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Singh97

Help With Punjabi Parent Situation

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WJKK WJKF

I'm a grade 11 student and I've always done good in school, my marks are usually in the 90's. But the problem is that this year I've been completely stressed out with things outside of school and my marks have dropped a lot. Some marks are even in the high 70's. Report cards are coming soon and I don't know what I'm supposed to do now. I have no one to help me in this situation and my parents are really strict and I know I'm in huge trouble right now. It is my fault, I put myself through too than I could handle. Also, school's only been going on for two months and we've only had about 1-2 tests in each subject, I still have 8 months to pull everything up but my parents aren't going to take that excuse. Is there anything I can do to avoid the excessive amounts of shittar that I'm going to get soon? Any advise would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

WJKK WJKF

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Sat Sri Akal brother I had the same problem as you brother i used to get good marks up untill the end of grade 10 and from there i went downhill my parents had the same sort of mentality as yours and this caused many fights and i eventually dropped out of school and had to upgrade later on in life the way you have to deal with your parents is when you show them your report tell them about the things stressing you out and say to the tht it them yelling or getting mad at you is not going to help at all ask them for help by hiring a tutor for you and if you are in higher level classes tell them tht this can affect your grades. I think if you sit down with them and calmly tell talk to them they will understand

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Grades should be the least of your worries.Everything other then the naam is false.Guru ji says ਸੁਣਿ ਪਾਡੇ ਕਿਆ ਲਿਖਹੁ ਜੰਜਾਲਾ ॥ सुणि पाडे किआ लिखहु जंजाला ॥ Suṇ pāde ki▫ā likẖahu janjālā. Listen, O Pandit, O religious scholar, why are you writing about worldly debates?

ਲਿਖੁ ਰਾਮ ਨਾਮ ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਗੋਪਾਲਾ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥ लिखु राम नाम गुरमुखि गोपाला ॥१॥ रहाउ ॥ Likẖ rām nām gurmukẖ gopālā. ||1|| rahā▫o. As Gurmukh, write only the Name of the Lord, the Lord of the World. ||1||Pause||

I'm not saying forget about school all together!!All I'm saying is keep your grades so you can pass high school so later on you can do bhagti.Dont worry about your grades(truthfully your grades are still good) because this is only this life while waheguru is forever and without waheguru we cannot survive.Study but always keep waheguru on your mind.

In my honest opinion...School is crap lol.

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Sat Sri Akal brother I had the same problem as you brother i used to get good marks up untill the end of grade 10 and from there i went downhill my parents had the same sort of mentality as yours and this caused many fights and i eventually dropped out of school and had to upgrade later on in life the way you have to deal with your parents is when you show them your report tell them about the things stressing you out and say to the tht it them yelling or getting mad at you is not going to help at all ask them for help by hiring a tutor for you and if you are in higher level classes tell them tht this can affect your grades. I think if you sit down with them and calmly tell talk to them they will understand

I'll tell them about how busy I was, but I'm also going to tell them that I won't be as busy now so everything'll be easier. Thanks.

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Grades should be the least of your worries.Everything other then the naam is false.Guru ji says ਸੁਣਿ ਪਾਡੇ ਕਿਆ ਲਿਖਹੁ ਜੰਜਾਲਾ ॥ सुणि पाडे किआ लिखहु जंजाला ॥ Suṇ pāde ki▫ā likẖahu janjālā. Listen, O Pandit, O religious scholar, why are you writing about worldly debates?

ਲਿਖੁ ਰਾਮ ਨਾਮ ਗੁਰਮੁਖਿ ਗੋਪਾਲਾ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥ लिखु राम नाम गुरमुखि गोपाला ॥१॥ रहाउ ॥ Likẖ rām nām gurmukẖ gopālā. ||1|| rahā▫o. As Gurmukh, write only the Name of the Lord, the Lord of the World. ||1||Pause||

I'm not saying forget about school all together!!All I'm saying is keep your grades so you can pass high school so later on you can do bhagti.Dont worry about your grades(truthfully your grades are still good) because this is only this life while waheguru is forever and without waheguru we cannot survive.Study but always keep waheguru on your mind.

In my honest opinion...School is crap lol.

I don't really care about this report card much tbh. I had a bad two months and I slipped. The marks are good enough and I know in a month or two I'll be back in the 90's like before. The problem is I don't like my parents yelling at me, I need shanti lol. Once they see it they're going to be yelling at me for at least a week. The main thing is that because all of my marks were 90's before, they're going to be mad seeing 76's and 78's. I think I still have two marks a bit above 90, but 4 are in the 70-80 range.

Sikhi comes first for me and I have to do path and kirtan daily and I don't want to constantly be thinking about my parents yelling because I need a stress free mind while doing kirtan and path.

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Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Firstly, well done for raising the post.

It seems clear (like all typical parents) your parents want you to be extremely successful and they think this will be through education resulting in wealth and/ or recognition by society.

In general, parents are always hard to please, rarely recognise your achievements and find it difficult to say 'well done'.

I would suggest;

1. Try and be honest, the truth always prevails. Tell your parents; you feel they are strict and this is putting pressure on you.

2. Don't lie or make too many excuses, what's diverted you? Try and refocus and change direction if you can. If you're experiencing bad thoughts or actions, try regular Simran and Path.

2. Stay true to Sikhi, its more important than wealth or public or family recognition.

3. Learn from your parents actions for your own family (when you have one).

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Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Firstly, well done for raising the post.

It seems clear (like all typical parents) your parents want you to be extremely successful and they think this will be through education resulting in wealth and/ or recognition by society.

In general, parents are always hard to please, rarely recognise your achievements and find it difficult to say 'well done'.

I would suggest;

1. Try and be honest, the truth always prevails. Tell your parents; you feel they are strict and this is putting pressure on you.

2. Don't lie or make too many excuses, what's diverted you? Try and refocus and change direction if you can. If you're experiencing bad thoughts or actions, try regular Simran and Path.

2. Stay true to Sikhi, its more important than wealth or public or family recognition.

3. Learn from your parents actions for your own family (when you have one).

The good thing is that the report card comes home at the end of the month but the bad thing is that the marks have been submitted. Any suggestions to calm them down while they're yelling?

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Any suggestions to calm them down while they're yelling?

Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Before your parents read the report, you could try starting a topic talking about 'krodh' (anger), why it's one of the 5 thieves and the effects it has on people and relationships... and then after they've read the report, tell them you've understood where you went wrong, agree to do better and keep as quiet as possible...

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Waheguru Ji Ka Khalsa, Waheguru Ji Ki Fateh

Before your parents read the report, you could try starting a topic talking about 'krodh' (anger), why it's one of the 5 thieves and the effects it has on people and relationships... and then after they've read the report, tell them you've understood where you went wrong, agree to do better and keep as quiet as possible...

Thing is whenever I try to talk about sikhi with them, they usually don't take my views, but I will try it.

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