Heartbroken

[Guest Saab Ji]

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

Daas is 23 years old and was with in a relationship with a girl from high school since I was 17. A year ago she broke up with me.

When I was with my girlfriend mistakes were made. I wasn't much into sikhi at the time and I ended up sleeping with my girlfriend. To be honest I love her very much and have been there for her emotionally or in any other way possible.

Last year she broke up with me saying she just doesn't love me anymore (even though we were together for 5 years) and now she has another boyfriend. Problem is I'm still madly in love with her and am very heartbroken. Because we've slept together I morally feel wrong being away from her and feel I'm doing her injustice by not marrying her - but there's nothing I can do because she has someone else now and I'm still stuck all alone and depressed.

To get over my heartbreak I took the support of bani, I try and do my nitnem daily, I listen to Salok mahala 9 daily and I read two astpadees of sukhmani sahib ji daily.

Even though I listen to bani daily I feel I still am heartbroken and depressed. It's gotten to the point where the doctor has put me on depression pills.

Can Sangat ji please consider me as a younger brother and guide me? Can Sangat ji please suggest any specific banis I can read to get out of this situation?

I feel very lost depressed and lonely ATM. It's been like this for well over a year now and no matter what I do nothing makes me feel better.

I'm sorry if I have offended anyone but really need some guidance in getting over this rough time and getting back into sikhi.

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh!

[VanHelsingh]

Be strong. She's moved on and she's with somebody else. There's nothing you can do. You just have to sort yourself out and move on too.

[skaur8888]

even though you feel its the end of the world it doesn't sound like she's the one for you - you need to be with someone who feels the same about you.Its good you're listening to bani, try spending time in the gurudwara to be close to Guruji and sangat. Doing Naam Simran and talking to Viaguruji about the way you're feeling, i try and do this and it helps to feel connected to Viaguruji and his love for you. You can listen to recordings if its difficult to concentrate. Ultimately its Viaguruji that loves us most,

On the practical side, try and have a routine to get you out and your mind occupied - maybe get back into any interests you have like sports and spending time with family and friends - life moves on and you will meet someone else.

Hope this helps with Viaguruji's blessings

[ekgurjaskhalsa]

even though you feel its the end of the world it doesn't sound like she's the one for you - you need to be with someone who feels the same about you.Its good you're listening to bani, try spending time in the gurudwara to be close to Guruji and sangat. Doing Naam Simran and talking to Viaguruji about the way you're feeling, i try and do this and it helps to feel connected to Viaguruji and his love for you. You can listen to recordings if its difficult to concentrate. Ultimately its Viaguruji that loves us most,

On the practical side, try and have a routine to get you out and your mind occupied - maybe get back into any interests you have like sports and spending time with family and friends - life moves on and you will meet someone else.

Hope this helps with Viaguruji's blessings

My thoughts exactly...

[Guest dasguruka]

1. Get off depression pills or any other pills you're taking.

2. Hit the rock bottom. Instead of trying to keep your mind off of her by doing excessive paath and Nitnem, don't do it at all. Hit the rock bottom. Then connect with life again. This is where you can start doing Paath and Bani. This is actually a good reason. Not to keep your mind off of your gf.

3. Understand Japji Sahib. Especially the first 5 Pauris. Over and over.

4. Its not going to happen overnight so be patient.

[sat]

Look at it this way you have been lucky, Vaheguru ji has been good to you, you could have married her and then she could have left you for this other person maybe even children involved, i know its hard and easy for us to say but try to look at it from another angle.

[DustOfTheSaintsFeet]

It's weird, i was talking about this to a girl 2 days ago- this girl had turned to spirituality while trying to deal with relationship problems. It took me over 2 years to get over someone I was in love with so I get your pain. I started off doing Amrit vela paath- I wasn't amritdhari or anything- was just in so much dukhi like I had never felt before and turned to Guru Nanak for solace. I also started naam simran and eventually it just became seva of naam- naam simran and doing good for others.

After 2 days I started having spiritual experiences and darshans and then I felt that I could never turn back as life was no longer what I thought it was. I knew it wasn't before but these experiences had such an effect on me that I could no longer deny for even a second that the world isn't how the vast majority of the worlds inhabitants see it. My extreme dukh had led to extreme sukh and love of a kind that I had never even felt possible.

The thing is that when our karam is very favorable, our dukhi leads to a strike back on maya- instead of sinking under all the pain- we detach from it, we practice truth to an extent that we go back to the balance between dark and light. Then if hukam calls for it- we Go even deeper into the nothingness to discover and experience the gyan of truth and we proceed to apply what we learn in our daily lives-we begin to live truthfully. The more Pain- the more we detach, hence dukh=sukh.

[tuhintuhin]

Do ardas to waheguru ji "data ji please free my mind from her attachment and memories, mere bas to baahar aa, I am unable to move forward, please help me".

Start doing jorheaan di sewa and reading guru sahib and mahapurkh's jeewan

Go through the books section on this site.

Like mentioned above, there are so many options.

Gud Luck

[Wingz23]

Be strong. She's moved on and she's with somebody else. There's nothing you can do. You just have to sort yourself out and move on too.

Youre Name and Display Picture Really Confuses Me :O LOL!

[VanHelsingh]

Youre Name and Display Picture Really Confuses Me :O LOL!

Whatchu say, boy? :giggle: