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A Secret I Have To Keep


Guest drkirpan

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Guest drkirpan

I'm a male, 17yrs old. I don't know what to do - I live with a secret and it makes me feel terrible. I know I can't tell anyone but at the same time I'm worried and I really stopped enjoying my life recently :(

So the story is: My really good friend (not sikh) is constalntly cheating on his girlfriend - a beautiful, honest, wise, godfearing sikh women. I promised him not to tell anyone but my heart just breaks every time I look at them together - she seems so in love yet he is such a bad person...

I told him that he has to stop but he says he won't... And now I don't know what to do.

I consider him as a friend but she doesn't deserve that

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First world problems.

In India Singhs are locked up for years in jail without reason, Bhai Gurbaksh Singh has not eaten for a month, and you feel sad because some teenage girl is having a premarital relationship (against Gurmat to start with) and the guy isn't faithful?

Please go.

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I'm a male, 17yrs old. I don't know what to do - I live with a secret and it makes me feel terrible. I know I can't tell anyone but at the same time I'm worried and I really stopped enjoying my life recently :(

So the story is: My really good friend (not sikh) is constalntly cheating on his girlfriend - a beautiful, honest, wise, godfearing sikh women. I promised him not to tell anyone but my heart just breaks every time I look at them together - she seems so in love yet he is such a bad person...

I told him that he has to stop but he says he won't... And now I don't know what to do.

I consider him as a friend but she doesn't deserve that

Do the right thing and tell her.
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i was in a similar situation once and i told the girl asap that she was being cheated.....i got a lot of stress and hassle but in hindsight the girls was saved and i did the right thing. The longer it goes on worser it will be for her

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Guest Bhavneet Singh

Firsty I don't believe dating is against sikhi. More over, just tell the girl. I had a good friend who tried using another girl for sex but I felt that it was my duty as a Singh to warn the girl of his intentions. I lost the friend but I saved an innocent girl from being used. Likewise this isn't right so just tell the girl in my opinion

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He isnt your friend if he is doing that is he? Are you a Sikh? If you are, why haven't you stopped this already? It could be your sister.

Guess you never thought about that.

Do the right thing and not go along with what others are doing. If its hurting your soul stop it and that's good sign you are realising Wats right and Wats wrong. Shows u have humanity inside you.

Tell her he is cheating on her, and how bad he is, nobody else is going to do it for you.

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I'm a male, 17yrs old. I don't know what to do - I live with a secret and it makes me feel terrible. I know I can't tell anyone but at the same time I'm worried and I really stopped enjoying my life recently :(

So the story is: My really good friend (not sikh) is constalntly cheating on his girlfriend - a beautiful, honest, wise, godfearing sikh women. I promised him not to tell anyone but my heart just breaks every time I look at them together - she seems so in love yet he is such a bad person...

I told him that he has to stop but he says he won't... And now I don't know what to do.

I consider him as a friend but she doesn't deserve that

Why are you worried about them, just concentrate on your life & future.

If they are having a relationship outside marriage then they both will pay for it as per Dharma.

Change your friend circle, hangout with decent people.

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Very simple answer...as a Sikh where is your sense of "dharam" or righteousness...the truth is always highest. Friendship with wrongdoers will stain your soul. Tell the girl, that way when dharam raj asks you on the day of judgement what did you do ? At least you can say I did what was right,.

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Your friends are obviously far too immature to be in relationships. You may have to consider that she may have a pretty good idea and choosing to let it go, so may not be as 'wise' or 'innocent' as you think. Putting all that aside for a moment, tell him something along the lines of the following:

I consider you a friend and you have a responsibility to not hurt and abuse the trust of another person. You are also hurting yourself, but not aware of that at this time. The only proper thing for you to do is tell her yourself and move forward with consequences. I tell you this as a friend. I know this is not easy for you so you have a deadline of one week to tell her. If you want me to tell her for you, I will.

Regardless, everyone has a positive duty to protect innocent people from harm, so if you don't tell her in one week, I will tell her on my own initiative. I will support you but if you choose to break our friendship over this, that is your choice, not mine.

---

At 17 years old, either you must ensure you are well rooted in excellent value system to surround yourself with friends like this and influence them, or find better company. It usually does not mean you have to entirely abandon others. Frankly your friends behavior sounds like that of an immature *** who has much to learn.

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Your friends are obviously far too immature to be in relationships. You may have to consider that she may have a pretty good idea and choosing to let it go, so may not be as 'wise' or 'innocent' as you think. Putting all that aside for a moment, tell him something along the lines of the following:

I consider you a friend and you have a responsibility to not hurt and abuse the trust of another person. You are also hurting yourself, but not aware of that at this time. The only proper thing for you to do is tell her yourself and move forward with consequences. I tell you this as a friend. I know this is not easy for you so you have a deadline of one week to tell her. If you want me to tell her for you, I will.

Regardless, everyone has a positive duty to protect innocent people from harm, so if you don't tell her in one week, I will tell her on my own initiative. I will support you but if you choose to break our friendship over this, that is your choice, not mine.

---

At 17 years old, either you must ensure you are well rooted in excellent value system to surround yourself with friends like this and influence them, or find better company. It usually does not mean you have to entirely abandon others. Frankly your friends behavior sounds like that of an immature *** who has much to learn.

True words, as a Sikh it's your duty to protect the innocent, whatever form that may be in, and this is one example of that! It would be the morally correct thing to tell her, before things get even more out of hand or she finds out of her own accord further down the line.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I would tell him that youre going to tell the girl and then i'd tell the girl.

Its up to us Sikhs to stand up for each other and to protect one another.

Do the right thing...he may moan about it - let him! She may not believe you (girls have a habit of this) but thats her choice. You just need to do the right thing.

As for the person who made the first world problems comment - I understand what youre saying BUT these are still problems. They may not seem to be important but theyre still problems that the youth have to face.

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