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Guest Help ji

I Really Need Your Advice...

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Guest Help ji

WJKK WJKF

Okay let me explain quite a long time ago i was sexually touched up by someone i knew. it really did mess with my head in so many different ways. i cant seem to stop getting bad thoughts in my head and i think you can kind of gather which thoughts they are, i have a very big problem with constatly daydreaming, i know this sounds crazy but i daydrream all the time and it is really bad! i do have anxiety and depression but its not a thing where it has been diasgnosed. im finding it very difficult to feel normal and im so afraid hat one day i will just explode or somthing bad will happen. my head does not feel right at all.

has anyone else been through something like this? becuase im feeling really lonley right now i dont even have alot going on in my life right now... Please help

Serious answers please. Thanks in advance

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Guest MrHSinghK

Contact Sikh Helpline they're very good and its very sad to hear what happend and the effects you're suffering

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WaheguruJiKaKhalsa!!WaheguruJiKiFateh!!

i dont know if you're penji or paaji.

so i will assume you are a guy

follow these steps to awaken your conciousness

1) stop watching TV - movies that make you day dream or even a slights shift in your concentration .

2) listen more to kirtan - katha . keep yourself occupied

3) do any path japji sahib jaap sahib or which ever you feel like and do an ardas from heart to Guru Granth Sahib ji maharaj , while doing ardas imagine all 10 guru's infront of you . feel them with your heart for our eyes are blind and we cannot see them but they are real and present always

4) always imagine Guru sahib with you

5) when ever you are free try to do Simran of Gurmantar inside or moolmantar

6) as Guru Gobind Singh ji states - recognise all women as mother daughter and sister. except your wife

7) if you feel women apear make you have bad thoughts , simply turn your vision down to their feet and do not look at them .

8) controll your mind . when ever you think of bad , think Guru is watching and is on your side look at you committ it .

9) avoid touching any females even handshakes.

take control of yourself ,

remember your must DETOXIFY your inner with Gurbani listen to it more and refrain from doing anything.

anytime you have bad thoughts think of Guru beside you and ask for forgiveness right there .

just remember no matter how much sweet it mayseem

ITS NOT WORTH IT.

hope it helps

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Guest Help Ji

Thankyou for your support

im not sure i can go to a professional becuase im sure if you tell them something like this its a breach of confidentiality and then they have to tell someone. i have tried telling my family but they are so difficult to talk to i trid telling them once before that i had anxiety and depression and they just didnt listen. i dont really have their support on this. becuase i have anxiety and depression it stops me form doing a lot.

@ to savinderpal Ji im a young woman. i do listen to kirtan and i do attend gurdwara all the time. but even then my thoughts seem to wonder. i reallly cannot concentrate aymore. i get such negative thoughts. sometimes i wont want to listen to kirtan and i dont know why. its like my thoughts just stop me from doing so. i dont feela connection to anything nomore. its really difficult to deal with whats happening

im sorry if it doesnt make that much sense

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Penji/ paaji,

I would really recommend counselling, or failing that buy a self help book that helps people deal with things like this. I say that because it's important that you come to terms with what happened, talk about it, and then move on.

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Guest username1

Is this a case of you being unsure of lust and pursuing a relationship which had one thing lead to another involving touching or is this where someone you knew violated your trust and without your consent groped you? The two can be addressed differently. If it's the first then it's a matter of true introspection asking your heart what to do and if it's the second it's advisable to speak to professionals who can speak to you about dealing with sexual assault of that form.

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Is this a case of you being unsure of lust and pursuing a relationship which had one thing lead to another involving touching or is this where someone you knew violated your trust and without your consent groped you? The two can be addressed differently. If it's the first then it's a matter of true introspection asking your heart what to do and if it's the second it's advisable to speak to professionals who can speak to you about dealing with sexual assault of that form.

I agree, these are two different issues as mentioned above.

Somehow, i gather that as well as emotional scarring, the trust and faith you had in someone has caused some mental trauma.

Anyhow, whats done is done and what happened, has happened. It's VERY important to dealing with the results/outcome/ and situation you are facing at the moment. This should be your priority because this is something that you CAN change, compared to the past.

It seems like this mental trauma is what is giving you problems with concentration and attention.

The anxiety and depression are there, but they are more underlying under some layers which makes it difficult to diagnose and for others to pick up or see

It sounds like you seem to be mentally lost all the while.

With this i mean.........I bet you can't sit down and watch a full 2-2.5hr movie, ......can't multi-task like making a simple cup of coffee and having a conversation at the same time.......You probably avoid getting into arguments or trying to explain yourself, and you probably set yourself time or free space to do some good like praying, paath, seva..etc.... but you can't motivate your mind to get moving....!

Therefore, others probably assume or think that you are just lazy and bored but not stressed/depressed.

If what i have mentioned fits the picture a little, then you should start making a diary log of what you tried to do.... and what happened instead, or the examples of concentration and difficulty you experience. Once you have these logged on paper, it will be much easier for a professional counselor to refer further and/or diagnose.

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Guest Help Ji

Fateh i appreciate you guys replying

Someone violated my trust, so it makes it 10 times worse. Do you know what kind of self help books would be avaible for something like this?

@ to luckysingh, i really appreciate that reply, you are right its very difficult for me to concentrate on any one thing. my mind is always else where, i will deifnitely try to log down how i feel, becuase i dont know if i can speak to a preofessional about this. i do try to concentrate but my mind always strays. its very fustrating.

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penji ,

Sorry to hear that

only place trust in Guru sahib none other

try reading life history of Gurmukh Bhramgiani's

example

Bhai randhir singh ji

sant attar singh ji

Bandginama-bhai raghbir singh bir

get motivated , never look back at your old thoughts throw your head in Guru's Charan .

im sure there would be other books non sikhi related on this but theres nothing Gurbani or Guru sahib cannot solve

engulf yourself in naam simran .

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Fateh i appreciate you guys replying

Someone violated my trust, so it makes it 10 times worse. Do you know what kind of self help books would be avaible for something like this?

@ to luckysingh, i really appreciate that reply, you are right its very difficult for me to concentrate on any one thing. my mind is always else where, i will deifnitely try to log down how i feel, becuase i dont know if i can speak to a preofessional about this. i do try to concentrate but my mind always strays. its very fustrating.

I know you feel unsure about speaking to a professional counselor, but you shouldn't worry. Remember, that whatever you tell them will ALL be in the strictest confidence and besides, you don't have to tell them everything at first.

You can just approach and tell them whatever you feel comfortable talking about.

I'm not sure whereabout you are in the world, so I'm not sure about the credentials you should look for at first, but it's import that you are in the personal comfort zone, no matter who you see. Also remember, that if you don't feel comfortable whilst there, then you are not obliged to continue !

I know people will say do simran and do path, but this won't be easy if you have that initial problem of trying to get motivated.

I don't know what experience you have with this previously, but i may be able to suggest accordingly with regards to what other self-help materials you can try and approach.

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How old are you? There are all sorts of self help books, from books specifically for those who were abused as children (example: http://books.google.co.uk/books/about/Surviving_Childhood_Sexual_Abuse.html?id=M8-RzPQGQesC&redir_esc=y) to books helping you deal with depression, anxiety, build confidence, and so on, through cognitive behavioural therapy. It's really about what you're looking for, but I'm sure it'll be really helpful, I've just got some books from my university too. Make sure when you try to find a book, you go for something that's the best in its category.

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