually as a friend, make it light, laugh a little and play it cool- you just need to strike up an interesting convo- is that so hard!.

Definitely the fact that most decent sikh girls are not allowed to date or to go out as much as guys is a big factor. Our Punjabi culture as you are aware is more limiting for girls then guys. If someone from our society catches us chatting away with another boy, we are the ones that are shunned, frowned upon and labelled.

Boys talk about us girls dreaming of Bollywood heroes, are you forgetting Punjabi societys pressure on us we have to be fair skinned, tall, thin, big boobs, small waist, big eyes, full lips etc. Did you ever think that because of this, we may be shy, insecure, lack confidence and thus push you away, ignore you or reply defensively?

I mean when girls are of marriageable age they need to jump through all the hoops for you and your family do house work, be educated, earn money, look like a model etc. Most of you want a 21st century modern girl who probably earns the same as you but has to have the traditional values of also coming home to cook and clean for you and your parents. Double standards or what, shouldnt society perspective also change for todays women?

For the guys complaining and bagging Punjabi sikh girls I have a few questions for you I want to do a role reversal; how many of you guys will go after or even consider dating the following girls?

Sikh Girls that do not cut their hair, the ones that do not wax or shave any part of their body?

The sikhni with full facial hair- eyebrow, moustache everything?

or even those who wear a turban/dastar?

It may not be widely documented in the media but just as there is prejudice against turbaned/bearded guys it is the same for these sikhnis

They are being turned down by Punjabi households from marriage or dating; in fact I have seen Punjabi boys that, instead of backing these girls, they are ones making the jokes or remarks about them.

To the bros that think they are doing sikhi a great favour by dating a non- Punjabi and thus educating them about who Sikhs. Your gf may have respect for your sikhi but lets be realistic, lets think long term- what about your kids? How many generations do you think your children or childrens children will last without cutting their own hair do you expect that the child whos mum doesnt know how to tie a dastar and knows little or no gurmukhi (who probably wont convert herself to sikhi) can be able to sustain sikhi in this modern age?

I feel ashamed when you question if sikh girls should have got the respect that guru Ji blessed us with - this remark is so backward why would u even question it.

To my sikh brothers a request for those that are dating please just stop once and ask your self what is your actual motive/ why r u doing this? Guru Ji has asked us not to engage in kaam, be weary make sure u are not digging ur self and the girl into a hole.

Wjkkwjkf

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh wow, I wanted to avoid people bashing Punjabi girls in this thread, but that is exactly what has happened :(
I want to clear somethings up though:
1) If it wasn't already clear, that huge chunk of text in the original post was NOT written by me, it is a copy and paste from a thread started on reddit (I attached the link at the bottom).
2) Like the guy who did type it up, I am also dating a white girl/gori. HOWEVER, and this is important, I AM NOT SLEEPING WITH HER! There is a difference between dating (getting to know one another/hanging out/seeing if you guys click) and sleeping with someone, they DO NOT go hand in hand.
3) @Singh123456777, I do not know how old you are, but there are very few girls out there who would have an arranged marriage with a guy these days. Likewise, there are very few guys out there who would have an arranged marriage with a girl these days. I know I wouldn't. I want to get to know her on a personal level before I commit to anything. There is nothing wrong with that. I just want to find out if we are compatible BEFORE we tie the knot, it is much better than finding out afterwards.
Okay, with that out of the way, I want to say that this thread was intended to be about keshdari guys pondering over whether they play a role in driving Punjabi girls away from turban/beard Sikh men.
Let us consider the two points made by the reddit user in the copy/paste:
a) Keshdari men lack confidence. What do I believe? From experience, I'd say it's true. Between growing up hearing about other guys getting rejected for the turban and beard, to the superficiality of western culture that favors clean shaven men and women over those who keep their hair, it is not hard to understand. So by the time these guys are in their mid-late teens, they have been thoroughly conditioned to believe that the vast majority of girls out there will not go for them because of their kesh. Add to that the fact that a lot of these guys tend to hang around other keshdari/Indian men, they aren't really doing themselves any favors. The poster says that keshdari men are by and large NOT used to socializing with members of other races and especially not with women (any women) outside their families.
I find it to be true, Punjabi culture emphasizes "sticking to your own kind", and also separation of the sexes. Socialization between guys and girls is generally frowned upon. So most lads and lassies who are into Sikhi don't have much contact with the opposite sex. Now, some guys may complain about the double standard, about how nobody cares that the girls aren't used to talking with men and wanting to know why only they are being faulted for not being able to talk to girls, but the answer is simple: nature demands that males "take charge". "jump to action", "make the first move". Evolution has programmed us in such a way that men are the ones who are supposed to do the approaching and initiating. Now, to do that, you need confidence, something that the poster suggests turban/beard guys tend to lack. Look at the comment above by "GKaur", specifically the part where she mentions that keshdari men do not approach/tend to give off a vibe of "ulterior motives". There isn't anything wrong with her comment, she is being honest, it is the truth.
Men, start acting like men. Do you have dreams and passions? Have you found something worth dying for? There was a time when every man had a vision of what he wanted the world to be like in his head, and he would go out and put his everything into replicating it in reality. Our Gurus were like that, our shaheeds had that quality too. Sad that most men today are content with sitting around and letting life pass them second by second. Start focusing less on "getting girls" and complaining about how horrible Punjabi girls have become, they're still the same as always, it is we who have changed. My father tells me about how a few decades ago, Punjabi women DEMANDED a proper Singh, back when Singhs were still leaders, visionaries, pioneers, "manly men". The Singhs of today are more content with complaining, whining and eating gulab jaman it seems :( The most charismatic, determined man I have ever known in my life is a 60-something year old keshdari man I met at the Gurdwara. Active, fit, plays sports, funny, nice, respectful, built himself up from nothing, today owns his own business and is living life on his terms. Is at the Gurdwara every day doing whatever seva he can. Men, women, kids, everyone are drawn to him because of his personality, leadership skills and determination. If this guy was at Uni today, he would be able to have whatever girl he wanted. Like I said guys, girls are still the same as they've always been, they are still attracted to the same things they've always been attracted to, we (keshdari guys) just have this defeatist attitude where we think the kesh is stopping us from having what we want.
b) Physically, the user says that keshdari guys tend to be out-of-shape. I don't know about this one lol, I don't think they've done any formal study/survey haha :p I can only speak from personal experience, a hefty chunk of monas hit the gym or are involved in some sort of physically demanding activity (usually a sport). This percentage seems to be lower amongst the keshdaris. I don't know why this is. Factor in the horrible nutritional value of your average Punjabi-diet, and it's a recipe for disaster.
Lettuce be realtea gentlemen, looks matter. I know in Punjabi culture, women are supposed to look past the exterior and fall in love with a guy's kindness and sweet nature etc etc... but let's get our heads of of the sand, it doesn't always play out like that in the real world. I was having a chat about this with my sister a while back, she basically told me that if a guy can't take care of himself, why should she trust him to take care of her? I am not suggesting that we all turn into meat-heads and try to emulate the physique of Mr.Dwayne Johnson, but I have found that there is a certain type of personality women are attracted to. Girls tend to fall for a guy then can depend on (has a backbone), someone who will be successful (has ambition, and I am not talking about money here, I mean knowing what you want and not being scared to go after it) and someone who is decisive (has charge). Having a fit body shows that you have the determination, ambition and charge to put in the time at the gym to get what you want, it shows you don't give up easily/are not lazy. Having a huge gut shows the opposite and is not attractive on a physical or personality level.
Being out of shape also reduces testosterone levels, which sheds off even more of your manliness. Testosterone is what gives you that kick on your rear-end and drives you to pursue what you desire, it is what makes you a man, a neutered (untestosteronized) dog cannot be a sheepdog, it has no drive. Stay fit, eat HEALTHY FOOD, make sure you are getting enough protein in your diet, and keep those T-levels high :p
@GKaur bhenji, you asked:

For the guys complaining and bagging Punjabi sikh girls I have a few questions for you I want to do a role reversal; how many of you guys will go after or even consider dating the following girls?

Sikh Girls that do not cut their hair, the ones that do not wax or shave any part of their body?
The sikhni with full facial hair- eyebrow, moustache everything?
or even those who wear a turban/dastar?

I am putting my hand up! I think women with dastar are absolutely beautiful, and full facial hair, as long as she doesn't mind it/doesn't let it drag her down, I wouldn't have a problem with it either. I am not just looking for someone who will cook for me/clean for me/sleep with me. I want a partner, someone who is commited to living healthy (a gym buddy would be nice lol), someone who I can have fun with, I love to travel, I want a wife I can see the world with. Mountain climbing and skydiving are just two things I have on my bucket-list, I want someone I can do all of that and more with. I would like a wife with whom I can trailblaze, we shall create our own path in life and do things no one has ever done before, attempt things the rest of the world just talked about, because we would be the children of Sri Guru Gobind Singh Ji and Mata Sahib Kaur Ji, afraid of nothing, and looking forward to every new challenge! And at the end of the day, she should also love Guru Ji and want to pass Sikhi on into the next generation, to start a family with me, raise good kids, and stay with me for the rest of my life. Her kesh, even if there is extra, would just make her that much more beautiful :)
Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is kind of long, but I think it's pretty important. This is also from that reddit thread, another post by the same user. The definition of a man:

Women are not as incomprehensible as they're made out to be. Mainstream culture jokes about this all the time, that they never mean what they say, that their needs are constantly changing, that they're impossible for you, as a male, to ever fully understand. Stephen Hawking even called women the "biggest mystery in the Universe". I am here to tell you that none of it is true.

Women's needs (just like our needs) are quite simple. Women, in a nutshell, want a MAN. That's it. The Universe's greatest mystery has been solved lol.

You see, the real problem is defining what a "Man" really is. It seems like everyone has their own opinion, jocks, nerds, teenagers, oldies, everyone has something different to say. I'm going to give you my definition, tried and tested by myself:

A Man,

-Does not go through life walking on eggshells.

Boys think, "Does she like me? How do I get her to like me?" MEN think, "Should I like her? Should I go for her?" The MAN doesn't think about the girl's interest until they're dating. MEN look at all the girls and TAKE what they want. Go for what you want.

-Focuses on his dreams.

No, this does not include the chick. You must have passion for something in life, something you even want to do for the rest of your life. Your romantic life is an echo of your regular life. Find your passion (art, music..), a life-long dream to own the world, etc, and go for it.

-Does not apologize for his testosterone, for his desires.

"Oh, I am so sorry, ladies! I am afflicted with this disease known as M.A.L.E. It is natural for me to glance at you, your oh so curvaceous body. I am soooo sorry. Please, please FORGIVE ME!"

Would a WOMAN apologize for her feminine acts? So why should YOU apologize for your masculinity (this doesn't mean you should be a pervert lol)? Don't deny that you want to feel fulfilled.

-Tries to always win in what he does. (After childhood, there are real winners and losers in life.)

Men build towers; women build webs. If you aren't constructing your tower or aren't even planning it, why should she cast her web at you? If you want worthy chicks, you, yourself, must strive to become worthy. Never give up.

-Has deep convictions that allows him to be a possible leader.

This is crucial because one day you will become the leader of your own household. Yes, we talk of 50/50, of everything being equal, but Nature's laws surpass that of Humans. Women naturally submit and nurture, Men naturally lead and provide.

If you were a woman, would YOU want a boy in charge of your household? Or would you want A MAN? Take control of your life.

-Seeks to solve problems then to place blame.

If there is a problem, you solve it. You do not go, "Oh, BOO HOO! This was because of HIM, or THIS or THAT." A woman naturally wants a guy who deals with problems, not pass them along. (Would you want that in your woman? Of course not!). Act instead of complaining.

-Sees failure as only a temporary set-back to the inevitable.

Statistically, you're more likely to be REJECTED then to be ACCEPTED. So how do you become more and more accepted and have lots of success with girls? It is when you increase your trying so much that the acceptance rate satisfies you and you don't notice the rejections.

Napoleon Hill's book interviewing extremely successful people, these men of destiny did not let failure destroy them. Indeed, Napoleon concludes that Destiny puts out these trials and failures to TEST the men if they are proper and FIT for their role in shaping history. Life goes on, your day WILL come.

-Knows where he is going in Life.

True seduction isn't calculation or painful discipline, it is the same as with everything that makes a success: A Passion for Life. Have a life-plan, and be in control of it.

-Never loses his passion, for that would be the death of his soul.

Weak, insecure boys HATE bachelorhood. They HATE, HATE, HATE it sooo much. Some even wish for the old days of arranged marriages so they wouldn't have to put up with all the games.

Jerks LOVE bachelorhood so much they can't see anything else in life. While women love guys that can get women, jerks offer nothing worthwhile long term wise.

Alas, the women always try to change the <banned word filter activated> but never the boy. Why? Because a Man is STRENGTH and a <banned word filter activated> displays strength on some level. Boys never do.

Don't be a boy, don't be a <banned word filter activated>. Neither are going to make you happy in the long-term. Be a MAN. Treat everyone with respect, and expect nothing less in return.

Have heart and dedication to YOUR life.

-Never feels he has to prove himself to anyone.

Flowers, candy, poetry all can be good additions to a relationship, but so many guys use them to BUY the relationship as if they must prove themselves. They flood with the poor woman with gifts to show they mean it.

So away with the flowers, those dead plants as tokens of affection. Away with the choclate, the candy, and sweets, those sugary pursuits to purchase love. Away with the poety, those rotten verses of declarations of love. Away with the quest to prove YOURSELF and let her prove HERSELF to you for YOU are the MAN. If anyone shall hate you, toss you away, make you inferior, then they are of no worth to you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest kaur101

An interesting thought for you- what is real love?

My interpretation is that real love when you truly accept the other person for who they are – all of their strengths and all of their weaknesses.

When people talk about their love ‘growing’ – it is that your tolerance and acceptance level of that person is increasing.

You are content with what they are and you do not want to change them- that’s real love!. (side note: for the girls that didn’t accept you for your turbans- they are not girls worth pursuing)

See most conflicts arise when people try to change others or try to prove that they are right and the other person is wrong.

If you see faults with your partner please don’t try to change them, question yourself is there something I can change in my own self first?

Change your own thinking and mindset- you are the one that needs to lead by example.

If you find your partner gets angry quickly – show them practically by always being calmer and better at resisting the urge to lash out.

The first and foremost step is that you need to understand yourself.

Who are you?

Now remember your body in this life form, it is just a shell- the atma/soul inside this shell is the real thing- try to understand that. What is this creature?

And this understanding, my friends, can only come through simran and being one with waheguru.

Good luck everyone on finding your soul mate

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 months later...

If you treat all women as your sister, mother, daughter then what does that make of your sisters husband, mothers husband and daughters husband.

Do some of you commenters even think about what u are writing before you post it

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Bhai Kulbir Singh explains it perfectly.


You have to remember if before everything else you are the student of your Guru.



The Real Majnoos Vs Worldly Majnoos



Meaning of Majnoo



Majnoo literally means crazy. Other synonyms for this word in Indian languages are Divaana, Baura, Baawra, Pagla, Paagal, Kamla etc.



Even though the word Majnoo means Divaana but in Punjabi, Hindi and Urdu, this word is used for such person who becomes crazy in love. Mostly, Majnoo is associated with such male lover who goes crazy over infatuation with a female.



The most famous worldly Majnoo has been a person called Qaiz who became crazy in love with a girl called Laila. He became so crazy that he left his home and really became a crazy person and soon people forgot his real name and everyone started calling him Majnoon-e-Laila which means Majnoo of Laila.



If an ordinary worldly person hears this story, he is probably inspired and loves it but when a Gurmukh hears about the plight and fate of Qaiz, he feels sorry for Qaiz but also knows that while the love of Qaiz may have been sincere and genuine but his object of love was false. He wasted his human life in love of an idol of flesh and blood.



Two types of Majnoos



There are two types of Majnoos out there – Majnoos of Vaheguru and Majnoos of Laila.



It’s okay if worldly people are Majnoos of Laila but when we find a Gursikh looking person become a Majnoo of Laila our heads are lowered with shame. We are not going to bother about non-Sikh Majnoos because they don’t concern us but our worry is for Sikh youth (males and females) who are increasingly imitating their Western peers and acting out like them by getting involved in boyfriend-girlfriend relationships.



Summary of a Conversation between a Sikh Majnoo and a Gursikh



Here is a brief conversation between a Sikh youth who became a Majnoo and a Gursikh who was trying to dissuade him from committing a mistake and becoming a Majnoon-e-Laila:



“If I don’t get married to her I will die” – Dear brother when you took Amrit, wasn’t the understanding that your life was now not yours but Guru Sahib’s? This was the whole idea of giving head to Guru Sahib. If you are so eager to die, there are worthy causes for dying. Why die to get married to an idol of flesh and blood?



“But my love for her is not physical; I love her soul” – What are you talking about brother? Your love is not with her body but with her soul? Have you seen your own Aatma (soul) yet? Then how did you manage to see her soul and fall in love with it? Save yourself if you can. This relationship has already put a black stain on your White chador of Sikhi. If you still don’t wake up, you will fall further deep in this trap of Maya. Wake up and realize that your relationship with Guru Sahib takes precedence over everything else.



“What I meant was that my love for her is purely platonic (without Kaam)” – Dear brother, this human life was not given to us by Guru Sahib to have Kaamic love or non-Kaamic love. Anything that can possibly break or weaken our relationship with Vaheguru, should be avoided. If she is meant to be for you, then by the work of Vaheguru, you will get married to her. When the time for Anand Sanskaar arrives, you will get married. Don’t go around hunting for marriage partners like Western people.




Why a Gurmukh does not become Majnoo of a Laila



Gurmukhs realize that everything that is visible is false and nothing in this world is true. They fall in love with the creator of this world - Vaheguru - by chanting his Naam day and night. They fall in love with Naam and the Giver of Naam – Satguru. Gurmukhs too are Majnoos. They are Majnoon-e-Allah i.e. Majnoos of Vaheguru.



Bhai Nandlal jee has put forward a very interesting Pankiti:



ਗੋਇਆ ਦੋ ਜਹਾਂ ਰਾ, ਬ-ਜਵੇ ਨਾ ਸਿਤਾਨਦ।


ਮਜਨੂਨੇ ਤੌ, ਕੈ ਆਸ਼ਕੇ ਲੈਲਾ ਬਾਸ਼ਦ।



(Goya (Bhai Nandlal jee) does not place the price of two worlds equal to even a seed of Jau. Why would your Majnoo O Vaheguru, become an Aashiq (lover) of a Laila?)



Bhai Sahib is asking a question – why would Vaheguru’s Majnoo become infatuated with a Laila? Laila here represents a girl (or a boy in case of girls). One heart is capable of having only one lover. Once the heart is taken by one lover, it can’t be taken away by someone else. One heart, in one lifetime can only truly love one personality. A Gurmukh’s heart is already taken by Vaheguru. There is no chance that a Gurmukh would lose his heart to a worldly lover.



Coming back to Bhai Sahib’s question why would a Vaheguru jee’s Majnoo be Aashiq on a Laila? The question can be answered with another question – Why would someone who is in love with Truth, fall in love with False?



Below are some examples from history that highlight the high moral characters of Gursikhs.



Sardar Baghel Singh



One of the incidents that highlight the high moral character of Puratan Sikhs, took place during the 1700s, and involves a Muslim girl of Lahore royal family that fell in the hands of a Jatha of Singhs under the command of Sardar Baghel Singh. Sardar jee in those times was in his prime and a very handsome young man. On the other hand, this Muslim princess whose name I can’t remember now, was known for her good looks. She was accustomed to getting attention for her good looks. Anyone who looked at her once would look at her again as is the natural reflex. At first when she found herself amidst the sworn enemy of her family – the Singhs, she was terrified. But when she noticed that Singhs were not even looking at her, she got a bit surprised and upset too. She couldn’t understand why no one was looking at her and why her beauty was not found to be attractive here. She was safely escorted back to her parents but before that she got an opportunity to talk to Sardar Baghel Singh. He explained to her the high moral standards set by Guru Sahib. She got very impressed hearing all this. Such was the character of Singhs, in olden days. This incident has been very beautifully captured by the superb writing of Sardar Sadhu Singh Hamdard the former editor of Punjabi Ajit in India. I read this when I was a child.




Master Tara Singh and the English woman



An English woman wrote a very interesting incident concerning Master Tara Singh. Master Tara Singh was very young at that time and was travelling on a train. Across from him a beautiful young English woman was sitting. She had been accustomed to attention from men but she was surprised and very impressed to see that not once did Master jee try to take a glance at her. So impressed was she that she actually wrote about this incident. Such was the high character of our leaders in the past.




Bau Mal Singh jee in Belgium



Bau Mal Singh jee, one of the closest companion of Bhai Sahib Randhir Singh jee was serving in 1st World War in Belgium. During the evening time, he was sitting on a bench when some women sat near him. The started conversing with him and at some point asked him if he liked them. They had other intentions for Bau jee but they did not know that Bau jee was not an ordinary person. He was a player of high spiritual states. Bau jee responded by saying that surely he liked them. They were very pleased to hear this. The next moment Bau jee said that he liked them like his sister and daughter. They were shocked to hear and fled uttering unintelligible utterings.




Sant Arjun Singh jee



Sant Arjun Singh jee was a companion of Bhai Sahib Randhir Singh jee. Sant jee was a very great soul. When Bhai Sahib was arrested, he too was arrested by police and they asked him if he knew Bhai Sahib. His response was very interesting. He said, “what to talk about me, the three worlds know Bhai Sahib”. The police released him after keeping him in detention for couple of days. He knew not what fear was. He worried not about anything. He stayed in the divine state of Naam all the time.



One day, he was submerged in the divine colours of Naam that he wandered unintentionally to that part of the city where flesh trade takes place. He was young and handsome and as is the custom of flesh trade bazaar, the working women there started calling and seducing him. At that point Sant jee got aware of his surroundings. He was not a normal person like Ajamal who was hit by Kaam when a young prostitute had just looked at him provocatively and this way lost his whole life to Kaam. Sant jee were very accomplished Gursikh and right away he was hit by immense bairaag. In full bairaag, he in a loud piercing voice started doing kirtan. Imagine what chaos would have occurred in this bazaar at the sight of a Gurmukh-Sant doing kirtan. The hearts that were burning with the fire of Kaam were extinguished in an instant. The women who just a moment ago were trying to seduce Sant jee, fell at his feet. Their hearts were purified by the effect of Gurbani kirtan. They beseeched and they implored to him to save them from Kalyug. Sant jee stayed oblivious and when they continued their imploring, Sant jee freed himself from them and hurriedly left the place. Before leaving he declared that only they will be saved who accept the amrit of Siri Dasmesh jee. Such was the character of Gursikhs of those times.



The Piteous State of Today’s Sikh Youth



If we notice a Gursikh, who has taken Amrit of Guru Sahib and becomes so attracted to the member of opposite sex that he (or she) can only think of her and can’t live without her, then surely such person was never in love with Guru Sahib. Every now and then we hear of a Gursikh brother or sister, shamelessly declaring that he or she will die unless he or she marries such and such person. How did a Gursikh end up at such stage? Wasn’t he an Amritdhari to begin with? How did he violate such a strict order of Guru Sahib of considering other-women as mothers, sisters and daughters?



Our youth now-a-days has reached such state that it has no hesitation or shame before openly communicating with the members of opposite sex. Today they start chatting with someone, tomorrow they start sharing their problems with each other, the day after tomorrow they develop feelings for each other and soon they are going out. Even at Kirtan Samagams where countless Gurmukhs are engaged in praising the true Lord, some of the misled youth are overcome with Aashiqaana feelings (Amorous feelings). The high, impregnable character of Khalsa youth has taken such a beating. Today if you look around, you can count on your fingertips such individuals who have not been stained by entering into relationships before marriage.



The Internet has really shrunk the world. Today, if something occurs in the Sikh community in one country, it quickly spreads across the globe. If a young male or female commits an act of transgression, then the reputation of such individual is stained for life. Once one’s character gets stained, it’s hard to build it back.



Gursikhs must rise above the Maya of this world and maintain strong Khalsa character. The time of marriage and the partner for life has already been chosen by Vaheguru. So relax and stop hunting for your life partner on your own. A Sikh youth who keeps strong character, keeps Sikhi Rehit is always in demand as far as marriage is concerned. A youth who starts hunting for a life partner on his own, soon gets his character stained and before he or she realizes, it’s too late.



No one is saying that we should become a segregated society like the Muslims and keep Purdah and don’t talk with each other at all. What’s required is to know our limits. Far too many Kaam-related mistakes are being committed by our youth because of their proximity to members of opposite sex.



Far too many youth are hanging and chilling together before getting married, this is not in line with Gursikhs




May Guru Sahib do Kirpa and enable his Sikhs to keep a strong moral character on which Guru Sahib can be proud of.



Bhul Chuk dee Maafi jee



Kulbir Singh

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Bhai Kulbir Singh explains it perfectly.

You have to remember if before everything else you are the student of your Guru.

The Real Majnoos Vs Worldly Majnoos

Meaning of Majnoo

Majnoo literally means crazy. Other synonyms for this word in Indian languages are Divaana, Baura, Baawra, Pagla, Paagal, Kamla etc.

Even though the word Majnoo means Divaana but in Punjabi, Hindi and Urdu, this word is used for such person who becomes crazy in love. Mostly, Majnoo is associated with such male lover who goes crazy over infatuation with a female.

The most famous worldly Majnoo has been a person called Qaiz who became crazy in love with a girl called Laila. He became so crazy that he left his home and really became a crazy person and soon people forgot his real name and everyone started calling him Majnoon-e-Laila which means Majnoo of Laila.

If an ordinary worldly person hears this story, he is probably inspired and loves it but when a Gurmukh hears about the plight and fate of Qaiz, he feels sorry for Qaiz but also knows that while the love of Qaiz may have been sincere and genuine but his object of love was false. He wasted his human life in love of an idol of flesh and blood.

Two types of Majnoos

There are two types of Majnoos out there – Majnoos of Vaheguru and Majnoos of Laila.

It’s okay if worldly people are Majnoos of Laila but when we find a Gursikh looking person become a Majnoo of Laila our heads are lowered with shame. We are not going to bother about non-Sikh Majnoos because they don’t concern us but our worry is for Sikh youth (males and females) who are increasingly imitating their Western peers and acting out like them by getting involved in boyfriend-girlfriend relationships.

Summary of a Conversation between a Sikh Majnoo and a Gursikh

Here is a brief conversation between a Sikh youth who became a Majnoo and a Gursikh who was trying to dissuade him from committing a mistake and becoming a Majnoon-e-Laila:

“If I don’t get married to her I will die” – Dear brother when you took Amrit, wasn’t the understanding that your life was now not yours but Guru Sahib’s? This was the whole idea of giving head to Guru Sahib. If you are so eager to die, there are worthy causes for dying. Why die to get married to an idol of flesh and blood?

“But my love for her is not physical; I love her soul” – What are you talking about brother? Your love is not with her body but with her soul? Have you seen your own Aatma (soul) yet? Then how did you manage to see her soul and fall in love with it? Save yourself if you can. This relationship has already put a black stain on your White chador of Sikhi. If you still don’t wake up, you will fall further deep in this trap of Maya. Wake up and realize that your relationship with Guru Sahib takes precedence over everything else.

“What I meant was that my love for her is purely platonic (without Kaam)” – Dear brother, this human life was not given to us by Guru Sahib to have Kaamic love or non-Kaamic love. Anything that can possibly break or weaken our relationship with Vaheguru, should be avoided. If she is meant to be for you, then by the work of Vaheguru, you will get married to her. When the time for Anand Sanskaar arrives, you will get married. Don’t go around hunting for marriage partners like Western people.

Why a Gurmukh does not become Majnoo of a Laila

Gurmukhs realize that everything that is visible is false and nothing in this world is true. They fall in love with the creator of this world - Vaheguru - by chanting his Naam day and night. They fall in love with Naam and the Giver of Naam – Satguru. Gurmukhs too are Majnoos. They are Majnoon-e-Allah i.e. Majnoos of Vaheguru.

Bhai Nandlal jee has put forward a very interesting Pankiti:

ਗੋਇਆ ਦੋ ਜਹਾਂ ਰਾ, ਬ-ਜਵੇ ਨਾ ਸਿਤਾਨਦ।

ਮਜਨੂਨੇ ਤੌ, ਕੈ ਆਸ਼ਕੇ ਲੈਲਾ ਬਾਸ਼ਦ।

(Goya (Bhai Nandlal jee) does not place the price of two worlds equal to even a seed of Jau. Why would your Majnoo O Vaheguru, become an Aashiq (lover) of a Laila?)

Bhai Sahib is asking a question – why would Vaheguru’s Majnoo become infatuated with a Laila? Laila here represents a girl (or a boy in case of girls). One heart is capable of having only one lover. Once the heart is taken by one lover, it can’t be taken away by someone else. One heart, in one lifetime can only truly love one personality. A Gurmukh’s heart is already taken by Vaheguru. There is no chance that a Gurmukh would lose his heart to a worldly lover.

Coming back to Bhai Sahib’s question why would a Vaheguru jee’s Majnoo be Aashiq on a Laila? The question can be answered with another question – Why would someone who is in love with Truth, fall in love with False?

Below are some examples from history that highlight the high moral characters of Gursikhs.

Sardar Baghel Singh

One of the incidents that highlight the high moral character of Puratan Sikhs, took place during the 1700s, and involves a Muslim girl of Lahore royal family that fell in the hands of a Jatha of Singhs under the command of Sardar Baghel Singh. Sardar jee in those times was in his prime and a very handsome young man. On the other hand, this Muslim princess whose name I can’t remember now, was known for her good looks. She was accustomed to getting attention for her good looks. Anyone who looked at her once would look at her again as is the natural reflex. At first when she found herself amidst the sworn enemy of her family – the Singhs, she was terrified. But when she noticed that Singhs were not even looking at her, she got a bit surprised and upset too. She couldn’t understand why no one was looking at her and why her beauty was not found to be attractive here. She was safely escorted back to her parents but before that she got an opportunity to talk to Sardar Baghel Singh. He explained to her the high moral standards set by Guru Sahib. She got very impressed hearing all this. Such was the character of Singhs, in olden days. This incident has been very beautifully captured by the superb writing of Sardar Sadhu Singh Hamdard the former editor of Punjabi Ajit in India. I read this when I was a child.

Master Tara Singh and the English woman

An English woman wrote a very interesting incident concerning Master Tara Singh. Master Tara Singh was very young at that time and was travelling on a train. Across from him a beautiful young English woman was sitting. She had been accustomed to attention from men but she was surprised and very impressed to see that not once did Master jee try to take a glance at her. So impressed was she that she actually wrote about this incident. Such was the high character of our leaders in the past.

Bau Mal Singh jee in Belgium

Bau Mal Singh jee, one of the closest companion of Bhai Sahib Randhir Singh jee was serving in 1st World War in Belgium. During the evening time, he was sitting on a bench when some women sat near him. The started conversing with him and at some point asked him if he liked them. They had other intentions for Bau jee but they did not know that Bau jee was not an ordinary person. He was a player of high spiritual states. Bau jee responded by saying that surely he liked them. They were very pleased to hear this. The next moment Bau jee said that he liked them like his sister and daughter. They were shocked to hear and fled uttering unintelligible utterings.

Sant Arjun Singh jee

Sant Arjun Singh jee was a companion of Bhai Sahib Randhir Singh jee. Sant jee was a very great soul. When Bhai Sahib was arrested, he too was arrested by police and they asked him if he knew Bhai Sahib. His response was very interesting. He said, “what to talk about me, the three worlds know Bhai Sahib”. The police released him after keeping him in detention for couple of days. He knew not what fear was. He worried not about anything. He stayed in the divine state of Naam all the time.

One day, he was submerged in the divine colours of Naam that he wandered unintentionally to that part of the city where flesh trade takes place. He was young and handsome and as is the custom of flesh trade bazaar, the working women there started calling and seducing him. At that point Sant jee got aware of his surroundings. He was not a normal person like Ajamal who was hit by Kaam when a young prostitute had just looked at him provocatively and this way lost his whole life to Kaam. Sant jee were very accomplished Gursikh and right away he was hit by immense bairaag. In full bairaag, he in a loud piercing voice started doing kirtan. Imagine what chaos would have occurred in this bazaar at the sight of a Gurmukh-Sant doing kirtan. The hearts that were burning with the fire of Kaam were extinguished in an instant. The women who just a moment ago were trying to seduce Sant jee, fell at his feet. Their hearts were purified by the effect of Gurbani kirtan. They beseeched and they implored to him to save them from Kalyug. Sant jee stayed oblivious and when they continued their imploring, Sant jee freed himself from them and hurriedly left the place. Before leaving he declared that only they will be saved who accept the amrit of Siri Dasmesh jee. Such was the character of Gursikhs of those times.

The Piteous State of Today’s Sikh Youth

If we notice a Gursikh, who has taken Amrit of Guru Sahib and becomes so attracted to the member of opposite sex that he (or she) can only think of her and can’t live without her, then surely such person was never in love with Guru Sahib. Every now and then we hear of a Gursikh brother or sister, shamelessly declaring that he or she will die unless he or she marries such and such person. How did a Gursikh end up at such stage? Wasn’t he an Amritdhari to begin with? How did he violate such a strict order of Guru Sahib of considering other-women as mothers, sisters and daughters?

Our youth now-a-days has reached such state that it has no hesitation or shame before openly communicating with the members of opposite sex. Today they start chatting with someone, tomorrow they start sharing their problems with each other, the day after tomorrow they develop feelings for each other and soon they are going out. Even at Kirtan Samagams where countless Gurmukhs are engaged in praising the true Lord, some of the misled youth are overcome with Aashiqaana feelings (Amorous feelings). The high, impregnable character of Khalsa youth has taken such a beating. Today if you look around, you can count on your fingertips such individuals who have not been stained by entering into relationships before marriage.

The Internet has really shrunk the world. Today, if something occurs in the Sikh community in one country, it quickly spreads across the globe. If a young male or female commits an act of transgression, then the reputation of such individual is stained for life. Once one’s character gets stained, it’s hard to build it back.

Gursikhs must rise above the Maya of this world and maintain strong Khalsa character. The time of marriage and the partner for life has already been chosen by Vaheguru. So relax and stop hunting for your life partner on your own. A Sikh youth who keeps strong character, keeps Sikhi Rehit is always in demand as far as marriage is concerned. A youth who starts hunting for a life partner on his own, soon gets his character stained and before he or she realizes, it’s too late.

No one is saying that we should become a segregated society like the Muslims and keep Purdah and don’t talk with each other at all. What’s required is to know our limits. Far too many Kaam-related mistakes are being committed by our youth because of their proximity to members of opposite sex.

Far too many youth are hanging and chilling together before getting married, this is not in line with Gursikhs

May Guru Sahib do Kirpa and enable his Sikhs to keep a strong moral character on which Guru Sahib can be proud of.

Bhul Chuk dee Maafi jee

Kulbir Singh

I loved it really...thanks for sharing....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share


  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt
  • advertisement_alt


  • Topics

  • Posts

    • yeh it's true, we shouldn't be lazy and need to learn jhatka shikaar. It doesn't help some of grew up in surrounding areas like Slough and Southall where everyone thought it was super bad for amrit dharis to eat meat, and they were following Sant babas and jathas, and instead the Singhs should have been normalising jhatka just like the recent world war soldiers did. We are trying to rectifiy this and khalsa should learn jhatka.  But I am just writing about bhog for those that are still learning rehit. As I explained, there are all these negative influences in the panth that talk against rehit, but this shouldn't deter us from taking khanda pahul, no matter what level of rehit we are!
    • How is it going to help? The link is of a Sikh hunter. Fine, but what good does that do the lazy Sikh who ate khulla maas in a restaurant? By the way, for the OP, yes, it's against rehit to eat khulla maas.
    • Yeah, Sikhs should do bhog of food they eat. But the point of bhog is to only do bhog of food which is fit to be presented to Maharaj. It's not maryada to do bhog of khulla maas and pretend it's OK to eat. It's not. Come on, bro, you should know better than to bring this Sakhi into it. Is this Sikh in the restaurant accompanied by Guru Gobind Singh ji? Is he fighting a dharam yudh? Or is he merely filling his belly with the nearest restaurant?  Please don't make a mockery of our puratan Singhs' sacrifices by comparing them to lazy Sikhs who eat khulla maas.
    • Seriously?? The Dhadi is trying to be cute. For those who didn't get it, he said: "Some say Maharaj killed bakras (goats). Some say he cut the heads of the Panj Piyaras. The truth is that they weren't goats. It was she-goats (ਬਕਰੀਆਂ). He jhatka'd she-goats. Not he-goats." Wow. This is possibly the stupidest thing I've ever heard in relation to Sikhi.
    • Instead of a 9 inch or larger kirpan, take a smaller kirpan and put it (without gatra) inside your smaller turban and tie the turban tightly. This keeps a kirpan on your person without interfering with the massage or alarming the masseuse. I'm not talking about a trinket but rather an actual small kirpan that fits in a sheath (you'll have to search to find one). As for ahem, "problems", you could get a male masseuse. I don't know where you are, but in most places there are professional masseuses who actually know what they are doing and can really relieve your muscle pains.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use