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Why Are Rules For Covering Heads In Gurdwareh Now Relaxed?


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Wjkk, wjkf

Sadh sangat ji, I wanted to raise this topic to see if it's just not me noticing that in many many gurdwareh across the uk, children in paticilar are able to run round freely without covering their heads in the presence of Shiri Guru Granth Marajh Ji. Surely parents should make sure their children have their heads covered as a child is simply innocent if they dont know, also we as parents make sure our children wear school uniforms, should we not insist that the rule should be implemented in the gurdwara too? As how then is a child meant to respect the Guru Granth Sahib Ji in later life, when the most basic head covering rule is relaxed? I have three young children myself, they all understand that in a gurdwara and in the presence of our guru, we cover our heads. My eldest is Four, Middle monsters Two and the youngest Seven months. As their parents, we make sure they abide by the rehat maryada. However, we are not amrit dhari as yet. In my opinion, it is unseen beadbi, but urgently needs to be debated and resolved. Thankyou for reading my post! Wjkk, wjkf

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I've seen that too at my local gurdwara. I don't know why this trend is happening, but there are also other worrying trends such as general chit-chat in front of guruji and while kirtan is going on, playing with mobiles phones, texting and phones going off even during the ardas - its got to the stage of weekly reminders to please switch off phones. can be very depressing sometimes witnessing this, and maybe its just the gurdwara I go to but wonder if people would do these things in front of Guru Nanak ji or any of our gurus yet they behave this way in front of Guru Granth Sahib ji

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Thanks for your response skaur8888. All the things you mentioned also happen in my local gurdwara too, the chattering done by the committee members mostly. Sister, what do you think is the solution because in my gurdwara, I feel I have no right to say to the parents, "please cover your childs head in the gurdwara" as im not amrit dhari....but the amrit dhari's present dont say nothing neither the giani or committe? I think maybe a informative leaflet campaign and signs should be sent to every gurdwara in the uk?

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You must have very obedient children! I too have a two year old and although we start off by having his head covered, he promptly takes his ramaal off at every opportunity-it's a bit of a battle most of the time with a few tantrums followed shortly after. I guess my point is that I do not think people intentionally choose not to cover children's heads (particularly toddlers). Inevitably, sometimes toddlers 'play up' and rather than cause a scene or annoy the other sangat with a tantrum, it's easier to leave the child be. Of course, as time goes on, children learn by regularly attending and copying everyone else at the gurdwara. It also becomes a non-issue when the children are older and understand the significance of head covering. So, I think a distinction needs to be made between toddlers and older children. I haven't seen many older children with uncovered heads at our local Gurudwara either to be honest.

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Gurdwara committee should be taking care of this by announcing to sangat regularly and sevadars should be around politely advising bibiyan to shut up and telling kids parents that it is not a playground and that all heads should be covered.

I think it can ruin the atmosphere and vibes of peace that one should be encountering in any gurdwara.

I also know that some of the committees interests are primarily with regards to golak and they turn a blind eye to these things.

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I think having signs, announcements and sevadars politely correcting people will help and also education of why we need to show respect, that guru granth sahib ji is the same as all the gurus - I honestly feel some people don't realise the significance - its just a book to them. sorry to say that but its the only reason I can think that explains why they carry on this way.

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Children I think it's okay to some extent ie they truly don't know any better. It's the adults you have to worry about. People who barely cover their heads then take it off in the Langar hall when they come for weddings Because they don't want to mess up their hair cut. And the constant talking that happens in the darbar - committees should definitely stand up against that

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(New)- I totally understand where your coming from. When your kids start throwing a tantrum, people turn to look at you and give you dirty looks lol. But to be honest, I'm going to try and plead to you that the rule should not be relaxed on the basis of a distinction of a child. Reason being because if a child does not cover their head, it's still beadbi. Beadbi is a serious matter because never mind the sangat, it's against our Guru. I feel that in this instance, a child rather than to be permitted to not cover their head, should be taken out of the darbar and disciplined informatively that they can only enter the gurdwara with their head covered, this should be done firmly every time the child takes it off. Also, its not just the mothers problem to deal with when in the darbar. The father should help and other family members if present. This is one of the basic rules for a gurdwara and I feel up and down the country this beadbi occurs because we as a community have become too relaxed with the rehat. When the gurdware invite school kids to the for R.E, they are told that everyone, young and old should cover their head. We don't then say "lil toddlers are ok and are exempt from this rule". If for example, Shiri Guru Gobind Singh was physically sitting in the palki when we went on sundays divan, would the same exemption apply? This is the same equivalent which many in our community have lost, that Shiri Guru Granth Sahib Ji is the physical form of our 10 gurus, the most basic of respect should be given from all, especially us, calling ourselves sikhs of the guru.

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unfortunately there are also parents who opt out of disciplining their children- perhaps seeing the chance to relax and sit back while their child runs riot and spoils the atmosphere for others . in the old days, most parents would be too ashamed to let that happen in public - maybe its the western disease of bestfrienditis - wanting to be the childs best friend instead of a parent, it just amounts to lack of respect for our guruji. and this week I'm seriously considering not going to the gurdwara as its more peaceful at home and I can just put on one of the Sikh channels

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unfortunately there are also parents who opt out of disciplining their children- perhaps seeing the chance to relax and sit back while their child runs riot and spoils the atmosphere for others . in the old days, most parents would be too ashamed to let that happen in public - maybe its the western disease of bestfrienditis - wanting to be the childs best friend instead of a parent, it just amounts to lack of respect for our guruji. and this week I'm seriously considering not going to the gurdwara as its more peaceful at home and I can just put on one of the Sikh channels

Wjkk wjkf,

Yes, again i agree with you sister on the disciplining of a child has become something to question, but at the same time sometimes a child can be a right little monster at the best of times. But still I feel it' s no excuse.

Sister, you should go to the gurdwara this weekend, dont stay at home because if then no change will take place. Like Shiri Guru Nanak Dev Ji said to the sants in the Himalayas, " you dont like the way in which the world runs down there so you stay up here out of everyone's way, so then how can you be really spreading gods message".

So dont sit at home, go to have darshan of our guru and united we can tackle this issue. Do you thing the leaflet is an idea what would work sister?

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No offence but I don't think it's a big deal if a little kid does not have their head covered. A kid whose parents tied a dastaar or put a ramaal on them would not be head-covering out of respect since they don't know what the heck is going on. Nor would they be bare headed for the sake of causing havoc. Maybe I'm wrong, I don't see the biggy at all.

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I think one reason for relaxes the rules was in previous generations children who were told off for not wearing rumaals would end up getting shouted at by someone which would deter them from returning to the gurdwara. Also I think some leg room for understanding why people, children cut their hair exists and a far more relaxed tolerant attitude is taken for their spiritual journey and how it effects us. And for some of them it wasn't their fault, they couldn't even tie a rumaal but the parents. Some don't feel it is necessary for a child to cover their head, kinda like how it's permissable in some circles for a child to be partially unclothed since the child hasn't developed it's akaal, mat, budhi yet and it takes a while. It does become an issue when it's teenagers walking around who should know better.

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Again, I don't think in my opinion it's ok for a child to be exempt from this rule, obviously when a child is young, from birth to about 4, I agree they don't understand, however it becomes the parents and families responsibility that their child's head is covered. Even though a child is very innocent , in the sense that they can't really help or do much for themselves, that child has been born due to its Karam of previous life's to gain the life of human form. Our soul only reaches this janam to claim mukhti. So we should understand deeper meanings, by us being the parents and now not covering our children's heads because it ain't a "biggy" demonstrates how westernised our view on our own religion has become. It is simply Beadbi. I don't understand why we need to be so relaxed about this, I'm sure this doesn't happen in a Mosque or a Synagogue,

I don't believe some Giani or some random person should show the child or family up byembarrassing them. But a quite suggestion should be made. We all know that every persons head should be covered, but we really are not bothered enough to enforce it. People's spiritual growth or spiritual stunting happens on a day to day basis, but when going to the gurdwara, we are entering the guru's darbar where the guru is Prakash? We're not going to church where this rule is permitted, we're going to a gurdwara where the guru's insisted for everyone's heads to be covered!

A child in the uk generally has to wear school uniform by the age of 4, yet we find so many excuses to come up with a reason not to cover our children's heads in the gurdwara rather than just fix the problem as a parent has to say yes and no all day long, but in the gurwara, just forget it, it's alrite!

If we're ok on accepting this beadbi of the Guru Granth Sahib, then what beadbi is also going to come next and be relaxed?

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Again, I don't think in my opinion it's ok for a child to be exempt from this rule, obviously when a child is young, from birth to about 4, I agree they don't understand, however it becomes the parents and families responsibility that their child's head is covered. Even though a child is very innocent , in the sense that they can't really help or do much for themselves, that child has been born due to its Karam of previous life's to gain the life of human form. Our soul only reaches this janam to claim mukhti. So we should understand deeper meanings, by us being the parents and now not covering our children's heads because it ain't a "biggy" demonstrates how westernised our view on our own religion has become. It is simply Beadbi. I don't understand why we need to be so relaxed about this, I'm sure this doesn't happen in a Mosque or a Synagogue,

I don't believe some Giani or some random person should show the child or family up byembarrassing them. But a quite suggestion should be made. We all know that every persons head should be covered, but we really are not bothered enough to enforce it. People's spiritual growth or spiritual stunting happens on a day to day basis, but when going to the gurdwara, we are entering the guru's darbar where the guru is Prakash? We're not going to church where this rule is permitted, we're going to a gurdwara where the guru's insisted for everyone's heads to be covered!

A child in the uk generally has to wear school uniform by the age of 4, yet we find so many excuses to come up with a reason not to cover our children's heads in the gurdwara rather than just fix the problem as a parent has to say yes and no all day long, but in the gurwara, just forget it, it's alrite!

If we're ok on accepting this beadbi of the Guru Granth Sahib, then what beadbi is also going to come next and be relaxed?

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