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Struggling To Reconnect To Sikhi, Can Anyone Direct Me To Some Shabads!


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WJKK WJKF

Hi everyone, I am in need of some advice and direction to some shabads if anyone can help it would be massively appreciated.

I have realised that I am moving away from sikhi and I don’t want to. It has been like this for a couple of months but I thought it would pass as it usually does and my sikhi would become stronger, but something feels different this time. This is going to sound weird but before it was like I had a fire in me and it would get stronger every time I went to the gurdwara, or did vichar or simran etc, but it feels like that has been put out and I can’t seem to summon the same devotion or interest as before.

Every time I think about sikhi or Waheguru I feel very sad and sometimes guilty about the some of the decisions I have made in recent months that have been wildly out of character and not something I would have ever done if I was at home (with a stronger sikh sangat around me) or still strong in my faith (I drank alcohol, I have never wanted to drink, I have never liked the idea of it, i have tried drinking before i got into sikh and know that i don't like it yet somehow it happened anyway, even though I have been at uni for like a 2 years now and its only been this one instance where my faith was low and I sort of cracked, i know its not an excuse but it is the only way i am able to rationalise how i did something so unlike my normal self).

I don’t know if its and identity crisis, a faith crisis or just that I was influenced by those around me. I know I should do ardas and simran and just try to get back into good habits, but I feel that this time it’s not enough. I still feel Wahegurus presence, I still feel safe knowing that I can still recognise his presence but I also feel very sad for some reason every time I remember Waheguru, it is really weird… just sadness every time, I don’t know why but it is not the way I used to feel so it is freaking me out a bit!

I know similar questions have been posted and I have read most of what I could find but i don’t feel that what I have read so far is enough to help.

I feel like if I don’t get back on the path I was on before I will get well and truly lost in this world and not be able to find my way back.

Anything you can do to direct me back to sikhi would be great because I am really struggling to reconnect. I am taking like a crazy amount of ‘cyber hukumnama’s’ to get some guidance but feel that some of you that are more aware of Gurbani could direct me to a shabad that may suit my situation a bit better.

(just as a bit of background: I have not taken Amrit but I hope one day I am blessed to. I am student and currently not able to get the same kind of gursikh sangat that helped me in the past. This is a bit of topic but a few months ago there was a close death in my family and I was faced with death for the first time in my life, I think that may have been where all the questions and doubts started. Perhaps the realisation of how short our lives were, and how final death is made me reconsider my beliefs, but it kind of backfired…. Most people seem to realise the importance of sikhi at this kind point in their lives, apparently I didn't… I have been told in the past that I ‘over think’ sikhi and make it much harder than it needs to be by putting to much pressure on myself, that may also be part of this, which is why I really want some direction from Gurbani as it is perhaps the most basic but most important part of sikhi (excluding naam), but I’m not quite sure where to start)

Thanks in advance for any help you can give me.

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Dear sister,

Sorry to hear your struggle. Death is indeed one thing what brings a flood of emotions with it. My father passed away suddenly 5 years ago and I'm sure you felt the same feeling as I did of complete and utter shock. However sister, the lesson I have been taught from my 31 years of life ( I know it's not much) is that the only support which you will receive constantly in whatever situation, happiness, sadness, confusion is from Pramaatma, Akal purak themselves! As the only definate thing we will all go through, regardless of status, gender, religion etc is Death. So sister, you can have a conversation in your mind with Akal Purakh, as Akal Purakh resides within you, ask a question and it will be answered in some way you will recognise! Only god knows what resides within your deepest thoughts and he knows all your actions and failings, however we all fail and slip off the path, the important thing to do is recognise you have, which you have done and thing of the things which inspired your love for sikhi, hold on to it and move back stronger!

Everyone is different, no one is perfect for we all take this life as to gain mukhti. I used to drink, go clubbing etc but I always had a pull to sikhi like, I used to get irritated at the state of sikhs and their actions until after my dad's death, I realised that I moan about others being inadequate to call them selves sikhs, yet I am inadequate myself, so I thought that I will represent the sikhi that my guru established and all the Mahaan shaheed, men, woman and children gave their life's, complete bloodlines in kurbani for me to have the privelege to be able to follow sikhi. Our struggles today are not violence or wars or the unacceptance of our dharam, it is simply our own Mann. The war is with our Mann, our own mind is our biggest threat now, so sister when you feel the urge to take that detour, don't! Think of those shaheed what lined up to have their heads chopped off, think of those women who had their children cut up and stringed into a necklace, think of the sikhs what were skinned, scalped and scored with boiling hot water, all for our sikhi. Urge yourself to make these sikhs proud of us sikhs today, do it in their name for our kurbani today is in no comparison, as we just have to fight our mind!

So my sister, if you need to speak to akaal Purakh, speak to them, waheguru is within you, if you find your taking a detour, get directions from your family, the shaheed and gurus what gave so much and if you strive to be a sikh, be the strongest most i breakable sikh you can so we can set a standard for our future generation!

I leave you with my favourite shabad, Tu Daata, jiya sabhna ka basu mere Mann mahi!

You have a brother here, cheering you on! So don't lose your path!

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Guest dasguruka

That happens to me.sometimes bhenji and I think just by thinking of stuff will not get you out of this mentality because the mind is just too clever. I would suggest doing seva so its more practical and this will cleanse your mind slowly until Gurmat shines again.

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sister... this could just be the pinnacle of your bond getting stronger with waheguru.

Everything happens for a reason and this is your chance to improve yourself and learn from your mistake.

Yes, you stuffed up real bad, you acknowledge this, so that’s the first step.

You need to identify the triggers/ the situation that made you give in to temptation. Identify what made you so weak and see that you avoid these trigger or work on them so that you have the power to overcome them next time.

What’s done is done and you can’t go back and change that. What you can do is make sure that you are never placed in the same situation ever again. Don’t let this mistake define who you are.

Waheguru has the power to forgive the biggest mistakes of humans, so if you are genuine then seek forgiveness, move on, don’t beat yourself over it and finally make positive changes in your life to reconnect back with sikhi. You will need to take small steps in the right direction and in no time you will feel reconnected to sikhi.

Personally I would seek the presence of sadhsangat and gurmukhs, hanging with the right crowd is imperative. It difentily gives some sort of immunity

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Dear sister,

Sorry to hear your struggle. Death is indeed one thing what brings a flood of emotions with it. My father passed away suddenly 5 years ago and I'm sure you felt the same feeling as I did of complete and utter shock. However sister, the lesson I have been taught from my 31 years of life ( I know it's not much) is that the only support which you will receive constantly in whatever situation, happiness, sadness, confusion is from Pramaatma, Akal purak themselves! As the only definate thing we will all go through, regardless of status, gender, religion etc is Death. So sister, you can have a conversation in your mind with Akal Purakh, as Akal Purakh resides within you, ask a question and it will be answered in some way you will recognise! Only god knows what resides within your deepest thoughts and he knows all your actions and failings, however we all fail and slip off the path, the important thing to do is recognise you have, which you have done and thing of the things which inspired your love for sikhi, hold on to it and move back stronger!

Everyone is different, no one is perfect for we all take this life as to gain mukhti. I used to drink, go clubbing etc but I always had a pull to sikhi like, I used to get irritated at the state of sikhs and their actions until after my dad's death, I realised that I moan about others being inadequate to call them selves sikhs, yet I am inadequate myself, so I thought that I will represent the sikhi that my guru established and all the Mahaan shaheed, men, woman and children gave their life's, complete bloodlines in kurbani for me to have the privelege to be able to follow sikhi. Our struggles today are not violence or wars or the unacceptance of our dharam, it is simply our own Mann. The war is with our Mann, our own mind is our biggest threat now, so sister when you feel the urge to take that detour, don't! Think of those shaheed what lined up to have their heads chopped off, think of those women who had their children cut up and stringed into a necklace, think of the sikhs what were skinned, scalped and scored with boiling hot water, all for our sikhi. Urge yourself to make these sikhs proud of us sikhs today, do it in their name for our kurbani today is in no comparison, as we just have to fight our mind!

So my sister, if you need to speak to akaal Purakh, speak to them, waheguru is within you, if you find your taking a detour, get directions from your family, the shaheed and gurus what gave so much and if you strive to be a sikh, be the strongest most i breakable sikh you can so we can set a standard for our future generation!

I leave you with my favourite shabad, Tu Daata, jiya sabhna ka basu mere Mann mahi!

You have a brother here, cheering you on! So don't lose your path!

Dear sister,

Sorry to hear your struggle. Death is indeed one thing what brings a flood of emotions with it. My father passed away suddenly 5 years ago and I'm sure you felt the same feeling as I did of complete and utter shock. However sister, the lesson I have been taught from my 31 years of life ( I know it's not much) is that the only support which you will receive constantly in whatever situation, happiness, sadness, confusion is from Pramaatma, Akal purak themselves! As the only definate thing we will all go through, regardless of status, gender, religion etc is Death. So sister, you can have a conversation in your mind with Akal Purakh, as Akal Purakh resides within you, ask a question and it will be answered in some way you will recognise! Only god knows what resides within your deepest thoughts and he knows all your actions and failings, however we all fail and slip off the path, the important thing to do is recognise you have, which you have done and thing of the things which inspired your love for sikhi, hold on to it and move back stronger!

Everyone is different, no one is perfect for we all take this life as to gain mukhti. I used to drink, go clubbing etc but I always had a pull to sikhi like, I used to get irritated at the state of sikhs and their actions until after my dad's death, I realised that I moan about others being inadequate to call them selves sikhs, yet I am inadequate myself, so I thought that I will represent the sikhi that my guru established and all the Mahaan shaheed, men, woman and children gave their life's, complete bloodlines in kurbani for me to have the privelege to be able to follow sikhi. Our struggles today are not violence or wars or the unacceptance of our dharam, it is simply our own Mann. The war is with our Mann, our own mind is our biggest threat now, so sister when you feel the urge to take that detour, don't! Think of those shaheed what lined up to have their heads chopped off, think of those women who had their children cut up and stringed into a necklace, think of the sikhs what were skinned, scalped and scored with boiling hot water, all for our sikhi. Urge yourself to make these sikhs proud of us sikhs today, do it in their name for our kurbani today is in no comparison, as we just have to fight our mind!

So my sister, if you need to speak to akaal Purakh, speak to them, waheguru is within you, if you find your taking a detour, get directions from your family, the shaheed and gurus what gave so much and if you strive to be a sikh, be the strongest most i breakable sikh you can so we can set a standard for our future generation!

I leave you with my favourite shabad, Tu Daata, jiya sabhna ka basu mere Mann mahi!

You have a brother here, cheering you on! So don't lose your path!

This is probably the sweetest message i've ever read. I actually cant explain how it made me feel but its so lovely to know that we can and do actually come together as a Sikh family :)

Thank you! :)

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This is probably the sweetest message i've ever read. I actually cant explain how it made me feel but its so lovely to know that we can and do actually come together as a Sikh family :)

Thank you! :)

WJKK, WJKF

Dear sister,

You do not have to thank me as I strive to be a servant in the house of guru nanak. I wanted to tell you, as sikhs we try to put out the flames of kaam, krodh, mo, lobh and ahankar everyday and it is such a struggle, however alcohol (sharaab) is the key fuel what makes the flames of these emotions burn stronger and fiercer. I know this because I drank for about 15 years of my life. Every mistake I have ever made has been made through alcohol, as is makes the 5 emotions so strong, it leads to a domino affect of bad personal decisions when drunk and inevitably there are consequences in everyday life and on our spiritual path of mukhti. The meaning of sharaab if you don't already know is, "sha" an abbreviation of satan and "aab" meaning water, defined as "satans water", in itself the word is self explanatory. So I just wanted to stress to you, alcohol is not the answer.

Also, if your love one passed on, think what their reaction would be to you coming of your path, what do you think their view would be if it was a connected reaction to their death and the emotion you felt? We do not know if our loved ones reach the goal of mukhti, however mukhti is only in reach of each individual person for themselves, you can't change whether I will merge with Akal Purakh due to my Karam, neither can I achieve mukhti for you.

The most important thing is you have recognised that you have tripped up, getting back up is what you have to do now as you cannot crawl spiritually through your life.

A really nice explanation of the meaning of us being here and death from gurbani is the salok of sheikh fareed. They give such a home hitting metaphor of what we do here wasting time.

So again don't worry, take darshan of SGGS Ji, do your ardas in your mind and hold strong as Akal purak is within you, he knows and bears witness to your reservations, worries and failings, he also witnesses the good deeds you have done, the simran of his name you have done and the love and faith which you have had and will find again!

If you find it hard to do Paath or simran, simply just listen and you will here the unstruck sound. Find shanti in your Mann. A Father, Mother, Brother, Sister, Uncle, Aunt, Husband, Wife, Son, Daughter, Friend and whatever other relation there can be all inevitably leave you or you leave them at some point of life, this vichora happens for everyone, but the only thing what will ever be steady and remain with you, after you and forever is Akal Purakh.

Sister, learn from my mistakes and try not to get in deeper, get yourself up!

WJKK, WJKF

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