Another Muslim Weds Sikh In Gurdwara

[Shamshere]

The sad thing is that these double standards go against the teachings of Sikhi, Sikh boys and girls are supposed to be treated in the same way, but it doesn't play out like that in real life. Btw, this isn't just a "Sikh" thing, this hypocrisy exists in the Muslim and Hindu communities as well, it is not Sikhi that is responsible for it, it is South Asian/desi culture.

Oh and also, I disagree with the last bit, affairs are taken very seriously, if a boy does it, he will get the snot knocked out of him by his family and the girl's family, at least in my social circle.

The Sikh girl black guy thing happened in the UK, this Sikh guy-Muslim girl marriage happened in Canada, that is probably why, I've never heard of a Gurdwara invasion happening in Canada (I'm Canadian).

It's not just desi culture, it's even in european/white culture to some extent.

Look at hollywood films. It's not uncommon for the lead male hero being white and his female love interest being black or hispanic.

However it's rare for the hero to be black and the love interest being white.

Same with bollywood, the lead male will be hindu and the female love interest will be muslim or even Sikh. The reverse is very rare. See films like Bombay, Veer Zara, Jab We Met and countless others.

No community likes 'losing' their girls to another. However the same community doesn't mind so much when they 'take' a girl from another community. We live in a male dominated society.

[Guest Pyara Singh318 sisma]

At the beginning of last year (2012), the Sikh Riot Awareness Facebook group posted this video of a Muslim man marrying a Sikh woman in a Gurdwara: https://www.facebook.com/Global.Sikh.Awareness/posts/347505678617592

As you can tell by the comments, most people were not pleased and were angry that this was allowed to take place. (click "view previous comments and go up to the very top). There were even girls that said it was wrong and shouldn't have happened, which surprised me, usually I only hear of men speaking out against this kind of stuff, but a lot of Sikh females were displeased as well.

Someone showed me another Muslim-Sikh marriage video yesterday, this also took place in a Gurdwara. The difference? This time, the girl was Muslim and the guy was Sikh (mona). Here it is:

I am just interested in seeing if there is as much outrage over this happening as there was over the last one.

Ironically, the Muslim girl does a better matha thek than the Sikh girl lol.

For the first video, imagine if the girl ran away with the Muslim, what would people say then? They would bash him for not even having the decency to enter a Gurdwara and respect the girl's families wishes. Say what you want, at least he had enough respect to bow down in front of Guru Ji, he might not practice Sikhi, but it does show he is open-minded, and since they got married in a Gurdwara, I doubt he made her convert to Islam. What is the difference between marrying a Muslim and a guy who is only Sikh-by-name? In neither case would that Sikh girl raise her children to practice Sikhi, so does it really make a difference? If a non-practicing member of our community, who probably knows nothing about the religion, doesn't even know how to matha thek properly, wants to marry out, what's the big deal?

For the second video, again, is there any outrage? The Sikh guy is obviously not practicing, so does it make a difference if his wife is a Muslim? If he had married a Sikh girl, chances are she herself wouldn't be practicing either, so in neither case would he produce practicing Sikh children.

Thoughts?

It is sad. The one problem I recognize is that we Sikhs have erected many walls yo keep our children from marrying amongst our own. It can be dtstririct in India, jaat or sub-caste ( Jatt , Ramgharia, Bhapa), Mona and Keshadhari so on and so on.

If Sikhs could be just Sikhs all our girls would marry Sikhs. It is the backwardness and fundamentalism that wrecks everything.

Pyara

[Shamshere]

It is sad. The one problem I recognize is that we Sikhs have erected many walls yo keep our children from marrying amongst our own. It can be dtstririct in India, jaat or sub-caste ( Jatt , Ramgharia, Bhapa), Mona and Keshadhari so on and so on.

If Sikhs could be just Sikhs all our girls would marry Sikhs. It is the backwardness and fundamentalism that wrecks everything.

Pyara

You are right, most parents from so called 'higher' castes would rather their kids get married to gorey rather than 'low' caste Sikhs.

[DSGj]

This problem has always been not about non practising sikhs but about the leniency shown by Sikhs in general to these events. Now if a sikh decides to marry a muslim thats fine but the ceremony cannot be performed in a gurdwara they should have a civil one because they are not practising sikhs, the difficulty comes with moneh who are not practising but i believe they can have their marriage in a gurdwara because they truly accept Guru ji as their father, whereas a muslim is just bowing for the sake of ritual. We need more gurdwara to instigate marraige counselling previous to a marriage and to make sure that both parties understand what is expected of them. We need to stop posting on these forums and get involved in our local gurdwara to make sure that they fully understand that these gurdwara are going to be run by us with sikh logical not some pindu money grabbing mentality.

Another point:

Rehat states quite clearly that a sikh should marry another sikh but it does not state about children being bought up practising sikhi, children should be given all the tools to DECIDE what religion if any they wish to follow we are not trying to indoctrinate our children to follow sikhi instead we are raising them in a sikh household and providing them information so they may CHOOSE for themselves. If we continue to try and play this numbers game our religion will suffer because of it (just

look at how many problems the muslim community have)

There is no such thing as a 'non-practising Sikh'.

"the difficulty comes with moneh who are not practising but i believe they can have their marriage in a gurdwara because they truly accept Guru ji as their father, whereas a muslim is just bowing for the sake of ritual."

If they TRULY ACCEPT Guru Jee as their Father, then they wouldn't be 'non-practising'.

I find it really interesting how you call the Muslim bowing down a ritual, but the 'non-practising Sikh' bowing down is somehow justifyable and not a ritual.

[kullykhalsa]

There is no such thing as a 'non-practising Sikh'.

If they TRULY ACCEPT Guru Jee as their Father, then they wouldn't be 'non-practising'.

I find it really interesting how you call the Muslim bowing down a ritual, but the 'non-practising Sikh' bowing down is somehow justifyable and not a ritual.

Of course there is such a thing as a non practising sikh in other words a non baptised sikh, people who identify themselves as sikh but dont follow rehat that is a non practising/baptised sikh the same as in catholocism etc.

Im not saying that the moneh who bows is better or worse then the muslim who bows, im saying generally quite a lot of my moneh friends know about sikhi and are fiercely loyal to sikhi but choose not to practice/follow rehat doesnt mean they are not sikh and in the same way the muslim who bows will be doing it for ritualistic sake (unless someone has told him what it means to bow and why we do it)

[Princesslatina]

Latín Men go for blondes and I don't care they cab take all Latin men they want. I don't see myself with any Latin men its against my values and my taste.I go for Punjabis

[Guest mustdie]

Can you please stop referring to a khatri as a bbhaaappa .I am a khatri and flinch everytime i see the word bbhhhaaappa .Thought of letting you know people follow others.I understand people believe khatris are shrewd and everything negative.so the word bbhhhaappa is used in the dismissive tone.But i would like you to understand that other castes for example jats are no better.Everyone wants to be rich and successful and dont mind stepping on people's toes if need be.

My ex gf and ex finacee was a jat girl and she had an illicit affair behind my back with her ex southindian bf .So i don't perceive each jat as a disloyal person.

i dont generalize people and encourage people not to do so too.

.

It is sad. The one problem I recognize is that we Sikhs have erected many walls yo keep our children from marrying amongst our own. It can be dtstririct in India, jaat or sub-caste ( Jatt , Ramgharia, Bhapa), Mona and Keshadhari so on and so on.

If Sikhs could be just Sikhs all our girls would marry Sikhs. It is the backwardness and fundamentalism that wrecks everything.

Pyara

[ohifwinterends]

What a beautiful ceremony.

I don't think there's anything wrong with inter-religious marriages.

If I wasn't already married, I would have considered marrying a Sikh, but probably not a Hindu, I don't know.

[AmanSingh1867]

Reason why its more acceptable for a muslim girl to marry a sikh guy in a gurdwara or any non-sikh female to marry a sikh guy is because. Sikh guys even if they aint amritdhari or keshdhari tend to have fierce loyalty towards Sikhism whereas females take sikhism's freedoms and human rights as a given and do not value them or teach Sikhi or sikh history and those values to their kids.

Also when a Sikh female marrys a non-sikh guy majority of the cases she will convert to the non-sikh guys ideology / lifestyle. faith. So naturally these Sikh females themselves are against Sikh teachings or increasing Sikh community and numbers why should they be given equal respect and status if they are only offering negative demographics to the faith?

I agree with the first part. I've noticed that even mona/non-practicing Sikh guys still have a certain level of loyalty to the panth, they might know very little about the teachings, but they still respect the history and will probably raise the kids in a semi-religious environment (Gurdwara here and there, teach about history), and this could potentially lead to the kids becoming more religious and learning about Sikhi on their own. I know lots of cases of kids who's parents didn't practice Sikhi, but because they were brought to the Gurdwara every now and then (where the were surrounded by better sangat), and because they were still taught about the history, even if just a little bit, they ended up becoming more religious than the parents.

With the girls, non-practicing Sikh girls tend to be REALLY non-practicing, know very little about the history AND no pride at all. I can see how it would be a problem, I doubt girls like that would ever take the kids to Gurdwara or teach about history if the husband wasn't even Sikh to begin with.

[AmanSingh1867]

What a beautiful ceremony.

I don't think there's anything wrong with inter-religious marriages.

If I wasn't already married, I would have considered marrying a Sikh, but probably not a Hindu, I don't know.

Like the ceremony, and I believe everyone should have the right to marry whoever they want, but I could never see myself married to a non-Sikh. I accept Guru Granth Sahib Ji as my Guru and want a wife that does so as well. That doesn't mean I dislike other religions or the people who practice them, but I want to raise my kids in a Sikhi environment, so I want their mother to be Sikh, like me. I don't mind marrying a non-Punajbi though, but she has to be Sikh.

Someone who would consider marrying out of their religion probably doesn't value it that much anyways, so I don't know why people bother trying to stop them. This goes for girls AND guys.