Bbc One Must Watch -Sikh Girls Groomed By Muslims

[lsingh]

How a parent/sibling could identify 12 Tell Tale Signs of a child being groomed- TONIGHT Sunday 8th Sept on the Sikh channel SKY channel 840 at 8pm by Bhai Mohan Singh of the Sikh Awareness Society

[taran0]

With regards to the bold part, my father has never once in my lifetime told me that he loves me. He has not uttered those words to my brother or sister either.

I know by the way he acts that he does, and actions speak louder than words. He works his butt off to make sure we are in a position to succeed, he has told us before that he is proud of us, that he wants the best for us, but he shows very little emotion, that emotional connection just isn't there. It would be nice to hear those words at least once out of his mouth. And because of his withdrawn feelings, I have a very hard time talking to him about deep/personal issues. If I wanted career/educational advice, my dad was always the person to go to. But as far as relationships and especially dealings with the opposite sex are concerned, I cannot bring any of that up with him, it would be far too awkward, we have never been able to talk about those things. It is sad because 90% of our conversations are based around something to do with jobs/career, Uni/education, it is embarrassing to admit but it has gotten to the point where I try to avoid him as much as possible just because I am tired of talking about the same old things over and over again. I am glad he takes an interest in my professional life, but it is really suffocating at times, I wish he'd let me figure things out on my own instead of breathing down my neck all the time.

What angers me the most is that he has lived such an amazing life, coming from an ordinary family in a poor village in Punjab around the time of the partition, he made something of himself and did not settle for a meager existence, worked harder than everyone around him in school and got acceptance into a program in the UK, lived/worked/studied there for 20-something years and is now in Canada. I know almost nothing about his life story, I wish I did, I wish he would tell me what it was like to leave everything behind and go to a whole new part of the world and start from scratch, not once but twice, but he never brings it up.

You are right about the friends thing, our mother is like a friend and we can talk to her about most things, but it isn't like that with dad.

I don't know what it is with punjabi older men - they have this emotional block

maybe its us - maybe we are just a bit western expecting the extra affection - in india they just seem to have to get on with it

we have to understand that we are british sikh - and not indian sikh and we are diferent

lets try and look at it from their perspective.....!

my dad like a lot of older punjabi men has an alcohol problem - and this is the only time his emotions come out RAW - all the tears emotions, friendships, and enemies and betrayals from family members get mentioned during that period - its pretty sad - these guys have achieved such a lot under a formidable set of circumstances, but I think in the process it took a lot out of them....

imagine this you grew up in India around your family, you were carefree and a bit of a dude, not so rich - your father passed away early so it was your responsibility to look after everyone, younger siblings and mother

you get sent to a foreign country where you experience racism, verbal abuse, violence, working shitty jobs for a pittance, even though you were intelligent, and then you get married to a women you have never met (all the while thinking of Gejo, your childhood sweetheart from college back home) , its all tough but you just have to kill a part of yourself and do it, thinking of family back home who are relying solely on you!

you earn not so much and you have to send half your money back to make sure your family back home can eat, and also go back each time you have to get your younger sisters married off,

all the while your wife is getting pissed at you why you never have any money- uncles in uk get you settled and give you some work, yet they pay you crap and reap the benefits themselves

some other relations back in India try and take your fathers jameen because you are out of the country

you help all your family out and then afterwards they all just diss you anyway(typical indians) - so you become a bitter old man who takes it out on his family

and then to top it all off you work your off all your life and give your kids all the chances you never had - then your kids come up to you and say you never hugged us all our life you insensitive ......

we haven't been through half the they have - in a way you pretty much kill off any sensitivity and become a hardassed !

I really HAted my dad throughout younger years, until i learnt about what he had to go through , from some of his old friends - it really opened my eyes and i thought had i been through all that would i have come out any better ?

I think sometimes we just need to have faith that they love us - and may not show it like we expect but deep down it's there

biggest Lesson is life itself - when you become a dad yourself - you appreciate your parents much better- you understand them in a different way

I couldn't get on with my dad as a father - but i managed to make a great relationship with him as a friend - but only when i grew up and became a father myself

rereading all this i am sure that a lot of people can relate similar stories to their fathers

[Jonny101]

You're a deep thinker. Taran jee you have perfectly described every Punjabi family out there. Especially the part of apne helping out their relatives back home in India all their lives only to get dissed afterwards. But the worst relatives are the ones trying to grab your Jameen when you are in the west working 24/7. Almost every Punjabi family you talk to in the west has a bitter story of being betrayed by their relatives in India. One should never be too overly generous to their relatives back home no matter how good they seem at first.

[Shamshere]

You don't know about the number of fights my parents have had due to the fact that my father sent back money to his parents in Punjab.

It must have been difficult for my father coming here at 24, away from his family, being very educated but working a manual job.

[taran0]

back to grooming topic - once a victim does go to the police they need help and protection from their community

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http://www.lancashiretelegraph.co.uk/news/10661267.Brierfield_sex_grooming_gang_member_is_jailed/

Brierfield sex grooming gang member is jailed

10:00am Saturday 7th September 2013 in News

A BRIERFIELD man who tried to scupper a major sex abuse trial by cajoling the teenage victim into writing a retraction letter has been jailed for four years.

Qasim Hussain took the girl from Brierfield to Bradford to pen the bogus letter, shortly before she was due to give evidence of being abused at an East Lancashire property.

The ‘respectable’ family of the 20-year-old were left devastated to discover what Hussain had become embroiled in, Preston Crown Court was told.

Prosecutor Amanda Johnson said police also raided the family home in Townley Street, Brierfield, at the end of May 2012, discovering six wraps of cocaine in an outhouse and three sets of digital scales, one smeared with traces of the drug.

The court heard Hussain also tried to con the authorities while on bail in separate criminal proceedings.

He claimed he needed to return to Brierfield while a bail address in Bolton was being renovated. But enquiries made with his landlord exposed this as lies.

Hussain, formerly of Townley Street, but later of Bacup Road, Rawtenstall, was found guilty of perverting the course of justice in relation to the girl after a Burnley Crown Court trial.

He admitted being concerned in the supply of cocaine and possession of cocaine with intent to supply and the further charge of perverting the course of justice.

Mark Stuart, defending, said: “His family has never been to court before and the cannot believe that a boy of theirs who has been brought up properly has done the things he has done.”

Sentencing judge Jonathan Gibson was given reference letters from two councillors and a local youth worker.

Jailing him, the judge said: “You were convicted by the jury of an extremely serious perverting the course of justice offence.”

Six men were originally on trial for abusing the girl, then aged 12, in Brierfield but five men walked free after the girl changed her statement.

Mohammed Imran Amjad, 26, of Halifax Road, Brierfield, was jailed for four years and three months earlier this year after admitting to child abduction and sexual activity charges relating to the girl.

His brother, Furqan Amjad, 23, also of Halifax Road, was imprisoned for 15 months after admitting to perverting the course of justice. He was said to have bombarded the youngster with 350 text messages.

[VanHelsingh]

@ Taran Ji - I want to hear more about Gejo... :giggle:

[Hammertime007]

Ranjeet Singh Dhadriwale has a big congregation where ever he goes he should spend 10-20 min on this subject. would go a long way

[jashb]

You're a deep thinker. Taran jee you have perfectly described every Punjabi family out there. Especially the part of apne helping out their relatives back home in India all their lives only to get dissed afterwards.

OMG, is it that common??? Lolz, I thought this just happened in my family, with my dad... :stupidme:

But the worst relatives are the ones trying to grab your Jameen when you are in the west working 24/7. Almost every Punjabi family you talk to in the west has a bitter story of being betrayed by their relatives in India. One should never be too overly generous to their relatives back home no matter how good they seem at first.

I can second that...

[Jonny101]

OMG, is it that common??? Lolz, I thought this just happened in my family, with my dad... :stupidme:

I can second that...

It happens to every Punjabi family out there. I thought It was just my family, but no matter who you talk to they all have stories of how their relatives diss them when they no longer need your money or how they try to take over your property. I've come to the conclusion that it's better to help out some poor person(not related to you) in your pind than your own relatives who will have no appreciation for all the things you did for them over the years. Trust me I speak from bitter personal experience of how my own parents were not only dissed but also betrayed by their ungrateful Rishtedhars.

[VanHelsingh]

It happens to every Punjabi family out there. I thought It was just my family, but no matter who you talk to they all have stories of how their relatives diss them when they no longer need your money or how they try to take over your property. I've come to the conclusion that it's better to help out some poor person(not related to you) in your pind than your own relatives who will have no appreciation for all the things you did for them over the years. Trust me I speak from bitter personal experience of how my own parents were not only dissed but also betrayed by their ungrateful Rishtedhars.

Word.

My dad lost everything he'd worked for to greedy and calculating siblings back home, and it eventually destroyed him to the point where he had a huge heart attack and passed away. He was a Gursikh so his health problems weren't due to the classic Panjabi issues related to booze, etc.